Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire pregnancy. I just had my 33 week appointment aka pee in cup/check heartbeat/any questions/ok you're done. And when I asked if I could have a printout of my lab results because we are meeting with a potential doula today and she asked us to bring them, the doctor literally threw her head back and laughed in my face. She asked why do I want a doula, and I said this particular one is also a midwife and since I want to labor at home as long as possible, having someone there with a fetal Doppler who is trained to check my cervix and say when it is time to go to the hospital will put me at ease and allow me to relax and labor at home comfortably longer. She laughed in my face again and said that is a terrible terrible idea, that laboring at home at all is bad, that if I end up with a dead baby I would never forgive myself- I kid you not the woman must have used the words "dead baby" at least five times. I wanted to punch her in the face. She said she would never ever allow anyone to monitor the baby at home- I don't see why this is so outrageous, I am not planning to stay home until I see a head or anything, I just don't want to go to the hospital until I have to, and this stupid doctor was basically saying every minute I labor at home I get closer to the baby dying and there being nothing I can do about it. Mind you my parents house where I will be laboring is less than 2 miles from the hospital. This woman's parting words were if you use this doula and something goes wrong and I am on call that day don't even come in because I will kill you. She actually said that. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?
What a jerk. I would call Monday and demand to speak to her and reiterate her language. Is she having a Friday brain fart? That is the ONLY explanation I can think of for an OB to say these things to a pregnant woman. That her brain isn't functioning.
Even if she disagrees, this way of speaking to you or communicating her views is unacceptable and cruel.
Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire pregnancy. I just had my 33 week appointment aka pee in cup/check heartbeat/any questions/ok you're done. And when I asked if I could have a printout of my lab results because we are meeting with a potential doula today and she asked us to bring them, the doctor literally threw her head back and laughed in my face. She asked why do I want a doula, and I said this particular one is also a midwife and since I want to labor at home as long as possible, having someone there with a fetal Doppler who is trained to check my cervix and say when it is time to go to the hospital will put me at ease and allow me to relax and labor at home comfortably longer. She laughed in my face again and said that is a terrible terrible idea, that laboring at home at all is bad, that if I end up with a dead baby I would never forgive myself- I kid you not the woman must have used the words "dead baby" at least five times. I wanted to punch her in the face. She said she would never ever allow anyone to monitor the baby at home- I don't see why this is so outrageous, I am not planning to stay home until I see a head or anything, I just don't want to go to the hospital until I have to, and this stupid doctor was basically saying every minute I labor at home I get closer to the baby dying and there being nothing I can do about it. Mind you my parents house where I will be laboring is less than 2 miles from the hospital. This woman's parting words were if you use this doula and something goes wrong and I am on call that day don't even come in because I will kill you. She actually said that. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?
This woman sounds incredibly unprofessional. To be honest, if my doctor were that condescending to me, I'd switch, even this late in the game.
FWIW, one of my good friends actually had a home birth. Now, this isn't something that I'm interested in doing for myself because I'm simply not comfortable with it (at least not as a first time mom), but she had a midwife there and she told me it was a much better experience than either of her hospital births. Based on her experience (admittedly, that of only one person and thus not true for everyone), I think that your plan of laboring at home with a doula/midwife and then going to the hospital to actually deliver is a pretty good one. Good luck!
@Serenamarr-WOW I am literally speechless. I can't believe that anyone, let alone a "medical professional" (I put that in quotes because she wasn't acting professional) would say/do the things to you she did. I'm so mad at her on your behalf, that was way over the line.
Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire pregnancy. I just had my 33 week appointment aka pee in cup/check heartbeat/any questions/ok you're done. And when I asked if I could have a printout of my lab results because we are meeting with a potential doula today and she asked us to bring them, the doctor literally threw her head back and laughed in my face. She asked why do I want a doula, and I said this particular one is also a midwife and since I want to labor at home as long as possible, having someone there with a fetal Doppler who is trained to check my cervix and say when it is time to go to the hospital will put me at ease and allow me to relax and labor at home comfortably longer. She laughed in my face again and said that is a terrible terrible idea, that laboring at home at all is bad, that if I end up with a dead baby I would never forgive myself- I kid you not the woman must have used the words "dead baby" at least five times. I wanted to punch her in the face. She said she would never ever allow anyone to monitor the baby at home- I don't see why this is so outrageous, I am not planning to stay home until I see a head or anything, I just don't want to go to the hospital until I have to, and this stupid doctor was basically saying every minute I labor at home I get closer to the baby dying and there being nothing I can do about it. Mind you my parents house where I will be laboring is less than 2 miles from the hospital. This woman's parting words were if you use this doula and something goes wrong and I am on call that day don't even come in because I will kill you. She actually said that. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?
