Unpopular Opinions

finchfeeder80 · February 2015

milgainey said:

ElRuby said:
Just because I keep seeing this over and over.... I don't understand why people purposely use boy names for girls?! You may think it is trendy but chances are your child won't... I just read a post about how perfect it is because the name is unisex... I don't get why that would be a good reason for a name.

This has been going on before my mother was born in 1964 so it's not trendy. Lot's of older men especially have ladies names and they seem to be okay with them. I.e. Shannon, McKinley, Beverly, Tracey ans Stacey to name a few.

I can't speak for the etymology of Beverly, Tracey or Stacey; although I've known a male Tracey, but Shannon was historically a male name (amongst the Irish, at least), I've known more male Shannons than female. Shannon is a great example of male names being given to females for so long people have forgotten it's origins. And McKinley is an Irish surname, not historically a first name.

frankengibbs · February 2015

Here's more of a bitch than a UO but when TF did this become the name board. I get that people think they'll get nicer responses on J15 than over there but jesustits I'm tired of "names that go with..." or "boy names for..." cluttering up our board.

devyns2nd · February 2015

frankengibbs said:
Here's more of a bitch than a UO but when TF did this become the name board. I get that people think they'll get nicer responses on J15 than over there but jesustits I'm tired of "names that go with..." or "boy names for..." cluttering up our board.

Right!!! The names kill me. Not to mention the names are usually awful. The name board is made for names and they will be much nicer. I'm having enough drama naming my own baby.

ElRuby · February 2015

frankengibbs said:
Here's more of a bitch than a UO but when TF did this become the name board. I get that people think they'll get nicer responses on J15 than over there but jesustits I'm tired of "names that go with..." or "boy names for..." cluttering up our board.

I don't imagine this going away anytime soon so maybe we should have a weekly names thread for the June board to post name related questions... This way everyone is happy.

HoosOnFirst · February 2015

Agreed all! Let's try to make sure there are daily threads for names, symptoms, etc. I'll help where I can.

finchfeeder80 · February 2015

Maybe it will go over better this time. That's how we organized this board from the beginning. Then we were called a bunch of mean bitches for directing people to the appropriate threads. After which the bump lost it's shit and kicked our moderators out. I'll keep my fingers crossed! It certainly can't get any worse!

frankengibbs · February 2015

hoodoll82 said:
Agreed all! Let's try to make sure there are daily threads for names, symptoms, etc. I'll help where I can.

finchfeeder80 said:
Maybe it will go over better this time. That's how we organized this board from the beginning. Then we were called a bunch of mean bitches for directing people to the appropriate threads. After which the bump lost it's shit and kicked our moderators out. I'll keep my fingers crossed! It certainly can't get any worse!

THANK YOU! Because I am getting really annoyed at some of the threads we're getting on here with ambiguous titles or name question after name question after name questions...it's not even a mean thing, it's just more of an organization thing... Putting things where they go.

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

Quotebox fail. Quoted from ElRuby - "I don't imagine this going away anytime soon so maybe we should have a weekly names thread for the June board to post name related questions... This way everyone is happy."

I'm down with a weekly names thread. I've been to the names board and those ladies ate me alive. They can be helpful, for sure, but I feel like they like traditional names and we're a bit of hippies, so our names aren't really really weird (at least, I don't think so) but they aren't usual either. But I didn't want to start a thread here about it to see if there was a difference of opinion, or maybe I just truly have my head up my ass and our names are really frickin weird. The weekly thing would be a compromise that I could have used (since then we've appeared to settle on a compromise name that wasn't in the original two).

ETA quote credit

klkonwi · February 2015

I'm sick of the posts about things not being exactly perfect for people's labor and delivery scenarios...... Scenarios which people have in their heads that most likely will be soooooooo far from what ACTUALLY happens during labor. Quit whining. Ugh.......

amhowell14 · February 2015

klkonwi said:
I'm sick of the posts about things not being exactly perfect for people's labor and delivery scenarios...... Scenarios which people have in their heads that most likely will be soooooooo far from what ACTUALLY happens during labor. Quit whining. Ugh.......

Ha! I was just thinking the same thing. With DD 1, I was induced, and was adimit I did not want the epi. Ha! After 22 hrs of pitocin induced labor, that no epi shit went out the window.

mccall35 · February 2015

amhowell14 said:

I'm sick of the posts about things not being exactly perfect for people's labor and delivery scenarios...... Scenarios which people have in their heads that most likely will be soooooooo far from what ACTUALLY happens during labor. Quit whining. Ugh.......
Ha! I was just thinking the same thing. With DD 1, I was induced, and was adimit I did not want the epi. Ha! After 22 hrs of pitocin induced labor, that no epi shit went out the window.

