Breastfeeding and live in stepson

lauren7441 · February 2015

we have an amazing relationship! My step son is 8 years old and lives with us full time! I plan to breastfeed this baby but I want to be respectful of the fact that that would totally weird him out! Has anyone experienced this?

prairiedreams · February 2015

Not with someone who lived with us but I was a church youth worker during breast feeding with DS. The "kids" were over all the time just to hang out or for activities so i just used a cover. Made DS feel safe I think and I am modest so made me feel better too.

tinktink20 · February 2015

I think you should breastfeed in front of him. It will be a good experience for him. If you're concerned about his comfort, you can always cover up a bit.

ittybittybaker09 · February 2015

I agree with @tinktink20‌! While maybe not just pull your boobs out and do it, having him be around will be great exposure and learning experience. He can learn the benefits and why you do it! I have two step sons and will have no problem bfing in front of them.

ChristyM87 · February 2015

I think if your step son sees you breastfeeding it will no longer be weird. You could talk to him about how some babies eat from the breast and explain it to him

kat+1 · February 2015

This is definitely something that your husband and his asked me to talk maybe if you have a relationship with her you can talk to her about it too but you guys need to be at United parental system and let little guy know that you're going to be breast-feeding and that it's natural and it's normal and that some babies bottles and some babies use boobs. I have a nine-year-old stepdaughter who in August after my son was born came to visit and she sent me breast-feeding and she just looked at a couple questions and was fine with it already told her that I would be breast-feeding in that she didn't need to stare it was something normal and if she had questions she can ask and if she didn't like it she didn't have to be in the room she can go somewhere else. She thinks it's pretty cool and actually asked quite few questions and it doesn't even phase her.but for sure have that conversation with all of this child's parents make sure that everybody knows everybody's on the same page because he goes to his moms house and he says so-and-so pulled her boob friend me and I saw her boob that could lead to problems

Lalala2326 · February 2015

Have you talked to him about it yet? I think that having you and your husband have a casual conversation with him about it would certainly be the first step. If he is really uncomfortable, maybe in the beginning either cover up some or cue him in before you start so that he can leave if he wants to. My guess is that it will normalize pretty quick, and it will become a non-issue. I would try to be more sensitive though if he has friends over or something like that obviously. Even though it is completely normal/natural, other 8 year olds not exposed to it regularly might not respond as well which can have implications for your stepson.

jenandbrett · February 2015

I agree about talking to your husband, but I'm sure it will be totally fine. I'm modest so I would cover up in front of a young boy, but you and your husband can discuss that. It will be just fine

Starynightsky24 · February 2015

Just breastfeed. He needs to learn that this is completely normal. If you are confident, and act like its normal, it will come normal to him as well.

prpl11butterfly · February 2015

I would say go for it, after explaining it to him. My 6yo niece lives with my husband and I and I plan to explain it to her (once we are closer to that time). She has already made comments about how many bottles we are going to need to buy and helping me feed the baby so I'm pretty sure she's gonna be a little shocked (none of my family/friends have breastfed and she was too little to remember life before living with us). Its totally natural and he will learn to accept that as just another part of life.

hanababe · February 2015

I will have the same situation when my little one comes too, good question!

Unknown · February 2015

This content has been removed.

Miz_Liz · February 2015

I would still cover up. Doesn't mean that it is any less natural or take away from what you are doing for your baby, but I just don't see the need to whip them out either.

sschwege · February 2015

Miz_Liz said:

I would still cover up. Doesn't mean that it is any less natural or take away from what you are doing for your baby, but I just don't see the need to whip them out either.

That's all fine and good until baby is a few months old and doesn't want to be under a cover anymore. I just can't imagine needing to cover up in my own house!

Miz_Liz · February 2015

sschwege said:

Miz_Liz said:

I would still cover up. Doesn't mean that it is any less natural or take away from what you are doing for your baby, but I just don't see the need to whip them out either.

That's all fine and good until baby is a few months old and doesn't want to be under a cover anymore. I just can't imagine needing to cover up in my own house!

