Things they don't tell you about pregnancy/labor. Go...!

MamaOwl15 · March 2015

I didn't have that bad of bleeding. I bled for 5 weeks postpartum, but it was like my heavy period days. I was in regular pads by the time I came home from the hospital (4 days Pp.). By "regular" I mean what I normally use when I don't use tampons, Always Ultra Thin Overvight pads.

Breastfeeding was a challenge and my milk didn't come in till day 5. But if you want to do it, don't give up! Nothing is better than looking down and seeing your baby smile at you while nursing.

audditty · March 2015

The extra gush of bleeding while nursing the first few weeks PP was awful. Made me cringe every time, but it got better.

Also: engorgement SHOCKED me. I knew milk would come in, but never knew I'd suddenly wake up with boulders on my chest. Had a "is this gonna be forever?!" moment. Of course, this improves quickly and you regulate based on babys needs.

jenn2132 · March 2015

After you deliver and the catheter is removed the nurses usually walk you to the bathroom and holy moly blood all over the floor! Looks like a murder scene but it's normal.

Newborn babies take FOREVER to nurse! Seriously you will feel like you are taking an hour to feed your kid but don't worry around week two they are much more alert and they start picking up the pace just hang in there!

And yes nursing causes your uterus to contract which is good because it's going back down to size but every time you nurse after delivery you can feel the gush of blood coming out and cramping hurts and pads well they just plain suck!

Lastly don't worry if your not overwhelmed with emotion like on the movies when they place the baby in your arms for the first time. When I was a FTM I think I was more in shock than anything and everyone around you is asking how you feel being a mom and your like " I dunno he's cute and all but I've only been a mom five minutes I don't know how I feel!" At first I thought something was wrong with me that I wasn't immediately feeling the bond. But later that night when all the guests left and it was just my sweet baby and I, I smelled that sweet head and held him close and WHAM!!! Instant love! And I never looked back.

LiveNLove44 · March 2015

When I was pregnant with DD, I think I was most nervous about PP. The pregnancy and labor/delivery didn't scare me because I knew they'd come and go as they do with everyone woman who has ever had a child, but knowing I'd be recovering with a new baby at home was really intimidating. Despite all of my working out, kegels, and random other preparations to make sure I was as ready as possible for L&D, my recovery was still really challenging. I tore substantially, and when people wanted to come visit, few remembered that mommy just went through a lot, too. I honestly think one of the hardest parts of recovery was trying to heal while "doing it all" at the same time. DH is super supportive, but pair that with sleep deprivation and it was a tough 3-4 weeks PP. It took me over seven weeks to recover and be able to wipe and go to the bathroom fairly normally, which no one warned me about. I wasn't about to bring my peri bottle to the mall with me, so that whole early-public-bathroom-using experience was a surprise to me.

Despite how challenging that part is, I clearly wanted to do it again. Why? Because motherhood is fricken awesome. It is so awesome that I would do it again and again and again. DD is the best decision we've ever made, and we cannot WAIT to add another to our family. I love being a mom, and my body did heal, and it will hurt and heal again. If that's what it takes to enrich my life to this level, bring it on!

AGMeeks · March 2015

This is a great thread. I agree with lots of what people said. With my first I had a third degree year and that was a big surprise. The first poop afterward was frightening, but ended up being fine. I *felt* like I was going to pop all my stitches, but I didn't. Recovery with #1 was much more painful than with #2, who was born with no tearing. Night and day. Also, re: nursing. I was told babies should nurse "every four hours," so I was super worried/annoyed when my first would sometimes want to nurse every 15 minutes. I wondered if I was doing something wrong, not producing enough for her, etc. Turns out this is totally normal. Think of your newborn as a little expert in getting your boobs to do what they need to do. If they cluster feed (multiple feeds back to back), they are turning up the volume on your production. Just don't let *more* than 4 hours pass between feeds.

MrsNichols14 · March 2015

Um hemorrhoids, engorged boobs, and the after birth, then the OB pushing on your belly to get everything out....ugh! I tore vaginally with my first and totally agree with using the peri bottle, I would put warm water in that bad boy! Haha! Oh and I took it everywhere for like 4 weeks.

The result is worth it though, babies are so beautiful. I would do it over and over again.

Telebell · March 2015

Echoing the crying and night sweats. I had a csection and was expecting a worse recovery. They clean out your uterus before stitching you up so there's little lochia/bleeding. I didn't have an appetite for a week and that helped with weight loss initially. But my milk came in later than it would have with a vaginal delivery and by the time it did I had given up on breastfeeding.

Oh and even though I didn't push a baby out, sex 6 weeks later still hurt! Not sure why.