Just to jump on this bandwagon (even though this is a few days late).

Written birthplans.

I hate the idea of them. I mean, I'm all for having thought about how you would like L&D to go, but come. freakin. on. Your plan, get baby out as safely (and uneventfully) as possible (for both baby and mum). Walking into L&D with a 4 page written document outlining everything from preferred positions to every word you don't want spoken, seems entitled and is IMO insulting to your care providers and completely unnecessary.

A more responsible and realistic approach is to have open discussion with your health care team prior to L&D so they know your wishes. If they are decent providers, they will try to keep them in mind when making medical decisions during your labour. However, like PP have mentioned, things can turn on a dime I hope to hell my doctor/nurses aren't focused on what "room energy" or "words I would prefer not to hear" during these moments.

TL/DR: The goal of L&D is that you end up with a baby. I think people put too much emphasis on having a fairytale birth experience.

ETA: I was induced due to premature rupture of the membranes, after labouring ineffectively all day, I ended up with a c-section. Was it what I planned? No. Are DS and myself here to talk about it? Yes. Case and point.

laurendutch · February 2015

I feel like my Opinion is geared towards 6 year old girls...but why is Elsa so popular???? I mean Anna is funny!

Can you tell what I've been watching today?

amhowell14 · February 2015

laurendutch said:
I feel like my Opinion is geared towards 6 year old girls...but why is Elsa so popular???? I mean Anna is funny!

Can you tell what I've been watching today?

Haha! Yes, I love Anna. Elsa is the bad girl, turning everything into ice. Anna saves the day.

MamaBish · February 2015

laurendutch said:
I feel like my Opinion is geared towards 6 year old girls...but why is Elsa so popular???? I mean Anna is funny!

Can you tell what I've been watching today?

Yes!!!! Anna is badass! Elsa is just whiny and runs away from her problems.

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

laurendutch said:
I feel like my Opinion is geared towards 6 year old girls...but why is Elsa so popular???? I mean Anna is funny!

Can you tell what I've been watching today?

Yeah!! Anna is the hero of the story, for griefs sake!

ngaines27 · February 2015

My UO is maternity pictures. They totally creep me out! I mean, what exactly should you do with them once they're printed? Hang them on your living room wall? I've seen photos of the a couple standing in the middle of the woods, belly basking in the sun and . . . UGH! Awkward! I've never in my entire life seen one that didn't make me at least minamally uncomfortable.

elizab14 · February 2015

ngaines27 said:
My UO is maternity pictures. They totally creep me out! I mean, what exactly should you do with them once they're printed? Hang them on your living room wall? I've seen photos of the a couple standing in the middle of the woods, belly basking in the sun and . . . UGH! Awkward! I've never in my entire life seen one that didn't make me at least minamally uncomfortable.

But they make the best Awkward Family Photos! And no, that is not me. Haha.

HoosOnFirst · February 2015

ngaines27 said:
My UO is maternity pictures. They totally creep me out! I mean, what exactly should you do with them once they're printed? Hang them on your living room wall? I've seen photos of the a couple standing in the middle of the woods, belly basking in the sun and . . . UGH! Awkward! I've never in my entire life seen one that didn't make me at least minamally uncomfortable.

We still haven't posted anything about our pregnancy on Facebook for this reason: I can't figure out a good photo or graphic that I don't find completely lame or laughable!

mindaa · February 2015

mellymar said:

Just because I keep seeing this over and over.... I don't understand why people purposely use boy names for girls?! You may think it is trendy but chances are your child won't... I just read a post about how perfect it is because the name is unisex... I don't get why that would be a good reason for a name.
Yes! I'm frustrated with this because the name DH and I have come to like if we have a boy is currently going thru a girl naming phase. We both like the name a lot, but I will feel bad if the only other kids we see with that name are girls. It is still used more for boys than girls (when checking naming statistics), but I see a lot of posts that read, "the only kid I have met named this is a girl"

Yes, this is so my issue too! As if boy names weren't hard enough, they keep getting stolen as trendy girl names. Our front runner name is also sorta unisex - still more common for boys right now, but I'm hesitant because if the trend continues, it could become tomorrow's Shannon, Courtney, Dana or Tracey.