To each their own, I just don't see anything wrong with teaching modesty at the same time as teaching about nature. Sex is natural too, doesn't mean I would do it in front of others. I am not saying don't BF in front of him, but there are plenty of tactful ways to do it without whipping them out. Plus once the baby is latched they block most of the view anyway so it isn't like the baby has to be completely under a cover the whole time.

sschwege · February 2015

Miz_Liz said:

sschwege said:

Miz_Liz said:

I would still cover up. Doesn't mean that it is any less natural or take away from what you are doing for your baby, but I just don't see the need to whip them out either.

That's all fine and good until baby is a few months old and doesn't want to be under a cover anymore. I just can't imagine needing to cover up in my own house!

To each their own, I just don't see anything wrong with teaching modesty at the same time as teaching about nature. Sex is natural too, doesn't mean I would do it in front of others. I am not saying don't BF in front of him, but there are plenty of tactful ways to do it without whipping them out. Plus once the baby is latched they block most of the view anyway so it isn't like the baby has to be completely under a cover the whole time.

You are the one who discussed 'whipping them out' not me. All I do is pull up my shirt, latch baby and pull my shirt down, I would hardly call that 'whipping them out'.

I guess Mr. Rogers would disagree with your view on 'teaching modesty':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMAzpwVDON0

and Sesame Street:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-L-Fg7lWgQ

I guess these women were being immodest huh?

babyweber15 · February 2015

There's no way I'm going to wear a cover ever, let alone in my own house. It should be about your own comfort level though. If you're not comfortable you can always use a cover.

GorJessMama · February 2015

I am a very modest person and I always bf alone in my room with baby, I enjoy it as our time. I don't even bf in front of my 3 and 7 year old daughters. I personally would be furious if my ex's new wife bf in front of my 8 year old son without a cover but that's just me. I find it to be intimate and enjoy privacy.

Unknown · February 2015

This content has been removed.

Miz_Liz · February 2015

knitttingmama said:

sschwege said:

Miz_Liz said:

sschwege said:

Miz_Liz said:

I would still cover up. Doesn't mean that it is any less natural or take away from what you are doing for your baby, but I just don't see the need to whip them out either.

That's all fine and good until baby is a few months old and doesn't want to be under a cover anymore. I just can't imagine needing to cover up in my own house!

To each their own, I just don't see anything wrong with teaching modesty at the same time as teaching about nature. Sex is natural too, doesn't mean I would do it in front of others. I am not saying don't BF in front of him, but there are plenty of tactful ways to do it without whipping them out. Plus once the baby is latched they block most of the view anyway so it isn't like the baby has to be completely under a cover the whole time.

You are the one who discussed 'whipping them out' not me. All I do is pull up my shirt, latch baby and pull my shirt down, I would hardly call that 'whipping them out'.

I guess Mr. Rogers would disagree with your view on 'teaching modesty':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMAzpwVDON0

and Sesame Street:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-L-Fg7lWgQ

I guess these women were being immodest huh?

I love you! Breastfeeding your baby is never immodest.

If this were true they wouldn't make nursing covers....or nursing shirts with discrete openings. Or have rooms in public places specifically for women to go nurse in private. Again, to each their own, but I for one do not plan to nurse in front of my FIL if he comes over to visit, or my own father....if it is just one of my GF's, maybe I will - but that is my choice, just like it is your choice to cover up or not. Obviously OP recognizes that this may be weird for her step son or she would not have posted about this. Not everyone has the same views on it being appropriate to nurse out in the open without covering up at all. No need to act like you are doing the world a public service by educating them on BF'ing being natural. At the end of the day the point is for the baby to get the best nutrients, and my baby will benefit just as much as yours from it, regardless of choosing to being more discrete.

Unknown · February 2015

This content has been removed.

skinandbones · February 2015

Are you kidding me?

Miz_Liz said:

sschwege said:

Miz_Liz said:

I would still cover up. Doesn't mean that it is any less natural or take away from what you are doing for your baby, but I just don't see the need to whip them out either.

That's all fine and good until baby is a few months old and doesn't want to be under a cover anymore. I just can't imagine needing to cover up in my own house!

