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Huge baby shower...Question about gifts

stow2009stow2009 member
in August 2015 Moms
My mom and best friends are co-hosting a baby shower for me, which is the only one I will have. So, it includes family, friends, co-workers who I'm close to, bible study...you get the picture. It's gonna be big. Like probably 50-60 women. Plus, my mom is inviting some women who she works with who are just excited and want to be there (I'm totally fine with it- the more the merrier, and they will bring gifts!). 

Anyway, here is my dilemna. I have been to a shower with around 40 people, and it took literally 1.5 hours to open her presents. I wouldn't even say she was going slowly. The shower is only 2.5 hours, and I don't want to spend 2 hours of it opening gifts, let alone put my guests through that. I also don't want to spend the time doing it while I could be spending time with my friends and family who travelled to be with me. 

We are asking everyone to bring an unwrapped book with a note to baby girl (instead of a card). My mom suggested we tell everyone we will be opening gifts that evening with my husband and immediate family only, but everyone could gather while I go through each book and recognize the giver. Plus, she was thinking we could ask them why they chose that book and how they know me. I think this would still take an hour, but at least would cut the time in half. 

I plan to let everyone know that if they want me to open their gift before they leave (it needs explanation, etc.), to just let me know and I would be happy to. 

Thoughts on this? Has anyone been to a shower where gifts were not opened? 
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Re: Huge baby shower...Question about gifts

  • jemholojemholo member
    I went to a shower recently where they didn't open gifts. They made an announcement that they weren't going to make us all sit through the gift processional, but that if anyone wanted to see the mother-to-be open their gift they could grab it and bring it to her at any time. I had her open mine because I'd made it and I wanted to see her reaction! It was a happy medium - we didn't have to sit through an hour of gift openings, but people who wanted to see their gift opened got to. The shower was big, but had a very laid back open house feel as a result. You might consider something like that, either with an announcement or a sign on the gift table.
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  • WeringWering member
    Honestly, I don't care about the opening of gifts, but that's because I tend to buy the practical things. I do know that a lot of women, specifically in what is probably our mother's generation, prefer to see their gifts opened and would probably be offended if they weren't. Maybe ask a handful of invitees what their preference would be?

    My baby shower had 65 people and presents took about 2 hours. We tried to break it up by serving cake 1/3 of the way through the presents and doing a gender reveal about 2/3 through. People who had to leave early were asked to point out their gift so we could open it in front of them. 

    If you do choose to open presents, the key is to KEEP MOVING. Open, praise gift, thank giver, move on. Have someone who is able to quickly hand presents and then another to quickly move them away. 
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  • mbszafranskimbszafranski member
    I attended a shower where they requested the gifts be wrapped in cellophane so as guests arrived the mom could look and see what the gift was, say thank you, but not make everybody watch or take up any additional time other than greeting the guests. It worked well and I felt it was a happy medium.
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  • lizzieriderlizzierider member
    We are Military so are traveling literally across the country home for our baby shower next week. We are already recieving gifts in the mail. What we get at the actual shower I won't open until later on that night because it's a co-ed shower and many kids are also attending. We don't get to see family & friends often so I don't want to waste the time making them sit and watch us open gifts. I want to socialize.
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  • stow2009stow2009 member
    Thanks for the input! I actually think we will consider the cellophane thing! So the book thing is really tacky? Maybe it's a regional thing, but most of the showers I go to request this with an inscription to baby inside. I always bring the same book (Swimmy by Leo Leonni), and it costs me $8 from our local bookstore. 

    I don't know, I'm wondering if I should just bite the bullet and open all the gifts at the shower. Like you mentioned, @Wering the key would be to keep them moving. Have someone assigned to trash duty, tracking gifts for Thank Yous, and grabbing opened gifts. Eek, even if they take only 2 minutes each it's going to take 2 hours. I'm totally at a loss. 
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  • ambercdcambercdc member
    I think a lot of people are offended or disappointed if you don't open gifts at the shower. Serving dessert during is a great idea
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  • sushilove15sushilove15 member
    I am also having a large shower with about 60 people attending. Guests have been asked to ship gifts to my house of they buy from the registry. We will not be opening gifts and it will be a luncheon. People typically don't want to sit through all that anyways, it's a lot more fun to socialize and catch up.
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  • voldem0rtvoldem0rt member
    I mean, the book thing isn't a huge deal to me personally but I've seen a lot of people label it as tacky in discussions about shower etiquette. I guess because guests are already bringing a gift & asking for a book instead of a card is like asking for another gift on top of what they already bought.
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  • stow2009stow2009 member
    voldem0rt said:

    I mean, the book thing isn't a huge deal to me personally but I've seen a lot of people label it as tacky in discussions about shower etiquette. I guess because guests are already bringing a gift & asking for a book instead of a card is like asking for another gift on top of what they already bought.