And that's not because I fear my child's manhood will be compromised or something... more because I personally don't deal well with awkward social situations, so I feel a little responsible for protecting him from awkwardly being assumed a woman.

rrcameron21 · February 2015

elizab14 said:
Ack, the phrase "Just You Wait" for the impending doom that is to come with my life. I don't care if it's true, it's not a kind thing to say to a hormonal pregnant woman. I've heard it so many times in the last few months. My MIL just said it and I let her know. I plan on letting everyone know from now on. I can't take it.

Omg this!! If I say I'm having trouble sleeping or complain about any pregnancy symptom "just you wait until your close to your due date!!". I want to punch anyone who says "just you wait" about anything. Ever.

adorebel · February 2015

MamaBish said:

Alright, here it is: I like this board better now.
I do miss some of the interesting posts being more common BUT there is less cattiness clogging up the answers.

Ok, coming back as a loss mom, I'm with @thepalindromicone. The community that you call catty supported me in my loss and defended me from insensitive comments that could have made me feel unwelcome here after my loss. When I pop back in and see something like this, I see what this place has really lost. There are lots of posts and giggles, but there's much less continuity and community and structure. People post more for themselves and less for the group they are a part of. It makes me sad.

Mcullz4 · February 2015

karaelaine1991 said:
Unrelated to the essential oils rant, but it made me think of this: the current trend among my Facebook friends is to sell those Jamberry nail things. I have nothing against these products other than I just don't want to spend my money on them, but I'm SO SICK of getting Facebook event invites to these online parties where my friends basically beg everyone to buy them! Ugh. I'm glad they're trying to make some extra money, but I wish they didn't try to use my wallet to do it!

Ugh! I feel the same way about those and the stupid mascara parties! People don't realize that those things are not profitable. And I don't want to see up close selfies of your eye makeup. It's creepy.

MamaBish · February 2015

adorebel said:

MamaBish said:

Alright, here it is: I like this board better now.
I do miss some of the interesting posts being more common BUT there is less cattiness clogging up the answers.

Ok, coming back as a loss mom, I'm with @thepalindromicone. The community that you call catty supported me in my loss and defended me from insensitive comments that could have made me feel unwelcome here after my loss. When I pop back in and see something like this, I see what this place has really lost. There are lots of posts and giggles, but there's much less continuity and community and structure. People post more for themselves and less for the group they are a part of. It makes me sad.

Completely understandable. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine what that was like and any time I see a post regarding a loss, my heart truly breaks.

I was not necessarily a part of this community for very long before TB did what they did (I do not agree with how they treated the mods and the whole shady TOU stuff) so I cannot speak on that part. However, part of the reason I was not part of the community is because it seemed very uninviting to someone who wasn't around since they conceived. I decided to just be myself and join in anyway, and I am so glad I did.

Hopefully we can all build a supportive community again.

adorebel · February 2015

MamaBish said:

adorebel said:

MamaBish said:

Alright, here it is: I like this board better now.
I do miss some of the interesting posts being more common BUT there is less cattiness clogging up the answers.

Ok, coming back as a loss mom, I'm with @thepalindromicone. The community that you call catty supported me in my loss and defended me from insensitive comments that could have made me feel unwelcome here after my loss. When I pop back in and see something like this, I see what this place has really lost. There are lots of posts and giggles, but there's much less continuity and community and structure. People post more for themselves and less for the group they are a part of. It makes me sad.

Completely understandable. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine what that was like and any time I see a post regarding a loss, my heart truly breaks.

I was not necessarily a part of this community for very long before TB did what they did (I do not agree with how they treated the mods and the whole shady TOU stuff) so I cannot speak on that part. However, part of the reason I was not part of the community is because it seemed very uninviting to someone who wasn't around since they conceived. I decided to just be myself and join in anyway, and I am so glad I did.

Hopefully we can all build a supportive community again.

Your reply is very kind, and I know you didn't intend the original comment in a bad way at all. I guess it just feels like lurking around while you were kind of scared of the snark was a necessary initiation into an awesome community that would, in turn, protect you from the randoms who didn't even realize how insensitive/repetitive they could sound. It's too bad that a lot of people were scared off by a little snark, because anyone who showed up, introduced themselves, and posted regularly was immediately welcome, even if they joined several months into their pregnancy. The snark was like a wall against the randoms who wanted to drive by and use the board like their personal Google, or who didn't understand how some of what they said might be insensitive to others. When I come back here, I don't see as much structure or regularity in the posts or the same fierce loyalty among members. Admittedly, I'm not here every day because (obviously) I'm not pregnant anymore and haven't been since Christmas. I'm sure the exit of the snarky ladies makes it easier to dive in if you're new, but I wonder if it also weakens the tight-knit bond of the community, that's all. Those women were so knowledgable and so kind underneath their sarcasm.

frankengibbs · February 2015

adorebel said:

MamaBish said:

adorebel said:

MamaBish said:

Alright, here it is: I like this board better now.
I do miss some of the interesting posts being more common BUT there is less cattiness clogging up the answers.

