I do agree with you @morethancottoncandy2 , if someone is willing to plan your party you should be greatful. even if it doesn't go how you wanted it, it'll still be fun, right? I think either way it's ok, as long as your not a dick about it.
I do agree with you @morethancottoncandy2 , if someone is willing to plan your party you should be greatful. even if it doesn't go how you wanted it, it'll still be fun, right? I think either way it's ok, as long as your not a dick about it.
I do agree with you @morethancottoncandy2 , if someone is willing to plan your party you should be greatful. even if it doesn't go how you wanted it, it'll still be fun, right? I think either way it's ok, as long as your not a dick about it.
I don't know, I have thrown several baby and wedding showers and I always ask the woman of honor a few important things:
1. Who do you want invited?
2. Is there a theme or color theme you would like?
3. Any games you really want to play?
4. Any games you really DON'T want to play?
5. Preference for food?
6. Anything else you just want to tell me?
It's her special day! It's not about the hosts. This was a bad call for her family not to allow some input from her.
She didn't even give them a chance, she started planning it on her own.
And while you may want the MTB's input, sometimes people like to surprise the guest of honor and not run every detail by her. If someone's close enough to you to throw you a shower, chances are they know what you like and don't like, what foods, etc.
My family didn't tell me they didn't want my help with the shower because it was gift grabby or to save my face or whatever, they just wanted to plan it themselves and not have input from me. It had nothing to do with what people thought ... They just wanted it planned their way since they were planning it which I understand! @GirlOnTheBeach
Well they were still offering a nice gesture for doing it for you. I don't think they handled their communication with you well about it but their hearts seemed to be in the right place by offering.
I don't think it's rude at all the I want grass fed beef or cupcakes. I been craving cupcakes and I chose to eat as healthy as I can. I normally don't eat meat because I'm semi vegan. The antibiotics and etc is something I don't want in my body nor my baby. I have stomache issues so I try to eat as clean as possible. Sorry if I offended anyone about my choices of eating habits.
I don't think it's rude at all the I want grass fed beef or cupcakes. I been craving cupcakes and I chose to eat as healthy as I can. I normally don't eat meat because I'm semi vegan. The antibiotics and etc is something I don't want in my body nor my baby. I have stomache issues so I try to eat as clean as possible. Sorry if I offended anyone about my choices of eating habits.
It's rude because it's like saying to someone else, "I'm coming over for dinner with a large group of friends. I want you to serve us this exact food. Whether or not it's affordable, what you want to serve, or what is easy/convenient." If you are worried about clean eating, maybe bring something for yourself and let the hosts do their thing.
I don't think it's rude at all the I want grass fed beef or cupcakes. I been craving cupcakes and I chose to eat as healthy as I can. I normally don't eat meat because I'm semi vegan. The antibiotics and etc is something I don't want in my body nor my baby. I have stomache issues so I try to eat as clean as possible. Sorry if I offended anyone about my choices of eating habits.
It's not at all rude. The shower I'm throwing in two weeks for a mom of twins will have no chicken, salads, or onions because they make her sick. It will have lots of finger-foods and tortellini because that's what she wants. I am so happy she told me, because now she can actually enjoy and eat at her own shower. Of course, she asked very kindly, but I'm assuming you did the same.
I don't think it's rude at all the I want grass fed beef or cupcakes. I been craving cupcakes and I chose to eat as healthy as I can. I normally don't eat meat because I'm semi vegan. The antibiotics and etc is something I don't want in my body nor my baby. I have stomache issues so I try to eat as clean as possible. Sorry if I offended anyone about my choices of eating habits.
It's rude because it's like saying to someone else, "I'm coming over for dinner with a large group of friends. I want you to serve us this exact food. Whether or not it's affordable, what you want to serve, or what is easy/convenient." If you are worried about clean eating, maybe bring something for yourself and let the hosts do their thing.
Yup. And semi vegan eating grass fed beef? Nope, that's not completely ridiculous.
I'm planning my own shower because it's what I want. I have visions and specific things I want. My mother knows how I am and knows to let me plan how I want because I will not be happy with what she would plan. She's in her late 40's which means she would go with an old school plain pink theme when I'm 24 and want something new and fresh like aqua and coral. She doesn't argue with me about it because she wants ME to be happy with MY one and only baby shower. My MIL has offered to help with paying for things and decorating. I think she gets the vibe too of what I want is what's going to happen. It's not rude. It's your life. Stop worrying about if other people think its rude because at the end of the day, you're the one who will have these memories about your baby shower. If it's not what you wanted will you be happy? No. If someone doesn't like it, tough shit. They can Gtf over it.
