petrified to give birth

Htheo · April 2015

First baby and far i couldnt have had a better pregnancy! (7w4d) im terrified to give birth. any one else?

Amstreagle · April 2015

You will be fine. I'm really weird and loved giving birth.
I had an epidural so I had only a little pain and after you get to hold your beautiful new baby. I loved being taken care of in the hospital too.
I personally think the sleep deprivation afterwards is way worse than the birth.

Htheo · April 2015

i have had horrible cramps with every period for over 15 years and plan on epidural but im thinking since i can handle those pains i should be able to handle contractions but who knows. just really scared

lulamagoo · April 2015

The good news, labor and birth can only last a certain amount of time. (It depends on your risk factors and the practice you go to)

Had a vaginal birth on pitocin with no pain meds. I am a red head, we supposedly do not have a high pain threshold. While it was uncomfortable and painful, it was not excruciating. If you go unmedicated, you kind of go into a zone.
If you get an epidural then hopefully it takes the edge off.

I wouldn't worry to much about labor and delivery. That part only lasts a few days. The first 6 months of being a mom were way harder in my opinion.

efrizz · April 2015

Um I would say go to what you can handle but it's nobody's birth Experience but your own. My first was brutal and a lot of it was going by the book and listening to other people's ideas of what was right. The second time around smaller baby but I may have told a nurse to go pound sand I'd push how my body told me to do it. Third time the kid was almost 9 pounds. Did my own thing and it was also pretty stress free. It'll be ok just think you will likely have this baby in a hospital and not biting down on a stick in a bush somewhere

unless that's what you want to do.

oliarnmom1517 · April 2015

I plan on natural birth when my baby gets here..the thought of it terrifies me but I don't like needles...I threw up when they drew blood for goodness sack..but I think once the time comes I'll be ok and not be scared but when I really think about it..I'm terrified

DiademChi · April 2015

Your body is made to handle it. I had no pain meds and a natural birth with my first. It was a great experience, despite the uncomfortable parts.

I really recommend you listen to some of the Hypnobabies or Hynobirth CDs. They help guide you to meditate and relax, to concentrate on breathing and inward focus. People use similar techniques (who are allergic to anaesthesia) use it for surgery. It really does wonders. I have found that many other things in life are more physically painful than childbirth. Granted, every pregnancy is different, but you have plenty more reasons to relax and trust yourself to handle it.

poprockS17 · April 2015

Don't freak out about it until it's closer to time. I totally freak out every time I think about it but like stated in other posts, it lasts a short time on comparison to the rest of your pregnancy and after

positive thinking until it's time to freak out for all of us!

LSRoo · April 2015

I delivered a 10 lb baby with no epidural or pain meds. It was painful but tolerable. I made it and I am having another so it couldn't have been too bad! You'll be fine. You will surprise yourself.

Jame414 · April 2015

Everyone feels this way the first time! I think it's more the fear of the unknown. However, 2.4 is avg number kids so women are willing to do it again and again! That has to be comforting.

I had not the ideal first birth experience but came out of it fine and my only thought when I got to hold my LO was that was so worth it!

Pontot31 · April 2015

The thing is while labor might last 10-15 hours it's not a constant pain. You get breaks in between. It might be only for a minute, but enough to catch your breath. And I would say it's more extremely intense pressure than the pain you experience when injured.
Plus in the end you get an amazing prize and it's totally worth it

mchmadre · April 2015

I went all natural and I loved it. Contractions weren't fun for 12 hours but the actual delivery was great for me. I'm so excited

LizQ2 · April 2015

My first baby was a surprise pregnancy. I was 21 and in no way ready to be a mom. I was terrified to give birth the entire pregnancy. I got induced and got an epidural once the pain became really intense. The epidural was amazing and I felt no pain after that. Regardless of being pain free, I damn near had a panic attack when they told me it was time to push. I was young and so scared it would start hurting when I pushed, but it didn't.

I got through it just like countless women had before me and the second I saw my daughter the fear and anxiety vanished. Giving birth is tough but it was not nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. I seriously thought it was going to be the worst thing ever. I chose to have another and go through it again and here I am pregnant a third time and not even remotely scared to do it all again.

