Teachers TTC

surferP528 · February 2015

Hello! I know that you can't "plan" when you get pregnant because it can be unpredictable, but I am wondering when other teachers are starting to TTC. Obviously, a baby born any time is a wonderful surprise, but in a job where maternity leave is limited, I would love to try to time things in order to have the most time home with a new baby without using up all of my vacation/sick leave.

My insurance allows me to get pregnant as soon as May 1, but a baby conceived at that time would be due in Feb. (Which would mean covering 14 weeks of maternity leave before summer break starts). Ideally, I'd love an early May (or even late April) due date. I know things can take time, and I'll be just coming off the BCpill which I know can slow things down. What do you think? Start TTC in May and go with the flow if it happens right away, or hold off?

On the plus side, I'd much rather have an early baby, return to work for a couple of weeks and have the summer off again than have to have the baby in Sept. and come right back to work in a few weeks. What are other teachers thinking?

irishrose54 · February 2015

Do you have disability insurance? It would lengthen your leave as long as you apply before ttc.i am a teacher and most teacher friends plan similarly to you. I am just going w the flow

surferP528 · February 2015

I just signed up for the disability insurance, which is what would start May 1

I hear it's a HUGE help!

cnf2013 · February 2015

irishrose54 said:

Do you have disability insurance? It would lengthen your leave as long as you apply before ttc.i am a teacher and most teacher friends plan similarly to you. I am just going w the flow

Not all states offer this for pregnancy. I'd suggest she look it up or ask her HR director.

jnissa · February 2015

^I'd like to second this and tell you that when teachers make statements like this in a public forum, it doesn't do your cause any good in terms of making the rest of the population support you (which they should). I come from a family of teachers and know how hard they work, but I would be lying if I said it didn't rub me a bit the wrong way then they talk about how DESPERATELY they need a break at Christmas time after a solid 3.5 months of work. I have also hear this maternity leave speech before, and would like to remind you that the rest of the population for the most part gets 6-8 weeks of unpaid maternity leave and does not have an extra three months in the summer to spend with their new child. No doubt that teachers work hard, but so do many other people with less favorable benefits. Post like this will work to further talk about teaches as overpaid and over-benefitted, neither of which are necessarily true, but you're not doing your profession any favors when you post clueless comments like this in public forums about how nice it would be if your paid maternity leave (still likely longer than most people get) aligned with your three months off in the summer.

Do not tell me that you work 70 hours a week during the school year. I do as well. For 52 weeks of the year.

Shirley712 · February 2015

@surferpf28 Well, I'll be positive since this is what the boards are here for. You don't need to comment if you're not going to be positive. I can understand both sides of the argument but we don't need to be negative. Most of my coworkers do try to plan their due date for around May to get as much time as possible with the baby. If other people had the same opportunity to have the summer off they would totally do the same thing so don't worry about the comments. I also am TTC and a teacher and would love to have a baby in May and not have to come back to work until September but I really want to have a baby so I will be thrilled to have a baby any month, as long as I am blessed to have a child. If it works out to be due in May than even better! I'm hoping I get pregnant before then though!! God forbid you have trouble conceiving you will totally regret waiting TTC until July or August just to have a potential due date in April/May. I say whenever you feel that you are ready start trying and everything will work out for the best!

surferP528 · February 2015

Wow these are incredibly rude responses. I don't understand why people respond if they don't have helpful things to contribute. Nothing in my post complained about my hours or lack of breaks or anything of that type. I simply said I'd like to have a baby at a time that coincided with summer break so that I could have as much time off as possible with my little one before returning to work. Shouldn't this board be a helpful and positive place for women? What's the point in bashing others?

To answer cnf's question, if we don't get pregnant with a due date that would coincide with my schedule, we may consider holding off and trying again in a year. (But I could also see us changing our minds on this and deciding to keep trying anyway). Being a stay at home mom or taking more unpaid leave is not an option for me, and I think it would be very difficult to send a child to day care and return to work so quickly after having a child. That being said, I realize many people do that and things are wonderful. However, since teachers have that perk of weeks off in the summer, it makes sense to take advantage of that time.

My disability insurance does consider childbirth, I've checked with the insurance company and HR. Thank you.

cnf2013 · February 2015

surferP528 said:

Wow these are incredibly rude responses. I don't understand why people respond if they don't have helpful things to contribute. Nothing in my post complained about my hours or lack of breaks or anything of that type. I simply said I'd like to have a baby at a time that coincided with summer break so that I could have as much time off as possible with my little one before returning to work. Shouldn't this board be a helpful and positive place for women? What's the point in bashing others?

