No sex!

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

So I know our life's get busy, but we recently got married and we had sex twice after that and it's been like 11 days since we have done anything. I'm wondering if since I'm gaining weight my husband doesn't find me attractive anymore. He is still affectionate but nothing more. We have had a lot going on between work, in process of buying a house, and just getting married. But I don't understand this is the longest we have gone with out it, and it's making my confidence slide down because I feel like it's me.

suzienickles10 · March 2015

Have you tried initiating?? Maybe you can talk to him about it. Some guys can be scared thinking they will hurt the baby too if they have intercourse. So, I think sitting down to chat would be a good idea or try initiating if you haven't already.

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

I have tried, it's like he makes excuses. He says he's tired and I mean we do have the most opposite schedules. But I'm off these next two days so when he gets home maybe.

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

He still kisses me and loves on me that's not a problem

jenandbrett · March 2015

I don't think anything is wrong. It sounds like he is very much in love with you, just genuinely tired. All relationships go through different phases. Just wait this one out a little longer and I'm sure it will get back to normal. But defintely, talk to him about it if it's bothering you, open communication is key to every part of a marriage!

jesicabrennan · March 2015

BreezyMeema said:
If it's bothering you that much, you should have a conversation about it. Be open and honest, explain how the lack of physical intimacy makes you feel. Try to figure out a compromise. If he doesn't want sex, what about some cuddles or a kiss to let you know you are loved and wanted.

This. You will find the longer you are married that your sexual relationship will ebb and flow. ESPECIALLY after baby, so be prepared. But as long as you guys continue to talk about it then it's fine, it's when you aren't talking about it AND not having sex that problems arise. Be honest with him, have a chat, see what's up.

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

We did talk about it and he just said he's been very exhausted with everything that has been going on with our life's but it still bothers me and he knows that. I think that's why he still loves on me to let me know he still cares

suzienickles10 · March 2015

Stress is hard! When I am stressed and tired sex is the last thing on my mind and it's hard to get in the mood. Maybe try to have a date soon where you don't talk about anything 'difficult' and just have some fun!

soccermom12 · March 2015

We r the same way, my hubby is okay with it he just at this point needs to work past his issue of weirdness bout something growing inside me that's all. Sex does not show his love for me his daily I love u's and ur beautifuls do ☺ hang In there

jlsweets · March 2015

I feel ya, going through the same thing- we haven't had sex in probably 11 days or so as well but we are both so tired lately, he studies every night for a new certification he is taking for work as well as trying to start his own biz so the stress and exhaustion is there! As pp's have said, you go through ups and downs, especially with a new addition! Don't take it personally, I know its hard when your body is rapidly changing but I'm sure its probably the stress and exhaustion- hang in there!

koehn27 · March 2015

I had a similar issue with my hubby during my last pregnancy, and I sat down to talk to him about it because I was feeling really down about it. It turned out that he was just worried about me and the baby and was unsure about the logistics of sex during pregnancy. The best thing you can do is talk to you hubby!

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

He told me "I want to make love but I have to wait until I have enough energy", wtf is it like I'm a cow and I take up so much energy to have sex with

kngrimsley · March 2015

Don't feel bad over 11 days...it's been 4 months for us. Some men feel weird about sex since "there's another human inside of you"...it's a worry that they might hurt the baby or whatever or maybe he just really is tired. I wouldn't fret over 11 days though.

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

well it's just weird cause we never have gone that long without it as a couple. I mean actually we did when we long distance and that was for like 3 months we didn't see each other cause we had a lot going on being distance.

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

But we also communicated a lot through Skype

kngrimsley · March 2015

I understand. My husband is military and has been for 18 years. So to us it's not uncommon to go a month or so. Try not to let it weigh on your mind too much girl! Wishing the best for you.

SantistevanMommie · March 2015

Honestly it sounds like you guys have a lot going on right now, and he probably is super tired. I went through a phase where I thought my fiancé didn't want me anymore because I was getting bigger and I cried myself to sleep some nights but the fact is he is probably stressing twice as much as you about the baby and work and moving. Being pregnant can make you want it a lot at times and not at all at others. Just be patient with him.

Gooblin · March 2015

Have you tried just going at it. Like get half naked and start taking his clothes off... When my husband is to tired he won't object at all if I do all the work :)then once we get into it he's more lively but if I just ask if he wants to and just drop hints he's like 'can we just cuddle'. Um no I need sex even if it's just a quicky.

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

Finally did it and it was amazing and we did a small date night last night after our house inspection

ammc07 · March 2015

DH has been working 7 days a week and 12 hour days with a 2 hour a day commute. I KNOW he's been exhausted. The other night I started to cuddle in and he said he was too tired. I sort of just kept going and eventually he got into it.
It had been over 2 weeks before that and I was missing that physical connection. After we were done I ask if he was mad that I kept pushing and he said he wasnt, he was feeling the same way just didn't think he had the energy.
Life gets tough and busy but it's you have remember to fit in a little you two time.

katehenton623 · March 2015

It's been two months for us and we just found out that we are having twins so I have just resigned myself to waiting until after the boys get here. It is difficult sometimes, but we have talked about it some and he just really isn't up for it right now. We had a mc two years ago and he doesn't want to do anything that would cause issues. We snuggle when we get into bed every night and that just has to work for now. And to be honest, as much as I want it sometimes, I'm also full and exhausted and my body hurts, if I didn't have the extra hormones and I felt this way I would not want to have sex.

lesnchristina · March 2015

I am 19 weeks and we have had sex once since this pregnancy. It did not end pretty, with a trip to the er with bleeding, and time off from work. Now with other issues we plan to not have sex until after baby makes his/her arrival. It is frustrating for both of us too. But we just continue to be affectionate, and talk about it.

Hairdesignee6 · March 2015

I don't get why people bleed after having sex. I haven't had that problem yet but like I said we don't do it often at all anymore

ShondaJo · March 2015

Our sex schedule has been off recently too. I'm 21 weeks. We usually have sex at least once a day sometimes more. But since I've been pregnant we've had couple of day lapses. I'm tired a lot more than usual and sometimes our schedules don't always overlap like we like. And with me getting bigger I'm less likely to want to have sex somewhere crazy. So that limits us to times when we're home. We've been on vacation visiting his daughter. She is three. And it's been a depressing wake up call for how hard it will be with a kid running around. Even taking showers together is much harder to swing. Children might be the most effective cock block I've ever found. We've started planning strategies for after the baby comes to still keep the relationship steamy. Even our work schedules will change once the kiddo is here. We typically plan our schedules so we can spend every minute we have off with each other but soon it's going to be shifts to watch the baby. But I feel like if we don't give up fighting we will keep our love life where we want it. Just will take a bit more creativity. And much missed caffeine for me.

Rachelsbaby · April 2015

I have the same issue with my boyfriend I think he's just a little weirded out by having sex while I'm pregnant. I hope it changes but I'm not holding my breathe. It going to be a very loooong 9 months. Lol but like you he is very affectionate and loving. Best of luck!

bj1987 · April 2015

Know the feeing told SO today if he didn't give in than idk what's going to happen cuz I'm super frustrated about it he says he's scared to hurt the baby grrrrr lol

bukisilber · April 2015

From what I reviewed here looks like a very important factor was not mentioned. Men need sleep!! Especially right after anything major happens in their lives. And women? We need a good cry. Its healthy!

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