And before anyone says "that's what's wrong with the generation nowadays" because it may seem like I'm being rude, ungrateful or all about me, I go above and beyond EVERY SINGLE DAY for people I don't even know to care for them because I am in nursing school to become a registered nurse. I treat my patients with the utmost respect and dignity. I put my child's life and my life at risk to serve those in need. I even do this with my family and friends.
So when it comes to something for my only baby shower, I do expect to have what I want because I want to be happy as well as my family and friends want me to be happy.
Of course I was nice about it and everyone can say what they want. It's by no means rude at all for what I need. I was semi vegan before I was pregant and it's not ridiculous that I wan grass fed beef now that I am pregant. I eat as much meat now since I became pregnant and I eat grass fed or regular , I just want a special day because it's all about love and happiness . Plus, I'm not making special recommendations just for myself but also my vegan and gluten friends and family. Thank you to the other ladies who understand and not being cynical or judge mental. At times I notice people on the bump are too judge mental and critical of others . Aren't we supposed to bring each other up without knocking people down? Anyways, I'm done with this and wish everyone well.
I personally don't think you are out of line. You started to plan something that they didn't want anything to do with. You even said you offered to help pay. So you should have some say. It is a day about your baby and you and your husband it's only right that they should listen to what you like.
I am a control freak by nature, so when my mom and sister started to plan mine I had to have a say. I know that not all of my suggestions have/will make it to the baby shower but I'm lucky enough that they are listening. At first they wanted it all to be a surprise, and I talked to them and explained that it I would go nuts not knowing what was going on. Maybe if you talk to your in-laws and let them know that the ideas on your Pinterest board are from before they started planning, and you just thought it would be helpful maybe they would ease off the negativity.
Sorry you are having such a rough time with it all. Hope your pregnancy is going great otherwise!
Anyone else feel like these ones just don't get it? Excuses excuses... It's still rude. I'm not going to keep going on this. So, those that decide to forego etiquette, go ahead and make your excuses for why its okay to feel entitled or whatever. Why you deserve your very special day the way you want it (like a little girl stomping her feet at her birthday party because it's "her special day" and she wants it her way). Sadly, the days of women being truly gracious and humble are quickly dying out so I'll stand by my previous comment and just leave it here and be done. "Times have changed a lot, but the quality of being gracious is timeless and seems to be getting lost in this 'you do you' kind of society we are turning into."
@ girl on the beach: I guess I'm rude. You don't know me an frankly get over it! By you saying that I'm some little girl stomping my feet , really is quite ridiculous . If I get what I want I get it and if I don't then I don't because the shower is about me, my partner and baby. Honestly, I feel bad that you have to be so judge mental and cynical . Difference in opinions is fine but saying I'm not humble or what not is not your place to say because I am humble. I don't have to prove Anything to you or anyone that I am rude or not.
@ girl on the beach: I guess I'm rude. You don't know me an frankly get over it! By you saying that I'm some little girl stomping my feet , really is quite ridiculous . If I get what I want I get it and if I don't then I don't because the shower is about me, my partner and baby. Honestly, I feel bad that you have to be so judge mental and cynical . Difference in opinions is fine but saying I'm not humble or what not is not your place to say because I am humble. I don't have to prove Anything to you or anyone that I am rude or not.
So stop trying to prove it then. I didn't specifically mention you but find it interesting that you felt my comment applied to you. I very clearly stated that I would not pursue any further argument on what qualifies as rude or not.
Also, please stop writing "judge mental" it's "judgmental." The other way makes me picture a crazy Judge Judy or something.
You been replying to my post from what I see on my page, sooooo that's why I'm replying. And I can't change my word choices on my cell, or I would spell it correctly . Have a good day!!! Bless you:)
You been replying to my post from what I see on my page, sooooo that's why I'm replying. And I can't change my word choices on my cell, or I would spell it correctly . Have a good day!!! Bless you:)
I was never rude towards you. I simply explained why people may find that request rude. I used no sarcasm or insults in my reply to you about the dietary requests and I even offered a simple solution to give you an option that would be easier for your hosts to manage.
