Hospital visitors?

awolfff · April 2015

Hey there June mommies! I'm considering not having ppl visit in the hospital and waiting until we are home to visit. However, MIL and SIL had a complete fit over the idea and now I'm wondering if this is something I'm being weird/bratty/hormonal/ect about? I just 1) want to ensure ample time for skin to skin when he is first born, 2) want to make sure husband and I can take in all the info the hospital gives you (I.e- breast feeding, newborn care, ect) without the distraction of family and 3) it is a priority for us to have bonding time with our new addition. SIL has kids and completely scoffed at the 3rd one (which I found a little rude, but whatever). We could have visitors at the hospital, but I know for sure I wouldn't want them in the room right away (maybe a few hours after or the following day?).

Anyways, I'm trying to get a sense of what other moms are doing in terms of hospital visitors. Also, if you are waiting (even if only for a few hours after baby is born), what has been the overall response and if it wasn't supportive, how have you handled it?

Katerina&Baby · April 2015

I have made it clear that we will not be having visitors until at least 2 hours after delivery. I want to have ample time to do skin to skin, try to breastfeed, and generally get cleaned up, rest, and relax with DH and baby before being inundated by friends and family (plus DH and I are not setting a name in stone until after baby gets here - we are team green - so we need time for that). DH explained this plan to MIL, who was NOT happy (she had previously camped out at the hospital when SIL had her kids so I assume she thought she would be doing the same with us) but she relented. I also have no problem cutting visiting hours short and just being like "thanks for coming guys but we're exhausted - call us tomorrow and maybe there would be a good time for you to come back if you want".

I just want to be able to have people visit on our terms. I would never dream of banning our immediate families from coming to see us in the hospital soon after baby is born (it's a really exciting time for them too) but I certainly don't want a parade of people coming in. My family lives an hour away so I don't think very many people will want to come see us on the actual day of but DH's family lives really close by so I think I'll ask that MIL and DH NOT text an announcement to everyone and their brother until the next day.

Tl;Dr: First day should just be immediate family, who are welcome after at least 2 hours of DH and I having some alone time with baby. Second day we will welcome visitors from our extended family and close friends who would like to stop by.

enigmaticjj · April 2015

We're for sure waiting a couple hours (maybe more depending on how I/we feel) before having visitors. I also figure depending on the time of day/night we might be waiting until the next morning. I want that bonding time with baby and spouse. Time to get cleaned up somewhat. Time to breath.

We're not expecting a bunch of visitors though. But want to give close family a chance to see the baby at the hospital. I also want to take in all the wisdom/knowledge I can from the hospital, but figure that still should leave some time for visitors (and I think the nurses can help you make sure people don't overstay their welcome).

I hate it when people scoff at things you feel are important.

seesea · April 2015

I was thinking the same thing about visitors! I don't think you're being weird/bratty at all. Maybe hormonal, but your feelings are totally valid! Things can be very overwhelming after giving birth.

After I had DS family and friends were really excited, which is nice, but it's somewhat disruptive. Like when I felt tired and about to nap, someone pops into the room. It was also a bit awkward and distracting when the lactation consultant was helping me breastfeed while my MIL and aunt were watching. I didn't mind having my mom there because I had a moment of "I want my mommy!" But I would've been fine without everyone else.

I know that if DH and I request no visitors, people may get upset, especially family. So we're thinking of having visitors a day after I give birth and setting a time frame. Maybe the afternoons from 2-5 or something like that.

dkleid · April 2015

So my parents and his parents have already said that they will be camping out at the hospital once i call to let them know that I am in Labor...which is all fine and dandy you can sit in the waiting room all you want. But you will not be welcome in the back until I give the okay. Dh and I have already talked about this and there will be NO one seeing the baby until i am all cleaned up and back in the room and have had some time with the baby... IF it is 2 hours after the baby is born then it is 2 hours after the baby is born. I don't really care. I already pissed everyone off when I told them no one would be coming in to see me until AFTER i delivered. So if i call them at 1am to say I am in the hospital and in labor and they show up at 1:30 but don't actually deliver until 1 pm and then they camp out until 1pm and they don't get to see my or the baby until 4 pm?? well then guess what that is their fault for staying in the hospital all night and all day. DH's parents are also Divorced and we have made it clear and we plan on telling the hospital staff that if there are any fights (because they tend to yell at each other) whoever starts it is to be kicked out and they will not be welcomed back at all.