To each their own, I just don't see anything wrong with teaching modesty at the same time as teaching about nature. Sex is natural too, doesn't mean I would do it in front of others. I am not saying don't BF in front of him, but there are plenty of tactful ways to do it without whipping them out. Plus once the baby is latched they block most of the view anyway so it isn't like the baby has to be completely under a cover the whole time.

Are you kidding me? Feeding your kid is nothing like sex. And I'm so glad you are here to determine what is a tactful way of breastfeeding.

sschwege · February 2015

Miz_Liz said:

knitttingmama said:

sschwege said:

Miz_Liz said:

sschwege said:

Miz_Liz said:

I would still cover up. Doesn't mean that it is any less natural or take away from what you are doing for your baby, but I just don't see the need to whip them out either.

That's all fine and good until baby is a few months old and doesn't want to be under a cover anymore. I just can't imagine needing to cover up in my own house!

To each their own, I just don't see anything wrong with teaching modesty at the same time as teaching about nature. Sex is natural too, doesn't mean I would do it in front of others. I am not saying don't BF in front of him, but there are plenty of tactful ways to do it without whipping them out. Plus once the baby is latched they block most of the view anyway so it isn't like the baby has to be completely under a cover the whole time.

You are the one who discussed 'whipping them out' not me. All I do is pull up my shirt, latch baby and pull my shirt down, I would hardly call that 'whipping them out'.

I guess Mr. Rogers would disagree with your view on 'teaching modesty':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMAzpwVDON0

and Sesame Street:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-L-Fg7lWgQ

I guess these women were being immodest huh?

I love you! Breastfeeding your baby is never immodest.

If this were true they wouldn't make nursing covers....or nursing shirts with discrete openings. Or have rooms in public places specifically for women to go nurse in private. Again, to each their own, but I for one do not plan to nurse in front of my FIL if he comes over to visit, or my own father....if it is just one of my GF's, maybe I will - but that is my choice, just like it is your choice to cover up or not. Obviously OP recognizes that this may be weird for her step son or she would not have posted about this. Not everyone has the same views on it being appropriate to nurse out in the open without covering up at all. No need to act like you are doing the world a public service by educating them on BF'ing being natural. At the end of the day the point is for the baby to get the best nutrients, and my baby will benefit just as much as yours from it, regardless of choosing to being more discrete.

When people start to use the words/phrases, 'discrete' 'whipping it out' 'teaching modesty' 'tactful' and likening BFing in public to having sex in public, then I do feel the need to say something. I just don't want a MTB reading this and thinking this is the way most people think. I don't want new mothers to feel they need to hide because of attitudes such as yours.

They make covers for the comfort of the mother and if the mother wants to wear a cover then she should. They aren't made for the comfort of those around her who are too squeamish to get over the fact that she is just feeding her child.

As far your comment about sex in public, your comparison is invalid. BFing in public with or without a cover is protected by law in most states. Sex in public is not protected.

ann_jeremiah · February 2015

I would just cover up.. answer questions he may have.. It's great for him to see that this is a "normal" thing to do and not weird.

Unknown · February 2015

This content has been removed.

WDDCH · February 2015

Okay I agree with some who say it won't be weird if you treat it as normal. My feeling is that if you feel immodest then cover up or find a quiet room... or he can go play and leave the room if he feels uncomfortable. You'd be surprised by how kids don't even bat an eye about it. It's not like he's going to sit right across from you and stare every time you nurse. Babies tend to block a lot of what one can see when a mother nurses regardless of how you handle this. You'll both work it all out! It's wonderful you care for his comfort.

MissusTexas · February 2015

You would be doing a disservice to him and society by being discreet about bf in front of him- doing so only contributes to the sexualization of breasts when they are made to feed babies!

ljkj2013 · February 2015

I have a step daughter who is almost 11 and a step son who is 8. They live with us full time. I plan on breast feeding and think I will probably cover at first and if we find covers uncomfortable we'll roll with it. I'm modest around them but honestly could care less with other people.. Maybe because they aren't mine? I grew up with parents who walked around buck naked and I never knew it wasn't 100% normal and never felt weird about it until I was a teenager.

Want a personalized experience?

Breastfeeding and live in stepson

Re: Breastfeeding and live in stepson

Choose Another Board

Search Boards