I need to vent or my husband is going to get an ear full soon

djsmommytobe · February 2015

Okay. I'm 26 weeks. Newly married. My husband works 15hour days and our house is being renovated (due to flooding) so we are staying at my in laws. I am going to go insane. Does anyone have any tips on how to handle in laws and their pesky opinions about EVERYTHING. and the constant stomach Groping (not touching, not asking, just cuppin a feel as I walk by). Not to mention I am nesting and from these SLOWWWWW workers the insurance hired, it looks like I'll be having this baby before we get our house back... And my in laws are just Horrific messy people. It's gross. From little mold spots in the bathroom to really old food in the kitchen. And not to mention their four NOT well behaved dogs that bark 24 friggin 7 and keep me and my husband awake! And I tell the in laws that there will be serious changes if I have to live here with a newborn. If the dogs don't stop barking at every little noise, or jumping on me every 2 seconds.... I'm going to lock them in a bedroom or lock them outside (which I don't understand why they aren't outside more since its 66 degrees out with lots of shade and room to roam. I'm going to lose my head. And I can't vent to my husband every day because I don't want him to come home from 15 hour days or arresting people, just so he can hear me complain about his parents. Am I over reacting? I mean, they are really nice people, but I am the only one that cleans (and I can't really call it "cleaning" cause I only use water to do it since I don't wanna use chemicals). I just feel as though I don't want my child being born in this messy place! And I hate cats, and they have 4. And if they think my kid is going into their bedroom (where they lock 2 cats away in 24-7) they are highly mistaken. Oh. And I am actually very nice. Im just getting to the point where I'm afraid that I'm going to just burst open and lose it to this entire household. [-X

blankenbakerh · February 2015

So sorry! Your are not mean because I would feel the same way! While I would be thankful not to be on the street, I would be ready to explode! I can't stand dirty. I am borderline OCD about things being clean and organized. I also hate having old food in the refrigerator. I also, even though I love my dog, can't stand pet odors or hair! Our dog is a mostly outside dog except in bad weather, cold temps, etc. We let her in occasionally but she is super well behaved. I sweep religiously to keep dog hair out. I am allergic and have asthma so it's kind of key for me. Another reason I try to keep the house clean. I don't mind lived in, like my kids have toys out or something. However there is no way I could deal with mold, dirt and just plain gross. I would be calling the contractor who is fixing my house and ask them what completion date did they and the insurance agree on. If it's not before LO is born I would call the insurance and explain to them you have to have the house back before then. Make them move it up some! Also if it gets really stressful you can always tell your insurance that you need to be put up in a hotel. Usually if a repair requires you to stay elsewhere they will provide accommodation. Or at least this has been my experience with renters insurance. Hope things get better and your house is fixed ASAP.

JuliaRL · February 2015

Wow... that's terrible! I don't really have any advice, except shouldn't the insurance company also be paying for a hotel? My car insurance pays for a rental...

djsmommytobe · February 2015

Right? They said they would only pay for a hotel for a couple weeks. -_- it's such BS.

djsmommytobe · February 2015

They also said the earliest they could get it done by is May 10. That's 12 days before I'm due. Which means we'd have to bust it out putting the nursery back together. And having that 12 days for the paint smell to leave the room. I don't want my son to get all high off paint fumes. Such a lame way to have to start all this. I am definitely glad I leave in two days to visit my family in a different state for two whole weeks. Maybe my little getaway will give me a break before I lose it on my in laws. Haha

menta84 · February 2015

So sorry you are going through this. I understand it may be frustrating living in an environment where you're not comfortable with. I'd be going insane too! I have to say though, unfortunately, it's their house and you can't really do anything about their habits and the dogs/cats situation. I really don't think you have the right to "lock them outside" or say that there will be any "serious changes", I mean it's not your house. You could maybe ask nicely for certain behaviors to be adjusted but you certainly can't demand anything. If it's really that bad, I would look for an alternative as to where to stay (maybe your parents, siblings, friends?) and if that's not possible then you just have to deal with it for a while longer. I really hope your house gets fixed soon so that you can forget about all the stress at your in laws. Good luck with everything.

