Husband lost his job. Numb........ UPDATE!!!!!

sjra1028 · March 2015

My husband has been working with a company for several years now manufacturing Nissan parts. They have a point system for attendance. If you go over those points in less than a year, then the system automatically terminates you per company policy. Well he didn't go in the other day because he thought it was a "volunteer day." He was wrong. The computer didn't let him clock in today. Several of those days that he missed in 2014 were because I was in the hospital with a miscarriage and they wouldn't excuse him for it.

I'm numb right now and can't even cry. My hours were already cut in half because of my being pregnant, so I can't support us like I used to. I'm scared half to death. I can feel my lil girl kicking furiously inside me right now and I'm worried it's because my bp might be up. :-( I'm at a loss.

UPDATE!!!!!!
Thank you ladies for all the T&P! Husband starts a new job tonight! He'll be making less money, but it's a start!! It's amazing how many financial scares can pop up in two weeks time!
Hoping and praying for the best! He's really nervous!

missmarissa711 · March 2015

I am so sorry to hear you and your family are going through such a terrible time. Things are hard. I am only working a couple of days a week and I know how it feels to not be bringing in enough. Having the other loose their job on top of it is a scary thought. But remember, things will fall into place. This will pass. The way you feel now will not be permanent. Try to remember that stressing over it (which seems impossible not to) will only add negativity to the situation. Be strong for yourself, your baby, and your husband. He needs you right now. I know this sounds crazy, but maybe this is a door shutting for a bigger and better one to open for him. Most importantly, breath. Breath for that baby, and breath for yourself. Reach out to family, and friends. Tell yourself you are strong and you will get through this. I wish you all the best mama. Sending prayers and positive energy.

ginaprice1975 · March 2015

Sorry you both are going through this. Have him file for unemployment, but to immediately start looking for jobs. The job market is picking up and there is no time like the present to secure new employment. Prayer's sent your way and today is day #1 so, try not to stress so fast.

j&gmiller2015 · March 2015

I'm in the same boat. My husband got laid off about a month after finding out I was pregnant. He was by far the bread winner in our family. I've been through all the emotions, anger, sadness, frustration. We had not told our family about my pregnancy yet at the time he lost his job. We didn't want to hit everyone with, I'm pregnant and jobless. We have since told our family about the pregnancy but they still have no idea he has lost his job. They would all freak out and worry. I'm worried enough for us all. We will sit down and explain it all when he has a new job. I can honestly tell you it will get better. He has been applying for jobs like crazy and can really see his potential at other companies. He is actually excited about the opportunity to further his career somewhere else. It has been a scary month financial wise, but it's just a small hiccup in the big scale of life. This time will pass and in a few months you will be holding that baby and everything will work out. I know it's hard to think that now. Good luck to your family.

JemHolo2015 · March 2015

I'm so sorry this is happening, I'm sure it's stressful. Would it help do him to talk to a supervisor to see if the decision can be reversed? Or is it completely final? If I were him I'd play the pregnancy card for every sympathy point he can get. It sounds like an honest misunderstanding.

If not, I agree he should apply for unemployment and start looking for something else right away. It may not seem like it, but you will be ok!

Miz_Liz · March 2015

I am so sorry you are going through this. There are a couple of things I would recommend, first, does he have a copy of the employee handbook with all of the policies, specifically the attendance policy? If so, what is their policy for disputing points? Very often companies have an appeal process, but there may be a limited window of opportunity - so he should find out right away and try to appeal the other day. He could also use the open door policy (assuming they have one) and just keep working his way up the ladder - I have seen this work in many cases. As for the days he missed due to you being in the hospital, find out what the laws are surrounding FMLA, etc. and if he qualified based on that - if so, I believe it has to be retroactive if you can prove with documentation and then they would have to drop any points he had accumulated. If/when he does go to appeal and/or open door, you should have him bring your hospital discharge papers for those other days with him as well...I would have him keep bubbling it up to director level. Good luck and I am so sorry you are going through this!!

sjra1028 · March 2015

JemHolo2015 said:
I'm so sorry this is happening, I'm sure it's stressful. Would it help do him to talk to a supervisor to see if the decision can be reversed? Or is it completely final? If I were him I'd play the pregnancy cars for every sympathy point he can get. It sounds like an honest misunderstanding.

If not, I agree he should apply for unemployment and start looking for something else right away. It may not seem like it, but you will be ok!