This woman sounds incredibly unprofessional. To be honest, if my doctor were that condescending to me, I'd switch, even this late in the game.
FWIW, one of my good friends actually had a home birth. Now, this isn't something that I'm interested in doing for myself because I'm simply not comfortable with it (at least not as a first time mom), but she had a midwife there and she told me it was a much better experience than either of her hospital births. Based on her experience (admittedly, that of only one person and thus not true for everyone), I think that your plan of laboring at home with a doula/midwife and then going to the hospital to actually deliver is a pretty good one. Good luck!
Oh and don't get her started on home births! She went on for ten minutes saying "we condone home births" over and over when what she clearly meant to say is "condemn" because she not only said she would never approve of one, she equated having a home birth to living in a 3rd world country and how stupid it is to not take advantage of what we have in America (she is from Haiti) and more about how many dead babies she delivered in Haiti because they didn't go to the hospital.
Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire pregnancy. I just had my 33 week appointment aka pee in cup/check heartbeat/any questions/ok you're done. And when I asked if I could have a printout of my lab results because we are meeting with a potential doula today and she asked us to bring them, the doctor literally threw her head back and laughed in my face. She asked why do I want a doula, and I said this particular one is also a midwife and since I want to labor at home as long as possible, having someone there with a fetal Doppler who is trained to check my cervix and say when it is time to go to the hospital will put me at ease and allow me to relax and labor at home comfortably longer. She laughed in my face again and said that is a terrible terrible idea, that laboring at home at all is bad, that if I end up with a dead baby I would never forgive myself- I kid you not the woman must have used the words "dead baby" at least five times. I wanted to punch her in the face. She said she would never ever allow anyone to monitor the baby at home- I don't see why this is so outrageous, I am not planning to stay home until I see a head or anything, I just don't want to go to the hospital until I have to, and this stupid doctor was basically saying every minute I labor at home I get closer to the baby dying and there being nothing I can do about it. Mind you my parents house where I will be laboring is less than 2 miles from the hospital. This woman's parting words were if you use this doula and something goes wrong and I am on call that day don't even come in because I will kill you. She actually said that. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?
Are you effing kidding me?! Who the hell says that to a patient?!? I'm steaming mad right now and I didn't even meet with the stupid B.
I used a midwife for my first and they encourage to labor at home until your contractions are at least a minute in duration, 2-3 minutes apart for I think it was at least an hour (not 100% sure on that last part). I think it's honestly better to labor at home for as long as you feel comfortable. Fear slows down labor and seeing a hospital setting can induce that fear. Also the longer you are at the hospital in labor the more I would think they would push for interventions (obviously not all hospitals fit into this category) including c-sections and pitocin. I would never see that lady/ob ever again. I would be enraged just at the sight of her...don't even think about touching my baby!!! Hell to the no!
@karaelaine1991 also about switching- I'm at a practice with about 5 OBs and 3 midwives. They have one of each on call each day, and I want to deliver with a midwife so the chances of having her on that day are like less than one percent but still.
Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire pregnancy. I just had my 33 week appointment aka pee in cup/check heartbeat/any questions/ok you're done. And when I asked if I could have a printout of my lab results because we are meeting with a potential doula today and she asked us to bring them, the doctor literally threw her head back and laughed in my face. She asked why do I want a doula, and I said this particular one is also a midwife and since I want to labor at home as long as possible, having someone there with a fetal Doppler who is trained to check my cervix and say when it is time to go to the hospital will put me at ease and allow me to relax and labor at home comfortably longer. She laughed in my face again and said that is a terrible terrible idea, that laboring at home at all is bad, that if I end up with a dead baby I would never forgive myself- I kid you not the woman must have used the words "dead baby" at least five times. I wanted to punch her in the face. She said she would never ever allow anyone to monitor the baby at home- I don't see why this is so outrageous, I am not planning to stay home until I see a head or anything, I just don't want to go to the hospital until I have to, and this stupid doctor was basically saying every minute I labor at home I get closer to the baby dying and there being nothing I can do about it. Mind you my parents house where I will be laboring is less than 2 miles from the hospital. This woman's parting words were if you use this doula and something goes wrong and I am on call that day don't even come in because I will kill you. She actually said that. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?
