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March 2015 Moms
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Fathers mom asking for paternity test!

jokari1219jokari1219 member
in March 2015 Moms
Ughhhhh talk about a frustrating topic! So throughout this entire pregnancy she has been on my heels asking me to get a DNA..she always ends it with "nothing personal" or "I've asked both my sons" it really bothers me, just because his first baby mother showed up outta nowhere at 7.5 months pregnant talking bout this your kid now EVERYBODY needs to get a DNA!! I have been with my bf since the initial test. WE BOTH agreed on having this baby and were totally happy! Now though HE is constantly reminding me about this damn DNA! Makes feel like he wants it just as bad!!! I'm really frustrated by this whole thing! I've never denied them of the test this whole pregnancy but now since my LO will be here by csection in 2 DAYS it's like they are reminding me AGAIN WTF?!?!? His mom even went so far as to send me a pic of his last son's DNA TEST saying "nothing personal" I mean seriously?!
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Re: Fathers mom asking for paternity test!

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  • jokari1219jokari1219 member
    Exactly @takerany‌ @noodlienoodles‌ my point exactly! It is hurtful! It's like first off what type of woman do you think I am?! It's so frustrating! I am going to take the test so they can STFU! But still...back off lady!
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  • jillbabe91jillbabe91 member
    Tell her to bud out! Wow that takes a lot of nerve a MIL saying that to you.
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  • Ashlee692Ashlee692 member
    If my MIL said that to me I would be really upset! Her shoving that in your face is hurtful and insulting! Like many of the other posters on here have stated - I would make her pay for the test if she's so insistent on you taking it, then I would tell her to butt out of your business! Don't be afraid to tell her like it is - especially since she wants to get all ridiculous with you!
    Ugh I'm sorry your going through that, it just hits a nerve in my head reading this
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  • jokari1219jokari1219 member
    @Mic512‌ I've thought about that time and time again, not letting them be around the baby but honestly that is my only support system right now which makes it even harder!!! My family is all out of state! My mother is flying in for the birth but leaving in a week
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  • AngelaketaAngelaketa member
    If you get the test I would wait until the baby was born and make them pay for it. But please believe once paternity was established everyone would be told to kiss my big black a**...actually I would tell them that before and after taking the test. SMH.
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  • ptanona007ptanona007 member
    I'd certainly make sure that she pays and go to the most expensive place you can find. Not that you have to do it at all! I'd be upset if my husband asked for a test, enough to perhaps need counseling or something.
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  • Christina80xoxoChristina80xoxo member
    My daughters father told me the same thing because I left him. I know how insulting it feels. I'm going to do it just so I can laugh in his face. It's coming out of his pocket though. I'm sorry they are doing that to you. It totally sucks a piece of the joy out of the whole thing knowing they feel that way.
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  • rdpast1986rdpast1986 member
    That's insulting! I wouldn't take any DNA test and I would tell his mom that you are not a b**** and because of her you decided she won't have a relationship with her grandkid. And if he says something about it I would break up with him and raise the baby by myself. Would be hard but not impossible. Your baby and you don't deserve to be treated like that.
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  • mermaid1113mermaid1113 member
    I would tell her and your boyfriend to lay off. And I wouldn't say it nicely, because frankly- its BS the way you are being treated.

    Also- tell her that until you get around to doing the DNA test, she cant be around the baby- "nothing personal".
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  • lunalukitalunalukita member
    Honestly I would just go home to your family. If this guy wont stand up for you then he doesn't truly love you more than himself. Walk and dont look back.
    And no I would not subject my newbo baby to an unnecessary and painful test for anyone.
    If they want it they can get a judges order and pay for it themselves
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  • jenandcrisjenandcris member
    If I were in your position, although HIGHLY offended, I would just do it (at his mother's expense) to shut them up. That said, I would not keep silent about feeling slighted. You should not be subjected to a past mistake. :-/ Good luck... sounds like your ILs are a ball of fun!
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  • kellbell1982kellbell1982 member
    lunalukita said:

    Honestly I would just go home to your family. If this guy wont stand up for you then he doesn't truly love you more than himself. Walk and dont look back.
    And no I would not subject my newbo baby to an unnecessary and painful test for anyone.
    If they want it they can get a judges order and pay for it themselves

