September 2015 Moms

Snarky response to announcement...

edited March 2015 in September 2015 Moms
You ladies may get a kick out of this. It's in the same vein as some other conversations we've been having about inappropriate responses to our announcements. Lately I have been having to tell friends piece meal what's going on because I'm usually a somewhat social person and have been visibly off the radar (including social media) since I found out (a result of the ms and exhaustion gives me zero energy). I emailed a friend and told her why I've been MIA and instead of congratulating me she felt the need to REMIND me of how much Champagne I drank on New Year's Eve but capped it off with a "don't worry" (I wasn't) she was sure everything was okay. She then said "Omg, if you have a baby this year AND get your book published I will kill you!"

OKAY....We conceived on the 30th of January so no, (UPDATE: meant 30th of December! Sorry for the confusion!) I wasn't worried about the NYE bubbly I drank and two, I've spent 3 years of my life writing a book that I finished before Christmas that you'd think a friend would hope I got the damn thing published. It may be my hormones on speed right now, but all I could think of was: THAT'S your response?! I responded politely and blithely oblivious to the snark but still, it just goes to show that pregnancy makes people strange, not just us who have been inseminated! Anyone else have a horror story to share?
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Re: Snarky response to announcement...

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  • I had posted mine a while back in another post but here's mine....I had been trying for nearly 2 1/2 years and so had someone I knew (we aren't close friends by any means), but we talked a few times about our infertility. When I announced my pregnancy she messaged me with the response "I'll pray it sticks, nothing is worse than trying for so long only to miscarry." Certainly not what I wanted/needed to hear. I've often heard the saying "hurting people, hurt people." I know it's very true so I am trying to not let it bother me anymore.
  • Yeah I tried to explain to my boss that I'm physically having a hard time and throwing up one to seven times a day while being a busy journalist. He said well you know my wife worked as a journalist all 9 months. To me that was insensitive because everyone is different and it was like suck it up. It was so hard to even bring it up so soon but felt my health was affecting my job performance. Another coworker said are you keeping it? Wth. If I was even considering that would I have shared this news with an acquaintance/coworker. My direct editor also just told me jokingly oh man "it's almost not even worth it" when I told her I frequently have to pull over to open car door and vomit in between interviews/assignments. Uh yeah I'm sure when baby comes it was worth it. Ppl are definitely rude without meaning to be.
  • @MrsPyrowiz Your stories fascinate me. For some reason, every time you post, I just want more of these juicy details. While it sounds crazy, the way you describe your family dynamics are so enthralling to me. You seem so open minded, if even bc of dealing with some weird stuff.

    ...And THAT, I find interesting.

    The way all of you ladies share the weird stuff we preggos hear is fascinating to me. Love this group!

    Hahaha! I'm glad someone enjoys it all! I worry I rant too much. Lol
  • Wow, eff! these toxic assholes! I had some bad wedding reactions years ago but so far so good with any friends and family we have told about us expecting. The whole work discrimination really grinds my gears. I'm in the process of finally getting my degree in May and retiring from massage therapy after 10 years. I was so excited to be moving forward and finally pursuing my career at 32 years old. I had it all planned. Now that I'm . pregnant alot has changed! I am no way up for massaging at all, and no one is going to hire the pregnant girl for just the summer unless I work retail. ....which I lost the stomach for in my early twenties! It just pains me to know that being pregnant/ being a mother is such a burden and annoyance in the work force. It scares me to think that our country is still this way and almost wants to just put mother's in a place that make it extremely difficult to be promoted. Sooo messed up!!!
  • toderiukttoderiukt member
    edited March 2015
  • My very good friend and boss not only called me selfish because I have a son already but also told me because I am over weight the baby will likely be still born and if I die she hopes Dante my 6 year old won't hate me. Dante is from a previous marriage and my now husband has 3 kids we have custody of but we wanted one baby togther. I don't think I am that wrong and I am doing everything my doctor says. People don't understand how much they can hurt our already sensitive feelings.


    That is horrible! Who says things like that?! You are better than me girl that would have turned into WWIII.
  • Hahaha my father in law is an amazing man and said with friends like that who need enemies. I have to stop working by 20 weeks cause I commute about 3 hours one way to work. Gonna take that time to reflect and decide if I want to go back to work for my "friend". As long as we are happy and our babies are healthy they screw them!
  • Some people.