Ok, coming back as a loss mom, I'm with @thepalindromicone. The community that you call catty supported me in my loss and defended me from insensitive comments that could have made me feel unwelcome here after my loss. When I pop back in and see something like this, I see what this place has really lost. There are lots of posts and giggles, but there's much less continuity and community and structure. People post more for themselves and less for the group they are a part of. It makes me sad.

Completely understandable. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine what that was like and any time I see a post regarding a loss, my heart truly breaks.

I was not necessarily a part of this community for very long before TB did what they did (I do not agree with how they treated the mods and the whole shady TOU stuff) so I cannot speak on that part. However, part of the reason I was not part of the community is because it seemed very uninviting to someone who wasn't around since they conceived. I decided to just be myself and join in anyway, and I am so glad I did.

Hopefully we can all build a supportive community again.

Your reply is very kind, and I know you didn't intend the original comment in a bad way at all. I guess it just feels like lurking around while you were kind of scared of the snark was a necessary initiation into an awesome community that would, in turn, protect you from the randoms who didn't even realize how insensitive/repetitive they could sound. It's too bad that a lot of people were scared off by a little snark, because anyone who showed up, introduced themselves, and posted regularly was immediately welcome, even if they joined several months into their pregnancy. The snark was like a wall against the randoms who wanted to drive by and use the board like their personal Google, or who didn't understand how some of what they said might be insensitive to others. When I come back here, I don't see as much structure or regularity in the posts or the same fierce loyalty among members. Admittedly, I'm not here every day because (obviously) I'm not pregnant anymore and haven't been since Christmas. I'm sure the exit of the snarky ladies makes it easier to dive in if you're new, but I wonder if it also weakens the tight-knit bond of the community, that's all. Those women were so knowledgable and so kind underneath their sarcasm.

.....quote box fail.....
I'll start by saying that I am very sorry for your loss. If I'm remembering correctly, I read about it shortly after joining and I am glad that the old community was so supportive of you during that time. I wish that I would've had a community to rally around me when I lost my first baby several years back so for that aspect, I appreciated the old TB.
I agree with @MamaBish‌ about the drama with TOU and whatnot but I'll leave it at that.
But...
I like the new TB. I don't like the disorganization and some of the stupidity that comes with all holy hell breaking loose not too long ago, but I like it better here now. I made an effort to be a part of the community before and honestly, it reminded me of moving around a lot during my adolescence, wanting friends and being brushed off or ignored because I hadn't been there since kindergarten like the rest of them (or in this case, conception).
At least now if I post things, I get responses back or can have a conversation and that feels a lot more like a community to me. And trust me, I would like to think I'm not a SS, I love snark as much as the next gal and honest answers and I know this is not my Google and have never treated it as though it was. I just feel a lot more welcome now instead of feeling like I'm in some twilight zone preggo-Junior High.

ETA: quote box fail

thepalindromicone · February 2015

Miss you @adorebel‌! How are you doing?

klkonwi · February 2015

Sorry for anyone's losses and this isn't meant to discount them.
I've been here since conception and used to never be able to get a word in edgewise. Were internet strangers just like you snark people used to looove to point out. Were not besties/neighbors. I personally love it here now and have gotten a lot of useful advice. I like the light tone and I never liked internet arguing! Not a unicorn and rainbows person but pregnancy is a time when everything is sooooo serious and this board gives me a chance to let loose! So sorry to the old bumpies. My UO is that I love this board now!

frankengibbs · February 2015

klkonwi said:
Sorry for anyone's losses and this isn't meant to discount them.
I've been here since conception and used to never be able to get a word in edgewise. Were internet strangers just like you snark people used to looove to point out. Were not besties/neighbors. I personally love it here now and have gotten a lot of useful advice. I like the light tone and I never liked internet arguing! Not a unicorn and rainbows person but pregnancy is a time when everything is sooooo serious and this board gives me a chance to let loose! So sorry to the old bumpies. My UO is that I love this board now!

Exactly, while we're all intetnet strangers, I like the lighter and more friendly tone...and that I can get a word in without getting passed over for an OGB's comment or gif.