Lexie Marie · March 2015

Totally not trying to freak any FTMs out... with this post. There were just things personally for me as a FTM years ago that I was so shocked too because they were the things you never hear about. Everyone's experience is and will be differently. Just because on person pooped, tore, bleed terribly, hurt to poop afterwards, etc... doesn't mean it will go that way for you. But just some things to be aware of so you aren't blindsided or in shock that is "can" happen. That is all

msjess1 · March 2015

I officially don't want to give birth. I just want to stay at week 12 now that I'm not puking or feeling like crap. I was already petrified, after reading these experiences Now I'm mortified!!!

aah1013 · March 2015

msjess1 said:
I officially don't want to give birth. I just want to stay at week 12 now that I'm not puking or feeling like crap. I was already petrified, after reading these experiences Now I'm mortified!!!

Don't be too worried! If it was that bad, there would be a lot more 'only children' in the world. It's so so so worth it and you'll be amazed at what your body can handle.

ljburrelli · March 2015

You're vagina will be man-handed by anyone and everyone during labor. If you were ever shy about showing your goods that will quickly end-between the your nurses and OB checking you to see if you are progressing.

rwedding0000 · March 2015

vamomtobe said:

Passing blood clots the size of golf balls - terrifying! I made a nurse come in and look at a particularly large one I was so scared. She was an angel.

LOL, that's it?! I passed a softball-sized one. I thought my uterus was falling out. Awful.

ljburrelli · March 2015

aah1013 said:

msjess1 said:
I officially don't want to give birth. I just want to stay at week 12 now that I'm not puking or feeling like crap. I was already petrified, after reading these experiences Now I'm mortified!!!
Don't be too worried! If it was that bad, there would be a lot more 'only children' in the world. It's so so so worth it and you'll be amazed at what your body can handle.

It's really not that bad! If it was-all of us mom's wouldn't be doing it again!

breisinger · March 2015

I swore I wouldn't do it again... and, here I am! Just remember that any nightmarish things happening to your body are temporary- and beyond worth it. My pregnancy hair was luscious last time and then it fell out in clumps after delivery. Also, my hard-as-a-rock porno boobs that looked as painful as they felt... I wish someone would have prepared me for that.

moonseeds92 · March 2015

As a FTM I absolutely love this thread. None of this is scary to me, it's all very exciting and the more I read, the better prepared I feel!

What I've learned on this thread that I haven't heard anywhere else:

- Labor is a glorious combination of pooping and a skydiving experience (scary at first, then you want to do it again)

- If you don't feel a bond with baby after delivery, sniff his head

- Milk doesn't come in until AFTER birth (sorry hubby, no taste testing until the hard part is over)

- Huge blood clots are normal (pretty much anything that goes on down there will be horrific and disgusting, and that's ok)

yoopermom824 · March 2015

I tore pretty badly with DD and things down there don't even look recognizable anymore. It's pretty disgusting.
I had no idea getting stitched up after birth would be THE worst part of the whole shebang. The doctors saying "Spread your legs, relax" and I'm like um, you're stitching up my hoo-hah and you expect me to relax?! I bawled in agony the entire time.

mocha4040 · March 2015

A few things:

1. You most likely poo during labor. Don't be worried about it. My first child I was so terrified of doing this and it kept me from pushing appropriately, which made the labor last longer than it needed too. My second, I just focused on bearing down and to heck with what came out as long as the baby did. And I did poo - but they're all professionals; they just move it away quickly like nothing happened.

2. During delivery - it's not the best smell. I didn't notice with my first, but between him and my second I was in the room with my friend while she gave birth - totally took me off guard. But think about it, all that has been in there for 40 weeks LOL. So with my second, my husband's first, that's the one thing I warned him about.

3. The peri bottle will be your best friend after.

4. Just let your body do what it was made to do. You will be absolutely amazed by what you are capable of; you will discover wells of strength you had no idea resided inside you. It really is a beautiful and amazing process we are going through. ( And you won't remember or notice the uncomfortable or painful things for long after your sweet bundle arrives.)

Birdee212 · March 2015

I second @moonseeds92 when I say that I really appreciate the "horror" stories being shared. Preparation is key!

apsparks09 · March 2015

First time Mom here and I thought I wanted to read this buttttt now I want to erase everything I just read

I said I wanted to be prepared and know everything lol but I dont know. This is all pretty scary to me. I have never been around anyone that gave birth. When my sister had her baby, she had to have an emergency c-section and they only let the husband back there. Afterwards there was a little bleeding but she was fine.