ngaines27 · April 2015

My mom will be in the delivery room with DH and me and my dad will be in the waiting room, but baby and I will have skin to skin for at least the first hour and a half. I have instructed DH to not even notify his mom I'm in labor until it's almost, as she will have a 4 hour drive which will give me and hubby and our daughters plenty of time with baby boy before she arrives. No one else is welcome until the next day.

alcrimmins · April 2015

I don't want any visitors until the baby and I are cleaned up and comfortable. This includes alone time for skin to skin and feeding. We won't even tell anyone I'm in labor. I'm going to tell everyone when he/she arrives and we're ready for visitors. Our families are 4 hours away and are completely okay with this decision.

aj1327 · April 2015

dkleid said:
So my parents and his parents have already said that they will be camping out at the hospital once i call to let them know that I am in Labor...which is all fine and dandy you can sit in the waiting room all you want. But you will not be welcome in the back until I give the okay. Dh and I have already talked about this and there will be NO one seeing the baby until i am all cleaned up and back in the room and have had some time with the baby... IF it is 2 hours after the baby is born then it is 2 hours after the baby is born. I don't really care. I already pissed everyone off when I told them no one would be coming in to see me until AFTER i delivered. So if i call them at 1am to say I am in the hospital and in labor and they show up at 1:30 but don't actually deliver until 1 pm and then they camp out until 1pm and they don't get to see my or the baby until 4 pm?? well then guess what that is their fault for staying in the hospital all night and all day. DH's parents are also Divorced and we have made it clear and we plan on telling the hospital staff that if there are any fights (because they tend to yell at each other) whoever starts it is to be kicked out and they will not be welcomed back at all.

This is pretty much my attitude as well. I've made it clear I want plenty of time for skin to skin and to get cleaned up. If you want to come sit there that's your choice.

lalamomma · April 2015

I'll be excited to have visitors but not for a few hours after delivery. I'll let family know when I'm in labor and when they are welcome to see us. Thankfully the only people who live totally local to us are my mom and step dad. My mom will probably be in the room for delivery and SD will have DD. Everyone else has at least an hour and a half drive lol

dkleid · April 2015

amccoy129 said:

dkleid said:
So my parents and his parents have already said that they will be camping out at the hospital once i call to let them know that I am in Labor...which is all fine and dandy you can sit in the waiting room all you want. But you will not be welcome in the back until I give the okay. Dh and I have already talked about this and there will be NO one seeing the baby until i am all cleaned up and back in the room and have had some time with the baby... IF it is 2 hours after the baby is born then it is 2 hours after the baby is born. I don't really care. I already pissed everyone off when I told them no one would be coming in to see me until AFTER i delivered. So if i call them at 1am to say I am in the hospital and in labor and they show up at 1:30 but don't actually deliver until 1 pm and then they camp out until 1pm and they don't get to see my or the baby until 4 pm?? well then guess what that is their fault for staying in the hospital all night and all day. DH's parents are also Divorced and we have made it clear and we plan on telling the hospital staff that if there are any fights (because they tend to yell at each other) whoever starts it is to be kicked out and they will not be welcomed back at all.
This is pretty much my attitude as well. I've made it clear I want plenty of time for skin to skin and to get cleaned up. If you want to come sit there that's your choice.

His mom thinks that she has a PHD after her name...she has an MD HUGE difference.. I have had a few surgeries and she tries telling the doctors what I should do and what not. DH has had to sit his mom down and say shut up, sit down, stop looking at her chart you are not her doctor and you do not have the rights to look at that... She has already offered to be in the delivery room with me and help deliver the baby... I have said thank you but no thank you. and told her that she can sit in the waiting room with my parents if she wishes, but she will not be allowed in the back until I am back in my room.

Anytime a Doctor or nurse comes into the room even if it is just to ask me a simple question I am going to instruct anyone who is in the room to leave. No one needs to know what is going on besides me and DH. She tried telling me that my sister left the hospital in January AMA with her new born twins and that is why they were jaundice and what not... Which was not the case at all.. The least bit of information she knows the better.

ALSO if I have to have a c-section NO ONE is to see or hold the baby until I am back in my room and I have held the baby first. Even our parents, they will not be allowed in the back to see the baby who will be in the nursery until I do. DH can obviously hold her but no one else!