To answer cnf's question, if we don't get pregnant with a due date that would coincide with my schedule, we may consider holding off and trying again in a year. (But I could also see us changing our minds on this and deciding to keep trying anyway). Being a stay at home mom or taking more unpaid leave is not an option for me, and I think it would be very difficult to send a child to day care and return to work so quickly after having a child. That being said, I realize many people do that and things are wonderful. However, since teachers have that perk of weeks off in the summer, it makes sense to take advantage of that time.

My disability insurance does consider childbirth, I've checked with the insurance company and HR. Thank you.

I won't have the option to stay home either after having a kid. That's life. And I agree, it would be awesome to time a baby to line up with summer break, but it doesn't work that way. You can pick and choose which months you want to try and withhold on others based around your break schedule all you want, but be prepared to try and try and try for a lot longer that way. You don't get to just decide which month you'll get pregnant in. I can't believe someone would go on and off TTC like that purely to extend you maternity leave. My POINT was that as a new mom who is a teacher, you will be blessed with significantly more time off from your job, beyond your maternity leave, than anyone else working any other professional will get. You should be grateful for that, not nit pick over what months are more convenient than others based on your personal time off. Also, don't forget, we teachers do not get paid for our summers off. Have fun when that huge 5k+ labor and delivery bill shows up on your doorstep in July while you're busy not getting paid. And who's to say, that even if your timing is good, that everything will go as planned? One of my closest friends is also a teacher and her child was born a month and a half early. There goes your well timed summer extension plans.

Do whatever you want. You asked for other teacher's opinions and you got them. Sorry they aren't all in agreement that babies born to teachers should magically line up with summer break. If you're ready, just start. If you have a baby in say, November, you'll have to take your granted maternity leave then go back to work like the rest of the world. That's just life sweetheart.

jnissa · February 2015

Just for the record, my point was not to be rude but to try to protect you and other teachers and help you see that this is not a question you ask on a public internet forum where people will see it (though in the current version of thebump, people is probably less than 10). It's a conversation you have with your teacher buddies in the break room. Your entire profession is under attack. Most of that isn't justifiable, but when you post something like this online, the way most people are going to react to it is with the thoughts I expressed. That leads to less people voting for that candidate who wants to hire more teachers "on the tax payer dime" or less people who support the very labor unions that help protect teachers. Your comment about your insurance not allowing you to get preggo before May leads me to believe that you may be new to the profession and therefore have a bit to learn about the PR of being a teacher. The harsh reality is that nobody wants to hear about your cushy benefits, which are cushy compared to the vast majority of the American public. You would be wise to not be a forthcoming with info about those in very public forums.

I truly, honestly, hope that getting pregnant is easy enough for you that you can time it to whatever is convenient for you. My personal advice would be to not do that and to instead start saving money to facilitate a longer maternity leave if that's what you want. Even for a healthy young couple it can take over 12 months of trying, which will be many years if you only do it in small, timed segments.

surferP528 · February 2015

Thank you for clarifying your response, Jnissa, but I really don't see your point. I don't think I should have to hide the fact that teachers get a summer break, or would like to align their maternity leave with one. You said my question was not appropriate to ask in a public internet forum? Why not? Why would trying to time the birth of my child make me any less professional than a woman who had a child any other month of the year? Whether or not people who aren't teachers agree with us getting a summer break, it's a fact that it exists. I would think a forum for women about pregnancy and family concerns would be a very appropriate issue to express those concerns.

You claim you're protecting me from being under attack, but the only person who is making me feel that way is you. To help educate yourself further, I teach in North Carolina which does not have a labor union at all. We are a non-union star. Secondly, the state of NC gives teachers ZERO unpaid leave (which is why I mentioned burning sick time, etc. and signing up for disability insurance). I am not new to the profession. In fact, I have my master's degree, national boards and tenure, so you can't tell me anything about teaching that I don't know about my profession.

