Got told im OLD to have a baby...im 22!

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

VENT! Ok, first off I live in New Zealand in a small suburb of Wellington. In this suburb we have a really high pregnancy rate! Like huge!
but...average age is 15-19. Which os definitely the norm...im the only one out of my friends who doesnt have a baby, while most are on their 2nd/3rd. They all generally started in high school. But not me!
I was struggling with my nose bleeds and headaches and I was confiding in my closest friend who is 19 whos baby is almost two.
she turned and said "its cause your older, youll probably only have the one cause your pretty old to be having kids now anyways, it will take more out of you cause your not in your prime" OMFG! I almost died! Im 22! Not 52! Sadly though, thats what most people think!! I could barley contain my hormonal rage!

PerkinsFam3 · March 2015

Wow! Must be a local/cultural norm. I'm in the US (Kentucky), I'm 32, and expecting baby #3. If I'm remembering correctly, there was a post about age and the majority on folks on here are in the 27-32 demographic. I wish I knew how to create a "poll" and we could find out everyone's age & location. That'd be fun!

Also, edited to say that I hope your friend wasn't trying to be rude. I would have taken offensive, but of course I'm 10 years older than you!

irenejean · March 2015

Wow, I'm 33, so I must be ancient!

I'm sorry your friend said that to you, how rude! You're not "pretty old" to be having kids, plenty of much older women do it ALL the time!

sunnyd619 · March 2015

That's crazy! I'm 22 and pretty much everyone I've told so far has said the exact opposite. I live in California though. Crazy to hear about the differences and norms in different places.

Elecin · March 2015

WOW. I'm 31 and expecting my first. I think a lot of women in the US are waiting until their a bit older to conceive nowadays. What a cultural difference!

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

The main problem with our pregnancy age is the fact that 90% of the time its from 1 night stands and most mothers are doing it on their own and some have multiple babies to multiple men. Not all the time! Its nice when the couples go for the long run. But ive been with my hubby for 7 years..so it was kinda the next step for me and him. I think im young - also feel like a 1950s woman...very maternal and wifey hehe - and I certainly dont think anyone is to OLD to have babies. Got a such a shock! Your just not ment to say that!

excited2bmommy09 · March 2015

That's crazy! I'm 28 and here in California people keep saying "you have the rest of your life to have a baby. You're so young!!!"

Elizabeth043086 · March 2015

OMG. lol I live a rural part of the united states and they have a similar attitude too. I had mentioned wanting to keep having kids into my 30's maybe 40's if it's meant to be and my relatives looked at me like I was crazy.

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

Im definitely not in the average age for pregnancy over here, but women who wait and are my age and married or have been with their partner a while its actially pretty normal.. 20- 27 is the next normal age for women in nz

bpv101283 · March 2015

I don't want to sound like I'm putting anyone down for being younger. But me personally, I had my first at 28 and sometimes I wish I waited 5 more years. My 20's were so incredibly fun. It's fun being a mom of course, but me personally, I miss the days of little responsibility. I loved single girl years. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant now and can't drink alcohol socially, I'm probably having more of a pity party.

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

@bpv101283 I get it! Our culture really is most of the time you end up taming it down heaps by 25 and people like me well before. We party hard...far to hard normally since 16, by the time your 21 you slowly just get over it. Parties are hard hard before 22, no one knows how to control it and you just turn into a complete mess haha. I never got involved in that and my hubby is 4 yeats older so he got over it too. There arr very few people that go partying after 25 they just get tired of it

jenboston22 · March 2015

Wow! Yeah, in my circle the average age of first child is late 20s to early 30s (I am 29, pregnant with my first). In other areas of the U.S. the average age of first child is a bit lower, but still in the 20s (but more early- to mid-20s). I would never consider 22 as old in regards to child-bearing; if anything, I find it a bit young, at least in my circle.

ehgmorse · March 2015

Haha that's funny I was told the same thing. I'm 25 though. Didn't realize 25 was old to have a baby let alone 22!! I wouldn't take it too personal though. Everyone has their opinions. As long as the baby is healthy and can be provided for age shouldn't matter.

