Snarky response to announcement...

MsTeaBlaze · March 2015

I haven't even made a public announcement yet and my mom has been my toughest critic yet. I let her say all she had to about why I shouldn't be prego. But that's all ladies. Next time I'm getting a lost signal. This my second kid and I been a teacher for over ten years. Nobody's perfect and others need to understand that.

KLCARTER55 · March 2015

I'm having a really hard time telling people things that I am excited for (this is our first baby). For example, I get excited about folding onesies, I post on FB about this and then get flooded with "don't worry, it gets old" "you'll grow out of that stage" or the dreaded "it'll get worse." Is it too much to ask for people to just let me be happy with these little things in life. Why do others feel the need to take something positive and turn it in to something else. I know this may seem small to some people but to me, the new little things I get to do, are all big in this exciting journey with my husband.

lolad5 · March 2015

I've gotten everything from "is this a good thing?" To if you have a girl and I have a boy I'm going to hate you" to "wtf". People are jealous and mean. A baby is such a blessing. I ignore it all. I'm happy and that's all that matters.

sabward · March 2015

My mom will call and ask how I'm doing and if I even have the slightest complaint (and it's been a TOUGH 10 weeks!,) she likes to point out how easy her 3 pregnancies were and how perfectly everything went for her. She also mentions all the time how huge it was that she was able to have 3 natural deliveries and I had to have an emergency c-section with my first and will have another with this baby! Like she's a tougher mom cuz she went through longer labor! Has anyone else recovered from a c-section? It's pretty damn tough too. She's been a really shitty (sorry for the language) mom and didn't raise us after my brother (the youngest) was 9 yrs old. She was in prison. Still she is so judgmental of me and has this warped idea that she is some fantastic mother.

PregNancyClark · March 2015

I'm sorry Sabward. It sounds like she's pretty self centered. Maybe with the mistakes she's made, her ability to birth you guys is the one thing she can be proud of. Thumbs up to you for retaining the relationship and continuing to include her. You're a good daughter.
If you can continue to love her expecting nothing in return, go for it. It isn't easy. But you'll be blessed.

shaunnar053 · March 2015

@MommyofKandM I can relate. I'm sorry you have to deal with the snarky comments. It really is exhausting. I've found its best to just distance yourself from negative people like that.. Unfortunately rude and inconsiderate people aren't going to change, especially if they're great grandmas and STILL acting like immature highschool girls. Keep your head up girl.

LoveLee85 · March 2015

I have a weird situation going on:
I just told a friend I'm expecting and I am a FTM and I'm being anal about following all those 'rules' LOL!!! I can't help it, it's how I am. This shouldn't be a big deal because it only involves me and my unborn baby,right?? Well I have a friend that has never had a baby, that keeps giving me the worst time about trying to do the right things. She keeps talking about how her SIL didn't follow any of those rules and had a healthy baby. It's like she thinks I'm making this stuff up?! I said I can't take hot baths...she looked at me like I was an idiot and said: "That isn't true because I have never heard of that! My SIL owns a hot tub and went in it all the time and she had a perfect baby. Your midwife is nuts. Switch to someone else!!"

Here is the kicker, I'm not asking for her advice?!?!! I'm simply saying things I can't do or I'm answering her questions! Then she thinks I'm making them up. It's beyond annoying. Apparently her SIL drank 6 soda's a day while pregnant, also! Guess what? I don't care. If something happens to my baby and I think it was something I could have prevented, I would feel TERRIBLE forever!

I guess I just don't understand why she's so snarky about things that don't involve her...and I'm trying to do the right thing here. I chose to be pregnant and I'm MORE THAN WILLING to make sacrifices for this baby I'm growing. For F's sake. Why are people jerks?!?!

Sorry, that was MAJOR venting.

PreggersinParis · March 2015

@knitttingmama it doesn't really matter. I think the mention of NYE the night before was a tip off I had made mistake (hey, it happens!) Just wanted to open the forum to share stories, which looks like it was a great success! I hope we all got a few things off our chests!

kjs08 · March 2015

I haven't had anyone not be happy for me, but my husband did make a comment to me yesterday that I was thinking wtf?

