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November 2015 Moms
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Please don't judge

tugskenyonkel+1tugskenyonkel+1 member
in November 2015 Moms
At 9w+3 my hormones are in full force. I dislike everyone, and with the extreme exhaustion and zero motivation to clean my home, my children have moved very near the top of my list. I am a single working mother in college full time as well. I have three children 2, 4, and 7. Obviously the 2 and 4 year old boys are extremely messy and home any time I am. I cannot clean or do homework while they are awake because well its pointless and I am exhausted. I also cannot clean after they are asleep because my 2 year old wakes if I move away from him. I am beyond out of ideas and completely stressed.. bp of 149/107 stressed. Sorry to vent but I had to let it out..
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Re: Please don't judge

  • sla626sla626 member
    Let it go!!! Lol that's what I have been trying to do with the mess. I actually was able to clean some today, but I feel you. Can you have a family member or friend come by sometime to help keep and eye in the kids while you tidy some?
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  • BlueWaffleSpeshulBlueWaffleSpeshul member
    tugskenyonkel+1 said:

    At 9w+3 my hormones are in full force. I dislike everyone, and with the extreme exhaustion and zero motivation to clean my home, my children have moved very near the top of my list. I am a single working mother in college full time as well. I have three children 2, 4, and 7. Obviously the 2 and 4 year old boys are extremely messy and home any time I am. I cannot clean or do homework while they are awake because well its pointless and I am exhausted. I also cannot clean after they are asleep because my 2 year old wakes if I move away from him. I am beyond out of ideas and completely stressed.. bp of 149/107 stressed. Sorry to vent but I had to let it out..

    If this is true, you need to talk to your doctor. Anything over 100 on the lower number indicates hypertension, and you don't want to mess with that during pregnancy. That top number isn't good either and indicates borderline hypertension.
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  • mmk29mmk29 member
    Leave the mess! No judgement here. Give yourself a break, you clearly need one. Seriously though that blood pressure really doesn't sound good, I agree with pp about maybe trying to have a family member or friend come over for a little bit. Even if you only take a little alone time to go for a walk it may help.
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  • tugskenyonkel+1tugskenyonkel+1 member
    I had bp issues in my last successful pregnancy and it was handled with medication, but that was with a different OB. The one I have now because my old one moved doesn't like to put anyone on medication for anything and basically shut me down when I told him of the issues I am having and have had in the past. He won't even let me have tums or zantac for the heartburn.

    Unfortunately I cannot get a sitter outside of my work hours. My family is not ok with that.
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  • dmizakdmizak member
    Agree with @gumby22c, that's ridiculous. I would find a new OB ASAP!

    As far as the cleaning, my almost 3 year old has to pick up all his toys before bed, make a game out of it and at least all the clutter will be put away. :-)
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  • nursemartin7nursemartin7 member
    I would find a new OB. Bp usually gets lower in the first trimester, not higher and spikes in the third. Uncontrolled BP now is reason to be concerned, considering you have a long road to go and possibility of it getting even higher by the third. How is your family not ok with that? My husband watches our kids a lot in the evening so I can lay down after work (24 hour nausea). Sometimes your body just needs a break!
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  • amh0411712amh0411712 member
    My 2 year olds also clean up before bedtime. Your 4 and 7 year old should be at the least cleaning up their toys before bed. Other than that, just do what you can. This is only temporary.

    And I agree with the new OB PP have mentioned.
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  • mmk29mmk29 member
    Next idea, can you lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes without danger to your children? Sometimes just washing my face helps me feel better. I'm really sorry you're overwhelmed today.
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  • tugskenyonkel+1tugskenyonkel+1 member
    nursemartin7 said:

    I would find a new OB. Bp usually gets lower in the first trimester, not higher and spikes in the third. Uncontrolled BP now is reason to be concerned, considering you have a long road to go and possibility of it getting even higher by the third. How is your family not ok with that? My husband watches our kids a lot in the evening so I can lay down after work (24 hour nausea). Sometimes your body just needs a break!

    My family says they have my kids more than they can handle when keeping them while I am at work and I have managed to clean house with three kids before and while pregnant so this shouldn't be an issue this time around.
    As far as the OB goes there aren't many choices since my mother is currently in a lawsuit with the nearest hospital so I am already driving an hour for the next closest OB group. Its a pretty crappy situation.
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  • Kanne0729Kanne0729 member
    I would definitely find a new on. My ob even put me on low dose aspirin as a precaution because I developed pre eclampsia in my previous pregnancies. Something needs to be done about your high bp now or it's only going to get worse and you still have a long way to go. I would really try and see if your family could help you out a little bit so that you can get some things done, they may not like it, but what happens if you end up being put on bed rest because of your high bp then that would be even worse. Your 4 and 7 year old are plenty capable of helping you out as well, in fact, they should have chores assigned to them. Just remember too that not everything needs to get done, this is only temporary, but please take care of yourself and switch doctors so that you can get that high bp taken care of, it is not something to mess around with during pregnancy.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



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  • amh0411712amh0411712 member
    tugskenyonkel+1 said:

    nursemartin7 said:

    I would find a new OB. Bp usually gets lower in the first trimester, not higher and spikes in the third. Uncontrolled BP now is reason to be concerned, considering you have a long road to go and possibility of it getting even higher by the third. How is your family not ok with that? My husband watches our kids a lot in the evening so I can lay down after work (24 hour nausea). Sometimes your body just needs a break!

