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December 2014 Moms
Williamsmarit
member
Let's Talk About Sleep Training
Williamsmarit
member
Ok, go gentle on me here. Can we start the sleep training discussion? My son basically fights sleep with everything he's got. Since day one. He also only naps about 30 mins, 3 times a day. He's so tired and I can tell. From about 2-3.5 months he magically started sleeping through the night but this was after he'd wake up 4-5 times in the first hour after putting him down initially.... In an auto rock n' play, swaddled, white noise, pacifier, you name it. Then at 3.5 months, a few weeks ago, he stopped sleeping well and has been up every 45 mins to an hour again at night. I know it's likely the 4-month sleep regression but our pediatrician agreed that since he was not needing to eat at night anymore that we could try a gentle method of "helping him sleep on his own". After reading plenty of books, from Ferber, to the Happy Sleeper, the No-Cry Sleep Solution and Sleep Easy - we were still torn if it was for us. After a weekend of no-sleep all-nighters, we got a little desperate and decided the Happy Sleeper method was for us and she thought this method sounded reasonable considering we'd never really let him cry more than a slight fuss at night.
Please note that yes, I've also read a lot of the articles about the damage sleep training can do, including "Letter from a sleep trained baby". I think that is a little bit on the extreme side, but has valid points. Everything I've read has valid points which is why I think it's such a personal decision. You have to filter out the BS and decide what might work for your baby - how they will get the best amount of sleep. The book or method that seemed the most reasonable for us was the Happy Sleeper.
Basically, with the Happy Sleeper you go back in 5 minute intervals and help soothe the baby by shhing and talking - letting them know you're still there, known as the "sleep wave". In the end, we got through 3, five-minute cycles of checks only for me to see him start to projectile vomit all over the place from the video monitor. At that moment I broke down, started bawling and realized he is nowhere near ready. Since then, his sleep has actually regressed more and he's basically been in my bed co-sleeping since that night with tons of guilt on my part. It was rough. In the end, I think he's just too young. He isn't ready. We're not ready. Praying it didn't damage the poor kid.
Has anybody else done any type of sleep training with your LOs (or older kids) and if not, do you plan to? What method do you think you'll try and at what point? I just can't decide if at some point (likely 6+ months of age) it will be more beneficial to have a few rough nights of crying for a long-term rested baby or if we just wait for it to figure itself out.
Please note that yes, I've also read a lot of the articles about the damage sleep training can do, including "Letter from a sleep trained baby". I think that is a little bit on the extreme side, but has valid points. Everything I've read has valid points which is why I think it's such a personal decision. You have to filter out the BS and decide what might work for your baby - how they will get the best amount of sleep. The book or method that seemed the most reasonable for us was the Happy Sleeper.
Basically, with the Happy Sleeper you go back in 5 minute intervals and help soothe the baby by shhing and talking - letting them know you're still there, known as the "sleep wave". In the end, we got through 3, five-minute cycles of checks only for me to see him start to projectile vomit all over the place from the video monitor. At that moment I broke down, started bawling and realized he is nowhere near ready. Since then, his sleep has actually regressed more and he's basically been in my bed co-sleeping since that night with tons of guilt on my part. It was rough. In the end, I think he's just too young. He isn't ready. We're not ready. Praying it didn't damage the poor kid.
Has anybody else done any type of sleep training with your LOs (or older kids) and if not, do you plan to? What method do you think you'll try and at what point? I just can't decide if at some point (likely 6+ months of age) it will be more beneficial to have a few rough nights of crying for a long-term rested baby or if we just wait for it to figure itself out.
Re: Let's Talk About Sleep Training
Anyway, we followed the steps outlined in "12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks," which was referred to us by another couple in our Bradley class. However, we had a good sleeper to begin with and basically just did this to get him to the final push of 11 hours a night (7pm - 6am is what works for our schedule). It's basically a sort of modified CIO.
What worked for us might not work for you, and it could be that your LO just isn't ready. I think it's great you're involving the pedi in the discussion. But don't give up altogether - maybe revisit in a couple weeks.
Also, I don't know when our LOs are big enough for this, but my friend tried chiropractic adjustments on her little girl when she was definitely still a baby and it worked wonders. She is 2 and a half now and still gets adjusted regularly, as needed for sleep issues.
Our first born is now 4 and doesn't seem damaged at all.
So we decided we'd put him awake in his crib at bedtime and if he cried, we'd go in after 5 mins and then wait 7 mins before going in again and then wait 10 mins. We've been putting him down awake for at least 2.5 weeks now and we've only gotten to 10 mins once.
Even though he wasn't quite 4 months when we started this, it was clear after the first couple nights that he was ready to do this (be placed awake in his crib in his room instead of being placed asleep in his PnP in our bedroom). He sleeps more soundly (less tossing and turning) and seems to know it's sleep time when he's placed in his crib.
Now, things aren't perfect. He still wakes 4-5 times per night, but we're spending less time getting him to sleep each wake up, because he can soothe himself or we quickly give him a paci.
I know it's a controversial method but I feel like I'm helping to create good sleep habits in him.
I know I'm creating a sleep association with a pacifier, but he can't always soothe himself with his hands yet so I want to give him something comforting. It's a work in progress.
I forgot to note before that we put him in Baby Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit and I have safety pinned a small soft frog to the suit so that he can touch it and be soothed by it but it can't move/fall away. Photo attached!