Background: I'm a personal trainer/fitness instructor, currently am an interim health and fitness coordinator for someone who's out of maternity leave (funny, right?). I lift weights and workout for a living. I'm also an avid runner when it's not horribly cold and icy out. I also have a bad neck and back from a car accident in 2007 so strength training is the only thing keeping my pain under control and me out of physical therapy.

My OB told me that I was fine to keep doing what I was doing before I was pregnant for working out, but not to lift heavy weights and while I can't remember if he gave a number, all I could think was 'define heavy to a trainer.' So my husband said to me that I need to stop lifting heavy weights because I'll get hurt (this was said after I carried a 35lb bag of puppy food to the car). My response to him was that I'm more likely to get hurt sitting on my butt and doing nothing than lifting weights properly and that I was perfectly capable of still doing a lot of the same things I've been doing. I refuse to do nothing one, because I'm subborn and two, I don't want my back and neck to go back to what they were a few years ago. If I can still lift a 45lb plate safely, then I will, but don't tell me to do nothing. I know I will need to modify and make adjustments the further along I am, but I'm not there yet. Coming from my husband, who's in the recreation field like me, was just infuriating. I know what I can and can't handle, and what I can and can't do for exercises, but seriously, this is what I do for a living and I know far more about fitness than he does, especially since I'm working on specializing in prenatal and postnatal fitness.

Boy that felt good to rant about!

WDDCH · March 2015

Your friend sounds jealous!

The only thing we heard, that was said in jest from a guy friend, was "get a hobby!" We are pregnant with #6. He always says something like that when we are expecting. Eye roll!

I'm kind of a hermit when pregnant. And I don't have girlfriends because I hate the drama or I'd probably have similar jealous remarks like you got.

Go publish your book this year, have that baby and accomplish a ton - with a smile on your face.

raspell · March 2015

I have a friend that I am literally afraid to tell because I feel like she's going to pull something. I know for a fact that she is going to be upset that I haven't told her yet and will be waiting to tell her when we tell everyone else- but she can't keep a secret to save her life and she can be SO overbearing. Honestly, if I could tell the world and get away with not telling her, I'd do it. Sounds awful, because she is my friend, but she's one of those "frenemy" type friends that often says things that are sort of undercutting. I've really separated myself from her, especially since I got pregnant, but I just know she's going to act a fool.

Truth7788 · March 2015

Wow looking at some of these stories some people are just rude and seem so jealous.. pregnancy should be something people should be really happy for you about..

jennasighed · March 2015

☺️

jennasighed · March 2015

KLCARTER55 said:
I'm having a really hard time telling people things that I am excited for (this is our first baby). For example, I get excited about folding onesies, I post on FB about this and then get flooded with "don't worry, it gets old" "you'll grow out of that stage" or the dreaded "it'll get worse." Is it too much to ask for people to just let me be happy with these little things in life. Why do others feel the need to take something positive and turn it in to something else. I know this may seem small to some people but to me, the new little things I get to do, are all big in this exciting journey with my husband.

Continue to enjoy your new adventure! People are rude and jealous. Don't let them steal your happiness.

michcoy85 · March 2015

My boss asked me if I was happy about being pregnant when I told her. Half my family hasn't acknowledged we are pregnant after receiving the announcement ( I can see they opened it so know they have)! Reading all of the above has made me feel better though, I am not alone! Thanks for sharing everyone! And congrats to everyone as well! Enjoy every minute

schnischwi · March 2015

I can't believe the things people say. I try to hope that it is only because they are going through something themselves.

When I was 8 weeks, we went out to dinner with my husband's good friend and wife. I was dying at the table, taking as much ginger as possible and wearing my seasickness bracelets. Finally, I couldn't take it and gave my husband the "its ok to tell them sign" so I could get a bit of relief by getting up and running to the bathroom for awhile.

