How much should I pay my mom to take care of our little one?

Vanessa226 · April 2015

My mom has offered to take care of our little one after I go back to work. I'm thrilled! I'd like to offer her payment but I don't know how much. Any suggestions?

sugarplum513 · April 2015

Before I became a SAHM we were paying $2100 a month for my daughter's daycare. I worked for the company who owned the daycare and that was with my employee discount.

If your mother does not want you to pay her directly, you could always offer to pay her car payments, cell phone bill, a spa membership, etc.

tuinstrab · April 2015

I watch a little boy every other weekend and I get paid 10 dollars an hour. You probably could get away with paying your mom less though since shes watching her grand child

ajhellmuth · April 2015

Ummmm nothing? Aren't grammas free? J/k I know you'd probably like to at least offer. ..hmmm that's a tough one I've heard so many ranges of payment for sitters! I've heard anything from $5-$18 an hour which is nuts to me unless you're pretty well off...which I obviously am not. I paid my sitter $5/hour granted she was a good friend of mine as well.

naka92 · April 2015

I think my mom would be insulted if i offered her payment for looking after her grandchild! Id not even dare to offer haha. A non issue though as she doesnt live closeby.
I did babysit for a friend a good while back, and i got €5 an hour for it.

deanna1313 · April 2015

At least $10 an hour although she'll probably not even want to take that much. I agree though. If definitely offer something. Is she leaving a job to do this?

cgummie · April 2015

My mom and my sister's MIL watch my niece. They both refuse to be paid (one is retired and the other has a wonky work schedule). She finds other ways to "pay" them. She paid to get my mom's car fixed and leaves gift cards to use for lunches while they watch the little one.

Amazing450 · April 2015

My mom had a family daycare and used to watch my first born about 6 years ago. I paid her $120 a week

nsaid4u · April 2015

I would say grandma's are free but if she needs the money or you think she expects money you should ask her how much she expects.

kmama37 · April 2015

Grandma should be free. My babysitter asks for 2$ an hour and 10 to take him to and from school. Whoever can afford to pay their sitter 10$ an hour is a crazy person and I'd love to be your new babysitter

JaqiDec04 · April 2015

A full time licensed day care in my area for an infant can be $800-1000 a month.

If that seems like too much, i watched an infant for a friend for $400 a month. Because we were friends I was allowed to take the baby with me to the grocery store and things.

My MIL watches my niece for free. You really need to talk to your mom about what she expects.

LLynde5 · April 2015

Most daycare around me average between $3-8 and hour but your baby will not have the one on one time. In house care (nanny services) averages $12-20. We don't live around family but I kinda thought Grammy was free

aiden0516 · April 2015

I think 100/week would be good to offer. Cheaper than day care, and definitely cheaper than a nanny. She may not take it, but hey-you tried!

brebouds · April 2015

Wow my area is crazy expensive for babysitting or daycare. Anywhere from 15-25 an hour. And more if you have multiple children.
I'm very lucky I have family and friends around to help out, but I also plan to at least offer to pay them. They will likely decline it though.
If I were you, I'd just ask her if she'd like to be paid and how much. Better to just be upfront with her so nobody feels they are being taken advantage of

AE15 · April 2015

My mom would be offended if I offered her money to watch her own grandchild. She plans to come from out of state and stay with us for a few months after the birth and money has never been discussed.

amberrmariee20 · April 2015

It's roughly $150 a week here in Canada ! 30/day !

jenboston22 · April 2015

I think this really depends on your family; if my mom were to babysit, I believe that she would refuse payment, as this is just what she would do (but this is irrelevant as my parents don't live near by and I will be staying home with my baby). But, if you feel the extra income will be helpful to her, I completely understand wanting to provide that (I'd want to provide it to my mom, too, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't accept it...)

As for amount to give, that's hard, too, and I think it is really dependent on your personal financial situation vs. your mother's financial situation.