    My family says they have my kids more than they can handle when keeping them while I am at work and I have managed to clean house with three kids before and while pregnant so this shouldn't be an issue this time around.
    As far as the OB goes there aren't many choices since my mother is currently in a lawsuit with the nearest hospital so I am already driving an hour for the next closest OB group. Its a pretty crappy situation.
    I'm not sure why your mother's situation affects who you can go to/where you can deliver at. I've truly never heard of that before.
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  • nursemartin7nursemartin7 member
    That sucks! Are they refusing to see you, or are you avoiding that hospital due to the lawsuit? I would hate to see someone go to an different OB, who isn't taking their medical issues seriously, because of something like that.
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  • MayBeSomeDay16MayBeSomeDay16 member
    I'm not passing judgement, but where is the father? Can he not help out?
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  • tugskenyonkel+1tugskenyonkel+1 member
    NovemberBaby2 said:

    I'm not passing judgement, but where is the father? Can he not help out?

    He lives an hour and a half away, works full time, is in nursing school, and more than likely getting sent to Cuba soon for 9 -12 months (Navy). Both of our plates are full right now and baby is a direct result of the one night i've taken for myself in the last year. Apparently best friends shouldn't drink together.
    nursemartin7 said:

    That sucks! Are they refusing to see you, or are you avoiding that hospital due to the lawsuit? I would hate to see someone go to an different OB, who isn't taking their medical issues seriously, because of something like that.

    amh0411712 said:

    tugskenyonkel+1 said:

    nursemartin7 said:

    I would find a new OB. Bp usually gets lower in the first trimester, not higher and spikes in the third. Uncontrolled BP now is reason to be concerned, considering you have a long road to go and possibility of it getting even higher by the third. How is your family not ok with that? My husband watches our kids a lot in the evening so I can lay down after work (24 hour nausea). Sometimes your body just needs a break!

    My family says they have my kids more than they can handle when keeping them while I am at work and I have managed to clean house with three kids before and while pregnant so this shouldn't be an issue this time around.
    As far as the OB goes there aren't many choices since my mother is currently in a lawsuit with the nearest hospital so I am already driving an hour for the next closest OB group. Its a pretty crappy situation.
    I'm not sure why your mother's situation affects who you can go to/where you can deliver at. I've truly never heard of that before.
    The hospital that's closest (and my previous OB was with) almost killed my mom with a misdiagnosis and now none of my family can be seen by doctors associated with them.
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  • PaigeD27PaigeD27 member
    Given the OP updated information, I would say its time to have the 4 and 7 year old need to start chores. Picking up toys, helping with dinner and dishes. I would still try to find a new OB. Best of luck.
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  • leslie523leslie523 member
    Same boat but no kids, just mess. Don't care, feel awful. Gonna clean tonight, I tell myself at 1pm
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  • JumpingJellyBeans06JumpingJellyBeans06 member
    I have a 4 and 7 year old and I'm having to train them to do more chores. I know its hard to look after them to do the things you want them to do but it will be worth it :) Its so much better having my kids helping than doing it all my self. Even if its just small things.

    I have both of them picking up their things in their room and helping out picking up the living room. With my 7 year old- he will be 8 in a few weeks, I have him in charge of cleaning the bathroom. He is cleaning the toilet, sink, and mirrors. I watch him do it and make sure he is doing it right and of course making sure he is washing his hands. He also is in charge of putting away the clean dishes in the morning. 

    My 4 year old likes to do what he does so I have her doing other "big" girl chores. I have her straighten out the book shelves, dust and helping me with washing the dishes.

    My place isn't spotless but its manageable and less stressful for me.




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  • Pontot31Pontot31 member
    My 3 year old picks up toys before bed or they get thrown away.
    Do I them clean the house? No. But she picks up her own messes.
    She also loves helping to clean. If you make a game out of it kids will do anything. She thinks dusting is fun.
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  • amh0411712amh0411712 member
    Pontot31 said:

    My 3 year old picks up toys before bed or they get thrown away.
    Do I them clean the house? No. But she picks up her own messes.
    She also loves helping to clean. If you make a game out of it kids will do anything. She thinks dusting is fun.

    Yep, mine love to sweep. There are tons of ideas on how to make chores into a game.
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  • bbsweetbbsweet member
    Don't even sweat it hun! Try to do some when you can but I don't even have other children and I am so exhausted I have gone from a spotless home, cleaning every day to once a week when I force myself.
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  • LydianGLydianG member
    I'm just glad when other people say they aren't motivated to clean at all. I'm not a super cleaner anyways. In fact I've been called a sloppy tornado. Most of my problems would be solved by putting stuff back after I use it. Now that I'm pregnant and have all day nausea... forget it about it. 

    I bought extra laundry baskets the other day so that I could just store my clean clothes in there instead of putting them away. 
    On the plus side almost all the laundry is done, on the minus side, i'm going to be living out of clean clothes baskets until I stop feeling like this all the time. 
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