being selfish with breastfeeding?

crpsebride · March 2015

So ever since I found out I was pregnant I've been set on breastfeeding. I'm scheduled to be induced on Mon and now that we're so close to her being here, my one aunt is all of a sudden bugging me to pump so she can feed her.

I hadn't planned to start pumping for at least 4 weeks and even then only when I won't be around. I would prefer for her to be breast fed if I'm around to do it.

Am I being selfish with this or should she respect my wishes and let me do this the way I want to? I'm a FTM so this is all new and I just want to do what is best for my daughter.

nanyisona · March 2015

I don't think you're being selfish at all. This is the time when you are sharing a special bond with her and others should understand. Do what's best for you and stand your ground.

KD32412 · March 2015

Nope nope nope. Not selfish at all! In fact, making the choice to breastfeed is totally UNSELFISH! Do not let her guilt you into pumping if you are not ready.

ngolimento · March 2015

It is not selfish to tell other people that they don't get to make decisions about your breasts.

Seriously, your aunt is being massively rude. Ask her if you get to pick out her next pair of underwear and panties if she gets to pick what you do with your breasts.

erwallace089 · March 2015

Jesus! No you aren't being selfish at all.

I swear people are d-bags to pregnant woman and new mothers. The stuff I have read here and experienced this pregnancy is baffling. The entitlement! Smh

Amy and Jay · March 2015

You're not being selfish at all! Just explain to her that you are trying to establish a good breast feeding pattern and bottle feeding could disrupt that. There are plenty of other ways for her to bond with the baby.

myjessesgirl · March 2015

I agree with the above comments. Not selfish at all; its your prerogative and you can do what you want, regardles of the opinions of others. Especially since breastfeeding can be made more complicated if you introduce a bottle too early. Remind her that there are so many other ways for her to bond without having to feed the baby.

noodlienoodles · March 2015

I feel like everyone else is being really nice...

If my aunt said that to me, I would LOL in her face and tell her she's crazy. Something along those lines... It's actually incredibly rude and selfish of HER to make such an absurd request of you. Introducing a bottle early could totally throw off your LO from breastfeeding at all. LO might end up preferring the bottle over breast because it's easier to get milk from.

Stand your ground. Do what's best for LO because she's the only person you have to worry about (unless you have other children).

TwinsCitiesMomma · March 2015

If my aunt asked me this I would also laugh in her face and then just say "No, we won't be doing that, thanks".

cakergirl · March 2015

That kind of request from any family member of mine would have been completely ignored. It's a stupid, selfish, naive thing to ask of a new mom. Breastfeed your baby, concentrate on working with your nurses and lactation consultants to establish a good latch and supply. And ignore your aunt. If she asks again remind her you don't plan to pump til 4 weeks and if she wants to feed the baby at 4 weeks then so be it but that the baby won't be getting a bottle Til then. Your aunt's feelings/opinions on this topic DO NOT MATTER!

adelems · March 2015

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha ... What a most ridiculous statement from your aunt!! I would laugh and be like "you're so funny!" .. I can't imagine ever being told that by someone. It's your baby. Your nursing it. Family members can get over it. There is NO REASON she needs to bottle feed that baby. Good grief

LynnBrown4 · March 2015

You are not being selfish. If you have explained things to your aunt and she isn't accepting your point of view, she is the one being selfish. It's a silly thing to ask for in the first place.

erwallace089 · March 2015

Is this woman stable lol? She sounds a bit irrational...

nicolerae90 · March 2015

Thats so rediculous! Not selfish at all. And if you can hold off on pumping, do so. I badly wanted to EBF but DD didnt eat for 12-14 hrs after birth so i began pumping and she started with a bottle and didnt latch good due to the extra work a baby needs to put in for BF. Who cares what your aunt thinks. You do what you want. After all you carried and birthed the baby...your aunt didnt

kelseypie · March 2015

Your aunt sounds a tad unstable. Hell to the no. I would laugh.

Bostonchelle · March 2015

That's absurd!

LilLambkins · March 2015

Tell her there will be plenty of times that you will need a baby sitter and she can give the baby a bottle then. So much work warm or thaw the milk then after that go pump just so she can feed the little one. Doesn't really make sense to pump then feed.

aprilk86 · March 2015

Totally agree with all the other ladies! That is absurd to call you selfish when breast feeding is such a selfless act. It is best for baby to wait at least 3-4 weeks so they don't get bottle lazy and it's best for milk supply. Does she have children? Maybe she doesn't know these things...I'm a ftm but done a lot of reading

elizalegs · March 2015

I just love the collective outrage here. It is a ridiculous question especially for those who have been through the worry of, "am I establishing a good supply?"
On the other hand it's a COMMON question/pressure for many moms but I usually hear it from the husband.
Give her another way to bond. Burper, diaper changer, etc... YOU are the mom and please do not ever apologize for doing what's right for your kid!

klcarr19 · March 2015

You are not selfish at all!!! We are bottle feeding and right after labor I got violently ill from pain and lack of anything in my body. My in laws came in at 4:45am and said since I was sick they could feed my daughter. I went postal. Not only had my baby only been here an hour now you want to feed her before I had the chance. I said that if I'm not giving her the first feeding her Daddy was! And I also made it a point that they couldn't hold her in the post labor room because they had NO BUSINESS even coming in there. I was so delusional after labor I apparently gave consent but mark my word next time you are banished until the next day!

You tell your aunt That it's not about her it's about your baby and BONDING with you is the most important thing... Next in line is bonding with dad. So everyone else can get in line and wait their turn. You make the calls and tell everyone else which way is up.

I just realized I ranted a lot and got a little forceful with my response. Sorry I'll blame it on Post Partum I love my baby more than life hormones

crpsebride · March 2015

Thanks everyone for the responses. I've done some reading on breastfeeding too and read the same, that you shouldn't use a bottle for at least 4 weeks. She'll just have to deal with it.

Like a lot of you said there is other ways she can bond and her bonding isn't as important as me and dad bonding. Hell my husband hasn't even asked me about pumping so he can feed. He knows my wishes and is perfectly fine with it.

I'll explain it all to her and if she is still pushing well I guess she won't be allowed to see her in the hospital or until she can respect my wishes. Usually I would have no problem telling someone no, but I've been nothing but a pushover this whole pregnancy. Mainly because I get so emotional now when I upset somebody lol.

ashleyaprile · March 2015

Not selfish of you at all! You're absolutely right about waiting to introduce a bottle until breastfeeding is established which is usually around the 4 week mark. Babies are the smartest little things and know that bottles are easier than boobs. So....not to sound harsh, however, your aunt can suck it...Just like my family and friends who wanted to "bond" etc. Suck it big time. Our child bonding with my husband and I is far more important than bonding with someone who they might only see at holidays.

Stay strong! You're doing the right thing!

jenfl0res · March 2015

Deff not selfish! I started out breast feeding n when I got home I thought it would be easier to pump. Boy did I thought wrong! She got so use to the bottle she didn't want my boob anymore. I was devistated! But I just recently found out about a nipple shield n it works amazing! So now she's back on. I'm so happy. So do what u feel is best mama. Don't let ur family members get in your head. And speak up a lil if u have too. Let them know. I sure do. I know the feeling all too well.

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