Can I come play with you?

Allie-Jo · November 2014

I haven't been active really anywhere on the bump for two years almost, and I think it's because I was terrified of this.

A little bit about me, I've been married just over 5 years, and the minute I was married, DH and I wanted to have a baby. We tried and tried like mad, did two years of fertility treatments and gave up when the insurance would no longer cover it. We had about 20k saved up in retirement, so had a choice to make, 1 round of IVF or adoption. We thought adoption would be hour most sure bet, even if the wait would be forever. Two years into the process and getting an email explaining the decline in agency assisted adoptions, we officially decided last week to not renew our homestudy, but to finally "move on". Our home study expired today.

I keep hearing "who knows, maybe you will wind up pregnant on your own!" After five years of unprotected sex, and only winding up pregnant with medical intervention, just to suffer two losses, I doubt it very seriously. There is a VERY small possibility that in the future we might look into foster care, but I've been trying to feel inspired to do it the last year, and I haven't gotten around the pit in my stomach when I try, so I am hoping I can find support here from women in the same boat.

I can see that this board isn't overly active, so I plan on coming back in a couple of days. If you guys have a secret facebook group or online chat I might be able to receive as well as give more support, I would very much like to be apart of it, but would totally understand if everyone would prefer to get to know me here for a bit first. Hope to "see" all of you soon

Allie