Nothing wrong with hosting your own shower. Were having a bbq at our house to celebrate bringing another life into our world with our family and friends. One last get together before everything changes! Not expecting gifts though i know some of my friends are loving doing a bit of baby shopping. Its about presence not presents.
You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.
There is a whole lot meaner things happening in this world than telling her not to host a shower in her honor. Calm down and grow thicker skin.
You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.
OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.
A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.
You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.
A registry is certainly not a list of items the parents intend to buy. At least it wasn't for us. Maybe you use the 10% discount to buy some stuff, but let's be honest with ourselves. You wouldn't make a registry if people weren't going to buy you things off of it. That would be like making a registry for your grocery shopping. I'm sorry, I'm not understanding all of this "people will be offended if you assume they will buy you a present" stuff. Of COURSE they want to buy you a present. We don't make a ton of $, and if my close friend is having a baby I will buy her a present off of her registry happily. We all know how this works, why make it so complicated by saying a registry isn't asking people to buy you things? That's exactly what a registry is.
@stow2009 You're (edited for grammatical correctness) wrong. A registry is supposed to be what you intend to buy. And as for making a registry for the grocery store? It's called a shopping list! I never go to the store without it because then I would only have half the ingredients I need for every dinner this week. Same idea with the registry. You put on what you decide you need. Then people can choose to buy off the list or not.
You decided you were having a baby. It's your job to provide for it. Bottom line. A shower was meant to welcome mom to motherhood. It's a gift not an entitlement. Hosting a party where everyone is obligated to bring you presets is gift grabby and tacky. It's not an opinion because you don't like it. It's a serious Breech of etiquette. We are just saying what everyone else will say behind your back.
And plus also no one is saying people will Be offended if you assume they will buy you a present. The concept of throwing your own shower is because the above statement is true. You are saying it's okay to invite people over with the idea that they will all have to buy you a gift. That is tacky and gift grabby and why it is supposed to be thrown by a third party.
Here is my two cents: OP, I understand you just moved, but I would assume that the people who would attend your shower would still be your friends from where you used to live as well as your family - was one of them going to throw you one before? Just because you moved doesn't mean one of them can't now, it just means you may need to travel further to get to it (and others have already made great suggestions that the hostess can request your gifts be shipped or gift cards for you). I would wait and see if someone is going to throw you one. Second, everyone who is getting so upset about people being "rude" or "mean" - the OP asked for people's opinions on the subject, she did not ask for everyone to agree and say, "yes, do it!" if she did not care what other people thought on the subject, she would not have asked. Just because you don't agree with other people's opinions on the subject doesn't make their opinions wrong - they are OPINIONS.
Wow thanks all for your opinions, have a lot of good ideas now. If no one offers to host a baby shower I like the idea of a meet the baby kind of party.
You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.
I mean, it couldn't get any more original than that....do you also feel bad for our husbands too?
You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.
This. Literally all she is asking is for advice because she just moved she would still like to have a baby shower and all these posts like crush her dreams really. Everyone thinks differently just because you wouldn't personally host your own shower doesn't mean that it's wrong or selfish.
You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.
This. Literally all she is asking is for advice because she just moved she would still like to have a baby shower and all these posts like crush her dreams really. Everyone thinks differently just because you wouldn't personally host your own shower doesn't mean that it's wrong or selfish.
How is hosting an event for yourself that requires guests to buy you gifts not selfish?
You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.
This. Literally all she is asking is for advice because she just moved she would still like to have a baby shower and all these posts like crush her dreams really. Everyone thinks differently just because you wouldn't personally host your own shower doesn't mean that it's wrong or selfish.
That's because people place far too much importance on showers. It's not a life event like a graduation, wedding or the birth of your baby.
You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.
This. Literally all she is asking is for advice because she just moved she would still like to have a baby shower and all these posts like crush her dreams really. Everyone thinks differently just because you wouldn't personally host your own shower doesn't mean that it's wrong or selfish.
Again, I will reiterate, OP asked for people's opinions on the matter - people gave them, it is that simple. No one is crushing her dreams and regardless of what anyone says on here, she can still choose to do whatever she chooses to do. Clearly she even questioned if it is proper etiquette to host her own or she never would have asked the question. She could always mention to one of her close friends or family members who she thinks would throw one for her, "I am bummed that I may not end up having a shower now that I moved," and see if they offer to host one for her - it is that simple!
For what it's worth, I ESPECIALLY wouldn't want to throw my own shower and invite new people in a new town. What a terrible first impression.
I think this is the bigger issue. I know people could debate back and forth all day long on whether or not hosting your own shower is tacky or not. But the fact is, if you're new in town is going to be extra strange because folks don't know you that well yet. If you really want a shower, I would plan a trip back to your hoometown about a month or two before your due date. Then maybe someone will offer to host a shower while you are in town. But don't count on it, and don't be upset if it doesn't happen.