    There's really nothing painful about the test for the baby. They swab his cheek with a qtip. I'd just do it OP. As much as it is offensive to you, a man does have the right to know for sure. We women know it's our child but men have to take our word for it. Being as I'm married, my husband knows that this is his child. However, my cousin had an 8 year old daughter who he paid child support for and saw regularly. He was incredibly attached to her. One day his daughter mentioned something to him about her other daddy that mommy said is secret. Well, he found out that she was collecting support from two men and subjecting her daughter to the confusion and pain of calling two different men daddy. Worst part is that when the test was done, neither man was the father. My cousin is still screwed up to this day over it and has been barred from seeing the little girl he raised and loved as his daughter by her vindictive mother.
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  • theladycoy13theladycoy13 member
    I would take the test mail them the results an file court papers for child support. Thank them both so much for showing you now just how low they think of you. You don't deserve to be treated like this hugs to you for all they have been put you though ...
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  • nicolerae90nicolerae90 member
    "Nothing personal" but since you question the child, you dont need to see the baby is what id be saying. And id tell the father, baby doesnt need your last name either and you arent signing the birth certificate. Since you want to be a little asshole. I know how highly offensive it is. Ive had two paternity tests done with my DS and DD months after they were born...all of a sudden when a court petition was filed it was "idk if they are mine" funny how that works.
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  • psypixiepsypixie member
    Sorry you have to deal with that! What a bunch of BS. I'm going through something similar, though. Except it's not my SOs mother, it's my SO himself demanding the test which just makes me so upset! He didn't decide to drop that bomb on me until I was already 7 months along, like "oh, I just need 'verification'". I can somewhat understand where he's coming from, we broke up for not even two weeks over the summer, before I got pregnant, but even when we were "broken up" he was still at our apartment with me many of those days, and we were still very much intimate. I'd hardly call that a break up, but whatever.... I have nothing to worry about so I'll give him his "verification", but it's still super frustrating and somewhat offensive. Just more BS I have to deal with!

    So I feel your annoyance and I'm really sorry! It'll be okay! She'll feel really stupid when the DNA test proves what she's questioning and then like others have said, I would not let her around the baby until a sincere apology is given.
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  • theladycoy13theladycoy13 member
    xMina4x said:


    theladycoy13 said:

    I would take the test mail them the results an file court papers for child support. Thank them both so much for showing you now just how low they think of you. You don't deserve to be treated like this hugs to you for all they have been put you though ...

    This. And then tell them that the court papers for child support are "nothing personal"

    Couldn't agree with you more !!! I would so be gone..what type of support is that and what type of man is he ?? My husband's family members ever did something like this or,he did the only thing he would be getting is divorce papers !!!
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  • mrsmcpreggersmrsmcpreggers member
    I would take the test if my partner asked me to. However, I would never allow his mother to discuss an issue like this with me. It is absolutely none of her business. Your SO is either ok with her asking or he's too scared to ask her to back down. Either way it's completely unappealing.
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  • okieamyokieamy member
    edited February 2015
    That is extremely frustrating. I can see their want for one, since there is a history to it, but they are definitely being too persistent about it. I would talk to them, especially the father (and make sure he talks to his mother), and explain that you have agreed to take the test want to hear nothing else about it because of how it makes you feel. And you definitely don't need to pay for it, especially since you don't need it.
    I wouldn't try to put a rift between you and anyone, because it seems you don't have any plans to end things with your SO & they are all the baby's family regardless of what happens between you and the father. You're going to have to interact with them, might as well keep things as pleasant as possible for your sake and the baby's.
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  • DayspaDayspa member
    As a man, i think it is an important part of love that he fights for you in front of his family, and do only what you are comfortable with. But for reasons sake you must ask yourself a few things:

    1) Do you have a history to make him disbelieve you, and quite frankly its insulting if you dont.

    2) Are you financially depended on him/ his family, because if you are, you should do as they say until you find other means for the sake of the child.

    3) Is that a question a man in love would ask, because when love is certain, your word is truth

    4) How would it make you feel after you take the test, will there be grudges, will you be able to look at certain people the way you used to.

    I suggest talking to your family or close ones. You dont need to answer these questions here, the answers are for you only and the pros and cons are for you to judge.
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