Throwing your own baby shower

PaisleesMomma · March 2015

I know this has probably been discussed but when I searched for the topic it wasn't coming up, so bear with me.
I am 27 weeks pregnant with baby two (and final baby as I'm getting tubes tied). Daughter is 3 1/2 and we got rid of everything from her as I was not planning on having anymore children. I am now having a boy. No one is planning a shower for me and I was perfectly fine with it at first as I know many don't have showers after the first. I am now thinking I would really like to have a get together for this baby. So, my question is....is it too tacky for me to throw my own? I'm running out of time so if I do I need to plan it right now and get some sort of invites mailed out.

SassFrass · March 2015

Yes. It is tacky.

louloutte87 · March 2015

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Us British just don't do these shower things, seems weird!

Just have a meet the baby instead... People can come have a cuddle and you can host it with a clean conscience.

What's the point of a shower? To get presents? Can't you just buy the stuff yourself? Don't get it.

nursej519 · March 2015

Very tacky to not only throw your own shower but to have a shower for your second baby. I agree with a meet the baby party but I would definitely not mention or expect gifts. People will bring them if they want.

greks84 · March 2015

Yes it's tacky and gift grabby. Throw a meet the baby BBQ once your LO is born. I'm not opposed to a sprinkle shower.. But someone else should be throwing it not you.

icajesica82 · March 2015

Yes it's tacky. It basically says buy me stuff for my kid. If you want people to celebrate baby then do a meet the baby party. But you should be the one buying stuff for your baby not other people. See if you can borrow bigger things or go second hand. That's what we are doing for baby 2. Almost exact situation as you except daughter is 3 not 3.5

ali0608 · March 2015

Just to agree with everyone else. Yes it's tacky. Invite over people once he's born.

saric83 · March 2015

Ditto all PPs. Do not do this.

FTArmyM · March 2015

Whatever...if you want to throw a shower throw one. If someone on your guest liat thinks its tacky they wont come. On a side note....stop living your life and making decisions based on what other people think. If you want to do it...then do it. Its by invitation not mandatory...if people dont want to come then thats their choice but dont not have one because you are worried about what people will think or what random women on an internet forum think.

laurexx · March 2015

FTArmyM said:
Whatever...if you want to throw a shower throw one. If someone on your guest liat thinks its tacky they wont come. On a side note....stop living your life and making decisions based on what other people think. If you want to do it...then do it. Its by invitation not mandatory...if people dont want to come then thats their choice but dont not have one because you are worried about what people will think or what random women on an internet forum think.

Agreed. Also gifts aren't mandatory at a babyshower neither is attendance. So do what you want to do. I don't necessarily think it's all that tacky because there's no rule that forces someone to bring gifts to a party people do that and come because they want to not because it's forced. Go for it.

mistyjewel88 · March 2015

It's not tacky. Don't listen to anyone else. If you want one then do it.

strbrrydlyte22 · March 2015

i totally agree. i don't think it's tacky at all. Whether it's your first, second, third or whatever the case may be. My husband & I threw our own baby shower for our 3rd child & it was great! I hosted a "tea party" themed shower for the girls & my husband hosted a BBQ for his friends & co-workers. I think it would be tacky if no one showed up based on the fact that you threw your own shower....what kinda ancient granny-ass shit is that?? If they're really your friends & are honestly supportive, then why would they NOT attend??

Plus, think about it: if you really wanted a baby and no one threw it, what are you gonna do...sit there and sulk just because OUTSIDERS CLAIM it's tacky???? I don't think so. I rest my case.

Throw your own baby shower girl!!

