June 2015 Moms

8months pregnant and feel alone

anyone every feel so alone during a pregnancy like your spouse isn't even there

Re: 8months pregnant and feel alone

  • I haven't personally felt that way, but with my training in birth education, I know that men deal with becoming fathers in different, sometimes hard to understand ways. He may be struggling with some things internally that he doesn't know how to express to you. Since we get to feel the baby move and our bodies change, we have 9 months to prepare ourselves. Sometimes guys feel like they are missing out on something or that they are unable to connect with the baby until they are here.
    I would recommend trying to talk to him without pushing him on it. And give him grace that he may just not know how to express how he's feeling.
    I'm sorry you feel alone. This is an exciting time and you should have someone to share that with. Do you have anyone else close to you to share some of the excitement with, like mom, sister or best friend?
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  • Sometimes. But I think PP has it right, men aren't usually ones to express themselves as it is normally, and this is probably a time which they feel just as stressed as us, but struggle to express it. Or feel that if they do try to talk about it, it makes them 'less of a man'. Open up a dialogue to ask him how he is feeling, maybe share a couple of your fears that he seems detached, but don't hoard the conversation, and realize he may not be able to talk about it as willingly as you did. You know your man, you're going to have to watch for those cues (verbal and non verbal) that he is engaged in the conversation
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  • I really feel like men experience pregnancy different than we do... in all ways! My husband didn't really "feel" much of anything until he was starting to see my little bump growing and then it kind of became more real to him... and then when he was able to start feeling kicks. I try to engage him and engage the baby by saying things like "1 cookie for you, 1 cookie for me, and 1 cookie for baby" ... ok so maybe I just want an extra cookie but it's good to laugh at and it helps us connect with the baby together. It's also helped that I've really kept him involved with buying things and making him put together furniture-- "father nesting". 

    Just keep an open mind and understand that it's a completely different experience for the father than it is for us. 
    Married: 28 August 2014
    BFP #1: 11 October 2014
    EDD: 22 June 2015 -- updated DD: 20 June 2015


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