My long winded point is...you'll be fine. It's normal to be terrified of giving birth but you will get through it and you will be so proud of yourself when you do.

helsbels222 · April 2015

I was terrified of labor throughout my first pregnancy. Everything went smooth then at 34 weeks my water broke and at the hospital they were going to give me pitocin when DS's heart rate dropped so they whisked me away for an emergency-c. I was knocked out during delivery and woke up an hour later and got to meet my baby. It was easy peasy. I hope I didn't scare anyone. It was frightening after when I realized what had happened but I think it happened that way for a reason. Ironically, I was so afraid of labor and then I didn't get to really experience it. After you hold your LO, you forget the morning sickness, sore boobies, backpain, nausea, and any bad experience you had. It's all worth it.

poprockS17 · April 2015

Noooooooooooo! I have red hair! That's not fair!

przemosbabe · April 2015

Women have been doing this since the beginning of time. We can too!!!

mattymom · April 2015

This is my 4th and I am now way more petrified of pregnancy then of labor and delivery. Labor can only last so long and then it's over. Pregnancy lasts 9 long months and I'm miserable for most of it.

mattymom · April 2015

lhughes8412 said:
Noooooooooooo! I have red hair! That's not fair!

That isn't necessarily true, I have red hair and I have a fairly high pain tolerance. My last baby was natural and made it through no problem. The thing they do watch for red heads in the hospital is that they tend to bleed out more then other people.

poprockS17 · April 2015

That is much scarier to me than having low pain tolerance... Yikes. I watch too much Grey's Anatomy

fitmomma1989 · April 2015

I was the same with my 1st pregnancy. I was SO scared for delivery & I ended up having the EASIEST delivery ever. Like seriously, it was no big deal. Now ... Breastfeeding on the other hand ..........

scw89 · April 2015

I'm petrified as well, but I'm more petrified of a C-Section because I have an anxiety disorder and the thought of being awake during surgery gives me a panic attack....

Htheo · April 2015

I have suffered from extreme anxiety for 13 years. definitely makes it more difficult

mrskelly731 · April 2015

I agree with Lola about if you don't do meds you go into a zone. I called it my happy place

I curled up in the fetal position, let it happen u til I was ready to push. Two pushes and she was out.

whatabout2ndbreakfast · July 2015

this just hit me! seeing the baby growing and feeling him or her kick more and more is great! But I'm scared of delivery. I haven't taken the childbirth classes yet, so I'll probably feel better after taking those? I had an extremely new resident help with my 20 week ultrasound and it made more nervous. Plus at my hospital it could be any one of 40 providers who deliver the baby. I know the doctors don't do a whole lot for a normal birth but I'm hoping somebody will be paying attention to me! Is there anything you ladies do to cut back on the stress/fear of the unknown?

TacoSarah · July 2015

Knottie1425906242 said:

Is there anything you ladies do to cut back on the stress/fear of the unknown?

I've read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, some of it is a bit too crunchy for me (birth being a sexual experience for example) but I understand the birthing process more fully, what will happen to my body, how my body will cope and how I can assist my body to make it a more pleasurable experience for myself. It's worth a read IMO.

VexedMommy · July 2015

I've found that the best thing for me was to surround myself with comforting people and experiences and then let go of my desire for control. It will happen as it happens. I have a few specific things that I'd like to have happen. No pitocin and an epidural. Other than that, I trust in myself and the trained professionals who will surround me when the time comes..

I also realized the need for only comforting people by having my 1st delivery room full of family members traipsing in and out pestering me, eating in the room and turning on a "World's Stupidest. . . " marathon. Never again.

aliciajmotsiff · July 2015

My mother in law is a pediatric nurse and helps deliver babies all day. She has told me numerous times to not get any medication, however it's my choice. As of right now I plan on getting an epidural because I know my pain tolerance. I'm absolutely terrified to give birth but I'm sure it'll be all worth it once the baby is here.

rachswi · July 2015

I'm not overly worried about giving birth for some reason. I've opted to try not to have an epidural, but I'm pretty sure that's a decision I won't actually be able to make until I'm in the heat of it.

Pontot31 · July 2015

Just remember the baby has to come out one way or another. No use in being worried about it.
Educate yourself. Read books and take a class so you know what to expect. No birth is the same so you can't prepare for every possibility but you can at least know what might happen.

A lot of us here have done it before and are doing it again so it can't be that bad

apritch88 · July 2015

I was terrified to give birth the first time too.

I think this is why nature makes the last few weeks of pregnancy so stinking uncomfortable.

I was SOOOO ready to get her out by her due date- I just wanted the suffering to end!

dmiller1213 · July 2015

Completely horrified but it has to happen so I just keep telling myself "suck it up miller!!"

thefithuntress · July 2015

BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!