=D>

TBsquared · March 2015

Yes is tacky as hell...have a meet the baby party after he is born

lola2bee · March 2015

Oye this is a fun topic... There are usually two buckets of people - the ones who follow the etiquette rules which say this is tacky and the ones that either culturally/regionally or within their circle say its acceptable. This is like the crips and the bloods. No one will surrender. So you will need to judge the people you would invite. Are they going to view it as tacky and gift grabby or think yeah lets party? Only you know them!! Good luck!!

tots325 · March 2015

I feel bad for you that no one is throwing you one. If you want a shower, go for it! For those that say it is tacky, what is wrong with you? Are you not pregnant? If you were put in her situation, what would you do? It's not greedy, it's a celebration of a new life no matter how long it's been. Presents or not! I had my first baby many years ago and pregnant now, I'm having a shower! And if I have another, ill throw a sprinkle! So you throw yourself a shower and invite those people, if they decline, it just shows you who your real friends are (of course there may be valid reasons). People will visit after the baby is born, but personally, I wouldn't have the time to plan a meet and greet party with a new born as my time will be spent on the baby, and probably being tired all the time, so that would be the last thing on my mind. Don't worry about what others say, you do what you think is best for yourself! Have fun and party on<:-P

QueenVict0ria · March 2015

I don't think it's tacky. I'm throwing my own shower because I don't have anyone that can throw one for me. This is my first child so I wanted to experience a shower.my bf's Mom offered to throw me a shower with her family in Nebraska (I've only met them once and some of them I've never met) but i declined as i didn't want a shower with all strangers, none of my frIends and family, and to travel out of state 8+ months pregnant. pretty much everyone I'm close to doesnt have the time, money, or space to throw a shower for me so I'm throwing an informal shower/get together at my house and hosting it myself. and idgaf what anyone thinks about it and neither should u. It's not like ppl have to get u gifts. Even if they do it's been 3+ years since you've had a baby. Every life is worth celebrating in my opinion. Plus the ppl saying it's tacky don't even know u and it's not going to effect their life at all rather u do or dont so who cares what they think! Your life, your baby, your decision.

saric83 · March 2015

To clarify, I'm not someone who is completely against second showers as they're somewhat common in my circle. However, I think it's a completely different ballgame to not only have a second shower but to throw it yourself.

If you're wanting to just have a get-together with your nearest and dearest, rock on. But don't call it a shower. A shower is intended to "shower" you with presents. So if you want to play this off with the idea that gifts aren't mandatory, then don't call it a shower because the name indicates exactly that. I would NEVER show up at a shower without a gift since that's the point of that type of event.

People are telling you to blow off etiquette, and I would just caution you to tread lightly and consider that the whole goal of etiquette is to consider your guests' feelings. I personally think it screams, "I don't feel like buying this stuff for myself, so come buy it for me even though you already did this once before." Unlike just a get-together, which just indicates that you want to spend time with your fav ladies before the little human occupies the rest of your time.

CateOfChicago · March 2015

As others have said, tacky to throw your own and tacky to have a 2nd shower. Just use the money you would have spent on the party to buy baby stuff.

kirstikay215 · March 2015

Wow, so many stuck up sounding replies . How is it tacky to have a shower for yourself? If no one else can do it why not?? I'm throwing my own and using the money for the shower to buy suff wouldn't be much seeing how I spent only $50 on mine. She obviously isn't begging for gifts she is just asking for a little help and support since the baby was such a surprise. She wasn't expecting a second child ALMOST 4 YEARS down the road, she had no reason to hold onto the baby items after that. And as you know having a baby cost A LOT!!!

louloutte87 · March 2015

What on earth is a sprinkle?! Sounds like a wee that little boys do all over the toilet seat lol

#britishproblems

saric83 · March 2015

louloutte87 said:
What on earth is a sprinkle?! Sounds like a wee that little boys do all over the toilet seat lol

#britishproblems

Haha! It's a newer concept in the US for a shower for a second (or third, etc) kiddo. Essentially, it's a mini-shower, and I've only seen them when it's for a child of the opposite sex from the first, and people mainly bring clothes, and there is no registry.

strbrrydlyte22 · March 2015

@saric83 lol! you would think they'd know these things especially since they have such a big problem with the word "shower" for a second, third, fourth, etc...smdh...

sschwege · March 2015

Unless you are OK with wandering around asking people to buy stuff for you and/or your child then you should not be hosting your own shower, because by hosting your own shower that is exactly what you are doing!

In my circle showers are for FTMs, I have never been to a shower for a second baby and most certainly nobody hosts their own showers. I realize sometimes it can be seen as acceptable in different areas of the country and what not. But here's the thing OP, if you have to ask then chances are it's not done and you should not do it!