It was after that when you began your passive aggressive comments about people being "judge mental" (I'm on my cell too and it has no problem spelling judgmental, but whatever) of you and started complaining about others on the bump. I did not quote you in my previous comment but you sure had no problem trying to call me "judge mental" and cynical. I never once insulted you but you sure came at me when you thought that my generalization could apply to you. Go back and just read my first reply to you and you'll see there was nothing malicious there. No reason to blow up and be so judgmental towards me. Keep your blessings, I'm fine without them. And I will have a fine day I'm sure.
Wow ! If that's the case I'm sorry. By no means I want friction. And I'm not phone savy and don't know how to change the spelling error on my cell. Maybe I'm lazy lol who knows. Thanks for the help and again have a nice day!
I don't think it's rude at all the I want grass fed beef or cupcakes. I been craving cupcakes and I chose to eat as healthy as I can. I normally don't eat meat because I'm semi vegan. The antibiotics and etc is something I don't want in my body nor my baby. I have stomache issues so I try to eat as clean as possible. Sorry if I offended anyone about my choices of eating habits.
Darlin, there is no such thing as "semi-vegan". You either eat animals and/or their byproducts or you don't. Vegans eat neither. A cow that is grass feed is vegan. The person who eats said cow is not!
I don't think it's rude at all the I want grass fed beef or cupcakes. I been craving cupcakes and I chose to eat as healthy as I can. I normally don't eat meat because I'm semi vegan. The antibiotics and etc is something I don't want in my body nor my baby. I have stomache issues so I try to eat as clean as possible. Sorry if I offended anyone about my choices of eating habits.
Darlin, there is no such thing as "semi-vegan". You either eat animals and/or their byproducts or you don't. Vegans eat neither. A cow that is grass feed is vegan. The person who eats said cow is not!
Yes, this!! Saying "I'm a semi-vegan" is just saying "I'm a really finicky eater." Also, specifically asking for grass fed beef is rude because it's more expensive. I can't even think of a shower I've been to that's had a beef dish. If you only eat grass fed beef, a way to be less obnoxious about it would have been to say no beef.
Your right to want your first baby shower to be perfect and everything you dreamed. I have in-laws that hate me so there is no chance of them offering to through me anything, but this happened with my bridal shower. My advice to you is to take them to lunch and tell them how you feel about this special day and that you are excited that they want to honor you by throwing the shower. Ask them their oppinons on the shower and compromise. The more you praise them for their kindness the more they will be willing to do things your way. Ask them how you can help... Money, decorations, food? Then suggest what it is that is most important to you. If all else fails then aske a friend to help them and tell your sisters that your friend really would like to join in on planing and ask your friend to be your advocate. Hope some of the long post helps you good luck and congratulations!!!!
Your right to want your first baby shower to be perfect and everything you dreamed. I have in-laws that hate me so there is no chance of them offering to through me anything, but this happened with my bridal shower. My advice to you is to take them to lunch and tell them how you feel about this special day and that you are excited that they want to honor you by throwing the shower. Ask them their oppinons on the shower and compromise. The more you praise them for their kindness the more they will be willing to do things your way. Ask them how you can help... Money, decorations, food? Then suggest what it is that is most important to you. If all else fails then aske a friend to help them and tell your sisters that your friend really would like to join in on planing and ask your friend to be your advocate. Hope some of the long post helps you good luck and congratulations!!!!
A shower is not a wedding. People actually dream of their perfect baby shower? Way too much importance on such an event. It's not that special of a day. It's just a shower.
It's extremely rude to tell someone "well, what you are planning isn't going to be good enough for me. Here's some money and make it better." Or asking someone else to contribute...just no. A shower is a gift.
I'm planning my own shower because it's what I want. I have visions and specific things I want. My mother knows how I am and knows to let me plan how I want because I will not be happy with what she would plan. She's in her late 40's which means she would go with an old school plain pink theme when I'm 24 and want something new and fresh like aqua and coral. She doesn't argue with me about it because she wants ME to be happy with MY one and only baby shower. My MIL has offered to help with paying for things and decorating. I think she gets the vibe too of what I want is what's going to happen. It's not rude. It's your life. Stop worrying about if other people think its rude because at the end of the day, you're the one who will have these memories about your baby shower. If it's not what you wanted will you be happy? No. If someone doesn't like it, tough shit. They can Gtf over it.
