Baby wants to be held all the time- help!

ShannonKay19 · February 2015

This is my first time writing, though I followed the boards throughout my pregnancy. I had a little boy on 25th of Jan and he has literally been held 24/7 since he was born. He screams and cries whenever we put him down. My husband and I are sleeping in 2 hour shifts, often less for me since I'm breastfeeding. Our son is extremely strong and we were told not to swaddle him by the hospital staff and our pediatrician because he can get out of it. He is also able to get on his side in his crib. Our pediatrician also told us not to put him in anything other than his crib or the pack and play. That everything else (rock and play, swings, etc...) is unsafe due to how their head can hang; that they can easily cut off their air supply causing SIDS. Basically to lay them flat only in a sleep sack (he can get out of the Velcro ones too) in his crib/a completely flat surface. Well, he hates this and just screams when we put him down, so we spend all the time holding him. My husband is back at work and my parents are now coming over t take turns holding him so I can try to sleep some. Any suggestions on what to do to get him to lay down would be great! Thank you all in advance!

jessica528 · February 2015

It sounds like you have got terrible advice from your professionals. Swaddling keeps babies safe and secure. Look it up- it protects against a reflex that makes them feeli like they are falling. There are many swaddled that are sold to the "strong" baby- like mine who sometimes breaks free. Try the Miracle Blanket or Nuroo- or both. I use both and my baby sleeps well- only creeping his arms out 1 out of 15 times.

As for not putting him down- I too had the same issue- but when I got the rock and play, my baby found relief, as did I. I swaddle him, turn on the RNP, sometimes put in a pacifier, and he sleeps peacefully. Never have I found him with a a hung head. He turns his head to the side, which is even better than lying on the back of his head in a crib. I also turn on the ceiling fan, which is shown to reduce chances of SIDS.

I suggest you trust your instinct and go with these techniques that mostbabies use. I really question your doctors, who are only making your life more complicated and miserable. You shouldn't have to have people come over to your house to hold the baby.

Good luck!!!

jessica528 · February 2015

Also- I tried the sleep sack, prior to my RNP/swaddle routine, and didn't get any success. It doesn't do anything to keep the arms down, which is the reason your baby is waking himself up and getting startled. Also- Make sure you BURP. That plays a big part in getting them to sleep independently.

HStrawberry · February 2015

I'm also surprised at the advice of your doctor. It took us a few days to get LO used to being flat on her back. We used a vibrating bouncer to help with the transition. It's awesome. I've found that lightly swaddling her works well. She gets pissed if it's too tight and she can't wiggle her arms. I would suggest trying some of the traditional things used to help babies sleep.

cassied7 · February 2015

That's some wacky advice from your doctors. Seems a bit too paranoid for myself. At some point, you need to make the decisions for where and how your baby sleeps. You know your baby best, not the doctor. Too many rules. You and your husband need to get some sleep, so try something different and figure out what works best for the three of you.

Bigboneded · February 2015

We were told a lot of that, too. Our babies were in the NICU due to gest age and lack of beds in transitional nursery. We just smiled and nodded. They slept swaddled, on their side, in the same bassinet, with a blanket- the doctors tell us they are doing great! Good luck! My husband told me swaddling is no longer recommended when I bought swaddlers, but we do it and it works for us :-)

lauren.nolting · February 2015

Why is swaddling no longer recommended?

LooneyLife · February 2015

lauren.nolting said:
Why is swaddling no longer recommended?

It raises their body temp which puts them at an increased risk of SIDS. At least that's the reason our daycare isn't allowed to swaddle (state law).

ShannonKay19 · February 2015

Thanks ladies! Last night I tried one of those sleep sacks with the Velcro and I did it really tight so he couldn't get out (my doctor also said not to use those if they can get their arms out) and it worked! He slept about 2 hours at a time before wanting to be fed! Thank you all for your advice! Sometimes this new mom stuff is kinda lonely, especially when you feel like everything you want to try is unsafe. Thanks again for your support!

kdav0386 · February 2015

My newborn hates to lay flat also so he sleeps every night in his rock and play sleeper and does great!

kcsparky · February 2015

Sounds like bad advice to me too. We had same problem and talked to pediatrician about it. She told us to immediately go and get a rock n play. He has slept amazing in it since. Went from waking every 1-1.5 hours to 2.5-3.5 hours in rock n play. We do not swaddled in rock n play but only because he doesn't like his arms not being out.

reyrey2014 · February 2015

My 3 1/2 week old baby sleeps in his swing and rock n play. He doesn't like sleeping flat on his back.

shakalex · February 2015

My baby is an arm baby. I lay her on a pillow near me and try having her lay on the pillow when she's up. I actually hold the pillow. She's number 4.

Msubirdygirl · February 2015

The woombie does wonders too! It's on Amazon, zips right up and there's no way they can get their arms out but it stretchy and soft material for them to feel comfortable. It also zips up so you can change them without having their arms out. All 3 of my kids loved it. They all used the same ones too so it's worth the $$

lilly&rose · February 2015

It is quite normal, all babies want to be held. He is still small and love the warmth and smell of your body. You're his security object. If you do not want to swaddle get a good quality sleep sack. My babies sleep in a baby deedee sleep sack since birth. They are cozy, snug and safe and comes upto 36 months age. It saved me so many midnight trips to her nursery just to make sure she stayed covered and warm.
Put the sack in your own bed for while so it has your body scent. Hope that helps.

jesegarra17 · February 2015

I just went through the same thing with my husband and i taking turns.., I waited until she was 6 weeks and during the day I laid her on the crib when she would cry Id pick her up after she calmed down I put her back down in the crib over and over again never letting her cry more than 3 min (this is only after u r sure that she's not hungry and nothing else is bothering baby) & after 1 day she finally slept in her crib that night only waking when hungry or with wet diaper but at least she's not sleeping on top of me anymore ... Takes time but with patience and time hopefully it gets better. (I didn't cook or do anything else that day though).

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