@morethancottoncandy2 the company we keep is also a life choice. I have been to many baby showers and never noticed who was throwing the shower. I only noticed that it was for my friend and I wanted to come to support her. But I guess that is just me. Life and motherhood is full of far too many greater problems and stressors than "who hosted this baby shower!?" If that is your biggest concern in life than I applaud you and I am jealous.
@morethancottoncandy2 the company we keep is also a life choice. I have been to many baby showers and never noticed who was throwing the shower. I only noticed that it was for my friend and I wanted to come to support her. But I guess that is just me. Life and motherhood is full of far too many greater problems and stressors than "who hosted this baby shower!?" If that is your biggest concern in life than I applaud you and I am jealous.
Well it's pretty obvious when you get an invitation and have to RSVP....you know, to the hostess. It's a pretty big leap to assume that's my biggest concern in life. Rest assured, it's not. I was just raised with manners and concern for etiquette. I think it's a shame that more people aren't. We live in a very entitled society. It's sad.
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.
OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.
A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.
You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.
A registry is certainly not a list of items the parents intend to buy. At least it wasn't for us. Maybe you use the 10% discount to buy some stuff, but let's be honest with ourselves. You wouldn't make a registry if people weren't going to buy you things off of it. That would be like making a registry for your grocery shopping. I'm sorry, I'm not understanding all of this "people will be offended if you assume they will buy you a present" stuff. Of COURSE they want to buy you a present. We don't make a ton of $, and if my close friend is having a baby I will buy her a present off of her registry happily. We all know how this works, why make it so complicated by saying a registry isn't asking people to buy you things? That's exactly what a registry is.
@stow2009 Your wrong. A registry is supposed to be what you intend to buy. And as for making a registry for the grocery store? It's called a shopping list! I never go to the store without it because then I would only have half the ingredients I need for every dinner this week. Same idea with the registry. You put on what you decide you need. Then people can choose to buy off the list or not.
You decided you were having a baby. It's your job to provide for it. Bottom line. A shower was meant to welcome mom to motherhood. It's a gift not an entitlement. Hosting a party where everyone is obligated to bring you presets is gift grabby and tacky. It's not an opinion because you don't like it. It's a serious Breech of etiquette. We are just saying what everyone else will say behind your back.
And plus also no one is saying people will Be offended if you assume they will buy you a present. The concept of throwing your own shower is because the above statement is true. You are saying it's okay to invite people over with the idea that they will all have to buy you a gift. That is tacky and gift grabby and why it is supposed to be thrown by a third party.
Can we please just copy and paste this on all the shower threads please? ;-)
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.
OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.
A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.
You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.
A registry is certainly not a list of items the parents intend to buy. At least it wasn't for us. Maybe you use the 10% discount to buy some stuff, but let's be honest with ourselves. You wouldn't make a registry if people weren't going to buy you things off of it. That would be like making a registry for your grocery shopping. I'm sorry, I'm not understanding all of this "people will be offended if you assume they will buy you a present" stuff. Of COURSE they want to buy you a present. We don't make a ton of $, and if my close friend is having a baby I will buy her a present off of her registry happily. We all know how this works, why make it so complicated by saying a registry isn't asking people to buy you things? That's exactly what a registry is.
@stow2009 Your wrong. A registry is supposed to be what you intend to buy. And as for making a registry for the grocery store? It's called a shopping list! I never go to the store without it because then I would only have half the ingredients I need for every dinner this week. Same idea with the registry. You put on what you decide you need. Then people can choose to buy off the list or not.
You decided you were having a baby. It's your job to provide for it. Bottom line. A shower was meant to welcome mom to motherhood. It's a gift not an entitlement. Hosting a party where everyone is obligated to bring you presets is gift grabby and tacky. It's not an opinion because you don't like it. It's a serious Breech of etiquette. We are just saying what everyone else will say behind your back.
And plus also no one is saying people will Be offended if you assume they will buy you a present. The concept of throwing your own shower is because the above statement is true. You are saying it's okay to invite people over with the idea that they will all have to buy you a gift. That is tacky and gift grabby and why it is supposed to be thrown by a third party.
Can we please just copy and paste this on all the shower threads please? ;-)
Ok, but we have to fix the first sentence. "Your wrong" is one of the most unintentionally hilarious grammatical errors a person can make. It has cracked me up every time I've read it on this thread.
I agree with @pstylez .. Do you women not have anything else better to do all day than to ridicule someone else? You can give opinions without being rude or calling anyone out for anything! There's no need to call anyone tacky or rude or greedy on here. We are all experiencing the same thing right now, and for some of us, it's the first time we have ever been through pregnancy. Some have strong family support, others, for whatever reason, do not, so are most likely seeking advice and friendship here so let's all just please be supportive of one another. If you feel the need to be catty or judgmental, go somewhere else with that.