I was scared and now I'm not. Thank you, Ina May Gaskin!

gvgauthi · July 2015

lulamagoo said:
The good news, labor and birth can only last a certain amount of time. (It depends on your risk factors and the practice you go to)

Had a vaginal birth on pitocin with no pain meds. I am a red head, we supposedly do not have a high pain threshold. While it was uncomfortable and painful, it was not excruciating. If you go unmedicated, you kind of go into a zone.
If you get an epidural then hopefully it takes the edge off.

I wouldn't worry to much about labor and delivery. That part only lasts a few days. The first 6 months of being a mom were way harder in my opinion.

ATTN RED HEADS: Anesthesia requirements are increased up to 20% in redheads. I've seen this first hand many times as an anesthetist. Most redheads have a gene causing this. Every anesthesiologist is aware of this (it's in all of our anesthesia books and there are many supporting studies) and you will be given pain medication and anesthesia accordingly. Not to worry!!!

VexedMommy · July 2015

gvgauthi said:

ATTN RED HEADS: Anesthesia requirements are increase up to 20% in redheads. I've seen this first hand many times as an anesthetist. Most redheads have a gene causing this. Every anesthesiologist is aware of this (it's in all of our anesthesia books and there are many supporting studies) and you will be given pain medication and anesthesia accordingly. Not to worry!!!

Interesting. I have very light blonde hair, but almost everyone in my family has red hair and I have a very low pain tolerance.

CarrieOct15 · July 2015

rachswi said:

I'm not overly worried about giving birth for some reason. I've opted to try not to have an epidural, but I'm pretty sure that's a decision I won't actually be able to make until I'm in the heat of it.

That's exactly how I'm feeling about it. I'd like to go without an epidural, but I won't beat myself up if I cave & get one. I really don't know what my pain tolerance is.

DrMommaDVM · July 2015

Knottie1425906242 said:
this just hit me! seeing the baby growing and feeling him or her kick more and more is great! But I'm scared of delivery. I haven't taken the childbirth classes yet, so I'll probably feel better after taking those? I had an extremely new resident help with my 20 week ultrasound and it made more nervous. Plus at my hospital it could be any one of 40 providers who deliver the baby. I know the doctors don't do a whole lot for a normal birth but I'm hoping somebody will be paying attention to me! Is there anything you ladies do to cut back on the stress/fear of the unknown?

When I was pregnant with my first we went to a "childbirth preparedness" class. They showed the most horrible birth film from the 80s with close-up shots of tearing vaginas and a woman having a cesarean with her arms strapped down to the table like it was some sort of torture situation. I went in scared and came out terrified. Hope your class is better!

It helps me to just accept that I'm not in control. I try not to even think about the delivery until the last few weeks.

lyankowi · July 2015

I was going to say the same thing about red heads. I have red hair also and did it without meds. I think I have a high pain tolerance too, my DD is a strawberry blond and is a tough little 2 year old too.
OP labor ends up being the easy part, a coworker told me she passed a canolope sized clots...WTF! My clots weren't that big but just wait until they come in and push on your stomach to help you pass clots.

skabanak · July 2015

mchmadre said:
I went all natural and I loved it. Contractions weren't fun for 12 hours but the actual delivery was great for me. I'm so excited

UNMEDICATED. Every birth is natural whether a mama chooses pain meds or not or for the health of herself or her child and has to have a c-section

mamavbs · July 2015

@rachswi @CarrieOct15 you've got the best attitude about it! It's okay to be nervous every now and then but you have to try not to worry. When you stop and think how many people do this every day and for how long birth has been going on... You'll get through it, whatever way you can at the time

!

@Knottie1425906242 I'm being lazy and not copy pasting lol sorry but I put some advice on the "preparing for birth" thread that I'd say applies if you're nervous. :-)

kelseyb40 · July 2015

I was nervous with my first as well! My biggest fear was a c section. Guess what that's exactly what happened. My delivery was not what I planned/expected at all. There were complications with my c section and I had to have an additional surgery 2days later. But it was so worth every moment as soon as my daughter was there!! This time I'm not worried at all

kelseyb40 · July 2015

I was nervous with my first as well! My biggest fear was a c section. Guess what that's exactly what happened. My delivery was not what I planned/expected at all. There were complications with my c section and I had to have an additional surgery 2days later. But it was so worth every moment as soon as my daughter was there!! This time I'm not worried at all

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