Zeuskay01 · April 2015

I don't think its rude at all for you to say that. It is your baby, your birth so your rules (and DH of course). As for me, my immediate family is on the opposite side of the country so they unfortunately won't make it for a bit. However, my in laws are about an 8 hour drive away and they have stated on multiple occasions they want to be here for the birth (which idk how they plan on doing unless they decide to come a week or so before my due date and plan to stay till who knows when since I'm not planning on being induced or having a c section). If they do manage to make it for when I give birth, I will kindly tell them I don't want ANYone in the room until a couple hours have passed and settled. I also will ask them to leave the room if I need to breastfeed, because I am absolutely not comfortable doing that in front of them.
Also, I'm in the military and a lot of times people in your chain of command (your bosses pretty much) like to come visit after you've given birth. Uhhhh...sorry but no. I will be telling them while I'm at work I don't want any work visitors. That's just awkward to me.

.....Now that I've said all that, I feel pretty bratty lol but My baby, my rules

lalamomma · April 2015

dkleid said:

amccoy129 said:

dkleid said:
So my parents and his parents have already said that they will be camping out at the hospital once i call to let them know that I am in Labor...which is all fine and dandy you can sit in the waiting room all you want. But you will not be welcome in the back until I give the okay. Dh and I have already talked about this and there will be NO one seeing the baby until i am all cleaned up and back in the room and have had some time with the baby... IF it is 2 hours after the baby is born then it is 2 hours after the baby is born. I don't really care. I already pissed everyone off when I told them no one would be coming in to see me until AFTER i delivered. So if i call them at 1am to say I am in the hospital and in labor and they show up at 1:30 but don't actually deliver until 1 pm and then they camp out until 1pm and they don't get to see my or the baby until 4 pm?? well then guess what that is their fault for staying in the hospital all night and all day. DH's parents are also Divorced and we have made it clear and we plan on telling the hospital staff that if there are any fights (because they tend to yell at each other) whoever starts it is to be kicked out and they will not be welcomed back at all.
This is pretty much my attitude as well. I've made it clear I want plenty of time for skin to skin and to get cleaned up. If you want to come sit there that's your choice.
His mom thinks that she has a PHD after her name...she has an MD HUGE difference.. I have had a few surgeries and she tries telling the doctors what I should do and what not. DH has had to sit his mom down and say shut up, sit down, stop looking at her chart you are not her doctor and you do not have the rights to look at that... She has already offered to be in the delivery room with me and help deliver the baby... I have said thank you but no thank you. and told her that she can sit in the waiting room with my parents if she wishes, but she will not be allowed in the back until I am back in my room.

Anytime a Doctor or nurse comes into the room even if it is just to ask me a simple question I am going to instruct anyone who is in the room to leave. No one needs to know what is going on besides me and DH. She tried telling me that my sister left the hospital in January AMA with her new born twins and that is why they were jaundice and what not... Which was not the case at all.. The least bit of information she knows the better.

ALSO if I have to have a c-section NO ONE is to see or hold the baby until I am back in my room and I have held the baby first. Even our parents, they will not be allowed in the back to see the baby who will be in the nursery until I do. DH can obviously hold her but no one else!

YIKES! She sounds like a handful! I wouldn't have her around either because it would make me totally stressed out. I think you are being very smart!

staceyfern · April 2015

I have been thinking about this a lot too. I'm tempted not to tell my parents when I'm in labor so that they do not rush down here ( they are 3 hrs away). I do want a couple of hours alone with my baby, hubby and my stepson before everyone invades.

laurendutch · April 2015

I'm having a c-section, so I plan on having visitors after I have an hour of skin to skin with baby girl. So I'm thinking about 2-3 hours after delivery. I hope to have her early in the morning, so I'm thinking people can come around dinner time or in the afternoon. There's a good chance that my DH may not be here for delivery, so I will either have my sister, SIL or my Mom in the delivery room with me. I liked having visitors, especially in the days following the delivery. Most of the visits from the lactation consultants happened at night time or early in the morning. My Drs came in around 7/7:30 each morning.

ElRuby · April 2015

I actually found it somewhat easier to have visitors at hospital when baby slept a lot and conversation with family was welcome and many of my needs were being taken care of by hospital staff... At home I was more interested in having peace and time to adjust to routine. Also like PP said my doctors came very early and the lactation consultants were more available at night or early morning.

henrytviii · April 2015

I really think the best thing to do if you want some privacy (I'm in that camp) is not to tell anyone you are in labor and make the phone calls when you see fit after the baby is born. We did it this way with our first. He was born at 6:30 am. We ended up calling one couple (best friends not family) around 9 am because we suddenly really wanted to share our joy with someone. The came right to the hospital for a 10 minute visit, didn't ask to hold him or anything intrusive like that, and then went back home. Perfect, that is why they were invited. We called my in-laws and my parents late in the day. No visitors came that first day, they started to arrive late morning the 2nd day and all wanted to hold the baby. I'm glad I waited a day, I would not have wanted him held by others on day 1.