This woman sounds incredibly unprofessional. To be honest, if my doctor were that condescending to me, I'd switch, even this late in the game.
FWIW, one of my good friends actually had a home birth. Now, this isn't something that I'm interested in doing for myself because I'm simply not comfortable with it (at least not as a first time mom), but she had a midwife there and she told me it was a much better experience than either of her hospital births. Based on her experience (admittedly, that of only one person and thus not true for everyone), I think that your plan of laboring at home with a doula/midwife and then going to the hospital to actually deliver is a pretty good one. Good luck!
Oh and don't get her started on home births! She went on for ten minutes saying "we condone home births" over and over when what she clearly meant to say is "condemn" because she not only said she would never approve of one, she equated having a home birth to living in a 3rd world country and how stupid it is to not take advantage of what we have in America (she is from Haiti) and more about how many dead babies she delivered in Haiti because they didn't go to the hospital.
Well, like I said, I personally feel much more comfortable with a hospital birth than a home birth (though, like you, I do plan on laboring at home at least for a little bit before I go in)... but to play devil's advocate, I think there are a lot of reasons why Haiti has a higher rate of stillbirths - I don't know much about it, but I would imagine that, being a third world country, moms probably don't get as much prenatal care as they do here. I'm sure that has a role to play, as well!
@Serenamarr - wtf? I mean, what the actual f? I don't see anything wrong with laboring in the comfort of your home as long as you feel safe doing so. I'm a FTM and I plan to do that, too. You should write a letter to the boss / director or something letting them know her language was inappropriate, and while you 'appreciate being told of the dangers of laboring at home for an extended period of time' the way in which it was communicated was frightening and made you feel guilty. What an a$$hole
@NotISaidtheCat - no worries. I started to get all bristly tail, then was like - chill Mel, I'm sure she doesn't mean you're an alcoholic. But yes, its hard to communicate tone. Its all good, gal :-bd
Thanks ladies for backing me up on this. She really made me feel like I was going crazy for a little bit there.
And @lovethatcolosun everything you said about fear slowing down labor, is exactly why I want to labor at home where I will be stress free and comfortable! So pissed at this quack for making me second guess something I was so sure about.
@Serenamarr the only states that are illegal to have a home birth in are Nebraska and Alabama. However some docs just aren't on board with any type of home laboring. But it's just too bad because it's your choice. So I would honestly just avoid discussing with that dr any further about laboring at home. Do your own thing and obviously I assume your educated enough to know the risks and benefits. Yes a Doppler isn't going to show you major continuous drops in fetal heart rate as a continuous monitor would so she/he is probably is just thinking of that. Many many people labor at home for as long as possible so it's your choice to do so. Im personally not a strong enough person to wait at home...... I will need the drugs
@Serenamarr the only states that are illegal to have a home birth in are Nebraska and Alabama. However some docs just aren't on board with any type of home laboring. But it's just too bad because it's your choice. So I would honestly just avoid discussing with that dr any further about laboring at home. Do your own thing and obviously I assume your educated enough to know the risks and benefits. Yes a Doppler isn't going to show you major continuous drops in fetal heart rate as a continuous monitor would so she/he is probably is just thinking of that. Many many people labor at home for as long as possible so it's your choice to do so. Im personally not a strong enough person to wait at home...... I will need the drugs
@Serenamarr I live in Georgia and I've heard it's illegal here as well (not actually sure if this is true) but that is beyond ridiculous. I would lose it if my doctor spoke to me that way. Our birthing class teacher (an l&d nurse who is also a doula) encouraged laboring at home. Even if shedoesn't agree with all your plans, that was not the appropriate way to tell you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'd be furious.
Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire pregnancy. I just had my 33 week appointment aka pee in cup/check heartbeat/any questions/ok you're done. And when I asked if I could have a printout of my lab results because we are meeting with a potential doula today and she asked us to bring them, the doctor literally threw her head back and laughed in my face. She asked why do I want a doula, and I said this particular one is also a midwife and since I want to labor at home as long as possible, having someone there with a fetal Doppler who is trained to check my cervix and say when it is time to go to the hospital will put me at ease and allow me to relax and labor at home comfortably longer. She laughed in my face again and said that is a terrible terrible idea, that laboring at home at all is bad, that if I end up with a dead baby I would never forgive myself- I kid you not the woman must have used the words "dead baby" at least five times. I wanted to punch her in the face. She said she would never ever allow anyone to monitor the baby at home- I don't see why this is so outrageous, I am not planning to stay home until I see a head or anything, I just don't want to go to the hospital until I have to, and this stupid doctor was basically saying every minute I labor at home I get closer to the baby dying and there being nothing I can do about it. Mind you my parents house where I will be laboring is less than 2 miles from the hospital. This woman's parting words were if you use this doula and something goes wrong and I am on call that day don't even come in because I will kill you. She actually said that. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?
Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire Oh and don't get her started on home births! She went on for ten minutes saying "we condone home births" over and over when what she clearly meant to say is "condemn" because she not only said she would never approve of one, she equated having a home birth to living in a 3rd world country and how stupid it is to not take advantage of what we have in America (she is from Haiti) and more about how many dead babies she delivered in Haiti because they didn't go to the hospital.
Sounds likes she's stupid and an asshole! Just be glad you don't have to live her life I guess! I'm feeling the rage for you!
Edited because quotes are hard! And to add that I realize you indicate there may be a language and cultural barrier but still!!
My doctor encouraged me to labor at home! He knows I want a natural birth and is supportive of that. My hospital even offers doulas if you want them! Your OB sounds incredibly unprofessional and I would be extremely upset. I am so sorry you are having to deal with that.
@serenamarr bless you for not bitch slapping her. Pretty sure I wouldn't have kept my composure. I think your birth plan is reasonable and awesome. I thought doctors usually hope for moms that don't run to the hospital at the first sign of labor. Mine has definitely told me to labor at home as long as possible or till contractions are 3-4 mins apart
I'm sitting in the coffee shop and this idiot grandpa who's watching his grandson is sitting on his butt while this baby runs around (just being a baby, not hurting anything) yelling "No!" at him like he's a freakin' dog every time he heads for something he probably shouldn't touch (a service dog, the outlet) instead of getting up and engaging the poor kid. I really hate it when adults do shit like this - A) this is a public space, don't let your 18-month-old wander around unattended kids are people, not dogs C) stop fucking yelling!
@KarasTwin Georgia must of just recently made it illegal?! Interesting. I thought NE was the most behind the times lol
I'm not 100% sure, but I remember when we covered child birth in my human sexuality class in college my professor who had recently had her daughter mentioning it was. I googled it after I posted and found something saying that it is legal but not technically possible as any midwife in Georgia has to have an OB that has signed on to work with them and apparently that's basically impossible. It also said that insurance won't cover it up front and it's a near impossible battle to get reimbursed. Another tothing I've heard that I'm not really clear if it's true or not, but the reason it's illegal is to avoid people having children and not registering them with the social security office or getting birth certificates.
Oh gosh, the idiots on the names board are insane. Got a warning for "inhibiting" their abilities to "use and enjoy" this site. I also just realised the worst of them aren't even pregnant, just super judgy and looking for an audience to inflict their bitchy opinions on. Blech.
so.. my husband just told me to "take it somewhere else" because im on my phone while we are laying in bed, and me scrolling facebook (not even watching videos or anything) was disrupting him.. but yet we have to have the blinds open all night (we live across from 7-11) so there is always light or vehicles headlights shining through. i have to deal with his alarms that go off for over an hour most days because he has trouble waking up.. but if i told him to "take it somewhere else" he would get pretty mad. i just find it unfair. he works early. i work late, he expects us to have the same sleep schedule but my body doesnt work like that. ugh. so frustrating.
Oh gosh, the idiots on the names board are insane. Got a warning for "inhibiting" their abilities to "use and enjoy" this site. I also just realised the worst of them aren't even pregnant, just super judgy and looking for an audience to inflict their bitchy opinions on. Blech.