I appreciate your opinion and advice as far as TTC, but I don't want to be attacked for being a teacher in a place that is supposed to be welcoming to everyone.

cnf2013 · February 2015

@SurferP528, What @jnissa means is that right now, the teaching profession is skating on thin ice. Most of the public hates us and the government is going to destroy our profession. Everyone thinks we're over paid and pretentious and privvy to too much as it is. The fact that you came here to basically say you're going to pick and choose your TTC months based on all the lovely extra benefits behooved to teacher that other professions aren't privvy to makes you sound pompous. It's basically rubbing the fact that the option to even have the extra three months off with your child directly following a paid maternity in everyone else's face. By saying that other timing is inconvenient and basically beneath you makes us teachers sound like dicks. EVERYONE HATES US RIGHT NOW. Do you understand that? Teachers are under a harsh spotlight right now. This type of pretentious talk makes everyone hate us even more. I don't know about you, but I love my job. I'm completely terrified because fucking Governor Cuomo has already dug the six foot hole that my job will be laying in if his legislation passes. So how about you quit making things worse, k?

surferP528 · February 2015

I completely disagree with you, but appreciate the input.

I don't think teachers should have to come on a pregnancy forum to dance around political issues or try to defend our profession. I chose to be a teacher because I wanted a schedule that would work well with being a mother and having a family. I will not apologize for that.

I don't think this issue is worth discussing any longer because it feels like an attack and I don't need that negativity in my life. I do appreciate the input on TTC and timing, and I think we'll start May 1 and go with the flow like I originally said.

Let's be positive and help each other. There's no need to get all up in arms over some posts on a message board! Let's drop this and move on to more pleasant topics.

jnissa · February 2015

"I chose to be a teacher because I wanted a schedule that would work well with being a mother and having a family."

Well, then, there you go. You clearly have not been attached to the education profession long enough to know what a dagger you put into the future generations of people who want their profession to be taken seriously when you say that.

cnf2013 · February 2015

cebw29 said:

jnissa said:

"I chose to be a teacher because I wanted a schedule that would work well with being a mother and having a family."

Well, then, there you go. You clearly have not been attached to the education profession long enough to know what a dagger you put into the future generations of people who want their profession to be taken seriously when you say that.

Right?? Just keep digging.

For real. Guess she doesn't care that the government is trying to privatize education and that Common Core is crushing teachers and education as whole. Just as long as you still get those summers off. Because why else would anyone ever become a teacher *insert massive eyeroll here*

I apologize if the fact that I like being a teacher because education is important to me is cramping your style. Let's have this conversation again next year when all the teaching jobs get destroyed, public education turns to shit, and the government has stuck their greedy fucking hands in the pot. Thanks for shining such a beautiful glowing light on our profession.

BlueWaffleSpeshul · February 2015

surferP528 said:

You are taking these boards way too seriously. I haven't told any friends or family that I'm thinking of TTC and am just looking for some friendly support. I'm going to head elsewhere to find it.

Haters going to hate.

Um. What?

YogaSandy · February 2015

I'm a teacher. We didn't plan for a certain month. We just started trying when we decided the time was right. We didn't know how long it would take. DS has an October birthday.

But, I'm also in Canada - so mat leave is different. I don't think that would have swayed my decision though, because I had been on BCP for well over a decade and we were ready for it to take a long time.

ETA typo

HeatherJ9603 · February 2015

surferP528 said:

You are taking these boards way too seriously. I haven't told any friends or family that I'm thinking of TTC and am just looking for some friendly support. I'm going to head elsewhere to find it.

Haters going to hate.

And the players gonna play play play play play? Seriously, you asked for opinions. You got opinions. Just because it's not the opinion you wanted, don't get your panties in a bunch. No I would not hold off on ttc. That means in an entire year you only will try two months? You only have a 20% chance. What if you have trouble ttc? You won't find out for 6 years then because you'll only have two months a year to go on. It's 12 months of unprotected sex/trying before you will be considered Infertile.

surferP528 · February 2015

I'll probably TTC from May through October or November and then re-evaluate. So that's 7 months of trying. If we haven't gotten pregnant by then, we may hold off until the following May, or depending on how we feel, just keep trying and be happy with a baby whenever. (I'm sure it's easy to get impatient after some months of trying. But I'm not feeling too rushed yet.)

A lot of posters made good points that babies can come early anyway and that "planning" is not really possible. So, we'll start as early as we can in May and hope for some good results! I know it takes many women a long time to get pregnant, but it seems like there's quite a few who think it will take long and have a quick surprise. I just want to be prepared and not wishing I'd waited a bit longer. Thanks!

kacdanz · February 2015

I'm a teacher and we tried to time it perfectly. I conceived in October and due date is July 4th. I suggest starting in July in case it takes a couple if months.