Vanessa226 · April 2015

Thank you all for your input! I suspect she won't want payment. However, I'd like to at least offer. She'd be doing this 5 days a week. That's a full time job. She doesn't work and doesn't really need to. So if she turns down payment, I think I'll do what @cgummie suggested and pay her in other ways; gift cards, her gym membership, manis/pedis etc.

megewy · April 2015

I paid my friend $700 a month to watch my daughter -- grandmas should be a little cheaper than that though. I know my mom wouldn't of taken money if she lived close however maybe $500 a month?? If she/you insist on paying her

jenboston22 · April 2015

Vanessa226 said:
So if she turns down payment, I think I'll do what @cgummie suggested and pay her in other ways; gift cards, her gym membership, manis/pedis etc.

Great idea! I try to do such things with my mom, too, when I want to help her out without providing cash. Of course, now that I've sent her flowers every so often, she's been sending me flowers, too, so my plan has backfired a bit...

BbyCastillo · April 2015

I pay my babysitter 20 a day, 100 for all 5 days of the week. You can ask her politely how much she wants you to pay her for watching the little one, if she wants money from it she will give you a price, if not then you can always treat her to dinner or buy her groceries or gift her gas cards? Something she can use and benefit from? Gift cards from homegoods or bed bath and beyond...a spa day things like that. Saying "Thank You Mom!" When my mom watches my little guy she doesn't charge me But I bring her dinner or food for the house if I'm at the grocery store I'll call to ask if there's anything she needs or when we all go out I pay for her she never pays when I'm around

dchiapella · April 2015

My mom will be driving to help out a couple times a week since we both work full time and cannot afford standard child care (my area averages over $2,000 a month!!!!) and we've worked out that we will pay for gas (she lives an hour and a half away) and food while she's here. This is her first grandchild so she really wants to be there and she is so proud of us for managing on our own (we go married VERY young and become completely independent immediately) so she understands we are not in a position to be paying her hourly.

Telebell · April 2015

In our area it's 15-25/hr too. My mom and MIL probably wouldn't accept payment but also wouldn't watch our kid full time. We hired my SIL to be our nanny recently and pay her 20/hr. I would feel so guilty getting anyone to watch my kid for free, family or not. If she won't accept payment make sure to pay her in other ways- for her vacations, mani pedis, groceries? Leave a lot of "fun money" so she can do fun stuff with the baby that will make her life easier. Pay for occasional babysitting so she gets a break during the week?

You're really lucky! Enjoy it!

adcoxmt · April 2015

I told my mom we could discuss it as I will be a single mom and won't have a lot to pay her. But I assured her I would cover the cost of gas and misc things so that at the very least it won't be costing her money to take care of my child. If I'm able and she's willing I will probably pay her a little bit each week. comperable to what a babysitter may make?

tuinstrab · April 2015

Just curious why its crazy to pay someone 10 dollars an hour to watch your child? Everyone can afford different care for their kids why is paying higher amounts for child care considered crazy?

nianicho777 · April 2015

I'm paying my mom $75 a week. She watches the other gc for free so I figure that's fair.

deanna1313 · April 2015

Obviously, this is completely different based off of where you live!
I have never even heard of $2 an hour as a payment for anything let alone babysitting! I don't mean that to be rude, but that's unheard of in my area. When I was in college I worked in a daycare and also babysat a few of those kids at night here and there and was paid at least $10 an hour sometimes more. That was so long ago, too.
I'm sure if you offered even a little something like $100 a week it's better than nothing. Ask her first and feel her out. Otherwise, I don't think you're going to get a valid answer on here based off of different costs of living in different areas. Hard to believe it's so different.

millereliz13 · April 2015

tuinstrab said:
Just curious why its crazy to pay someone 10 dollars an hour to watch your child? Everyone can afford different care for their kids why is paying higher amounts for child care considered crazy?

Edit: totally need a nap. What I meant to say 2 as in daycare the cost usually equates to the quality of care. I think it's what you can afford.

lanaloulittle · April 2015

My dad and I babysit my niece and nephew when my sister is at work or its her day to work at preschool. It's not a lot for us because my dad is retired and I don't work. My sister does not pay us per say, but will often just buy us gifts or take us out to eat or something nice. While being paid for my hours would be nice, this is my sister I'm talking about and I am just happy I get to spend so much time with my niece and nephew. Plus, I'm just racking up time she will owe me in free sitting. If you feel you must pay your mom, then ask her about it. If not, surprising her with gifts every now and then is nice.