    My husband told my MIL in person about the baby (even though I don't feel like she deserves to hear the news in person since she has been MIA for 3 years). All she said to him was "oh. I am happy for you". A week later she stopped by our house to pick something up from my hubby, and she just walked past me without even saying congratulations. Whatever.
  • apayne0731- sounds like my MIL. My husband hasn't talked to his mom in well over a year. She has kept trying to contact him through FB messenger (he had a job change so his number changed and he never gave her the new number). He finally responded to a message with our announcement picture via FB me sender she saw and responded. The next day she lied and said she found out through someone on FB through someone my husband is friends with. After my husband looked, turns out he isn't even friends with this person so it was impossible to happen. He called her out on it and isn't talking to her. She's done stuff like this multiple times now.
    The next day his younger brother sends a message saying "Wow, probably won't see this nephew either. Oh well. I'm just the Uncle." No congrats, my husband only talks to his older brother, my husband has helped his two younger brothers with getting into school only to fail out, got them jobs with good companies and they didn't show or were lazy, etc. Needless to say they don't make attempts to call or visit (we live in Indiana, they live in Ohio).
    The next day, his other younger brother sends us both a message saying "heard your having another kid, that's great and all but I can't say I respect that as I used to look up to you but it's clear you picked your wife and kids over your family here". Wth???
    I've told my husband before I'm done with that side as his mother has questioned multiple things only for my husband to shut her down. They have caused so much stress on us until my husband broke ties with his mom and 2 younger brothers. And all this with just announcing a simple happy announcement, we will not be interacting with them for years lol.
    Sorry for the long post, feels good to vent some of this to other people.
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  • I posted this in another thread, but here it is again. One of my very good friends is one and done by choice, and every time I bring up this pregnancy she goes on and on about how all her friends with two or more say it's SO HARD. She tells me about a friend who can't leave the house with 2 kids (wtf?!?), another who feels like they're abandoning their oldest, and on and on. She also likes to point out how a lot of adults don't even like their siblings. If I even mention feeling tired/sick she will find a way to passive aggressively mention it is because I'm on number 2. It is so weird, it's not like I'm on kid 10 or something. Most people have at least two kids. It feels like she's trying to justify her decision to have one to herself. I've let her know lots of times I think an only child is great and there are a lot of benefits to it. We considered it for awhile but ultimately decided on one more.
  • Kimberlykh your friend sounds super jealous to me
  • Woww. People are sooo inconsiderate and rude. I'm in my early twenties, with a career I'm very passionate about (but it's very physical). My fiancé, whom I've been with for 8 years (highschool sweethearts), also has a stable career that he loves. We have our own place, super responsible, etc. Perfect time in our lives to start a family. Everyone I told I was pregnant was over the moon for us. We are soooooo excited!! However, around 6 weeks pregnant I got hg (which is basically a really horrible form of morning sickness). I've passed out multiple times, gotten dehydrated, can't drive do to blurred vision and malnutrition. Even taking a shower or doing the laundry is exhausting. Needless to say, with my physical job, which I LOVE, I had to stop working for me and my unborn child's health. My fiancé makes enough to support us, and we have a lot of support from my family so it's all fine (even though I HATE having to leave my job for now because I love my job, I'm just thankful baby is ok). Anyways!!!! His grandma tells him "she should have never gotten pregnant if she couldn't work through it, she needs to be working, that's so stupid!" -___- ok... I have been working since I was 16 and literally supported my fiance since he was 17 and he moved in with me. Not to mention I worked while he was in school to support him through school. I just thought that was bull****. You don't say to someone they should have never gotten pregnant because they're having health issues? Seriously?
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  • This Isn't from a pregnancy announcement, but annoying none the less. I don't have a great relationship with my father, and her called me for my birthday. As we were talking, he asked me about giving him grandkids. Now, in the back of my mind I'm thinking "You didn't raise your own kids, why?" But instead of being mean, I remind him that he already had a grandson. (From my 34 yr old brother that i just found out about 2 years ago). His response was "That's different". I was floored. I promptly got off the phone. What a jerk.
  • My aunt said, "Really? Another baby? Hmmm. That's a lot of kids, don't you think?" (I have three. My husband has two. This will be our first together.)
    I reply with silence and she says, "So what, I guess you're happy then?"
    Yes. Yes I am, you stupid b***.
    Sorry. I have a bit of a history with this aunt. Come to think of it, I think that's been her reaction to all my pregnancies. She really is a miserable old woman. I know it shouldn't have but her reaction did bring me down a little.
  • I don't post often. .. Well pretty much never but this post I can relate to. My step sister makes a point to make sure everyone knows that she is my step sister and not my real sister. Anyway with that she found out via Facebook that I am expecting and her response was "Congrats I guess. I guess I'll have to throw you another baby shower. Thanks for the phone call or text." So incredibly rude. I dislike her so much and no matter what I post or say about anything she has something snarky to say. I can imagine I would be super frustrated and upset if my friend acted the way yours did too. Oh and my husband's dad's response, "Why'd you go and do that? What are you going to do now?" People can't just be happy for other's good news.
  • edited March 2015
    @knitttingmama not terribly confusing I'm due September 30th based on my LMP and my US. Also, not really the point of this post.