MrsC0617 · February 2015

BlueWaffleSpeshul said:

surferP528 said:

You are taking these boards way too seriously. I haven't told any friends or family that I'm thinking of TTC and am just looking for some friendly support. I'm going to head elsewhere to find it.

Haters going to hate.

Um. What?

She's a teacher so she can't say "gonna."

OP, I'm a teacher too. I started trying last Feb because I thought it would be perfect to have my baby in November and not come back until January. How naive I was. Here I am a year later and looking into REs. Bottom line... You can't plan life. If being a mother is so important to you, you'll be happy to take what you can get.

Michele825 · February 2015

Good luck, momma. If I had this benefit in my chosen profession (as every job does have their benefits) I would undoubtedly TTC to align with this time off! The teaching calendar is "family friendly" and that is one reason I chose this field. While teaching kiddos was a priority of mine, family was as well. I ended up in childcare as a Director and work year round, but still chose a family friendly environment to lay down my professional roots. Our career choice is exactly that, OUR career choice. And to be on this forum judging others is completely immature and uncalled for!

surferP528 · February 2015

Moirin88 said:

Op I seriously hope my daughter never has a teacher teaching for the reasons you are teaching. You're in it for all the wrong reasons which tells me that you won't care about her or any of the other students' educations. She deserves better.

Hopefully you're teaching your daughter not to judge people based on tiny snippets of information in an online posting. You know nothing about why I'm a teacher or what kind of a teacher I am, so don't be ignorant. Sure, the family schedule was one reason, but that doesn't mean that I did not pick my career for other reasons too. None of which I have to defend here.

Hopefully if your daughter had a teacher who is pregnant, you'd be relieved if they have the baby close to the end of the year in order to minimize time away from her class and be the best teacher throughout the year.

surferP528 · February 2015

Actually I didn't say it was the only reason. That's the assumption that you made. I'm done responding to this board. Have a good day everybody!

Let's try to spread helpful, positive information. That's what people come here for.

AdeleDazeem · February 2015

surferP528 said:

Let's try to spread helpful, positive information. That's what people come here for.

You've been here five minutes. I'm so glad you know exactly what this board is, was and exists for.

I was here for six years. I found your post absolutely ridiculous. You would love to have a baby at a time that doesn't use up all your sick/leave time? WOULDN'T WE ALL?? I have to use up all my sick and leave time for my maternity time. Most of the US does.

Get a clue about the real world.

maybebabymiles · February 2015

@surferP528‌ I just want you to know that there are some here posting and looking for responses just like you are- not all of us come here to start a fight and talk crap on message boards because they have nothing better to do in their spare time! On that note- I feel for you because I too wish to time it right so I can maximize my quite months of work with a new baby! I'm not a teacher but I own my own wedding venue- which is slammed during spring summer and fall. It's hard to think that if have to hire help and hope to keep the quality of my family business the same if I had a baby during the middle of wedding season! Not to mention, it would increase my expenses along with baby costs to hire more help- and there is no such thing as paid maternity leave when you run your own business. I'd sure love to be pregnant during the wedding season and have a baby in the winter while my business isn't as time demanding! I know there are lots of factors and you can't expect to time it perfectly (or at all) ... But I hope to see that luck might be with you and I! I wish you all the best for a healthy, well timed pregnancy! Good luck!

lovelychaos03 · February 2015

AdeleDazeem said:

surferP528 said:

Let's try to spread helpful, positive information. That's what people come here for.

You've been here five minutes. I'm so glad you know exactly what this board is, was and exists for.

I was here for six years. I found your post absolutely ridiculous. You would love to have a baby at a time that doesn't use up all your sick/leave time? WOULDN'T WE ALL?? I have to use up all my sick and leave time for my maternity time. Most of the US does.

Get a clue about the real world.

MrsC0617 · February 2015

Michele825 said:
Good luck, momma. If I had this benefit in my chosen profession (as every job does have their benefits) I would undoubtedly TTC to align with this time off! The teaching calendar is "family friendly" and that is one reason I chose this field. While teaching kiddos was a priority of mine, family was as well. I ended up in childcare as a Director and work year round, but still chose a family friendly environment to lay down my professional roots. Our career choice is exactly that, OUR career choice. And to be on this forum judging others is completely immature and uncalled for!

