Attachment Parenting
Elizabeth043086
member
Very Hypothetical Question
Elizabeth043086
member
What would you do if someone spanked or hit your child. Just curious. I have my reasons for asking. This hasn't happened, just wondering how you'd handle it. I'm not talking like at daycare or something, I'm talking about with you there.
Re: Very Hypothetical Question
What an interesting question. I'd go nuts on someone if they hit my kid. I don't agree with spanking and I certainly don't want anyone hitting MY kid.
I won't speak to calling the police, as there are too many variables. But, as for approach in a "grey area" situation (one-time issue, normally non-aggressive person who lost temper out-of-character, etc.) : remove child from the situation. Stay calm as parent's retaliation might be more traumatizing than the event itself. Set some serious boundaries with the relationship. Talk (not email, though phone may be needed if the parent feels unsafe) to the person to work through the issue after enough time has passed to be able to old a reasonably calm conversation (without the child present) to assess if the relationship can continue or not and within what parameters. Have more conversations as needed (again, without the child present). If the child is of an age to process what has happened, there may need to be some conversations about their comfort level with the other person. If the relationship will continue, take things slow--mutually agreeable short get-togethers, optimally in a public place where the aggressor has no power over the situation but is there simply to build the relationship and parent will always be present and have the upper-hand in the situation. Re-asses as time goes on and the relationship improves or doesn't. Involve professional mediation help if needed/desired.
More Green For Less Green
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Thanks guys. I was just kind of curious. Mostly my pregnancy hormones kind of has me worked up. My mil is an evil woman and she was physically, mentally and verbally abusive to her own children. We visit her house once a week (mainly for fil). No time whatsoever are my children alone with her. You can tell she doesn't really like them and gets upset when they touch her stuff and constantly tells them no about everything. Can't stand the woman, but anyway. There will never be a time when she will ever be left alone with her, but sometimes if she is in the kitchen they'll run in too. Anytime they get out of sight I follow, but I'm just paranoid she'll hit one of them even if I'm there. Like I said, mainly hormones have me nuts right now. I doubt she ever would because she is a coward.
But I understand that to tell my parents not to swat my kids could cause tension. They might see it as me saying they did wrong raising me. My parents are and have always been wonderful. And they don't always see that changing ways doesn't mean they as parents were horrible.
My reaction: I yelled at him for the whole store to hear as he ran off. Told him to never ever touch a cart that had a child in it and that he should have excused himself and allowed me to move it. I didn't know he hit my daughter in the chest with the cart until after he fled in embarrassment. He scared my kids! And me! I was livid and shaking and honestly my first reaction was he was taking my kid! I should've called the cops or security but he left so fast.
Not exactly the same thing as spanking. But wanted to give an example of momma bear reacting to a stranger hurting her child. You will react, believe me.
I am not under the illusion that my daughter will always be an angel. I have no doubt she is going to mouth off. And if she does so to a stranger and is being a rude brat AND if I was around to discipline her... than yes. Pop her in the butt. If she is a teen... slap her.
8m not saying that I want a stranger to hit or beat my daughter but if she is being a bully on the playground or at school or somewhere else than the supervising adult is at liberty to do what he/she feels is necessary