It was the weirdest reaction. A "oh......thast nice". Then the woman looked at me and said "uggg everyone I know is like getting pregnant" with a look on her face that said seriously why did you ruin my night by having to hear about this junk. The rest of the dinner if my pregnancy was brought up for a second their facial expressions changed and we got the "seriously, please dont make us hear about your baby" look.

A week later my husband was talking to his friend and found out that he hopes his wife is pregnant by Summer. It made me wonder if they were having issues or disagreements on having children and our news just brought it to the surface. No matter what we are happy but come on, you could atleast fake it, especially woman to woman

PreggersinParis · March 2015

@jennasighed Please just drop it. It was obviously a misunderstanding (my fault) which I noted happens. This board is fantastic and are the ladies who are participating. Let's keep up the good work!

KimsWorm · March 2015

I have had 2 friends give me hell for being pregnant at 40... and for being pregnant period! Moral issues waving all around with one, and the other telling me over and over and over that I am doomed to miscarry... SO annoying.

JoanneD210 · March 2015

It really is sad and disappointing to think about all of the mean and hurtful things that many friends and family members have said to all of us Moms to be about our great news. I recently experienced it myself and it is kind of driving me a little nuts because I was so hurt. I have a best friend that has been trying for about five years to start a family. I have been someone she has talked to, called and lent a shoulder to lean on when she needed to talk to about the newest medication or procedure that her and her husband have tried that hasn't yet worked. I've come to the conclusion that everything has to be centered around her because even last year when picking out bridesmaid dresses, she didn't want to commit to ordering the dress until the last minute because she said she might be pregnant and would have to order a new size. Finally, about 6 months before the wedding- she caved and ordered a dress for 2 sizes bigger in hopes that she would be pregnant and if it didn't happen, the bridal shop said she could exchange it for a new size 2 months before. That all worked out but in a time where your thinking happy thoughts and getting ready to get married, you would think that your MOH would try to support you in a happy time. I have been a very understanding friend. Fast forward to recent.... I knew how she is and she always said if it happened for me for me to call her and not tell her face to face. We talked on the phone before my birthday and after about an hour of catching up before hanging up, I had to let it out... I started, "I just want you to know that I have to tell you something and what I have to tell you is one of the hardest things that I have to tell you but one of the happiest". I then told her and it was dead silence... finally she uttered oh.... wow.... I am just shocked.... I guess congrats. She then went into this is just so hard because you know this is so hard for me and we have been trying and everyone is pregnant and....

I have and was completely sensitive to her issues but I would of expected atleast a congrats. I knew before hand that if I told her before my actual birthday that she wouldn't want to be near me or celebrate and while I was hoping I was wrong, she did not show up to my 30th birthday party, claiming that she had a headache even though I know she didn't and just didn't want to be around me. It's sad to think but at this point, I am leaving her alone and I can not text her. While I completely understand her side, I just wish that she could be there and see how hurtful she has been to me and my future baby. Just remember that we are here for each other and I feel like this is a safe place where I have been able to get this off my chest to start to let go of how hurt I have been.... It is true- this is our time to celebrate our soon to be bundles of joy!!

If people are not going to be positive then we don't need them around at this time in our lives.

LoveLee85 · March 2015

@JoanneD210 that is such a tough situation. I'm sorry your friend can't at least pretend to be happy for you. She needs to realize she's just pushing away the people who love her and care about her.

mrscate88 · March 2015

Hang in there ladies, just 7 more months of snarky pregnancy remarks...then comes the parenting advice haha!

cnaffz · March 2015

You should be proud of yourself! It sounds like jealousy to me. I hope you get rich of your book!!!