    Thanks everyone else for sharing your stories! Some of them were gasp worthy! It feels good to vent, doesn't it? ☺️
  • @lillaura4unme I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! I'm a writer as well and have found that I've had to back out of assignments due to lack of energy and ms, so I can totally relate. My editors are women so they've been understanding (I had to back out of covering Paris Fashion Week at the last minute, which I thought would be a crisis) but shame on your boss for comparing your experience to his wife's! It's not like seen one pregnant woman seen 'em all! Hang in there...t2 is just around the corner.
  • @mrscaterosales wow! Shade was thrown at you over cream in your coffee?! Talk about nitpicking! Seriously, pregnancy brings out the strange in people. Glad we all have each other to bounce off our crazy stories! (Also, thanks for the congrats on completing my book. That in itself was like giving birth!)
  • Wow. Just wow. Why do people feel the need to take pregnancy news so personally?? I get that some people may have feelings of jealousy and envy (and that is natural), but people need to learn to keep themselves and their own feelings out of it...this is a BABY! I truly feel sorry for some of you that had to deal with that kind of reaction. While I'm not really in the business of giving really personal advice, I'd honestly advise you to keep your distance from these people - they obviously aren't willing to put their own feelings aside for your happiness and the miracle that is bringing new life into this world.


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  • I just assumed you meant you conceived on the 30th of December - not January :)

    So silly though! I was in the tww over nye and definitely had some champagne! My doctor didn't even ask me about it - her question was "have you had alcohol since you found out you were pregnant?"
  • edited March 2015
    @mrsizz Oh I see! Yes, It was December (just updated my original post). I guess I tend to equate NYE with January.

    It's funny how people hone in on the holiday drinking (I still find this so rude to point out to pregnant women) but what about the smoked salmon bagel and raw meats I was nibbling on or other no nos we consumed? Again unknowingly, but I guess that's less taboo! @kajordan09 is right in suggesting we keep our distance. Pregnancy is hard enough; we certainly don't need a plate of snarky comments handed to us to boot!
  • With my first we didn't really "announce" we we were pregnant to anyone. Me and my boyfriend (now husband) were having a really rough time at that point and my family was not his biggest fan and he wasn't (still isn't) really close with his family. I told my family around 12 weeks and my handful of friends and that was pretty much about it. He didn't tell his family until around 32 weeks and I had her at 37 weeks.
    Well I'm not a huge fan of his grandma never have been she is the type to say what she wants when she wants without thinking of anyone's feelings. I was obviously very pregnant at this point and we were over at her house visiting and she was talking about his brother getting too serious about a girl he was seeing in high school and said he was going to get her pregnant and ruin his life then looks over at me and said no offense Ashley like it was actually directed at me and I ruined his life. When she tells story's to my kids about my husband she always starts it this was before you were a nightmare in your daddy eyes (instead of before you were a twinkle in your daddy's eyes like normal people say).
    Oh and of course this is our third, we will have 3 all ages 3 and under. So I get the you guys were busy with a wink gross comments and also the haven't you guys heard of birth control or someone needs to get fixed are you getting your tubes tied after this??? First off that is rude on so many levels my kids never need or want for anything so screw you. And how is that any of your business whether I'm getting my tubes tied. I am but that is because we both wanted 3 this is our third we are done not because I think we have to many or because I don't know how to use birth control. People these days just don't have a filter and will say anything and not think of who they will hurt. My kids are to young to understand the things his grandma say for now but they won't be forever and that makes me so mad!
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