Edited to add- babysitter costs in my area are 10-20 an hour. I would sit and discuss with your mom. Offer to always pay for gas and expenses if they go do something. Like my sister pays for our zoo membership and movies when we go.

Sweet Sadie Mae · April 2015

Hmmm. My step mom and mother in law take turns watching my daughter Tuesday-Friday and I don't pay them. They don't expect it and wouldn't even take money. They are delighted to watch her and I sometimes have to fight the grandparents off on weekends for wanting to take her lol.

sbeltre · April 2015

I say offer to pay her cell bill or give her little things like mani pedi certificates and stuff. My mother in law watches our son and has never asked for anything. But we offer her things.. Even if it's a little extra grocery money

jenn2132 · April 2015

I live in southern CA and for a baby full time daycare is in the range of 150-200 a week. Nannies usually are double if not triple that. I'd much rather have a nanny but I just can't afford that even with two incomes in our home. 2100 dollars a month is so expensive I can't imagine affording that and hubby and have decent paying jobs. But if you can afford it great just not realistic for me. As far as the question at hand I think I'd offer my mom like 100 dollars a week or 300-400 a month so that is still be getting a break on price but still offering her something. What a blessing to have your mom offer though I wish I had that! I'm already stressing about daycare for this little one

MamaOwl15 · April 2015

When DS was born, DH and I were living in my parents' basement. My mom watched him for free occasionally so we could get out for a date or if DH needed to go somewhere while I was at work.

If she had watched him full-time, I would have offered to pay her, probably about $200/week, because that's what we had been quoted for daycare (which we didn't end up needing because DH hurt his back and ended up staying at home for a year). However, my MIL watches my nephew, trading off with his other grandmother, while my SIL is at work. My BIL has a job where he's out if town a lot, but he takes over when he's home. The grandmothers don't get paid in anything but baby cuddles.

adriennerose80 · April 2015

Wow, I need to move to where some of you live! You can't find daycare here for less than $2500 month and good luck finding even a teenager who will take less than $20 an hour per kid. Childcare is just way too expensive. As for grandma, it's always good to offer something, especially if she is leaving a job to help. But I don't think you have to offer the going rate in your area. I can't imagine she would want you to pay anything!

usmcrenegde01 · April 2015

I think Grandparents should be free. My parents have always watched my daughter for free, and of course I have never hesitated if my mom ever needed help in yard work or a project. My former mother in law watched my daughter for free for alittle while but then started asking for money but not at any discounted price. So it back fired on her. I found cheaper better daycare. I can see asking for money to help take them somewhere fun or to help with food but not as a job when they aren't working otherwise. It's their grandchild. I shouldn't have to pay them to spend time with their grandchild.

pkfinnerty · April 2015

My friend's dad is going to watch our son after I go back to work for the first 6 months, then he'll go to a nursery school. I'm going to pay him $200/week. I'll also leave extra money and he's going to grocery shop and cook dinner for us. I think that's invaluable!!

gerbies · April 2015

I am surprised reading the level of entitlement in some of these posts. When reading "grandparents should be free", I think folks need to take a step back and look at what your parent is being asked to do: that's like 45 hours per week (for full-time jobs) to watch your child. While it is lovely if a grandparent offers to watch for free, no one should assume that and compensation should be offered. I also read comments about how much people can't pay for child care. Why are people having children they can't afford?

amandagrider · April 2015

Where do you girls live paying that much for day care!!

Telebell · April 2015

I agree with gerbies. Whose time is free? I would never watch children for free, except as a gift, favor or trade with family/friends. Why would we expect our parents to be different? Sure you don't expect to pay them to spend time with their grandchildren, but in that case it should be on their terms. It's totally unreasonable to expect them to do it for free according to OUR schedules and needs.

bhoward1130 · April 2015

If she's offering to watch your baby then I don't think she wants any money but I would always do nice things like leave gift cards or fill their gas tank

DeidreHarr · April 2015

I would love to know where you all are paying 2100 per MONTH in childcare??? I'd assume tho, that the cost of living would be higher there, thus higher paying jobs... Here in Arkansas, 90$ a week is high... Standard is 65-75$.

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