And as for the attitude of, 'who cares what everyone else thinks, people just don't have to come'. Several months ago a woman posted on the third tri boards that she was hosting her own shower for her second child and only one...yes one person showed up, her aunt. Can you imagine how embarrassing that must have been for her? I would much rather hear it from internet strangers than have something like that happen!

sailaplay · March 2015

Maybe call it a "goodbye to sleep" party or something to celebrate the new baby. People who want to gift you will and those who don't want to don't have to. You're throwing a party, at your expense and it's not unusual for people to give gifts to the host.

strbrrydlyte22 · March 2015

----------> and HONESTLY, whether you call it a "shower", "get-together", "bbq", "meet & greet" or "sprinkle"....whatever the theme or name, at the end of the day, guests will be bringing you & the baby gifts. That's the point, no matter what # child it is or no matter if you threw it yourself or not. People are too worried about "etiquette" & "how they will look in someone else's eyes" while they SHOULD BE worried about SUPPORT & they SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON YOU & THE BABY.

cocomumu · March 2015

I am new to the area. I only know a handful of people...people I work with. They have asked where I am registered and I told them. We are first time parents with our miracle baby and the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about inviting some people out for dinner for a small shower. Nope, I don't think it's tacky. Celebrate your new bambino!!! I think for those in situations like mine, new to the area, it takes the pressure off of your "new" friends.

kaceyd1990 · March 2015

This is my second pregnancy an ive thrown a baby shower both times mine is in a couple weeks. I dont think its tacky. Obviously different in diff parts of the world but where i am its quite normal to throw your own

strbrrydlyte22 · March 2015

THANK YOU! ALL HAIL THE NON-FOLLOWERS!! ^:)^

lisajewall · March 2015

I also believe that every life is worth celebrating. And if there is no one else to throw you a shower then by all means throw your own. You're not inviting strangers you are inviting close friends and family who likely are very excited for you and why wouldn't they want to celebrate with you and give you a little support if needed? Every mother wants a baby shower, and the people who are so against throwing your own probably were never In a position where they had to consider it. Do it girl, celebrate that baby!

lisajewall · March 2015

Also, these women claiming it's tacky and gift grabby to have a baby shower by a) throwing your own or b) having a shower for second baby, yet how many of these women had multiple showers for just one baby? Which I understand different sides of the family may want to both throw one but why not have just a second "meet and greet" or whatever. I mean if these women think it's tacky and gift grabby to have a second shower or throw their own yet so many of these same women are getting more than one shower for their baby? They have no reason to judge.

sschwege · March 2015

lisajewall said:
Also, these women claiming it's tacky and gift grabby to have a baby shower by a) throwing your own or b) having a shower for second baby, yet how many of these women had multiple showers for just one baby? Which I understand different sides of the family may want to both throw one but why not have just a second "meet and greet" or whatever. I mean if these women think it's tacky and gift grabby to have a second shower or throw their own yet so many of these same women are getting more than one shower for their baby? They have no reason to judge.

Your comparison doesn't even make sense. When you have more than one shower hosted for you, you don't overlap the guest lists. Which is to say everyone is only invited to one shower. As both a MTB and a guest at showers I much prefer smaller more intimate showers. It gives everyone a chance to visit with the MTB and the gift opening doesn't drag on and on. So yeah, nice try but it's not the same thing.

MommaMacri · March 2015

I feel like if no one has offered to throw you a shower by now, it's probably because their view is that this is your second baby and a shower isn't necessary. Personally I think throwing your own shower is tacky despite what others opinions are. This is my second baby and had no one thrown me a shower, I wouldn't of had one. I feel like family or friends will offer if they want to attend or shower you with gifts.