MrsPyrowiz · March 2015

@mrscaterosales I'm already getting more parenting advice than I ever wanted. Lol I know it won't, but I'm hoping it ends. Or at least that people listen to my husband and I about how we want to raise our child. Lol

mrscate88 · March 2015

Oh me too @MrsPyrowiz I'm a FTM, but I raised my niece for 4 years while her mom was in prison and have also been a part of the "village" that it takes to raise a child with all of my cousins, niece, and nephews. I've been taking care of kids since I was 13 years old. I'm confident that I will be a good parent, I'll make my mistakes, I'll need help sometimes, and I know there is nothing like raising your own child. Regardless, the unsolicited advice really gets old and I'm constantly treated as if I need guidance on every little step of parenting. One woman asked me yesterday if I knew about "tummy time", since it is so important for infants. Of course I knew, but if I need help, I'll read a book, take a class, or ASK. If I don't do any of those things, please leave me alone. This mommy life comes with a lot of interesting baggage

RunCarol · March 2015

This cracks me up because I think I too have done well about 80% of the time but something called me to long john silvers last week and I had to have it! I haven't been there in years! Everyone just said "of all the things to pick from, you wanted long john silvers?"

RunCarol · March 2015

Doomed?! That makes me so sad people feel the need to say those things. Best oh health to you both @KimsWorm

LoveLee85 · March 2015

RunCarol said:
This cracks me up because I think I too have done well about 80% of the time but something called me to long john silvers last week and I had to have it! I haven't been there in years! Everyone just said "of all the things to pick from, you wanted long john silvers?"

Hilarious!! I haven't been in FOREVER either!

toderiukt · March 2015

@LoveLee85 I would have said something, but I was just sooo taken aback and shocked.

KissMeImScottish · March 2015

I've actually had all positive reactions, although my brother is grossed out by the whole concept of his sister having a baby because he's weirded out by the thought that I, as his sister, had to have had sex to make this happen and is generally weirded out by female anatomy in general, although he's the first to admit that that is because he is gay.

That said, I had a negative reaction from one of my best friends BEFORE I got pregnant. when she heard my husband and I were trying, but that instill had plans to travel and see the world, she basically said, why would I want to give up all of my plans to travel and essentially give up my independence and lifestyle "just" to be a mom. When I pointed out that my parents were never hindered in travelling with the three of us and that they never felt burdened by a family, she said, "well, that's because they had money". I found the whole conversation just very insulting and condescending as well as demeaning. What made it worse was that she made these comments with the knowledge that my husband and I struggled with infertility and had been trying for a year without success. It was incredibly insensitive.

She says she's excited for me now that we've told her, but that conversation just makes me wonder if she said congratulations because she's actually happy for me or if it's because that's what you say to pregnant women. It put a sour taste in my mouth I general about the whole interaction with her, which is sad, because she really is one of my best friends.

jbettles · March 2015

Love reading these stories! Overall, since this is our second and the siblings on both sides are all done having kids, it has been pretty smooth sailing. The only odd reaction to our announcement came from my in-laws. It was a Sunday, and I drove out of town to buy a home pregnancy test. In laws were visiting my husband, and I guess he was anxiously watching for me. They left before I got home, I took the test, and we announced to both parents that night. His dad actually got mad at him for not telling them while they were visiting earlier - never mind that I wasn't there and that we didn't even KNOW yet! He was ok when we explained it all. But then, after our parents all knew, we each called our siblings. Hubby's brother's reaction was, "So mom n dad have known for like a week already, I bet?" He also congratulated us but I still found it weird he was hung up on whether he was "first" to know or not!!

Jeanne & Dustin · March 2015

@mrscaterosales I know exactly what you mean about receiving advice you didn't ask for! People have been giving me parenting advice since before I was pregnant. I just want to tell them I'm not them, and just because they did something a certain way doesn't mean I'm going to/want to.
One lady at work had the audacity to tell me I should reconsider having children (like you, I helped raise family members since I was 12 because of issues, and it's been since then that I knew I wanted kids some day), I was polite and asked her why she would tell me that and she said (I'm not kidding!!): "if I could go back in time and not have my daughter, I would". WTF?! And get this, now she and her new hubby want to adopt a son. Let me get this straight, you don't want your daughter, but you'll adopt a son? Some people. Rant over lol

LoveLee85 · March 2015

toderiukt said:
@LoveLee85 I would have said something, but I was just sooo taken aback and shocked.