My MIL will be hosting my baby shower but I will be picking the place, inviting people & helping plan every bit. I will also be helping with cost. I guess you could say I'm throwing mine. I've had numerous people ask when my shower is, who want to attend. Everyone who is saying inviting people to a party yourself is gift grabby, what do you call a child's Birthday party? Yes, you are celebrating that child's birth, but who would show up without a gift? I've seen mother's mad because people didn't bring gifts to a birthday party. It's the same thing. You could throw your own but I wouldn't unless you got to know your neighbors & coworkers.
I agree with @pstylez .. Do you women not have anything else better to do all day than to ridicule someone else? You can give opinions without being rude or calling anyone out for anything! There's no need to call anyone tacky or rude or greedy on here. We are all experiencing the same thing right now, and for some of us, it's the first time we have ever been through pregnancy. Some have strong family support, others, for whatever reason, do not, so are most likely seeking advice and friendship here so let's all just please be supportive of one another. If you feel the need to be catty or judgmental, go somewhere else with that.
Here is the thing. I don't understand how you would propose to tell someone not to throw their own shower, but think it's catty to say throwing your own shower is tacky and greedy. If someone asks if they should throw their own shower, should people just say "no, I don't think so," without explaining why? The tacky and greedy is the why!
Also - and I think this is typical of the people who whine about everyone being nice - this response reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between insulting someone and providing an opinion on a proposed course of action. Contrary to your assertion, NO ONE has told the OP that she is tacky and greedy. Plenty of people have said that if she chooses to throw her own shower, many people may perceive that course of action to be tacky and greedy. The latter is a direct and on point response to a request for an opinion about something someone is considering doing.
While I personally would never throw myself a shower because it's not my style, I wouldn't be upset if one of my friends threw their own and I would happily attend with gift in hand.
However, if you are afraid of offending others, I would suggest what previous posters have said and throw a party after the baby is born with the intent of meeting the baby, NOT just for gifts. If they want to come bearing gifts, even better! Good luck with everything!
@jemholo I never said don't throw your own shower. I say it someone's choice as to what they do. And there are plenty of people who said tacky. Or maybe I am confusing a similar thread. Whatever the case, there's no reason to be catty toward any individual. Please, don't respond, I'm done .
@jemholo I never said don't throw your own shower. I say it someone's choice as to what they do. And there are plenty of people who said tacky. Or maybe I am confusing a similar thread. Whatever the case, there's no reason to be catty toward any individual. Please, don't respond, I'm done .
You are misunderstanding @jemholo I believe she meant the "general you" rather than specifically you.
@jemholo I never said don't throw your own shower. I say it someone's choice as to what they do. And there are plenty of people who said tacky. Or maybe I am confusing a similar thread. Whatever the case, there's no reason to be catty toward any individual. Please, don't respond, I'm done .
1) I was asking how you would propose that anyone (the royal you, if you will) voice the opinion that someone not throw their own shower without explaining the reason for that opinion.
2) People said throwing your own shower is tacky. People did not say the OP herself is tacky.
I wouldn't do it,but I wouldn't judge you for doing it. If a friend hosted hey own shower, I'd go and happily bring her a gift from her registry. NBD. My mom lives in FL and my SIL is in MI. She threw a local party in her honor, sent pics, and shipped gifts. Don't count a shower out yet just because you've moved. GL!
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.
OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.
A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.
You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.
A registry is certainly not a list of items the parents intend to buy. At least it wasn't for us. Maybe you use the 10% discount to buy some stuff, but let's be honest with ourselves. You wouldn't make a registry if people weren't going to buy you things off of it. That would be like making a registry for your grocery shopping. I'm sorry, I'm not understanding all of this "people will be offended if you assume they will buy you a present" stuff. Of COURSE they want to buy you a present. We don't make a ton of $, and if my close friend is having a baby I will buy her a present off of her registry happily. We all know how this works, why make it so complicated by saying a registry isn't asking people to buy you things? That's exactly what a registry is.
@stow2009 Your wrong. A registry is supposed to be what you intend to buy. And as for making a registry for the grocery store? It's called a shopping list! I never go to the store without it because then I would only have half the ingredients I need for every dinner this week. Same idea with the registry. You put on what you decide you need. Then people can choose to buy off the list or not.
You decided you were having a baby. It's your job to provide for it. Bottom line. A shower was meant to welcome mom to motherhood. It's a gift not an entitlement. Hosting a party where everyone is obligated to bring you presets is gift grabby and tacky. It's not an opinion because you don't like it. It's a serious Breech of etiquette. We are just saying what everyone else will say behind your back.