strbrrydlyte22 · March 2015

one like tho..... >:/

sassymama15 · March 2015

My family insisted on throwing me a "shower" this is not my first. Would be my second shower. I have a huge immediate family so I knew no matter what they would do something. Anyways I asked them to just please find some way to note on the invites that gifts are not necessary. So they put on there "your presence is our present, gifts are optional" I thought that was a cute way of saying it. I don't expect presents and for that reason I only registered for a few things like some blankets, toys and clothes. I was not going to register but they also put on the invites I was registered at target. Since I found out I was Preg I have been buying what I need little by little along the way. So I don't need much at all.
I think it's tacky to throw your own and expect presents however like others said if people don't want to go they don't have to.

cherindi · March 2015

Here in Australia it's the norm to host you're own baby shower, doesn't matter if it's your 1st 2nd or 3rd!
Just saying.

singer831 · March 2015

Throw your own party! Have fun with it... Who cares about what is tacky and who decides that garbage anyway!? We are strong, intelligent, independent women and we do what the f*ck we want!

lisajewall · March 2015

sschwege said:

lisajewall said:
Also, these women claiming it's tacky and gift grabby to have a baby shower by a) throwing your own or b) having a shower for second baby, yet how many of these women had multiple showers for just one baby? Which I understand different sides of the family may want to both throw one but why not have just a second "meet and greet" or whatever. I mean if these women think it's tacky and gift grabby to have a second shower or throw their own yet so many of these same women are getting more than one shower for their baby? They have no reason to judge.
Your comparison doesn't even make sense. When you have more than one shower hosted for you, you don't overlap the guest lists. Which is to say everyone is only invited to one shower. As both a MTB and a guest at showers I much prefer smaller more intimate showers. It gives everyone a chance to visit with the MTB and the gift opening doesn't drag on and on. So yeah, nice try but it's not the same thing.

Please note that I am not in anyway claiming it is tacky or gift-grabby for people to have multiple showers, but the point I am trying to make here is that maybe these women don't realize just how blessed they are to have people want to throw them not even just one, but two baby showers - and have the audacity to judge others as tacky or gift grabby for throwing their own when there has been no one to offer to throw them one. Maybe some women really need the support and help of baby items, or maybe they just want that experience of having a shower. And every woman should get that experience, whether they are throwing it or someone else. Also, just to note I'm not speaking out of scorn - I am blessed enough to have had someone offer to throw me a shower. I think showers are fun and a beautiful celebration and everyone should get one, or more

Yolypujals · March 2015

This is going to be my third child but the first one from my second marriage my sister in law is throwing me a baby shower. I had a baby shower for all my pregnancies & they were very successful I thought it was about celebrating a new life not necessary giving gifts I mean is not mandatory. My first bby shower I threw it my self because I wanted to experience having a baby shower I lost my parents at a very young age so I just wanted to share the joy of having a fam with my friends & his fam. I don't think is tacky I think is natural to want to share your joy & celebrate it. By the way your throwing a party some are huge celebration your spending money the least they can do is bring you a gift .

DMEL · March 2015

The entire point of a shower is to "shower" the NEW parents with gifts. So yes I think it's tacky to throw it for yourself and to have one for a second child. Throwing yourself a shower is equivalent to asking for gifts where I'm from

ashnelson9 · March 2015

There is nothing tacky about throwing your own shower!! My family all lives out of state and I don't really have close friends near me so I'm throwing a sip & see for everyone to meet my lo after she's born. I don't expect gifts but I would def appreciate them since I don't have any girl stuff. I have a 1.5 yr old son. My family flew from out of state to throw his shower so I already feel like my baby girl is getting the shaft:(

kjones0613 · March 2015

As a Mary Kay beauty consultant I am hosting a get together for my family and friends as it has been a long while since my last baby! It's more of a come and have fun event rather than I need stuff and want you to buy it type of party. There will be onsie making stations for people to decorate onsies and also diapers-we will have games and desserts and of course my favorite part- makeup stations!! Not even calling it a "shower" but there are some 'older generation' family members that like this sort of thing and would rather give you a gift at an event rather than just drop something off. And besides---you're pregnant and sometimes it's nice for people to dote on you and celebrate all of the hard work you have done!!! Like others have said- if someone thinks it's inappropriate then they probably won't You could even do it after the little guy gets here so people can see him.

Want a personalized experience?

Throwing your own baby shower

Re: Throwing your own baby shower

Choose Another Board

Search Boards