Community› The Bump Message Boards› 3rd Trimester
3rd Trimester
New Discussion

Feel like I dont want my baby any more.

SarahDeRomeSarahDeRome member
in 3rd Trimester
Super depressed. NO ONE has understood my reasoning for my IDEA of a decision.
I have ALWAYS wanted a child. I've had 6 miscarriages. 6!
But now, 28 weeks pregnant, you'd think I'd be happy as can be right?
No.
I'm considering adoption.
My SO treats me like absolute crap. He was once great to me. Told me he wanted our child as much as I did.
I don't think I'll be able to raise my son because when I look at him I'll be reminded of the lie he told me that he wanted him too.
People say get over it and do what you need for your baby.
I can't live with a constant reminder.
I'm not crazy, just can't deal with things the way other people can.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Feel like I dont want my baby any more.

  • MaebbMaebb member
    I am sorry about your previous losses.

    Get help, talk to a counselor, and really think about your options. Are you still with your SO? If he treats you like crap, maybe you shouldn't be with him. Adoption is a wonderful thing - just talk to someone and make sure that's what you really want.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • taahirataahira member
    Firstly I'm so sorry for your losses, as I loss mama myself, I know it's heartbreaking. I would really seek some help, pregnancy can be really overwhelming. Closer to your due date, can bring up fears, concerns and reality of this life changing experience. Speak with your OB, a therapist they can help you sort through all these thoughts with you.
    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1b5bfc.aspx[/img][/url]
    Report Reply
  • KatyInNHKatyInNH member
    I can't pretend to know what you're going through or can relate to how you feel in any way. I'm also 28 weeks and if my husband started treating me badly, it wouldn't change the way I feel about my baby. I'd still love and keep her and get rid of him. Parenthood is about doing what's best for your child whether you and your SO are getting along or not.

    You should definitely speak to someone about your feelings- your OB, a counselor... a professional who is equipped to help you deal with these feelings.
    ~
    Married May 18, 2013
    Expecting our first child April 3, 2015
    Report Reply
  • HaruhiChanHaruhiChan member
    I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I agree, getting help through counseling or therapy may be really beneficial to you.

    You may feel this way now, but you don't know if that will change or stay the same once baby is here.

    Either way, if your SO is treating you like crap, you may want to rethink keeping him around if he is still around.

    Children grow as they're raised, for the most part. You have a lot of influence over how your son will grow up. You can teach him the morals that your SO may lack and teach him to be a better person for the next generation. Don't let the genes decide for you. Your son isn't your SO. He will be his own person.

    If adoption is really the route you want to go, that's okay too. You just should carefully tread that decision and be absolutely sure that's what you want. Counseling and therapy can really help with that.

    Good luck, and please know that depression sucks, but it can be managed.
    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Please talk to your OB & a mental health professional about your feelings ASAP.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • WhitfryWhitfry member
    Please get some professional help. You need to talk to somebody trained to help in situations like this.

    While adoption is a wonderful gift, it is not as easy as it would seem. Both parents must willingly terminate their parental rights, you don't get to make this decision for your SO. He has to agree as well, he does have rights to the child. I would hate for you to plan on an outcome that isn't realistic. So if adoption is something you're serious about, you also need to seek out legal representation.
    Report Reply
  • mandi195mandi195 member
    Your relationship with you child and with you SO are two different issues. As a woman who was pregnant and then single well before the baby got here (with my son), I know how scary and hard it can be. I was young, alone, and terrified. I couldn't imagine doing it solo. That said, I also loved and wanted my child. I chose to keep my baby, and am endlessly grateful for every day with him. I know I never would have forgiven myself if I had given him up for adoption. 
    That said, every situation and person is different. I think that before you make any decisions at all, you should talk to a psychologist or therapist about what you're feeling, and make sure that you are 100% certain of your decision before you make it, because once you give a child up for adoption, that's it... there's no turning back. 
    I wish you luck. 
    Report Reply
  • ajacot924ajacot924 member
    I really recommend, like the other ladies, that you seek help immediately. Speak with your OB and he/she can offer some mental health resources. I suffered from depression for years and I know how much those thoughts can mess with your mind. Once you get help, you often can't believe you ever thought any of those things. Be sure to get help before those thoughts become actions that can't be undone. Good luck.
    Report Reply
  • MrsTucker2011MrsTucker2011 member
    First change your username. It's incredibly easy to find you and a lot of info you have public.

    2nd, PPs have good advice. Seek counseling ASAP.
    Anniversary 

    Report Reply
  • lucylouxoxolucylouxoxo member
    Always put your child first. It's not your baby's fault you picked a fucking turd. Find someone else. Get help and don't make this all about you. A small little baby could possibly be adopted bc his mother is too concerned about her damn love life. Sounds just like my mom. Please look into enlightenment and realize the bigger picture in life
    Report Reply
  • Wonderland438Wonderland438 member
    I echo the recommendation for some counselling - these are all big issues, and it would be helpful to have someone who is trained to help you sort it out, and just wants to see you be happy - a counselor is just the thing here.

    I also wanted to just ask you to think of something - are you going to allow a jerk the power in your life to have you give up the thing you've most longed for?  Don't let him have that much power.  
    Trying to Conceive Ticker
    Report Reply
  • lovexhplovexhp member

    I, too, agree you should seek some professional help. I have never lost a child, but I have had two unplanned pregnancies after my first son was born, and I love my second son more than anything just like my first and I know when my third gets here next month I will feel the same. I have issues with their dads and they were liars too. You don't need a man to raise your child!


    When you lay eyes on your baby everything changes. You'll want your baby for YOU. YOU were chosen to be this childs mother.


    If your baby is born, and you don't feel that way, you can have a social worker come visit you in the hospital to discuss adoption.


    God bless you and I pray you make the right decision.

    Report Reply
  • Bamamamma123Bamamamma123 member
    It sounds like due to some troubling situations in your pregnancy you may be dealing with depression. It's just as common to have depression while pregnant as after. Just talk to your doctor about maybe getting some therapy before you make any big decisions. I had severe ppocd when my first child was born if you want to talk
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"