This is how we'll do it again. It will be a little different because we'll need childcare for my son. So if my Mom or in-laws are in town to do that they'll know I'm in labor but once I go to the hospital it they won't receive any communication from us until several hours after the baby is born and that will probably be an invitation to visit the next day or to stop in for 10-20 minutes if things are going really well. DH will promise to call them if their are any issues or complications so they'll know that no news is good news.

KaLikeAWind · April 2015

DH is military and we are stationed far away from any family so thankfully this is not a problem for us. But if they were nearby, we would probably tell everyone that we will let them know once we are ready for visitors. Anybody who comes before that notification is on their own. I don't care if they sit in that waiting room for a day or more - if we aren't ready for visitors even 6 or more hours birth, then we aren't ready. Tough titty, said the kitty.

karaelaine1991 · April 2015

My plan is to have it be just me and DH with baby until I am ready for visitors - regardless of who it is. I'm thinking that after 2-3 hours I'll be fine with having immediate family come in, unless it's the middle of night in which case they're going to have to wait till I'm ready for them in the morning. No friends or extended family period until we're home. DH isn't totally understanding of this - he'll go along with what I want but he wants to have a big group in the waiting room and bring LO out to them if I'm not ready for them to see me. I told him that I absolutely do not want friends in the room after I've just given birth and LO is not going to the waiting room immediately after birth because of germs.

Basically, with this, I'm calling the shots. I'm not usually like that but in this case what I say goes - and DH is on board with that, even though he doesn't totally agree with what I want.

queequeg09256 · April 2015

You guys are all so much nicer than me! No one is visiting us in the hospital at all! Don't like it too bad! Our family all lives far away (thank god) and my mom threw a fit when I said I wanted to be alone with the baby and husband for 2 weeks before visitors decided to come up. My sis lives in town and we will let her know when we are going to have visitors over to the house to visit baby. Our friends are picking up our dog and are also totally cool to meet lo at the house when ready. I remember seeing my aunt after she had my cousin she didn't have time to clean up and now I feel super bad for her and how that must have made her feel. I think this is also a good way to start laying down the strong boundaries that family needs to have.

HoosOnFirst · April 2015

My mom asked if we'd call when I was in labor and I said I wasn't sure, and she has been so damn pouty about it. She's been talking behind my back - asking my sister "you would call me, RIGHT?" Yeah it just makes me more annoyed. They are about 2.5 hours away and what I don't want is them rushing up when I have no idea how long labor will take. I'm inclined to tell them once baby is born and let the chips fall where they may. But I know there will be drama and wtf? All I want is a good few hours after labor with just me, baby and DH!

lalamomma · April 2015

hoodoll82 said:
My mom asked if we'd call when I was in labor and I said I wasn't sure, and she has been so damn pouty about it. She's been talking behind my back - asking my sister "you would call me, RIGHT?" Yeah it just makes me more annoyed. They are about 2.5 hours away and what I don't want is them rushing up when I have no idea how long labor will take. I'm inclined to tell them once baby is born and let the chips fall where they may. But I know there will be drama and wtf? All I want is a good few hours after labor with just me, baby and DH!

Could you just ask her if she can respect your wishes to wait and come IF you do tell her when you go in labor so she knows to be prepared, but not come before you request?

fridaysdance · April 2015

We have been politely bringing it up to family that we want to be alone in the delivery room and don't want everybody camping out the entire time I am in labor. I'm not nice when I don't feel good and I hate having people around. We agreed to text with updates and told all parties that they are welcome to come when we are getting close if they insist on being in the building. However, I want to have the baby and be somewhat cleaned up before anybody comes back to see us. Our parents are having a fit. I find it reasonable though.