I don't like the names board ladies. A very negative feeling board, that
Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire pregnancy. I just had my 33 week appointment aka pee in cup/check heartbeat/any questions/ok you're done. And when I asked if I could have a printout of my lab results because we are meeting with a potential doula today and she asked us to bring them, the doctor literally threw her head back and laughed in my face. She asked why do I want a doula, and I said this particular one is also a midwife and since I want to labor at home as long as possible, having someone there with a fetal Doppler who is trained to check my cervix and say when it is time to go to the hospital will put me at ease and allow me to relax and labor at home comfortably longer. She laughed in my face again and said that is a terrible terrible idea, that laboring at home at all is bad, that if I end up with a dead baby I would never forgive myself- I kid you not the woman must have used the words "dead baby" at least five times. I wanted to punch her in the face. She said she would never ever allow anyone to monitor the baby at home- I don't see why this is so outrageous, I am not planning to stay home until I see a head or anything, I just don't want to go to the hospital until I have to, and this stupid doctor was basically saying every minute I labor at home I get closer to the baby dying and there being nothing I can do about it. Mind you my parents house where I will be laboring is less than 2 miles from the hospital. This woman's parting words were if you use this doula and something goes wrong and I am on call that day don't even come in because I will kill you. She actually said that. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?
Holy crap! I know it's late in the pregnancy but I would be looking at a new doctor or midwife. Yikes!
I ate an orange with my lunch. Got orange juice all over my fingers, and the orange rind underneath my nails. Got up, washed my hands. As I finished washing my hands, the sound of running water made me have to pee. And thus, wash my hands again. Twice in two minutes. :-w Edited, spelling
Throughout my pregnancy I have had not one rude comment. Or if I did, it had no impact as I can't remember any.
Then this morning, the nurse tells me and DH that I'll need these daily shots to prevent blood clots. Ok fine. Since I may go home tomorrow, DH will be the one giving the shots. So the nurse tries to explain how to give the shots on the tummy area. As she's explaining she looks at me and says, "So here's a nice big tummy!" Then proceeds to poke at the different areas where I can have the shot.
Throughout my pregnancy I have had not one rude comment. Or if I did, it had no impact as I can't remember any.
Then this morning, the nurse tells me and DH that I'll need these daily shots to prevent blood clots. Ok fine. Since I may go home tomorrow, DH will be the one giving the shots. So the nurse tries to explain how to give the shots on the tummy area. As she's explaining she looks at me and says, "So here's a nice big tummy!" Then proceeds to poke at the different areas where I can have the shot.
I JUST gave birth, bitch! Ugh!
No, just not. I hope you side-eyed the shit out of her.
Throughout my pregnancy I have had not one rude comment. Or if I did, it had no impact as I can't remember any.
Then this morning, the nurse tells me and DH that I'll need these daily shots to prevent blood clots. Ok fine. Since I may go home tomorrow, DH will be the one giving the shots. So the nurse tries to explain how to give the shots on the tummy area. As she's explaining she looks at me and says, "So here's a nice big tummy!" Then proceeds to poke at the different areas where I can have the shot.
I JUST gave birth, bitch! Ugh!
Wow! Great bedside manner... So rude! I would have wanted to slap her!
ETA: it is really hard to do sarcasm on here. So by great I mean ridiculously awful...
Wow guys. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire pregnancy. I just had my 33 week appointment aka pee in cup/check heartbeat/any questions/ok you're done. And when I asked if I could have a printout of my lab results because we are meeting with a potential doula today and she asked us to bring them, the doctor literally threw her head back and laughed in my face. She asked why do I want a doula, and I said this particular one is also a midwife and since I want to labor at home as long as possible, having someone there with a fetal Doppler who is trained to check my cervix and say when it is time to go to the hospital will put me at ease and allow me to relax and labor at home comfortably longer. She laughed in my face again and said that is a terrible terrible idea, that laboring at home at all is bad, that if I end up with a dead baby I would never forgive myself- I kid you not the woman must have used the words "dead baby" at least five times. I wanted to punch her in the face. She said she would never ever allow anyone to monitor the baby at home- I don't see why this is so outrageous, I am not planning to stay home until I see a head or anything, I just don't want to go to the hospital until I have to, and this stupid doctor was basically saying every minute I labor at home I get closer to the baby dying and there being nothing I can do about it. Mind you my parents house where I will be laboring is less than 2 miles from the hospital. This woman's parting words were if you use this doula and something goes wrong and I am on call that day don't even come in because I will kill you. She actually said that. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?
What an ignorant (can I write the b word?)! I can't even believe I just read this. I also think its insane that some states make it illegal to birth at home. Just because your pregnant doesn't mean you no longer have rights. Unbelievable.
