DS is almost four and is " the middle child" he tries my patience every. Single.day. It definitely isn't out of jealousy OR to get attention. He LOVES his baby sister and every time I'm not feeding her I'm playing with him..... It's true we don't get out of the house much with the cold weather and having a 3 month old but I just don't get him. You say black he says white... I offer choices he opts to get aggressive... He negotiates EVERYTHING. I have tried EVERYTHING from timeouts for bad behavior to sticker charts and Pom-poms for good behavior. I'm now at the point of shaming him and even that doesn't work.... DS number one was never like this.... I don't have the energy to keep this up.... I want him in all day school just so I don't have to deal with him..... Please tell me in not the only one who feels this way..... This kid has been stuck in the terrible twos for 3 years!
Re: Sometimes I can't stand my almost 4 year old
I know it's frustrating, but please don't take it out on him. It's a normal developmental stage. What you need to do is plan your discipline AND STICK TO IT. Consistency is key. It looks like you've been flip flopping all kinds of strategies. That's confusing to him.
Praise him when he's behaving. All children are looking for attention, regardless of their birth order or how much they love their siblings.
When he tries to negotiate, say "no, you can do this or that." and then walk away. Or pick for him and make it happen. (If you say, do you want the green or blue shoes, and he says the red, offer green or blue one more time. If he doesn't pick, just pick a pair and put them on him)
Pick your battles. Don't argue over things that don't matter (let him wear the red shoes)
If he's aggressive, pick him up, put him on his bed, tell him that he's acting mean (he isn't mean, his behavior is) and that you and his siblings don't want to be around him when he's acting mean. Tell him to stay in his room until he can play nicely.
Sticking him in school will get him out of your hair but it won't teach him how to behave. If you don't do it now, it'll only get worse.