HoosOnFirst · April 2015

@lalamomma I think that's a good idea. No matter what I say she will be hurt because that's just the way she is, but at least I can justify that I am being reasonable!

btm013 · April 2015

I don't want anyone in the waiting room while I am in labor. Knowing me, I would probably be worried that they are bored or that I'm taking too long pushing out the child haha. Afterwards, I don't want my immediate family to visit until I'm good and ready. We are team green as well and my parents already told us that they don't even want to know the sex until they arrive at the hospital! I figure my husband and I will take all the time we need with the little one and call when we are ready for visitors. Plus, Lord only knows what time I'll deliver so if it's the middle of the night and I go into labor, they won't know until an appropriate time in the morning. No sense in worrying them while they rest comfortably.

As for close friends, I may play it by ear and see how I feel. If I'm up for visitors then I will give them the go ahead. If not then they can come over when I'm home and settled. I am going to try to breastfeed and I definitely don't want a show at that point.

Knottie64157109 · April 2015

Just remember this is YOUR experience so feel free to stand your ground. Also, a friend of mine didn't have visitors but had a "sip and see" several weeks later once she felt healed. It was nice.

ReadyforBaby2 · April 2015

We didn't tell anyone I was in labor until I was officially admitted to the hospital and was in my room. This allowed, with drive time, for me to have had an epidural and taking a nap. So, DH didn't let anyone in my room until after labor and it wasn't until I/we were ready for people. But, once we did we had about 10 people in the room at one time. I hope to avoid that this time. I'm so sorry for all you guys who have family that don't understand your desires. I know I could say anything to my family and my in laws and they would understand or at least comply. What a difficult situation for you guys. Praying your families allow you to do this how you feel is best for you!

teather5 · April 2015

Good discussion. Prompted me to discuss this again with hubby. Said I wanted to call the shots and how important I feel the time is for just the 3 of us. All your input on here made me a strong case and he is on board!

)

nicnnatesmom · April 2015

I have whoever I feel like having in the delivery room. Usually just DH and my mom. I've had friends hang out while I labored. Honestly that was great for me b/c it was a nice distraction. But usually after baby is born no one comes in for a couple if hours. Long enough to have some good one on one with me and DH and baby and for me to nurse LO and get cleaned up. After that it tends to be a parade of ppl. I much prefer that to being invaded when I get home. I like my space. And I don't like my space being invaded at home. Also this is my 5th kiddo. So by now I know what I like and what I don't!
My in laws keep my kiddos for me while I'm in labor and then bring them up when I give them the go ahead. They, thankfully, respect whatever we say.

KarasTwin · April 2015

I want an hour of skin to skin at least. I don't mind if people camp out in the waiting room, but they are going to have to understand that they may have to wait and that there are going to be some rules about holding him. I want grandparents to hold him first (after me and DH). Then mine and DH'S siblings
After that I don't care but I'm honestly considering making people draw numbers as to what order. I'm also not going to feel bad for making people put him down or give someone else a turn. My family lives a couple hours away and DH'S family lives within 20 minutes of hospital so I hope that his family will be understanding that tmy family has to travel and take that into consideration. He only has one aunt that I'm concerned about, she has a bit of a sense of entitlement and I can see her causing issues.

Serenamarr · April 2015

My mom and fiance will be in delivery with me- I don't plan on telling anyone I've gone into labor until baby is born. My family is local and FI's is 1.5 hours away so there's no need to tell them until baby is here. It's not like anyone can be mad and fault you for not keeping in touch while in labor- you have more important things to worry about!

virginiaunicorn11 · April 2015

We are living abroad and our parents keep asking when they should come. We are lucky that they all are really chill. But yesterday, MIL asked and I said, "Come whenever you want" thinking our last conversation about two weeks after the due date would stand. And DH said (I could kill him), "Yeah, we need all the help we can get!" (No, dude. We need privacy to figure this thing out!)

MIL got really excited and squealed, "You want me there for the birth?!" I said, "Um--" while DH said, "Yeah, that would be great!" Ummm...?!?!?!

We have a one-bedroom apartment, and she and DH have decided she will come for the birth and sleep on our couch for a while. Ummmm...?!?!

I do love her. She will be helpful. But I can see this not going well... Need to ask DH to put a stop to this before she buys her flight...

KaLikeAWind · April 2015

amark11 said:
We are living abroad and our parents keep asking when they should come. We are lucky that they all are really chill. But yesterday, MIL asked and I said, "Come whenever you want" thinking our last conversation about two weeks after the due date would stand. And DH said (I could kill him), "Yeah, we need all the help we can get!" (No, dude. We need privacy to figure this thing out!)

MIL got really excited and squealed, "You want me there for the birth?!" I said, "Um--" while DH said, "Yeah, that would be great!" Ummm...?!?!?!