When you're just trying to get thru the plastic wrap holding together the 3 pack of Puffs so you can grab another box of tissues and the damned plastic won't tear ANYWHERE. Its like, super polymer, space age, nuclear fallout proof plastic. :-<
I'm afraid to get out of bed because Yesterday Serena was too tired to organize or even move all the baby shower stuff from the living room, kitchen and hallway to the nursery. I think She may have even left a box of leftover food somewhere. Now Today Serena has to deal with the consequences. That Yesterday Serena is such a b!
OMG! My extended family is about to drive me bonkers! They keep asking if my due date is the same. I keep telling them the EDD is something that doesn't typically change and the odds are that I will not have him on my due date anyhow. Besides, he will decide to come when he is ready. I have explained that MULTIPLE times. And I keep getting the same question from the same people. I'm just not answering their texts any more because I may unleash some hormones on them...
So my lovely MIL has always had issues with me. Unfortunately I have to see her every Wednesday and Sunday at church. Yesterday morning at church my husbands grandmother and nieces were in from out of town. The girls are so sweet and always rub my belly and speak to me. His mother and grandmother however pretend I do not exist. I am already sensitive about it bc I feel it's ridiculous. His mother is upset with me bc we want two hours after my scheduled csection to bond and nurse our baby. She find this selfish and unecessary. We haven't spoken since February. She said we would "regret" hurting her this way. Anyways, me and my husband run the sound for church service. We sit in a secluded sound box behind the sanctuary. After service his grandmother came into the small room and directly told him goodbye. IGNORING ME. Then he proceeded to tell me about a tradition his family has where they take his grandmother to shoneys early in the morning on Mother's Day. In my livid state I asked him if he was actually going to go. He said yes. I said well you'll be going alone. Why would I want to be around people who go out of their way to make me feel so unwanted and uncomfortable?? Mind you I have never been disrespectful or rude. These people are hateful. I'm disgusted. He claims he doesn't care what his mother thinks bc she's always done this to her kids. If she doesn't like something they do she ignores them and treats them badly. He says he makes it a point to be pleasant to her just to piss her off. I'm thinking FML right now. I want to say " don't even think you will be around my daughter once she's born." She's done this to me so many times. I so badly want to be immature!!!! Sorry so long.
So my lovely MIL has always had issues with me. Unfortunately I have to see her every Wednesday and Sunday at church. Yesterday morning at church my husbands grandmother and nieces were in from out of town. The girls are so sweet and always rub my belly and speak to me. His mother and grandmother however pretend I do not exist. I am already sensitive about it bc I feel it's ridiculous. His mother is upset with me bc we want two hours after my scheduled csection to bond and nurse our baby. She find this selfish and unecessary. We haven't spoken since February. She said we would "regret" hurting her this way. Anyways, me and my husband run the sound for church service. We sit in a secluded sound box behind the sanctuary. After service his grandmother came into the small room and directly told him goodbye. IGNORING ME. Then he proceeded to tell me about a tradition his family has where they take his grandmother to shoneys early in the morning on Mother's Day. In my livid state I asked him if he was actually going to go. He said yes. I said well you'll be going alone. Why would I want to be around people who go out of their way to make me feel so unwanted and uncomfortable?? Mind you I have never been disrespectful or rude. These people are hateful. I'm disgusted. He claims he doesn't care what his mother thinks bc she's always done this to her kids. If she doesn't like something they do she ignores them and treats them badly. He says he makes it a point to be pleasant to her just to piss her off. I'm thinking FML right now. I want to say " don't even think you will be around my daughter once she's born." She's done this to me so many times. I so badly want to be immature!!!! Sorry so long.
This is so terrible. Sounds like these people are jerks. I hope your husband recognizes that they are in fact trying to ice you out. Once he realizes whats going on maybe he can start to draw firm boundaries and stand up to them. Unfortunately with in-law conflicts the blood relative is usually the best person to deal with the issue. Nothing seems to get done when a daughter in law calls out mothers in law because they just run and hide behind "looking out for the family's best interest". In the mean time talk to DH and I say try and kill them with kindness. Greet them and say good bye...force them to acknowledge you even on the shallow level. If they don't respond then that only makes them look like SUPER jerks to you, your husband and others. Its an easy way to passively call them out.
I agree. In the heat of the moment I just burst into tears. We talked about it a little yesterday and I understand where he's coming from. They have done this to him and his sister their whole lives and he says saying anything else about it will only make it worse. He has stuck up for me as far as telling her she's wrong and we will do what we think is best for OUR family. And he's done it with grace so I can't complain really. I also told him they won't be around my daughter, but idk if I can't stick to that and I don't want to hurt him by this. He's already stuck in the middle. He says he's going bc it's tradition and he'd rather piss them off with his presence than shy away and pout. I have to agree pretending to be happy annoys me though.