He's going back to talk to HR about it today. He's been really upset. It's making me sick

sjra1028 · March 2015

@Miz_Liz He's about to file the appeal paperwork. Praying it works

Miz_Liz · March 2015

FXFY - try not to stress, it isn't over until it is over, and if the outcome is not a favorable one, things have a funny way of working out. As PP's have mentioned, there is always unemployment in the interim.

sjra1028 · March 2015

Now my doctor wants me to rest the rest of the day because my bp is high. But I can't miss work.

such a crappy day

Miz_Liz · March 2015

sjra1028 said:
Now my doctor wants me to rest the rest of the day because my bp is high. But I can't miss work. such a crappy day

I'm sorry

Make yourself a virgin cocktail and pretend it is the real thing - drink it out of a fancy glass!!

holli0801 · March 2015

If his company is more than 50 employees it is forced to follow FMLA and his days off with you should be excused. It's worth fighting! But if under 50 they don't have to follow FMLA :-/

So sorry. File unemployment!

Also- did you want your hours cut in half? They cannot force you. That's discrimination..

sjra1028 · March 2015

I threatened my boss with turning him in because he cut my hours for my "well being" even though I didn't request it. He told me to go ahead. All that he'd do is keep me off the schedule, but on paper I'd still technically be his employee. I've been screwed over this whole pregnancy. I decided to keep what hours I had. Now, he's trying to push early maternity leave. I really can't do that.

taylorharber1108 · March 2015

I cannot imagine. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

jenandbrett · March 2015

I'm so sorry. Praying his appeal is very successful!

heart_of_virginia · March 2015

I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe my positive story from last year will help. At 8 months pregnant with our 3rd child my husband lost his job. I'm a stay at home mom so we rely on his income. We were one day (ONE DAY!) away from closing on our new house. Which the lender was immediately contacted by my husband's employer so that was put on hold til he found something else. My husband and I printed 40 resumes and immediately went out that day where he applied to as many places as he could find in his line of work (diesel mechanic). He started his new job two days later, we signed on our house 4 weeks later, and our 3rd baby was born 5 weeks later. It was a horrible mess, but everything worked out. I hope it does for you as well. Have him get out there and apply for jobs!

ChristyM87 · March 2015

sjra1028 said:
I threatened my boss with turning him in because he cut my hours for my "well being" even though I didn't request it. He told me to go ahead. All that he'd do is keep me off the schedule, but on paper I'd still technically be his employee. I've been screwed over this whole pregnancy. I decided to keep what hours I had. Now, he's trying to push early maternity leave. I really can't do that.

Wow. This isn't legal at all. I am sorry you are going through this

sjra1028 · March 2015

@heart_of_virginia Thank you! That gave me some hope!!! My doctor is running tests for preeclampsia tomorrow, so I'm praying he won't say that I can't work anymore! Idk what that would mean for my pregnancy and work were I to be diagnosed. It seems like it's one thing after another.

irohspupil · March 2015

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope everything works out.

I found myself in a similar situation. Two months after closing on our first house, my husband was up for a big promotion at work, and everyone told him the job was practically his. Then swoops in a surprise applicant who ended up being hired instead. After hearing that my husband did not get the job, I was told by the university I work at that I was being laid off at the end of May because of budget cuts. In the same week, we were hit with our insurance company telling us they would not cover tests my doctor had ordered ($11,000 worth). The day after that, my toe decided to get infected for no reason at all, and the title company we closed with screwed up which insurance company we were going with for homeowners, and now I'm stuck dealing with a company that doesn't want to let go of a policy I never signed on to begin with. It's one thing after another.

However, things worked out. The $11,000 turned into just $50; my husband has decided to start looking for work elsewhere and is excited by the prospect; and my mom told her boss about my situation, who sympathized, and it seems I have a good chance of becoming a state employee (wonderful benefits there) when I'm ready to return to work after having my baby girl. Me being laid off opened up the conversation of me just staying home with the baby for the first year of her life (maybe picking up a part time job to help with bills), and I'm now glad I may be able to do that.

I sincerely hope everything works out for you, your partner, and your baby

saraheve23 · March 2015

I have a positive story here too! Hopefully this helps: my husband actually got laid off, rehired and then quit his job last year when my daughter was only 4 months old! He then spent 6 months looking for something better and he got it, he is now happy with where he is and we are both so thrilled he got that extra time with our daughter!

sjra1028 · March 2015

I love everyone's stories!!! Gives me some hope! Hoping he'll get some good news tomorrow from hr!!!

louiseambrose · March 2015

I'm going through tough stuff too -- although with my family, not a job -- and a friend of mine said the other day, "someday your little one will look up at you and say, 'Mom, I don't know how you did it.'" And that thought makes it a little easier to be strong.

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