STM+'s funniest part of your labor(s)

mhilpisch10 · April 2015

I thought it would be funny to hear some of the more entertaining parts of your labor stories.

Some highlights for me are when after about 8 hours of intense labor and puking 3 times my husband offers me some trail mix! I'm sure the look on my face was priceless. I think my exact words were simply "are you kidding me?"
Also, for some reason I needed to hold onto the last 2 fingers of my husbands left hand during my contractions. At one point his hand was hurting so bad he tried to offer me 2 of his other fingers and I very emphatically said "no the other two!!"

supersarah77 · April 2015

I had intermittent monitoring and at one point my husband was announcing when the next contraction was starting, based on what he saw on the screen. "Here comes the next one!" I'm like, "I know, I can feel it!" I wanted to punch him. Not really. Maybe a little.

katielyn1 · April 2015

The funny part that comes to mind is when I was getting the epidural , DH was sitting in front of me holding my hands. HE was squeezing my hands so hard I had to say "Umm babe, you're hurting my hands." He was so nervous for me. Sweet man.

marthaudani · April 2015

I was in the middle of pushing my daughter. For some reason the tv was on in the birthing suite and the doctor turns around between contractions and says "I love that band" as some music video played on tv. I wanted to smack him for not focusing when he had been telling me to focus for the last 45 minutes.

sschwege · April 2015

With my second we arrived in triage and soon after my triage nurse says, "Do you feel like pushing?" I said 'yes' and she says, "Then I have to get someone, I'm just a triage nurse!" She bolts and comes back with my MW. I tell my MW, "I don't want to know how dilated I am." My MW starts to check me and her eyes get big and she says, "The bag is bulging and the head is right there!" DH could see the head as well, haha, guess my concerns on be discouraged about by my number in dilation was unwarranted!

sschwege · April 2015

Oh and then they have to get another MW because the one who checked me was just a student, so as I'm laying there nearly crowning they are asking me to sign consent forms. I don't remember it that well, but DH says I would form the first letter of my name and the rest of the signature was squiggly lines running down the page...who the hell knows what I was signing!

chelseas0620 · April 2015

While I was pushing, I was between contractions, and asked for a drink of water. My XH got me a drink, and after I finished drinking, I said 'thank you'. My doctor looks up at me and says 'you don't have to say thank you, you are pushing out his baby!'

keitlin415 · April 2015

Lol when I pushed out my daughter my Dr. said "open your eyes!" I had been so focused on relaxing and pushing, I had to force my eyes open!

AshSturgis · April 2015

I remember watching one of the final live shows of American idol while in labor. Lol. I had been so into it that season I had to keep watching!

ashleylane66 · April 2015

Sixteen and pregnant was on the TV screen and me and the girl on tv were pushing together

Ibliss · April 2015

Between contractions I would close my eyes to relax but during the contractions I would look at DH for support. One time I opened my eyes and he wasn't there. He had walked to the other side of the bed. I was like "get back here, NOW!" Later the nurse asked him to grab something from across the room. I protested "no! You don't go, you need to stay right here, she can get it!"

mhilpisch10 · April 2015

Loving all these stories!!
@sschwege talk about waiting until the last minute! That's an awesome story.
@chelseas0620 your story gave me a good laugh too!
I love everyone's. Haha.

Rosiethird · April 2015

I remember with my son, I thought I had pooped while pushing because I could smell something bad and I kept asking my husband if it was me and I was getting really upset (I was a bit delirious at this stage) and he kept telling me I hadn't. So I just yelled "you have to tell me!" And the midwife looked me right in the eye and said "I farted, but clearly not far enough away" then we all laughed and then I threw up on myself and we all laughed again. Gosh epidurals are wonderful, this was all while pushing.

sunnyday016 · April 2015

While pushing my daughter out I peed- a lot! I remember saying to the nurse "I think I am peeing..." and she was like "wow! You certainly are!"

mamadeuce · April 2015

mhilpisch10 said:
I thought it would be funny to hear some of the more entertaining parts of your labor stories.

Some highlights for me are when after about 8 hours of intense labor and puking 3 times my husband offers me some trail mix! I'm sure the look on my face was priceless. I think my exact words were simply "are you kidding me?"
Also, for some reason I needed to hold onto the last 2 fingers of my husbands left hand during my contractions. At one point his hand was hurting so bad he tried to offer me 2 of his other fingers and I very emphatically said "no the other two!!"

^^^^my bf at the time pulled out some chapstick while I was grunting and pushing the baby out and began putting it on. I look at him with a side eye and ask "really?" He said "oh I'm sorry do you want some?" My mother and stepmother were in the room too and both gave him WTF looks.

manacita · April 2015

1. I loved my epidural. I had no pain and the birthing process was exhausting and took forever, but not that bad. So at one point, between pushes, a nurse sneezed. I said 'bless you,' and my dr looked at me and said, 'really? Now?' My husband responded, 'she's southern. They're all that way.'