And before anyone says "that's what's wrong with the generation nowadays" because it may seem like I'm being rude, ungrateful or all about me, I go above and beyond EVERY SINGLE DAY for people I don't even know to care for them because I am in nursing school to become a registered nurse. I treat my patients with the utmost respect and dignity. I put my child's life and my life at risk to serve those in need. I even do this with my family and friends.
So when it comes to something for my only baby shower, I do expect to have what I want because I want to be happy as well as my family and friends want me to be happy.
Your should always treat your patients with dignity, respect and provide the best care possible. But you know what? That should transcend to everyone else in your life as well. We don't get to go be wonderful caring nurses at work and then come home and be asshats to the ones we love. Your mother, father, SO, your friends, your shower guests all deserve the same respect. Just because you show your patients what angel you are does not absolve you in all other areas of your life. And one could go so far as to say who are you really?
And because I have to ask. How do you have time to micromanage a shower while in nursing school? I didn't have time to wash my clothes to the point I was buying new underwear just so I could prolong the time between laundry day as long as possible.
And another thing you're going to be nurse. We battle with life and death everyday. How on earth can you get all worked up over something as trivial as a shower and it not being exactly as you want? If nothing else I have learned being a nurse that life is a gift. The people in your life who want to celebrate you are gifts! I just can't wait to see those nearest and dearest to me, spending time with them. I don't care about themes or food or even gifts or games. These are the people who will love and care for my girl if the worst should happen to me. What a blessing to have them all there in one place to celebrate with me.
I deal with people who think I'm rude all the time about my dietary needs . I say I'm semi vegan because I have Crohn's disease . Before I was pregnant I didn't eat much meat but only if I had too due to my iron levels. And there is such a thing as being partial vegetarian or semi vegan , please look it up. There are varieties !!! Anyways, this is my choice and I asked my host and others if I should help pay or bring food !!! plus I have a lot of different people who are "picky "and will be at the shower. I like to accommodate others and as well as me! No one is butt hurt or calling me rude. This is a special occasion for all and not just me, baby, or my partner. It's all about love!!!! Laughter !!!
Re: In-laws being ridiculous!
And before anyone says "that's what's wrong with the generation nowadays" because it may seem like I'm being rude, ungrateful or all about me, I go above and beyond EVERY SINGLE DAY for people I don't even know to care for them because I am in nursing school to become a registered nurse. I treat my patients with the utmost respect and dignity. I put my child's life and my life at risk to serve those in need. I even do this with my family and friends.
So when it comes to something for my only baby shower, I do expect to have what I want because I want to be happy as well as my family and friends want me to be happy.
I am a control freak by nature, so when my mom and sister started to plan mine I had to have a say. I know that not all of my suggestions have/will make it to the baby shower but I'm lucky enough that they are listening. At first they wanted it all to be a surprise, and I talked to them and explained that it I would go nuts not knowing what was going on. Maybe if you talk to your in-laws and let them know that the ideas on your Pinterest board are from before they started planning, and you just thought it would be helpful maybe they would ease off the negativity.
Sorry you are having such a rough time with it all. Hope your pregnancy is going great otherwise!
"Times have changed a lot, but the quality of being gracious is timeless and seems to be getting lost in this 'you do you' kind of society we are turning into."
Also, please stop writing "judge mental" it's "judgmental." The other way makes me picture a crazy Judge Judy or something.
It was after that when you began your passive aggressive comments about people being "judge mental" (I'm on my cell too and it has no problem spelling judgmental, but whatever) of you and started complaining about others on the bump. I did not quote you in my previous comment but you sure had no problem trying to call me "judge mental" and cynical. I never once insulted you but you sure came at me when you thought that my generalization could apply to you. Go back and just read my first reply to you and you'll see there was nothing malicious there. No reason to blow up and be so judgmental towards me. Keep your blessings, I'm fine without them. And I will have a fine day I'm sure.
And because I have to ask. How do you have time to micromanage a shower while in nursing school? I didn't have time to wash my clothes to the point I was buying new underwear just so I could prolong the time between laundry day as long as possible.
And another thing you're going to be nurse. We battle with life and death everyday. How on earth can you get all worked up over something as trivial as a shower and it not being exactly as you want? If nothing else I have learned being a nurse that life is a gift. The people in your life who want to celebrate you are gifts! I just can't wait to see those nearest and dearest to me, spending time with them. I don't care about themes or food or even gifts or games. These are the people who will love and care for my girl if the worst should happen to me. What a blessing to have them all there in one place to celebrate with me.