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

Haha I know! Its amazing the different ages that people have kids. When I first signed up here I thought I was apart of the average. There was a post "young mums help" and it was a group of women around my age! I was like what?? Because in my country the age is sooo much lower I didnt even think other countrys ha a different average age.
its why I never understood the show "16 and pregnant" haha. Its far to normal to have babies at that age...I never understood the pull for that show, then I realized over seas its not a common occurance

watermullen · March 2015

First baby and I'm 28! Live in WA in the USA and I'm actually younger than many of my friends to be having a baby. Crazy difference!

yessirio · March 2015

What!!!!! I'm sooooo old then!!!!! Like wtf lol
So I'm 36 w 3rd baby on the way I guess I'm a grandma lolololol jk
I think this post is so funny... honey I wish I was 22!!!!!
Anyway lol idk what else to say...

)

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

Hahaha @yessirio thats what I thought! What does that say about mums that start in their 30s! I know alot of my friends have the same attitude. Its definitely the first time in my life ive been called old!

shaunnar053 · March 2015

I'm 22 as well, in the US. I think 22 is pretty young to be having children in a general sense. Most of my friends my age are still extremely immature and can barely take care of themselves, let alone another human being lol. With that said, I've always been an old soul. Never was one to go out and party, it just isn't my thing, same with my DF. My love and I have been together since we were 14. We moved in together at 17, went through college, got our own place at 20 and started our careers (nice house with huge yard, good neighborhood), got engaged and are now expecting our first child at 22! I think it really depends on the parents. I understand that early twenties can be too young for the majority, but some 20-something's are more ready for children then some 30-something's, every person is different, everyone isn't a statistic. I say if your stable and mature, if you want children go for it!

>-

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

@shaunnarose im the same as you! Been with hubby since 15 married at 20, we have bought our first home (Definitely young for that over here) but partys wernt my scene. Maybe for a couple of months when I was 19. I always fantasized about being married to the man of my dreams, own home and a family. Ive got that now and I couldnt be happier. Everyone is different! some people want to wait some people dont just the way life is

Sweetpea192 · March 2015

Oh my gosh old at 22 well that's got to be a first haha. I wouldn't worry about what they say as above said if your stable and mature then go for it.. Oh and if 22 is old I must be ancient at 31 with baby number 3 on the way

honestly just let it go over your head and not let it bother you..

hollyk224 · March 2015

Whoever told you that 22 was considered "old" to be having a baby is an idiot. I'm 28 and this is my first baby. That person would probably consider me to be a senior citizen.

shaunnar053 · March 2015

@mrsnadiamitchell That is so awesome!!

It's rare that I meet someone in the same situation and mindset as me! Lol. We must be a rare breed girl

. Congrats on your pregnancy!! I bet you and your DH are over the moon!

It's nice to know I'm not the only one on this birth board with a similar situation. \:D/

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

@shaunnarose I pmed you!! I totally agree ladies, im certainly not old! Neither are any of you btw! Some people just cant see past their own circumstances! It comes from the best place, but its never positive. She got pregnant on a meant to be a 1 night stand and her and the father are still together. She seems to belive my husband will be just as useless as thats what happened to her. She disagrees with anything I will propose about parenting if she did it another way! Like she never let her baby sleep in her arms or anywhere but her bed ' I understand that some people do this, but her baby is really clingy and refuses to sleep anywhere but bed, which makes everything tough on her so I want to do it differently.but she openly hates that idea as I wont be creating a solid "routine" just gets a hit tough sometimes

megans35 · March 2015

I'm practically dead then. 35 and first baby!