    Ahh, I guess I could see that! 
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  • morbid007morbid007 member
    I understand the book idea. Most cards now are $5+ and get thrown away. At least with a book it's money well spent, and something that can be kept for a long time.
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  • mrswiebe09mrswiebe09 member
    I like the book idea as well. Like pp said, you can buy a book that will last a long time for about the same price as a nice card nowadays.
    I gave the idea of not opening gifts til later to my friend who is throwing me the shower and she was like No Open Them! I have no idea how many ppl will be at my shower, but since this is baby #2 I don't plan on registering for a lot, even though this is a girl and my two y.o. is a boy. We got fairly gender neutral stuff with him so we could use it later if we had a girl.
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  • sarahmu7sarahmu7 member
    I've gone to display baby showers. I thought that was great. Every give gets a name tag and they are put on display for everyone to see. This way, all the cute baby clothes don't get hidden away.
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  • stow2009stow2009 member
    sarahmu7 said:

    I've gone to display baby showers. I thought that was great. Every give gets a name tag and they are put on display for everyone to see. This way, all the cute baby clothes don't get hidden away.

    Can you explain how this worked? Did people bring gifts unwrapped and put them on a table? What was it like as a guest? 
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  • sarahmu7sarahmu7 member
    I was a guest. Everyone brought their gift unwrapped. A few of the mom to be ' s friends had cute little tags where they wrote the guests name on the front and a brief description of the gift on the back (incase gift and tag got separated) and taped them to each gift. Some people don't like display showers, but I love them. They leave more time for socializing. I like to get a lot of little things and make a basket to display.
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  • jakesjessjakesjess member
    morbid007 said:

    I understand the book idea. Most cards now are $5+ and get thrown away. At least with a book it's money well spent, and something that can be kept for a long time.

    One thing our generation fails at is spending time focused on our little ones. We are busy! I love the book idea because it places emphasis on quiet time that also enhances development--plus it's a permanent reminder! I love this idea!!! I went to a shower and watched for over 2 hours as she opened gifts,...good lord it was too long. I think the option is cool, because the older ladies do like to watch. But I could care less when she opens it.
    This all makes me think of my own shower! So many decisions to make
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  • babywhaley17babywhaley17 member
    My SIL is throwing me a coed baby shower and will likely be 40-50 people. We are asking guests to bring their gifts unwrapped ( saving them $ on bags/paper) and will display them on a table. If I see some personally made gifts or things picked out not from the registry, I plan on making it a point to personally thank that gift giver at the shower. I know the guys/kids will NOT want to sit through opening gifts and the majority of women won't either! Everyone would much rather spend time socializing and partying!

    Also- we are doing the book idea and I don't think it's tacky at all. There are plenty of cute poems that suggest guests being used books, etc which can be free or less than $1 at used book store. Much more useful than $5 cards that will be thrown away
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  • sschwegesschwege member
    I think if people took the time to pick out the gifts they should be opened at the shower.  I would do an assembly line deal, have someone be in charge of bringing you the gift (they could also cut ribbon, open the envelope for the card if there is one, etc), someone else to write down the gift and the giver and a third to take the gift and repackage it.  It should move pretty quickly that way.  Also serve dessert and perhaps have a game of Gift Bingo going.  The guests will talk and what-not while you are opening, it will be fine. 

    That being said i have been to one shower where the MTB did not open gifts and it was a little odd.  It seemed like people kept lingering until they were told they had to leave (restaurant) because they were waiting for the gifts. 
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  • pabeybabypabeybaby member
    If you plan on reading to your child, there is nothing wrong with asking for books! That's what I think.
    Also, you could possibly announce that if people don't want to hang around for the entire shower, you could have them move their gifts toward the front of the line so to speak, that way they can leave early if need be.
    And maybe have an activity for the smaller children to do, if there will be any there. At a couple showers I've been to, small children kept interrupting the gift opening and trying to get into the gifts. I know they're young and excited, but also there was nothing for them to do.
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  • jesicabrennanjesicabrennan member
    Apparently I'm in the minority here but I would 100% NOT open all those gifts during the shower. And as a guest I can imagine few things more boring than watch someone open 60 gifts!!! Skip it! Surely anyone in attendance would understand why gift opening wasn't part of the party when they see the sheer number of gifts!
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  • stow2009stow2009 member
    Wow, seriously THANK YOU ladies so, so much! I talked to my mom and I think we are going to do the Display Shower someone mentioned, where everyone brings gifts unwrapped along with a book (used is great!) inscribed to our little girl. We don't have any kids' books, so I'm really looking forward to having these to cherish forever. 

