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March 2015 Moms
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Visitors (long)

lauraj555lauraj555 member
in March 2015 Moms
My LO is the first grandchild on my side of the family and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with them constantly wanting to come over and visit. My LO is three weeks old and they see her atleast twice a week and this doesnt take into account others wanting to visit. Its getting to be too much. I just want space to be a little family and not feeling the pressure to "entertain" all the time. Is this reasonable? Anybody have similar experiences? Unfortunately my family will not be understanding if I bring this up... Also to make matters worse a few of them are very critical of everything I do with the baby so some of it I'm sick of hearing their obnoxious comments when they visit.
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Re: Visitors (long)

  • secretbabasecretbaba member
    This sounds very familiar! We have a similar situation, only with my in-laws. The best thing to do is be honest - tell them you want family time but you'll see them on 'such and such' a day. That way, they know they're wanted, but it's on your terms. And with the criticism, I gave up trying to be nice when my mother in law told me over the space of two days to A: stop picking up my daughter when she cries and B:give her fruit juice for wind. I just told her that things have changed since she had an infant, and that I felt uncomfortable following her advice. I left no room for discussion, and much as it upset her greatly, it was that or deal with bad advice forever. Also, there is a fine line between advice and giving orders. My MIL gives orders - if she gave advice I'd be a lot happier.
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  • ngolimentongolimento member
    Sadly this is only the tip of the iceberg if you don't put your foot down now. It is your child, your house, and your free time, not theirs.

    You make the decisions for your child, or they will make them for you. I know it's hard, but it will only get worse if you let them make the decisions now. Wait until they figure out they can get away with it, and essentially steamroll you on raising your child. They will if you let them.
    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • adelemsadelems member
    You definitely have every right to feel like you need more space and time alone! My DD was the first grand baby on my family's side and they are OBSESSED with her, but there is no way more than once a week would have been okay with me. Just remember this is the beginning of a long life of being a mother and you're going to have to stand your ground even against family in particular areas
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  • babysufibabysufi member
    My in laws live next door and pop in almost every day. But only for a few minutes. I don't mind it as my mom is visiting and staying with me as well so I am not in the ' private' mode. Might be upsetting later when things are back to normal.
    I do get upset at the expert advice from women who have had kids (and one who doesn't) Coming from an Asian culture I need to find a polite way to tell then to shut up. I just smile and ignore at the moment but it's annoying.
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  • SharLovesAlexSharLovesAlex member
    I'm going through this with my in laws. Well, namely my mother in law. I just want space, not everyone coming over all the time. It's my in laws first grandchild, my mom's second. I get that everyone loves him, but I am finding it hard to set boundaries with her. My mom understands and gives us space. His mom is overbearing and nosy and constantly overstepping her bounds. We haven't yet figured out how to break it to her.
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