I really am terrified now lol! I hate being in pain and I am very.very.very.very tiny. I know our body is meant to do this Oh Lord Help Me! I really hope that afterwards I do not remember a thing Lol

Kara7787 · March 2015

I like to know what I'm in for, so I definitely appreciate threads like this. Doesn't really scare me, the unknown scares me, lol.

gabrielafrnqyepez · March 2015

OK so second time mom !! And I must say the beauty of it all is that no matter what the pain is u will forget exactly what the feeling is and go and it do again ... No matter how much it burns or hurts or gross or any of the things mentioned above and yes they will kinda hurt but like me grandma would say if it don't cost hard work or cause pain it won't be as good or as appreciated. God willing no one has a bad traumatizing horrible birth experience ! Other then that I promise you the actual birth happens in a blink of an eye! Before you know your Lil angel will be in your arms ams just like that the whole world changes ! Mother's have been giving birth since the beginning of time WITHOUT PAIN KILLERS!!!! We will all be fine !!! \m/

kburks09 · March 2015

I threw up during labor . I didn't expect that to be a symptom . I had diarrhea before I went to the hospital so I was empty and didn't poop during labor thank goodness . In my opinion once you get past the contractions , everything else , all other pain after birth is tolerable

satori15 · March 2015

I had a little tearing but only one stitch. Very little pain PP. Took some Motrin and sat on my ice packs and I was fine. The worst for me was the never ending "period". It was like six weeks of the heaviest period I've ever had. Yuck! And, I was anemic so I had to take iron, Vit C and Colace. Of course the first poop was a little scary but it was fine. What surprised me was how long it took my milk to come in (it was only 3 days but I was so worried). Breastfeeding for me was relatively painless- no bleeding nipples, no mastitis, none of that stuff you hear about. Pumping wasn't super awesome at first but I just had to get a different pump and I was fine!

valerierose15 · March 2015

Night sweats blow. Tucks pads are THE BEST! I was not prepared for that at all. I second the peri bottle. It will be your best friend.

valerierose15 · March 2015

Night sweats blow. Tucks pads are THE BEST! I was not prepared for that at all. I second the peri bottle. It will be your best friend.

BoomBarian · March 2015

Oh wow. I woulda LOVED a thread like this the first time around. I wanted to be so super prepared for anything that could have come my way and I gobbled up all the information I could about birthing babies. I watched birthing videos all the time near the end and although they ALWAYS made the emotions leak from my eyes, I was completely dry-eyed after my son was born. I think I was surprised at how NORMAL it felt. It wasn't a Hallmark moment and there was no music swelling in the background from sweet-faced cherubs-it was just on point. I instantly felt like a no-nonsense mom who had been there, done that. (I'm no ice-queen, my now nine year-old son can simply ask for eggs and I'll well up and squeeze him with no intention of letting go.)

No one warned me about the drive home from the hospital, either. I wanted to shout to every one on the road to be on their best behavior because BRAND NEW BABY ON BOARD. That new life is so precious and seems way too fragile to be in a metal box with wheels on a highway.

PPD. The blues I got were very surprising: I really missed my doc. It felt like a breakup. I mean, I was in a relationship with someone for 9 months, then things got really intense, and then I never see them again?! It was so sad! (Man, that may sound ridiculous, but it's true.)

All the other fun stuff that has been mentioned: the poops (who cares? I didn't), the concrete-block boobage, breastfeeding (getting thrush and breast feeding through bloody, yeasty, swollen, cracked breasts...yep)...it was the most insane experience of my entire, pitiful life.

I was also completely surprised about the pain. Worst pain of my life? Sure, if you could measure the decibels somehow. But also the most bearable 'worst pain of my life'. I am someone who would take morphine for a migraine if you handed it to me, and yet I planned a completely un-medicated water-birth.

One more thing! (I can't help it, I just adore this topic!) When we got home from the hospital, my great friend (and my son's Fairy God-Mother) met us at the house and was like this rad secretary I never knew we needed. She brought Champagne, ordered us dinner, fielded phone calls, straightened up, walked the dog...all things I would have done without thinking twice but let me tell you, it was so cool to just be able to relax and focus 100% of my self on the new tiny human I just brought into the world. Awwww....I can't wait to do it again. To all the first time Mammas: You rule. Your body is insane and will show you some crazy things these next few months. You will come out the other end a strong, bad-ass Mamma-Jamma. Fucken A.

spraklepea · March 2015

This great! Thank you for everyone who's shared their experiences. I had not heard about massive after birth first poops or the gigantic blood clots. If those things happen to me I will now be able to treat it as something normal and not a sign of doom.

