Sometimes I can't stand my almost 4 year old — The Bump
Pre-School and Daycare

Sometimes I can't stand my almost 4 year old

DS is almost four and is " the middle child" he tries my patience every. It definitely isn't out of jealousy OR to get attention. He LOVES his baby sister and every time I'm not feeding her I'm playing with him..... It's true we don't get out of the house much with the cold weather and having a 3 month old but I just don't get him. You say black he says white... I offer choices he opts to get aggressive... He negotiates EVERYTHING. I have tried EVERYTHING from timeouts for bad behavior to sticker charts and Pom-poms for good behavior. I'm now at the point of shaming him and even that doesn't work.... DS number one was never like this.... I don't have the energy to keep this up.... I want him in all day school just so I don't have to deal with him..... Please tell me in not the only one who feels this way..... This kid has been stuck in the terrible twos for 3 years!

Re: Sometimes I can't stand my almost 4 year old

  • XCrissCrossXXCrissCrossX member
    edited January 2015
    The threes are much worse than the twos. DS was in a very trying stage a few months ago. He would have fits and tantrums for no reason, fight everything...act like a three year old.

    I know it's frustrating, but please don't take it out on him. It's a normal developmental stage. What you need to do is plan your discipline AND STICK TO IT. Consistency is key. It looks like you've been flip flopping all kinds of strategies. That's confusing to him.

    Praise him when he's behaving. All children are looking for attention, regardless of their birth order or how much they love their siblings.

    When he tries to negotiate, say "no, you can do this or that." and then walk away. Or pick for him and make it happen. (If you say, do you want the green or blue shoes, and he says the red, offer green or blue one more time. If he doesn't pick, just pick a pair and put them on him)

    Pick your battles. Don't argue over things that don't matter (let him wear the red shoes)

    If he's aggressive, pick him up, put him on his bed, tell him that he's acting mean (he isn't mean, his behavior is) and that you and his siblings don't want to be around him when he's acting mean. Tell him to stay in his room until he can play nicely.

    Sticking him in school will get him out of your hair but it won't teach him how to behave. If you don't do it now, it'll only get worse.
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    [Deleted User]neverblushedJ0C0TX
  • Does he go to school at all? If not, I definitely think a part time situation would be good for you both. Sorry you're going through this. I agree 3 is far worse than 2. We thought DS was a handful until we had DD (who just recently turned 2... we'll be in trouble). Love her to pieces but she can be a really tough customer. I agree with PP, just be consistent and pick your battles.

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  • I completely understand. My DS just turned 3 in January and has turned into a different boy! 2 was not bad, but 3 has been really trying my patience. I feel bad because I feel like the "mean" mommy always saying no and getting grumpy because he just stresses me out and makes me so mad sometimes. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way about my sweet boy! the only thing that has been working with DS is when he really is not listening or giving me trouble, I pick him up and bring him upstairs to sit on his bed with no toys in time out. He has a timer that I usually set for 2-3 minutes so he can cool down and once it goes off, if he has cooled down and not crying he can come downstairs and tell us that he is sorry and resume playing. I feel like all I do is put him in time out lately though and it makes me sad!
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