And plus also no one is saying people will Be offended if you assume they will buy you a present. The concept of throwing your own shower is because the above statement is true. You are saying it's okay to invite people over with the idea that they will all have to buy you a gift. That is tacky and gift grabby and why it is supposed to be thrown by a third party.
Can we please just copy and paste this on all the shower threads please? ;-)
Ok, but we have to fix the first sentence. "Your wrong" is one of the most unintentionally hilarious grammatical errors a person can make. It has cracked me up every time I've read it on this thread.
You're so right! Lol i keep bumping on my phone and my grammar has gone down the toilet :-) whoops
@bpwife&mama didnt ask for your opinion, thanks love
Not an opinion, it's a fact LOVE. If you're having a bbq for people to come see your new baby sans gifts, you're not having a shower. Therefore perhaps your comment does nothing to help the OP. And plus also, the whole idea of a forum is to give opinions (as you tried to do for the OP). Therefore my opinion is warranted on any post created here LOVE.
@bpwife&mama didnt ask for your opinion, thanks love
Not an opinion, it's a fact LOVE. If you're having a bbq for people to come see your new baby sans gifts, you're not having a shower. Therefore perhaps your comment does nothing to help the OP. And plus also, the whole idea of a forum is to give opinions (as you tried to do for the OP). Therefore my opinion is warranted on any post created here LOVE.
This made me choke while laughing so hard! @bpwife&mama
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.
OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
I live in Miami as well and it's the norm here to host your own shower. I don't think it's tacky.. it's always been the norm.
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.
OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
I live in Miami as well and it's the norm here to host your own shower. I don't think it's tacky.. it's always been the norm.
Another Miamian and I don't know not one single person who would be tacky enough to throw there own shower. Not the norm.
I personally don't want a shower and I never have. I don't feel comfortable having a party which is essentially everyone I know (but who don't necessarily know each other) being put in a room together to play games and chit chat and where they feel obliged to bring a gift for our baby. I find it awkward, staged and forced. Especially where you sit in front of everyone and open gifts to the point of excess. I know people love to spoil babies and they do it out of the kindness of their hearts but honestly, we do not need that much stuff. Unless you are in a really dire situation, no one needs that much stuff. A baby needs clothes, formula or breast milk and a roof over it's head. That's it. We are so lucky to have enough money to provide more than those basics for our daughter, but don't need 7 thermometers and 17,000 onesies. I've said to my 4 best friends that it would be perfect to all go out for brunch and coffee and have a big catch up before I give birth so I can see them all before I go into 'newborn mode' where I won't be able to come to catch ups every other weekend anymore. Because spending quality time with the people who matter most to me is all I need and want.. and I'm sure I will spend hours in the dead of night thinking about those lovely brunch times as I desperately try to get my little girl to settle! Haha.
Re: Would love to have a baby shower.
You decided you were having a baby. It's your job to provide for it. Bottom line. A shower was meant to welcome mom to motherhood. It's a gift not an entitlement. Hosting a party where everyone is obligated to bring you presets is gift grabby and tacky. It's not an opinion because you don't like it. It's a serious Breech of etiquette. We are just saying what everyone else will say behind your back.
And plus also no one is saying people will
Be offended if you assume they will buy you a present. The concept of throwing your own shower is because the above statement is true. You are saying it's okay to invite people over with the idea that they will all have to buy you a gift. That is tacky and gift grabby and why it is supposed to be thrown by a third party.
Again, I will reiterate, OP asked for people's opinions on the matter - people gave them, it is that simple. No one is crushing her dreams and regardless of what anyone says on here, she can still choose to do whatever she chooses to do. Clearly she even questioned if it is proper etiquette to host her own or she never would have asked the question. She could always mention to one of her close friends or family members who she thinks would throw one for her, "I am bummed that I may not end up having a shower now that I moved," and see if they offer to host one for her - it is that simple!
Life and motherhood is full of far too many greater problems and stressors than "who hosted this baby shower!?" If that is your biggest concern in life than I applaud you and I am jealous.
Can we please just copy and paste this on all the shower threads please? ;-)
Also - and I think this is typical of the people who whine about everyone being nice - this response reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between insulting someone and providing an opinion on a proposed course of action. Contrary to your assertion, NO ONE has told the OP that she is tacky and greedy. Plenty of people have said that if she chooses to throw her own shower, many people may perceive that course of action to be tacky and greedy. The latter is a direct and on point response to a request for an opinion about something someone is considering doing.
TL;DR: calm down, no one is out of line here.
2) People said throwing your own shower is tacky. People did not say the OP herself is tacky.
You completely missed both of my points. Sigh.
This made me choke while laughing so hard!
@bpwife&mama