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Babies on the Brain
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#4?

jenner77jenner77 member
in Babies on the Brain
Hello all! I have a 17 yr old boy, 15 yr old girl, and 2.5 yr old boy. The teens are from a previous marriage. My husband has no other children besides our 2 yr old. I'm 37 and he's 44. So I had originally thought when we had our son I would eventually want another so we would have a "pair". But he was not open to that and I was fine with it. And out of the blue he starts talking about having another one a couple weeks ago and I'm all into it now and he is still undecided lol. How does that happen? Anyway... he first brought up adoption which I thought was strange. I've never had a problem getting pregnant (although I've never actually TRIED, it was always a surprise). He said he didn't want me to have to "go through all that again". And he is afraid of going through all that newborn stuff again. Not sure why because I have always exclusively nursed and he works and I stay home so it's really me doing all the work. I have easy pregnancies so no problem there either. It's just funny that he's the one that brought this up and he is still on the fence. So, that's my story. Short version. We have a great marriage and never even argue or anything. And he LOVES being a Dad. He wants our 2 yr old to have a sibling so he's not alone. So now I'm just twiddling my thumbs trying not to think about babies too much until he quits riding the fence! ;-)



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Re: #4?

  • andrea0418andrea0418 member
    edited February 2015
    Welcome! I hope you decide on what's best for your family! I'm sure the anticipation of him making up his mind is driving you crazy.
    I have 2 step daughters and a 19 month boy. We are hoping to start trying for another in a few months.
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  • jenner77jenner77 member

    andrea0418 said:
    Welcome! I hope you decide on what's best for your family! I'm sure the anticipation of him making up his mind is driving you crazy. I have 2 step daughters and a 19 month boy. We are hoping to start trying for another in a few months.
    Hi, thanks! I know he is leaning toward trying because he's not negative when it's brought up and I recently was trying to sell our son's too-small clothes on eBay and they did not sell at all, which surprised me, and I told him I wanted to pack them up instead of get rid of them and he said "yeah, we should, just in case" with a smile. We just don't need to decide right now because we don't want a winter baby and that's pretty much all we have for the next couple months if we try then. Plus we are going to Disney World in May and I don't want to be pregnant when we go on that trip. It will be exhausting enough without being pregnant lol. I'm hoping we try after that trip. And in addition to this, he may be getting a promotion/transfer to NC and we are in GA so we would be moving and I think that may happen sooner rather than later and I would prefer we move first before being pregnant.

    In the meantime I am learning how to chart my cycle. Kind of confusing but hopefully I get the hang of it.



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  • jenner77jenner77 member
    So we've been trying to plan this trip to Disney World, and I want to go sooner rather than later because if we do decide to try I don't want to be pregnant when we go. So I told him this morning this is why I don't want to wait until later in the year to do the trip and he seems like he has backtracked. He really feels like he is too old to be having another child (he just turned 43). He doesn't want to be having a kid in college when he is 65. He says his MAIN concern is that we will end up having a child with special needs. I don't know why he is so afraid of that. There's no problems in either of our families with that. I'm taking vitamins & drinking tea, etc so those bases are covered. I'm only 37. So... now for some reason I feel devastated. It was hard not to cry during that discussion this morning. I wish he had never brought the whole thing up to begin with.

    Now I'm really upset and trying to figure out how not to be. Now I'm concerned about our 2.5 year old being pretty much an only child growing up and I was an only child until I was 9 and I absolutely hated it. None of my cousins lived in the same state and I lived way out in the country with no kids around me and I was ALWAYS bored and playing alone. Ugh.

    He's not totally off the fence but he definitely seems to be leaning against the idea. He did realize I was trying not to cry and was surprised I was so upset. I told him it would be ok, I just have to mentally back out of these "woods" I've been in.



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  • 4N6s4N6s member
    Good luck.
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  • andrea0418andrea0418 member
    I'm sorry he's going back and forth deciding.
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