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

When I moved to a new school in the middle of 3rd grade the teacher was trying to be kind to me, and sat me with the 3 'popular', clique-y girls. Huge mistake. Those girls made fun of me relentlessly for being new and talking, dressing different, not knowing the local lingo, so to speak. When I started lurking here in January, all the 'October Moms' felt like those girls from school. So, yes, I'm digging the relaxed vibe. Not trying to dig on the October moms (my name for those who joined in October) but I personally needed some time to come to terms (pun partially intended) with my pregnancy. So I wasn't really ready to talk babies and stuff until later. And once I was ready I felt like I was discounted cause I wasn't there the second after seeing that second line. Just my thoughts on the whole new / old bump board.

I'm sorry about your loss, @adorebel‌. My heart goes out to you. ❤

frankengibbs · February 2015

mellymar said:
When I moved to a new school in the middle of 3rd grade the teacher was trying to be kind to me, and sat me with the 3 'popular', clique-y girls. Huge mistake. Those girls made fun of me relentlessly for being new and talking, dressing different, not knowing the local lingo, so to speak. When I started lurking here in January, all the 'October Moms' felt like those girls from school. So, yes, I'm digging the relaxed vibe. Not trying to dig on the October moms (my name for those who joined in October) but I personally needed some time to come to terms (pun partially intended) with my pregnancy. So I wasn't really ready to talk babies and stuff until later. And once I was ready I felt like I was discounted cause I wasn't there the second after seeing that second line. Just my thoughts on the whole new / old bump board.

I'm sorry about your loss, @adorebel‌. My heart goes out to you. ❤

This exactly =D>
That's how the old way of things felt on J15 (to an extent) and I like this lighter tone and actually feeling like I get to be a part of the community despite the fact that I came into the game a little later.

adorebel · February 2015

thepalindromicone said:

Miss you @adorebel‌! How are you doing?

I'm actually doing pretty okay these days! I miss the old times around here, so occasionally I pop my head in to see who's still hanging around, but my H and I are feeling much more healed lately... How are you?

thepalindromicone · February 2015

adorebel said:

thepalindromicone said:

Miss you @adorebel‌! How are you doing?

I'm actually doing pretty okay these days! I miss the old times around here, so occasionally I pop my head in to see who's still hanging around, but my H and I are feeling much more healed lately... How are you?

Doing good, glad you guys are feeling pretty good! Love seeing ya bop in... it's a different vibe here now, for sure... it's tough be as active as before (all hair pats and glitter, ya know - or Dum Dum Dum - report a TOU violation and ban hammer you go!)

lovethatcolosun · February 2015

Just to jump on this bandwagon (even though this is a few days late).

Written birthplans.

I hate the idea of them. I mean, I'm all for having thought about how you would like L&D to go, but come. freakin. on. Your plan, get baby out as safely (and uneventfully) as possible (for both baby and mum). Walking into L&D with a 4 page written document outlining everything from preferred positions to every word you don't want spoken, seems entitled and is IMO insulting to your care providers and completely unnecessary.

A more responsible and realistic approach is to have open discussion with your health care team prior to L&D so they know your wishes. If they are decent providers, they will try to keep them in mind when making medical decisions during your labour. However, like PP have mentioned, things can turn on a dime I hope to hell my doctor/nurses aren't focused on what "room energy" or "words I would prefer not to hear" during these moments.

TL/DR: The goal of L&D is that you end up with a baby. I think people put too much emphasis on having a fairytale birth experience.

ETA: I was induced due to premature rupture of the membranes, after labouring ineffectively all day, I ended up with a c-section. Was it what I planned? No. Are DS and myself here to talk about it? Yes. Case and point.

IMO I see no problem with going in with a written plan. Especially if you're a FTM. You have no freaking clue what it's going to be like, and if writing down what your wishes are so you don't forget to say something to the nurse while you're in the altered state of mind of labor puts you at ease a little bit, who the F cares. It's about you, not what the nurses think. As for requesting that certain words not be used, it's for the practice of hypno birthing. You obviously don't know much about it, so your judgement on it is totally out of context. If your plan is 'no plan' good for you! Don't knock those who use one to feel more prepared. Did I have one? Yep. Did it go as planned? Hell no! Did I feel more relaxed going into the hospital because I had it written down? Yep! Did the plan of hypnobirthing and no epi go out the window when I entered the second night of labor at 3 am? Yep. Do I regret any of it? Not a chance. Be flexible was ultimately my plan.

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