Don't want to be judged on a public forum? Don't post on one, "momma."

apclove · February 2015

I hope things work out for you! I know that sometimes things are just out of our control but ifyou can make it happen where you spend more time with your baby, more power to you! I love kids and work at my LO's school. A job where I have the exact same vacation as my LO is a wonderful benefit and 1 of the main reasons I work at a school. Good luck OP

pottsyb · February 2015

Good luck to you! I'm a teacher too. I am a step mom and am planning one and done so I would love as much time with my baby as possible. But as my husband often reminds me, you can't count on it working out exactly as planned. We would love a spring baby and plan to start TTC around April in case it takes longer than expected. I'll be thrilled whenever we have a baby as I'm sure you will be, too!

[Deleted User] · February 2015

jnissa said:

^I'd like to second this and tell you that when teachers make statements like this in a public forum, it doesn't do your cause any good in terms of making the rest of the population support you (which they should). I come from a family of teachers and know how hard they work, but I would be lying if I said it didn't rub me a bit the wrong way then they talk about how DESPERATELY they need a break at Christmas time after a solid 3.5 months of work. I have also hear this maternity leave speech before, and would like to remind you that the rest of the population for the most part gets 6-8 weeks of unpaid maternity leave and does not have an extra three months in the summer to spend with their new child. No doubt that teachers work hard, but so do many other people with less favorable benefits. Post like this will work to further talk about teaches as overpaid and over-benefitted, neither of which are necessarily true, but you're not doing your profession any favors when you post clueless comments like this in public forums about how nice it would be if your paid maternity leave (still likely longer than most people get) aligned with your three months off in the summer.

Do not tell me that you work 70 hours a week during the school year. I do as well. For 52 weeks of the year.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to call BS here. Unless someone never attended school then they are aware that SOME teachers have the summer off (although a healthy amount, including myself, have a second job that runs through the summer or they work summer school). And anyone else in that position would be doing the exact same thing. I am a third year teacher and am planning to *attempt* to join up the end of my pregnancy with the end of the school year. Why? Because I don't want to leave my students with a damn sub for 3 months.

Also, we only get paid for 10 months of the year. Our summers are unpaid.

Teachers should be respected because we educate the country. We should not be shamed into not asking for advice.

I know this thread has been silent for a few days but this is nonsense.

JamieSwi · February 2015

People who don't teach have no clue. Hold your urine for hours and keep lecturing while dying of thirst, keep disruptions in a class to a minimum, teach and talk most of the day standing, give up your lunch to help students-yes, every day, plan engaging lessons, after school, call parents when papers aren't turned in (high school 20-30 parents at 5-10 minutes a phone call,) attend IEP and 504 meetings, that can last until 5:30, start working at 7, grade all evening and at least 8 hours on your weekend (5 subjects for 38 students in elementary and 200+ students in high school) and smile the whole time--- don't call in sick when you are running a fever and vomiting because your substitute--replacement may not show and all your students lose important instructional time, weave in common core standards, scaffold lessons for students across the continuum of learning: special education, English language learners, general education students and magnet students. Always listen to people say how great your benefits are and how you barely work with summers off. This is a profession of service and no one else "gets it." 10-months of pay and endentured servant conditions warrant you to have your baby the best way it benefits you, your students,your district and when your state testing will be held. Get pregnant during the summer and have a spring baby (April). Teach your buns off, continue to make sacrifices from your family and personal life (and sanity) and take off before the baby is born. You will have prepared your students, honored your district, and allow yourself enough time to get nursing/leaking/sleeping/pumping schedules under control. You deserve to use the disability you pay for out of YOUR pocket (district does not pay for it). It's unpaid-- like most employers and you are paid 80% after you use EVERY sick day ever accrued (which you will pay for your sub out of your pocket until disability kicks in). Don't take over 5-months, as you will lose your health benefits.
Good luck and God bless you for teaching the students of today who are so entitled. Those of you who aren't teachers: try to walk a mile in a teacher of today's shoes. It's even harder pregnant.

DMGK · February 2015

Positivity. On the Internet. In a forum full of women.
welcome to the Internet?

cnf2013 · February 2015

Personally, based on the new testing standards and regimes, I'f honestly rather NOT have a spring baby. You want a sub to be in your room during the last two-three months of school when the stakes are the highest? You know a good chunk of your end of year evaluation is based on test scores? Your job, sadly, depends on test scores at this point. Who would even leave their fate in a sub's hands like that? I'd rather have a baby early to mid year when curriculum isn't as demanding and you can work to catch your students up towards the end of the year and fill in any gaps a sub may have created.

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