    I found a great blog describing Display Showers in case you are wondering about doing this yourself: https://thecreativeconsultant.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/how-to-pull-off-a-display-shower/

    I think this is fun because then people can look at all the gifts, pick them up, etc., and no one has to worry about finding awesome wrapping for their gift (that can be a lot of pressure for me, at least). 

    Yay!! 
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  • MrsCeballosMrsCeballos member
    I am in this same situation. We are having a Co Ed shower because both my husbands family and mine are 90% men who are very excited about our little man to come.

    We are having one shower with family, friends, CO workers, ect. The list is up to 50-75 people. I worry about the present opening portion as well with that many people. I am looking into all options including having the hubby open gifts with me so we are opening two presents at a time. Hopefully shaving some time off.

    I like the idea of doing it towards the end, and if anyone needs to leave early I am happy to open there present while they are there and recognize it.
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  • J&D2007J&D2007 member
    We are going to be having a large shower as well and I do think people expect the gifts to be opened. Ours is an outdoor BBQ type party and I fully expect no one to sit there and watch me open all of the gifts. We will probably open some for a bit as people wander around and play, eat, etc., then take a break and socialize, then do more, etc. Our wedding shower was like this too. Some of the elders sat and watched but most people wandered around and socialized and ate and drank and watched when their present was up so they could watch.
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  • rashelburnerashelburne member
    I don't think the book thing is tacky. I worked in a store making custom invitations for five years and if I had to estimate I'd say that about half of 3/4 of the shower invites I created asked for a book in lieu of a card. Moms-to-be, grandmothers, and shower guests all expressed how much they loved the idea, especially since cards aren't much cheaper than a board book. I've actually stared using books instead of a card even when it's not requested. You'll still have people but cards or a book as well as a card. I've never heard of anyone feeling obligated to get the book if they're really big in cards. If say if it's that common where you live as well, then you should have an issue insulting someone.
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  • ittybittybaker09ittybittybaker09 member
    I absolutely disagree that the book thing is tacky. We have requested it for our shower because we are doing a book themed nursery. Some cards cost as much as $6 a piece and they can get a book for that easily.

    At my shower hosted by my step mom I know that gifts will be opened. At my hispanic shower some will probably be opened and some will not. It's going to be a diaper shower for the men and then just a bbq.
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  • dkizz82dkizz82 member
    Good question. My shower in my home town will be huge. We're inviting 150 people. A lot will come. I haven't even thought about gift opening
    We might have it where I open as people come in or have the hostesses open for me. I HATE being the center of attention. :/
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  • kedbachkedbach member
    My bridal shower was like this, so I totally get it! Some people may be offended that you do not open their gift, others will not care. Why don't you make it like a game? Everyone gets a sticky number when they enter the door and they stick it on the gift and the other goes in a basket. Explain that it's for gift opening and that your mom or whomever is hosting the shower will draw 20 numbers (or so) and those are the gifts you will be opening, to ensure you have ample time to socialize with everyone! **plus maybe exclude your immediate family's gifts since you can open those with them present later!**
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  • kedbachkedbach member
    It astounds me at how rude some people are! She was asking for advice, you don't have to throw your own beliefs in and bash hers. I think whatever you choose to do will be great, you're the mom-to-be and it's your day!
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  • mrsb30mrsb30 member
    If people are coming to "hang out and socialize" then don't have gifts problem solved. Let's not fool ourselves, people don't come to baby showers to hang out, they come with the purpose of bringing the mother a gift and yes socializing is part of that. The least we can do is open their gifts and thank them for them. I'm shocked people are suggesting to not open them. It comes with the territory of shower, people are expecting to sit through gift opening.
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  • cookiedough22cookiedough22 member
    edited April 2015
    morbid007 said:

    I understand the book idea. Most cards now are $5+ and get thrown away. At least with a book it's money well spent, and something that can be kept for a long time.

    That might be true, but if I'm buying a $30 gift then I usually get a 99 cent card or a gift bag with a tag attached. I don't usually buy expensive cards for events like this.
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