1. I haven't had an ultrasound since about 19 weeks and am almost 34 weeks. Every member of our family keeps asking how much the baby weighs and doesn't seem to understand that the only way to estimate is an ultrasound no matter how many times I say it. I get this question a minimum of once a day if i'm around our families.
2. Our baby shower is this weekend. I made up a registry through both Amazon and Target but a lot of people had problems using them or have just looked at them and bought the items elsewhere, making it hard to know what has been bought. I have no problem with this and am thankful for anything people want to give us, so I've been telling anyone who asked about a registry where to find it but also that we still needed a lot of basic things.
This seems to be going well mostly, but a few people, who know the registry situation and were able to view them, keep calling and asking if I know if anyone has purchased random large items from the registry. If I know someone bought something elsewhere or sent the gift ahead, I have been removing it from the list. A few people have mentioned a couple possible gifts in the past, like car seats because i recently bought a small car, but never said another word. Otherwise, I have no idea. I'm not a mind reader.
I don't want to sound whiney but I'm tired and tired of repeating myself all the time with the same people.
So my lovely MIL has always had issues with me. Unfortunately I have to see her every Wednesday and Sunday at church. Yesterday morning at church my husbands grandmother and nieces were in from out of town. The girls are so sweet and always rub my belly and speak to me. His mother and grandmother however pretend I do not exist. I am already sensitive about it bc I feel it's ridiculous. His mother is upset with me bc we want two hours after my scheduled csection to bond and nurse our baby. She find this selfish and unecessary. We haven't spoken since February. She said we would "regret" hurting her this way. Anyways, me and my husband run the sound for church service. We sit in a secluded sound box behind the sanctuary. After service his grandmother came into the small room and directly told him goodbye. IGNORING ME. Then he proceeded to tell me about a tradition his family has where they take his grandmother to shoneys early in the morning on Mother's Day. In my livid state I asked him if he was actually going to go. He said yes. I said well you'll be going alone. Why would I want to be around people who go out of their way to make me feel so unwanted and uncomfortable?? Mind you I have never been disrespectful or rude. These people are hateful. I'm disgusted. He claims he doesn't care what his mother thinks bc she's always done this to her kids. If she doesn't like something they do she ignores them and treats them badly. He says he makes it a point to be pleasant to her just to piss her off. I'm thinking FML right now. I want to say " don't even think you will be around my daughter once she's born." She's done this to me so many times. I so badly want to be immature!!!! Sorry so long.
Wow. That's rough. How is wanting to bond with your baby selfish? I definitely agree with @MrsWiggleWaggle about having your husband speak with them. Something else that may help when he does is showing her info on skin to skin. We had our hospital tour yesterday and they actually gave us a folder and booklet explaining their policies including skin to skin. Something in print may help her to understand that you aren't trying to hurt her but that the hospital has policies and that birth is an exhausting experience for mom, dad, and baby and that ya'll will need some time to rest before you introduce your new LO. I think a lot of older people don't understand skin to skin as it's a relatively new practice, but she needs to understand that you need time. As far as them ignoring you I'd be sugary sweet and say hello and goodbye to them every time I saw them. I wouldn't go to the breakfast, though. I don't blame you one bit for refusing, you don't need the additional stress.
So mine again is about my DH family. For the past 34 weeks my soon to be DS, has not been subject of any conversations. They don't care that we are having a baby. They only seem to care about another girl in the family. She was artificially inseminated and is now pregnant with twins. Here's the kicker, she was married and has to almost grown kids. She divorced that husband and married his cousin and now is pregnant with his twins. This family preaches about Christianity and doing what's right and loving everyone an so on. I ended up in triage this past weekend with contractions and dehydration. My husband told his mom that we were fine but it was precautionary. Now I haven't had a relationship with his mother she hasn't liked me since we got married. All of a sudden she loves me lol. She's bipolar we think. She acts the same with my husband. Now getting texts from his family telling me to let them know if anything goes on? I have been home since Saturday night and no one cared for the past 34 weeks what happened so why now? Then I had to be the bad guy yet again and tell them the only visitors we want are our daughters.