We have a one-bedroom apartment, and she and DH have decided she will come for the birth and sleep on our couch for a while. Ummmm...?!?!

I do love her. She will be helpful. But I can see this not going well... Need to ask DH to put a stop to this before she buys her flight...

:-S
I barely just avoided a similar situation with my stepdad (I think I just avoided it - hopefully things stay as they are and he's not coming). That sounds like a crowded situation at a stressful, transitional time. Hope it works out!

mccall35 · April 2015

We didn't tell anyone my water broke (wed afternoon), that I was being induced (Thursday morning) or that I was labouring (all Thursday afternoon). We did call my parents at 11pm when they were prepping me for my emergency c-section. But since it was so late they waited until Friday morning to come visit. I was throwing up and exhausted when they came so DH took DS out to the family lounge to meet my ILs and I slept. My parents came later in the day so they sat and chatted for an hour or so.

As for for friends, we had 3 couples come visit on the Saturday, but that's all. Everyone else came over the course of the our first couple weeks at home.

This time, we plan on doing the same. We won't be alerting the masses until the baby is here. We may even try to "pull one over" on the ILs, who will be watching DS, by disguising our drop off of DS as a routine sleepover for a last minute date night/day (but that will depend on when it happens!).

And I don't feel guilty in the least about it.

slr1229 · April 2015

We won't be telling anyone when we head to hospital. They will get a call once baby has arrived. During Christmas I told my mother in law this after she said "well be on a plane as soon as DH calls!" And I nipped that in the butt and said "that's great but yAll can come the next day, I don't want anyone visiting until then." Boy her face was disgusted!

It'll be our time together before people come barging in. I have a large immediate family too so people will be coming and going throughout the day.

MaliKaela · April 2015

I wish I could just not tell anyone until we feel ready for visitors. My family lives out of state so that won't be a problem. But my husband's family would be so freaking upset I don't think it's even worth considering. However, this thread has given me something to think about. I know my MIL wants to be in the delivery room, but that is just not going to happen. And I hate to have everyone just out there waiting because I would feel rushed and guilty after the delivery (even though I know I shouldn't). It sure sucks that we have to think about everyone else's feelings when we are the women birthing a child! I just hope I remember this someday when my daughter/daughter in law is in this position!

CurlyMom78 · April 2015

My mom doesn't even want to know when we go to the hospital. She wants to know after she is born and will come up then. Which is just fine and dandy with me but I don't think will happen because they are our dog sitter! My MIL is the complete opposite but she lives 10 hours away. I want to be cleaned up, have the skin to skin time & and feed her before anybody comes though to visit.

valeriemarie24 · April 2015

My bf's mom is a nurse and labour coach so he wants to have her in the delivery room, which I don't really have a problem with. Everyone else I am waiting to call until after the baby is out...my family lives a couple hours away so that will be good for us to just have some alone time and freshen up a bit before they get there.

selahbaby · April 2015

I just informed my mother and MIL about that too. I said immediate family only and it has to be the next day. No sitting in the waiting room the whole time texting my husband every few minutes for updates. I am throwing a "meet and greet" a few weeks after the baby is born so I don't have people in and out of the house every day.

queequeg09256 · April 2015

I really like the idea of a meet and greet! Plus it's an excuse to have people over and bbq and drink! I'm so looking forward to a glass of wine or cider in summer.

gilder40 · April 2015

I haven't really thought about who and when we will notify about the baby arriving. When I go into labor, we will probably tell my parents and my husband's mom. Maaaayyybbeeee his grandparents because we are really close. I want my mom there, not sure if my dad will come with her or the next day. My husband's mom is really respectful and will do whatever we ask. I just worry that his grandmother will start calling everyone and spread the word. Not sure what she would do.

We will probably tell extended family and friends after baby arrives. He has an aunt that is crazy and would want to hold the baby immediately and get her feelings all hurt if I say no. She asked me what names we had picked out at Easter, and I told her. She started calling the baby one of the names stating that it was HER favorite. We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl!! She just does stuff like that and it pisses me off.

amydesh · April 2015

We have decided not to call our families until we feel ready too. My DH and I wanted to be able to spend time together as a new family before being bombarded by everyone. I know my MIL will try to stake the place out and will probably nag us until we tell her it is time to visit. We have also decided to only let our siblings and parents visit... our friends and rest of the family will be able to visit about a week after we get home... again, to let us have time to bond as a new family.

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