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

It is a big crazy!

kissthebunny · March 2015

Lol does she seriously believe that?! I am amazed once again by how narrow minded some people are. However you did mention you are from a small suburb so I am assuming your friend who had her baby at 17 did not pursue higher education or in a professional field of any sort, so yes, people like her tend to have simple minds and generally a very black and white view (below a certain age is prime, above that you are beyond hope, etc). They cannot perceive the complexity of the world. Thankfully we are not them!!!

kehags · March 2015

I was 23 when I had my first & I'm 27 now while pregnant with my third. I only have a few friends my age who are pregnant or have babies. Sometimes I feel like I missed out on some of my youth, but for the most part I love being a younger mom! I cannot imagine someone telling me I was too old!

shelbydd · March 2015

That's insane! I'm 25 and have been told that I'm starting young!

jmacd22 · March 2015

I had my first at 21 and now 7 years later my friends are finally starting to have kids. I'm joining them as I'm pregnant with my 2nd. I was seen as the wild child for a long time lol but I live in California and with the high living expenses out here most people wait until they're older.

itsasapphire · March 2015

I had my first at 23 and a lot of people mentioned that being young. I thought it was perfect. Now, pregnant at 25 with my second is even more perfect. My dad was one of the few who agreed with me saying that if you wait too long then you're too old to deal with teenagers lol. He and my mother were 39 when they had me (4th born).

All in all as long as everyone is safe and secure, age has nothing to do with it. Being in the right mindset doesn't have a birthdate.

sphillips18 · March 2015

Oh goodness! If you're old I must be ancient. I'm 25 and pregnant with my first!

mathesq0 · March 2015

Wow I'm 24 and will be 25 when our baby is due. I've been with my husband for 8 years as of today (and knew eachother 3 years before that)and will be married 3 years on our baby's due date. I think people see me as young in the area I live. My mom thought I should have waited longer but I think being with my husband as long as I have really changes things...I have always been more mature but being in a serious relationship for that amount of time played a factor in when we decided to have kids. I will finish my masters before the baby arrives and my husband is military so we figured there would never be an "ideal time". Age is a number!

J0C0TX · March 2015

Ok! My that's it! I'm done!!
I was 33 with dd1, 35 with dd2. I am now 39. Oh yes older than the lot of you guys and feeling every bit of it.
I wouldn't change a thing because I'd never have met my husband or have the life I have if I had done anything differently. But boy - your friend would be gob smacked if she met me!!!

melewen · March 2015

Wow!! I feel quite young to be having a baby and I just turned 28! Pretty sad I say!!

mrsnadiamitchell · March 2015

Its an extreme different in cultures! She and other friends are so used to having babies in college its hard for them to fathom that there are people who wait until their 30s even 40s. Its sad but some people just dont realise it. Like I said earlier I was surprised I was apart of the "young mum" club here as its a norm age where im from. Its a bit crazy!

savwhit · March 2015

I would slap someone next time they said that. 22 is not old ANYWHERE to be having babies. In fact that is the prime age to conceive is in your twenties. Not 15, 16, etc. that's insane that someone would even think that? Maybe she was just trying to make herself feel better ? Anyways do not feel old even if you're the last to have a baby out of your friends. So what! You got to enjoy your teenage years to yourself instead of worrying about a little one running around. Which is completely fine.

missmandah · March 2015

I'll be 31 when I have my angel baby. I'm glad I waited till now. My SO wanted another before he was 40 (he turned 40 3 days ago)

serome3993 · March 2015

I'm 27 and having my first baby. Of course I live in the states and we also have a high birth rate. Most of my high school friends are already on baby number 2 or 3. I remember the first girl to get pregnant in school was when we were in 6th grade. I definitely didn't want to be her, and I've just waited. I guess it's in God's time. I know a woman who has 14 children. Last pregnancy was twins. She's also in her 50s now. She was in her late 40s early 50s.

cvweist · March 2015

Lmfao! Yea that's bonkers. Like a post before, must be a cultural thing. I'm 26 with my first. I don't think you are too old. Lol. Smh.

LadyJane083 · March 2015

I'm 31 and I feel young. My closest parent of young kids friends are 36-43.

lisahe1 · March 2015

I met my husband when I was 35. We got married when I was 38 and now I'm pregnant with my first at 39. I wouldn't change a thing and honestly I don't feel old at all. I was concerned about my age when I got pregnant and everyone told me that I'm still young and shouldn't worry. Even my doctor said that. Motherhood comes when we're ready. Whether you're 22 or over 40, it's your timeline, not anyone else's.

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