Again, thank you.

alinic916 · March 2015

@BoomBarian love your post! Made me laugh and smile!

cstory316 · March 2015

If having an epidural, be prepared to pass gas loudly! The first time I heard it I kept asking what it was. My dh kept saying it must be something next door(I was on the end so no it wasn't)! I finally asked if that was me and he said yes! I actually laughed about it because I was so amazed that I had absolutely no control over it!

twogirlsandagreen · March 2015

If you tear your inner labia, it will hurt sooooo badly when you tinkle.

If you tore or got hemorrhoids, ask for a sitz bath and actually use it when you get home. It helps tremendously

aylove · March 2015

When your water breaks, it's like peeing yourself. And it keeps happening every few minutes. I was horrified. I had no idea how to get to the hospital without looking like I wet my pants, and no book had let me know it worked like that! I crotched a dish towel and off I went

)

Rachel623 · March 2015

This is not a what happens to your body thing, but something that was not explained to me well during labor. The heart rate monitor where you can hear the baby's heartbeat does not beep with every heartbeat. During contractions it got slower and then would stop beeping. I was terrified because I thought it meant there was no heartbeat. Baby was in distress but nowhere near as badly as I thought. It wasn't until after I had a perfectly healthy baby girl that a nurse took the time to explain that it beeped with every five or ten. I can't remember which. Not every hospital will be the same but heads up in case you have something similar. It was a huge scare for me and my husband that could have been avoided with a 30 second explanation.

dw1031 · March 2015

I never knew how bad tearing during labor could be. They had to use a vacuum to assist me when my son was born and recovering from the tear I got was incredibly painful. Thank God my husband was home with me for 2 weeks, I felt so helpless! But everything goes back to normal and you forget about how bad labor was.. which is why I'm having another!

adcoxmt · March 2015

I'm torn between being extremely glad to have read all this heads-up info, and being completely petrified! :-SS FTM and looks like I'll be a very single mom at that; I'm not looking forward to lack of help whilst healing AND taking care of a tiny human. But, at the same time I'm very excited to meet my tiny human, so I know it will all be worth it in the end. I just wish I had someone who I could count on to comfort me too! :-S

Lexie Marie · March 2015

...as scary as some of this is to hear (for those FTMs) I promise you, it goes by all so quickly. Your body is pumping adrenaline and other hormones, you will look back and think three things... 1)my body is absolutely amazing 2)these little precious treasure was worth every inch of it 3) Screw batman, I'm a MFing superhero!

Again, just because one person pooped, or tore, or had huge blood clots DOES NOT mean you will. Everyone is different and every labor is different. I'm on baby #3 and so far each birth experience has been night and day! I'm a rather petite (125 lbs, 5'5) and I birthed to 9 lb almost 10 lb babies. I was TERRIFIED to have my first who was 9 lb 14 oz but some how this little body of mine did it natural and I can only look back and think how amazing I am for doing something so great(and crazy)! ...and in a few more years you will turn around and want to do it all over again, because you realize your little squishy was so worth every bit of it.

valerierose15 · March 2015

^^^ I agree. It is terrifying when you're a FTM, because you don't really know exactly what to expect. You can only mentally prepare yourself for what you think may happen, but in the end, we are all very different. And labor is such a bleep in the scheme of things that it will be over before you know it.

zizoh · March 2015

I see you mentioned shivering during labor- but can you experience shivering for extended periods during pregnancy? I seem to go through moments where I'm suddenly so cold that I'm shivering to the bone! Yet I'm wrapped in like ten layers!

zizoh · March 2015

tuinstrab said:
After you give birth to help with swelling they will fill baby diapers with ice and you wear them as pads...it was great!

In addition to pooping during pushing yoy may also pee. I almost nailed my midwife in the face...it was hard for me to look her in the face at my post pardom appointment.

Ahahahahhaahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahshshahhahhahahah I'm sorry to your nurse but this is so funny I'm lol!!!!

)

zizoh · March 2015

Ohkay! Just finished reading all of that!

Absolutely amazing bodies we women have. Reading all this has made me excited about giving birth - i didnt know a lottttt of this and I think its made me more prepared for what can happen to you during and after, and somehow that makes it seem more manageable. Very grateful to everyone who shared their experiences - its def good to know, abt this incredible world of golf-and-softball (!) clots, hectic bad smells, titanic poop, squirty nipples etc etc etc!

May we all have a beautiful and Blessed birth and post birth experiences with the least amt of discomfort!

zizoh · March 2015

From The Bump: "8 Surprising Things That Happen After Labor" https://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/child-labor-delivery/articles/what-really-happens-after-labor

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