I'm just sorry you have to hear that type of stuff!! Being pregnant is worrisome enough without that type of talk. Hope things are better!!!!

sarahannexvi · March 2015

When I told my cousin, she cried in excitement. When I told my sister and SIL, they said they were excited but in shock which is why they couldn't cry. When we told my parents, my mom literally jumped for joy and my dad fought his best to hide back the tears. When we told his parents, FIL hugged us and said how it was so cool and he was excited. MIL hugged me then SO congratulating us then sat back down, barely had anything to say or ask other than how far along I was. What's up with the MIL reaction?! Then again this is the woman who treats her niece's son like he is her actual grandson so this probably isn't even a big deal to her. So annoying and rude!

MiromiM · March 2015

Now that I hit 12 weeks, my DH and I are announcing to the world. I told both my father and grandparents (his parents) earlier this week. Perhaps it was my fault since I was a bit apprehensive as my family isn't the most tactful... okay isn't tactful at all. I was pretty hurt when both parties asked "if it was a surprise". Unlike my mom, they don't know I went through IVF but I did hint afterwards that we needed help. What I wanted to say was "Yeah, it was a surprise... that after peeing on sticks for almost three years that this time it actually worked!" Seriously who asks that!? Apparently, my family does.

kehags · March 2015

I just called my grandmother, and kind of knew what her response would be. I said something like oh I have exciting news for you, we are expecting again & she goes "oh I got so nervous!" Wtf nervous about what?! She said the same last time. She also said congratulations but I'm really not sure what her deal is.
Looking forwards to listening to DH tell his mom. She likes to talk about what a miracle it is, and tell us how his sperm is magical and how amazing it is that his sperm met my egg.....lady is crazy.

toderiukt · March 2015

@LoveLee85 things are better now. If she brings it up again though I'm going to say that I don't appreciate that kind of talk when I'm already insanely nervous, and scared about everything as a very first FTM. Thanks for your support

Jeanne & Dustin · March 2015

@MiromiM, we had similar reactions! My husbands side reacted "finally", or "it's about time", which is really irritating since we've been trying for 1.5years, and recently found out I have PCOS, so we needed some help. Unfortunately, I know a lot of other people will have the same reaction - we have been trying people! lol The last year has been rough with people asking "are you pregnant yet?" or "it's it about time for you to have kids", or "will you hurry up and get pregnant" GRRR haha can't wait until they see the announcement!

cmjlee90 · March 2015

Maybe I'm just a mean pregnant lady, but any time I get snarky comments, I give one right back. "Didn't you learn how babies are made?" "I guess they didn't offer me that class, much like you weren't offered the class on how to keep your trap shut if you can't say anything that isn't rude." 25-27 weeks to go!

dulcineasnicklefritz101 · March 2015

My boss has known I'm pregnant for over 2 months now. I work in a busy restaurant. He asked me to work a night shift yesterday, and I told him I would try, but I was worried I wouldn't have any energy to contribute after my lunch shift I was already scheduled for. He promised me a decent break, so I agreed. So today comes and 5:30 pm rolls around and he asks me if I can just work through workout a break... because it was too busy to order food for myself anyways....Are you serious? I'm 17 weeks pregnant, hadn't had a break in 6 hours, and you expect me to be okay with that?!!?

I stared him down. And then I ordered food, and ate as slowly as I could.... and then still almost didn't stay for another shift.

LoveLee85 · March 2015

dulcineasnicklefritz101 said:
My boss has known I'm pregnant for over 2 months now. I work in a busy restaurant. He asked me to work a night shift yesterday, and I told him I would try, but I was worried I wouldn't have any energy to contribute after my lunch shift I was already scheduled for. He promised me a decent break, so I agreed. So today comes and 5:30 pm rolls around and he asks me if I can just work through workout a break... because it was too busy to order food for myself anyways....Are you serious? I'm 17 weeks pregnant, hadn't had a break in 6 hours, and you expect me to be okay with that?!!?

I stared him down. And then I ordered food, and ate as slowly as I could.... and then still almost didn't stay for another shift.

Good for you!!!! He sounds like a clueless jerk. I would have done the same thing, but I cry when I'm reallllly hungry now(it's a pregnant thing, lol). So, I probably would have been crying and eating. 6 hours is way to long with no food/break!

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