It's really sad sometimes the people we go to church with/family are the most judgemental. What's that saying, " standing in a church doesn't necessarily make you a good Christian" well...... Something along those lines.
Had nearly $200 in merch credit on a GC from babies r us... Tried to use it last night... No money. Turns out it was "used a month ago in California". I'm in Texas. Obviously it was stolen virtually or something. It's being investigated but I am so upset. Ladies beware!
I am so frustrated with people asking me baby's name!! We said from the beginning we weren't tell anyone because honestly we don't want to hear others opinions. Everytime I see my FIL he constantly asks me. "So what is it? Not even a letter?" And for some reason he has it stuck in his head we have decided on Sarah (which we haven't). He tries to get it out of DH all of the time. My SIL just had a baby and never told anyone... And my FIL didn't say a peep to her. Agh 6.5 more weeks I suppose!
Re: Daily Vents/ Frustrations/ Complaints Anyone?
Even if she disagrees, this way of speaking to you or communicating her views is unacceptable and cruel.
Do you have a rabid wolf you can set on her?
I used a midwife for my first and they encourage to labor at home until your contractions are at least a minute in duration, 2-3 minutes apart for I think it was at least an hour (not 100% sure on that last part). I think it's honestly better to labor at home for as long as you feel comfortable. Fear slows down labor and seeing a hospital setting can induce that fear. Also the longer you are at the hospital in labor the more I would think they would push for interventions (obviously not all hospitals fit into this category) including c-sections and pitocin. I would never see that lady/ob ever again. I would be enraged just at the sight of her...don't even think about touching my baby!!! Hell to the no!
@NotISaidtheCat - no worries. I started to get all bristly tail, then was like - chill Mel, I'm sure she doesn't mean you're an alcoholic. But yes, its hard to communicate tone. Its all good, gal :-bd
And @lovethatcolosun everything you said about fear slowing down labor, is exactly why I want to labor at home where I will be stress free and comfortable! So pissed at this quack for making me second guess something I was so sure about.
Yes a Doppler isn't going to show you major continuous drops in fetal heart rate as a continuous monitor would so she/he is probably is just thinking of that. Many many people labor at home for as long as possible so it's your choice to do so. Im personally not a strong enough person to wait at home...... I will need the drugs
Edited because quotes are hard! And to add that I realize you indicate there may be a language and cultural barrier but still!!
Ugh.
but yet we have to have the blinds open all night (we live across from 7-11) so there is always light or vehicles headlights shining through. i have to deal with his alarms that go off for over an hour most days because he has trouble waking up.. but if i told him to "take it somewhere else" he would get pretty mad. i just find it unfair. he works early. i work late, he expects us to have the same sleep schedule but my body doesnt work like that. ugh. so frustrating.
Edited, spelling
Then this morning, the nurse tells me and DH that I'll need these daily shots to prevent blood clots. Ok fine. Since I may go home tomorrow, DH will be the one giving the shots. So the nurse tries to explain how to give the shots on the tummy area. As she's explaining she looks at me and says, "So here's a nice big tummy!" Then proceeds to poke at the different areas where I can have the shot.
I JUST gave birth, bitch! Ugh!
Wow! Great bedside manner... So rude! I would have wanted to slap her!
ETA: it is really hard to do sarcasm on here. So by great I mean ridiculously awful...
She tried to be nice and told me I remind her of her daughter. Whatevs. [-(
1. I haven't had an ultrasound since about 19 weeks and am almost 34 weeks. Every member of our family keeps asking how much the baby weighs and doesn't seem to understand that the only way to estimate is an ultrasound no matter how many times I say it. I get this question a minimum of once a day if i'm around our families.
2. Our baby shower is this weekend. I made up a registry through both Amazon and Target but a lot of people had problems using them or have just looked at them and bought the items elsewhere, making it hard to know what has been bought. I have no problem with this and am thankful for anything people want to give us, so I've been telling anyone who asked about a registry where to find it but also that we still needed a lot of basic things.
This seems to be going well mostly, but a few people, who know the registry situation and were able to view them, keep calling and asking if I know if anyone has purchased random large items from the registry. If I know someone bought something elsewhere or sent the gift ahead, I have been removing it from the list. A few people have mentioned a couple possible gifts in the past, like car seats because i recently bought a small car, but never said another word. Otherwise, I have no idea. I'm not a mind reader.
I don't want to sound whiney but I'm tired and tired of repeating myself all the time with the same people.
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