brandy1116 · February 2015

Check the language in your insurance policy for any hotel accommodations or language about the time work requires. It may be worth a letter from an attorney to try to get different living arrangements or at least a more speedy process. Hang in there though!

marijaa333 · February 2015

i'm actually staying at a hotel now because my apartment had a leak and developed a mold problem over time. they're taking around three weeks to fix it. my landlord's insurance is covering it for now.

marissaprince · February 2015

So sorry you have to go through this! My mother has been on a long vacation staying with my husband and I, and she tends to get on my husband's last nerve. Don't get me wrong they love each other but my mom is over protective and nosey! So he ignores her, when she gets in our finances or over steps her boundaries my husband simply says, "we are adults, and that's your opinion" then walks away. Maybe you should try something along those lines... But as far as being touched, I would tell them it makes you feel uncomfortable and to stop. Hope I could help!

BeccaE27 · February 2015

djsmommytobe said:
They also said the earliest they could get it done by is May 10. That's 12 days before I'm due. Which means we'd have to bust it out putting the nursery back together. And having that 12 days for the paint smell to leave the room. I don't want my son to get all high off paint fumes. Such a lame way to have to start all this. I am definitely glad I leave in two days to visit my family in a different state for two whole weeks. Maybe my little getaway will give me a break before I lose it on my in laws. Haha

I bought paint for our nursery that doesn't smell. I don't remember what it's called but if you tell the person you're buying the paint from that it's for a kids room and you want something without an oder it does exist.

blankenbakerh · February 2015

BeccaE27 said:

djsmommytobe said:
They also said the earliest they could get it done by is May 10. That's 12 days before I'm due. Which means we'd have to bust it out putting the nursery back together. And having that 12 days for the paint smell to leave the room. I don't want my son to get all high off paint fumes. Such a lame way to have to start all this. I am definitely glad I leave in two days to visit my family in a different state for two whole weeks. Maybe my little getaway will give me a break before I lose it on my in laws. Haha
I bought paint for our nursery that doesn't smell. I don't remember what it's called but if you tell the person you're buying the paint from that it's for a kids room and you want something without an oder it does exist.

Yes at Lowes you can buy low odor paint . You can get it at Home Depot as well. We just painted our girls room and their furniture. Well DH painted it. We shut the door when he was done left the windows open with a fan running. There was hardly any fumes from the paint we bought but aired it out anyways. It was pretty much gone the next day.

saric83 · February 2015

Yeah definitely check with your insurance company again!! The term for what this would be is called "loss of use", and for example, my policy has unlimited for up to 12 months, which means that they'll put me in something comparable for up to 12 months, if I can't live there.

So they may have said they would pay for that hotel for a few weeks because that hotel wasn't considered "of like kind and quality" to your place, but that's just a sneaky way to avoid putting you up somewhere else longer term (more like a Liv-Inn Suites versus an upscale Hilton).

This is absolutely a time where you should be raising a stink with them. Just bluntly ask them what your loss of use term is (if you don't have your policy handy) and see what they say. I would be VERY surprised to hear if it's something so minimal as a few weeks.

JuliaRL · February 2015

yeah, most paint nowadays doesn't smell the way it used to. It's not generally oil-based or latex paint, but water-based.

CheesyNachos · February 2015

Ditto on the paint, Id be at my house everyday busting balls!
As far as your in laws, if you are stuck there you'd better speak up.
You can also clean with vinegar.

smurf605 · February 2015

Sounds like a stressful situation! However, I think it's unfair to expect your inlaws to make changes in their home for you. They are doing you a favor to give you a place to live. You should discuss any concerns with your DH and discuss what other options you have.

sakafa · February 2015

This is a really frustrating situation! I hope you feel better after getting it off your chest. I don't have any advice because I am positive I'd be ripping my hair out!

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