September 2015 Moms

Sex drive-gone

Pre-pregnancy I loved sex. I think it has a lot to do with why my husband married me. We had a wonderful, healthy, sex life. We were put on pelvic rest for the first 15 weeks and now, at 18 weeks, it's gone. My poor husband is so frustrated and I don't know what to do.
The drive is just gone. I'm sure it is stress related, between being a FTM and terrified of everything that is happening in my body and my current work load. (Corporate America on steroids) I'm also traveling most weeks for work, and working odd hours while doing so. So, when I'm home, I'm exhausted.
He's being so patient and supportive. I just feel like I've let him down.
Any tips for how to get my groove back?

Re: Sex drive-gone

  • Please send me the tips when you get them!!
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  • I try even though I don't want to and when I do it is usually so dry down there I can't even keep it up with a decent lubricant.
    It's so disturbing! It's like I just don't get turned on. AT ALL.
    I'm so confused ...and sad!
  • I'm also not experiencing the crazy awesome second trimester sex drive. We're still going at it at least once a week, I find I still enjoy oral (sorry if that's tmi) even if I'm not initially in the mood. Also, I'm exhausted in the evenings, so things are only happening in the morning. I'd suggest morning fun if you're tired in the evenings. 
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  • I'm too tired at night too. We sneak away from the bigger kiddo at least once every day off! We like to hop in the shower together whenever possible too. Just keep kissing, hugging and showering together! If you have enough opportunities, things are bound to happen from time to time! You can always show him some attention even if you aren't interested in the real deal. And say I love you! Just because your body is betraying you doesn't mean you can't express your feelings and make sure he feels important to you. You guys will get through this!!
  • surprisepkg31surprisepkg31 member
    edited April 2015
    I'm telling you ladies organic coconut oil is the best lube ever! You can eat it and it's also a cheap eye make remover! Lol That being said I'm with you! Sex sounds like such a chore. Between sore hips, sensitive boobs, a growing gassy belly and feeling squished, it just sounds awful! I would say that having some "me" pleasure time might help but from personal experience I'm not into that either. it is totally lame because I miss the connection with my husband. Even making out sounds un appealing!!!
  • I'm with you all! First trimester I was so exhausted but we made it work. But now that I'm 20 weeks and my bump has made an appearance, every position is so uncomfortable. Plus, baby seems to like sitting super low, so the pressure down there makes it even worse and I'm so insanely sensitive it doesn't feel good at all! I feel bad for DH too, but like he told me the other night, "It's just temporary. Don't worry." At least he knows it's not that I don't want to do it, it's just more painful than anything right now!
  • Me too :( When I was in the first trimester I was dyyyying for it even though I was so sick with HG. Now that I'm feeling much better I barely want it. I find that if I try anyways I can usually end up getting into it. Still not the same though :/ maybe we should eat some aphrodisiacs lolol!
  • Haha same boat. Absolutely zero desire. I'll do it at least once a week for his sake and try to give him attention like back rubs or cuddling so at least we still have a little bit of that connection. That second tri increased libido skipped me!
  • I am with you all! I feel really guilty about it too.
  • I had like a two week window and now I don't have any interest. I've found that if we get started I do really enjoy it. I had to start using lub (which I don't normally need) because I was getting sore after sex. It's much better now. I got a brand called Sliquid. I am allergic to everything and this one doesn't bother me at all. I also read that it was safe during pregnancy. Most nights if he is interested I just go for it or at least give him attention, but there are some night where I just have to tell him no because I am too tired. He can deal with it.  ;) He got only the fun part of making the baby. I got stuck with all the work LOL!! 
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  • I am so glad we are talking about this because I just read week 20 symptoms and its says high sex drive and I have none. My husband and I have been together for seven and a half years and once we started having sex, it has been four times a week at least. Now he touches me and I get uncomfortable. Ever since about week eight I haven't wanted any of it. I have been trying but it feels so weird that I just want to get it over with and no one enjoys themselves. It has really been stressing me out because my husband is so sweet and loving and I am attracted to him, but it just isn't the same. I feel like he wishes I was one of the pregnant women who can't get enough, and I am just disappointing him.
    Married 9.22.2012
    Me: 30, Husband: 36
    Estimated Due Date 9.10.2015
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