Then, after 2 hours of pushing and 6 weeks of ds being camped head down, my son came out with a pointy head. My Dr., whom I love, was never impressed with DH. He was actually drunk as a skunk when we arrived at the hospital. Anyway, he looked at ds and said, 'is his head always going to be shaped like that?' My Dr. gave him the longest hardest glare I have ever seen. I love her for that. In his defense, dh has grown up a lot since then.

katiebug66 · April 2015

When I was admitted to the hospital, I was not in active labor - they had decided to induce due to bp. About 10 mins after being induced, I looked at the monitor that had these huge peaks and valleys. I looked at my DH and said this isn't so bad. He said "that flat line at the bottom is you, the other one is the room next door that we can hear screaming." They put two rooms on the same monitor so the nurse can see both her patients. I said "oh then this is going to suck."

katiebug66 · April 2015

Another one is post delivery, I was very sick. I had fainted, an emergency c-section - it goes on and on. Well the next day a lady comes in and I ask her to help me to the bathroom. About half way there, I said "I am going to faint" and she goes "oh no, let me get a nurse". DH and I both looked at her and screamed, "You aren't a nurse??"!! She was there to get my vitals. She ran off and left DH with a fainting wife.

soontobecapek · April 2015

With my first I was 19 and had this very "I know everything" nurse. I kept telling her I was going to throw up and she kept telling me to deal with the nausea everyone experiences it and I'll be fine. Nobody ever actually throws up. well I threw up, all over my monitor cords, hit the call nurse button, she walked in quite irritated with me and says "what do you need now?" So I pointed at my floor, grinned and said "told you I was going to throw up". She cleaned it up and avoided my room until shift change.

With #2 I had an emergency c/s and was so thirsty when I woke up. I could see everyone but my mind was pretty blank as to who they were. I looked at the first person to my left and said "hey you, can you grab my water? I'm thirsty" to which I hear the reply "Me? I'm Brittanie" (my sister) " so I looked at her again and said " I don't care who you are, I can't reach my water". So after I drank my water I asked (still drugged obviously) "does my baby have eyes?" Again she looks confused and whispered "mom she asked if her kid has eyes", my mom says "well tell her". After she confirmed Kaydee had eyes I said "I'm not crazy, I know what I asked, I watched a TV show where this kid was born without eyes" and went back to sleep.

MrsKindy40 · April 2015

I had a student nurse in postpartum who was giving me an immunization. It looked like her first day on the job and the nurse had to point out that she had done something wrong mixing the shot and needed to redo it. So she finally gives me the shot and comes back an hour later to ask me if my arm hurt from the shot. Seriously lady? I just pushed out a bowling ball and you're asking me if my arm hurts?!

My husband is a PT and has seen a lot of surgeries yet he almost passed out during my epidural. He caught eye of the needle and had to sit down. So I'm getting a gigantic needle in my back and I hear the nurses say, "Can we get some crackers and juice over here?" Thanks honey.

MimiNmir912 · April 2015

I had two:

1st was when I was pushing and the nurses were counting off to ten. MY husband kept counting to 3

2nd was when my hun looked at the baby coming out....the facial expressions were priceless!!!

MimiNmir912 · April 2015

katiebug66 That's a good one!!

stark01938209 · April 2015

I had a planned c-section. My funny is that I couldn't stop laughing through the whole thing. I was worried they were going to cut a vital- but still couldn't stop laughing. The drugs were apparently overly effective on me

remingtonang · April 2015

Apparently I had pooped on the table during labor and my husband saw it. He still talks about it in detail 2 years later. That must be burned into his memory forever because it's the only thing he can relay in that much detail from that night!! Lol. And he almost passed out when I got my epidural. The nurse who was assisting the anesthesiologist stopped helping me and asked him if he needed to sit down! I was thinking "are you kidding me? I'm the one with a needle getting inserted into my spine!! " lol

Mom2enb · April 2015

When I got to the hospital with my third baby I "thought" my water had broke. I'd felt a pop while having a contraction at home and my pad (because I was passing blood clots) soaked. We rushed to the hospital but on the way there and the walk from the front door to the women's pavilion nothing more came out! They put me in triage and just as I was getting into the bed, after I had put on the gown, the flood came!! It was like the scene from the movie Cone Heads! They realized I was scheduled for an induction in just 5 hours so told me to walk to a labor and delivery room! I argued (playfully) for a few minutes that I was sitting in a puddle and couldn't walk until I finally lifted my gown and showed them the amount of water and they decided to just wheel the bed to the new room. Just changing from the triage bed to the new bed I flooded the floor again! It was hilarious! So grateful that didn't happen in public!

anorbury · April 2015

I love these stories! So nice to have humor! My mother whom is a nurse with seven children fainted during my delivery. She had more nurses helping her than I did. She also got stopped by the police for speeding on the way to the hospital.

)
It's been 15 years and I still tease her!

jodi1008 · April 2015

I was being Induced and the woman in the room next to me was in labor but we share a joined bathroom in the middle, there's no door locks. It's for the mothers only so as im using the restroom I hear screams from their room as she's pushing and the door flies open and her husband is running in with his hands over his mouth trying to hold in his puke. Good thing I had just finished peeing and was already standing up trying to rearrange my hospital gown

thughes05 · April 2015

With my first i had never experienced contractions or nothing, well I told my DH we needed to go now, something wasn't right, he said no go lay down you will be fine! I said no we needed to go NOW. Well I ended up getting irritated and punching a wall, he thought, well he's a guy I'm not sure what he was thinking and punched the wall after me, needless to say he regretted it when we got into the delivery room and that was the hand I held during contractions!
2nd- while in labor with this one, I managed to push my water bag out without breaking it, I shocked the nurses because they have never seen it done.
3rd- with my 2nd pregnancy I thought my water broke because I kept waking up in a wet spot on my bed, well went on to find out it was leaking, during delivery, the bag burst and all the nurses had to back up.
4th- with the last pregnancy as well, none of the nurses or doctors were suited up, the nurse told me to stop pushing when I was already crowning and all I could think was yes, because anyone that has a baby crowning right there is just going to want to stop.

Sorry may not be funny!

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