DHs Say the Darndest Things

MrsCaliRN · February 2015

My DH says nutty stuff related to LO, pregnancy, pregnant-lady issues, etc all the time, but what he said RE: LO's movement takes the cake: When he got to feel LO kick for the first time yesterday, I asked him to describe what it felt like to him: He said, "It felt like a strange energy that I can't describe. Almost like lightening striking." Okay, wtf? I was expecting like, "a thump' or a "a small punch" or something, but he got all weird on me. It was pretty adorable seeing his face when he felt it. I think it really meant a lot to him as a soon-to-be dad.

Any of your DHs or SOs say the darndest things related to your LO or your pregnancy? For those who have felt your baby kick from the outside already, how did he describe it?

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

That was a cute story. Bet it felt like lightening striking to him! Momentous! I don't really have anything to add except that DH saw me getting out of the shower the other day and gave me 'damn, babe. You're starting to get big'. (:| Not a very startling revelation, nor very PC of him, but he meant it kindly and gave the bump a pat as he said it so I didn't really care. We can't feel the Ewok from the outside yet. Soon, hopefully.

katyertl · February 2015

When we found out the sex of our baby, a girl! We both swore it was gonna be a boy. And my husband goes "well maybe he's a grower and not a shower so you can't see it right now" like right in the middle of the ultrasound lol. He was mostly joking but still. I was mortified!

mrsmoxie · February 2015

Mine said "you know, I'm so busy paying attention to our daughter, I keep forgetting your pregnant again. You know what I mean?"
I laid there, with heart burn, back pain and feeling the baby punching my bladder and said, "No, I don't forget I'm pregnant." It was pretty funny.

porklump30 · February 2015

"So, you're done with the first trimester, right?" I'm 21 weeks pregnant FFS, yes I'm done with 1st tri!

kendallapp · February 2015

Mine recently said: "We gotta start stocking up on Legos."

I had to explain that Legos are a choking hazard and she may not like them anyway- how about we see what she is interested in and stock up on those?

aj1327 · February 2015

Mine wants to buy an RV this summer so we can take family camping trips. Ummmm...it's our first baby so it's not like we have older kids to take...you know ones that might actually remember the trip. When I asked if he was serious, his response was "Don't you think it would be fun to go to the Grand Canyon in the fall?" I just laughed...but seriously...with a 4 month old. No, I'd rather go when he's old enough to remember it.

eeyorefan215 · February 2015

DH felt the baby flip around for the first time last week. He loved to feel her kick me but the full movement made him freak out. He was totally disgusted - I got upset. He refuses to feel again because it felt so awkward. I keep telling him he'll get over it, but he just can't seem to get that EWW factor out of his head.

shahoi · February 2015

When DH felt baby girl for the first time, he said it felt like a perch nibbling on a worm lol.

DNCP15 · February 2015

I tried to make DH attend a parenting class when I was pregnant with our first. He said he didn't know why, he could find out everything he needed to know on YouTube.

KarasTwin · February 2015

Mine just argued with the ultrasound tech at our a/s on Friday. Seriously asked her if she was sure and how she knew. We were both convinced it was a girl, so when she said boy, we were surprised, but it was still really funny.

kbbtah · February 2015

DH asked why I was wearing stretchy pants to the office. I informed him they were NOT stretchy pants just that my lovely weight gain has made them pretty tight. He was mortified and so embarrassed. We had a great laugh and since then, ive retired the pants until after DS arrives.

Kovak · February 2015

When I was pregnant with DS, I was laying on the couch one evening talking about how I had 20 fingers and 20 toes. DH looked at me and said, "Yep, and you even have a pair of balls!"
He hasn't said anything too goofy this pregnancy so far. It's not over yet though.

clydesmom · February 2015

My kids' dad has only been to 1 appointment in 3 pregnancies and is currently working out of state. When I texted him that the u/s showed girl, his response was simply "f@ck". Apparently a 3rd girl is too much to handle.

mkfedd · February 2015

I met my husband for lunch while he was working this last weekend. I'm 20wks and I can just barely fit into a pair of my jeans, so I don't wear them much. He sees me and states, "I'm surprised you're in jeans, I'm surprised they still fit." Thank you honey, it's nice to see you too :-)

ceejay1315 · February 2015

During an argument last week... "What do hormones have to do with a person's moods??? What does that have to do with how mad you are right now?"

medicmomma6115 · February 2015

My husband rubbed my belly and started singing the Baby Beluga song.... Sort of cute yet sort of a play on my belly & weight gain (which so far is only 7#'s @ 23 weeks!)

sambojo1105 · February 2015

When one of my co-workers had her baby last year I showed my husband a picture of the baby and he looked at me and asked "can babies open their eyes when their born?" He was dead serious. I died laughing and responded "they're not puppies!" His response... "well how should I know! The last baby that I knew when it was born was myself!" I can't wait to see what all he says after our baby girl arrives!

Jna0407 · February 2015

DH loves to feel our little girl kick and he always comes running over to feel when she's being active. He doesn't understand that you have to patient and they don't just kick on demand. He gets all sad when he doesn't feel it right away and claims she doesn't like him lol. He lights us when he feels her kick. He recently felt and saw a full movement. My belly was completely lopsided and hard and he goes "It's like an alien creature living inside of you ". Yes, honey, an alien creature. Made me chuckle.

Davila21 · February 2015

sambojo1105 said:
When one of my co-workers had her baby last year I showed my husband a picture of the baby and he looked at me and asked "can babies open their eyes when their born?" He was dead serious. I died laughing and responded "they're not puppies!" His response... "well how should I know! The last baby that I knew when it was born was myself!" I can't wait to see what all he says after our baby girl arrives!

This sounds just like something my boyfriend would say. Lol I would have died too!

Kathjnr22 · February 2015

Dh had his hand on my tummy a few weeks ago and there was a kick - (i didn't think he'd be able to feel it and didn't say anything) he jumped and gave me a weird look at said what the he'll was that?! I said "ah...the baby!dah!" He was afraid to touch me again.... his face was priceless - he'd been so looking forward to feeling bubs move/kick but when he did....

taboullio84 · February 2015

Mine asked when will the baby get his dimples in. ( since he had them he thought the baby would too ) :-\"

RaiEliJusHell1369 · February 2015

Mine said "next thing you know he'll be popping out of your chest... like in Alien."

Guess I'm harboring an alien now guys

)

karaelaine1991 · February 2015

DH today: "I don't mean this in a bad way... but your belly is getting SO BIG."

Obviously that's what's supposed to happen during pregnancy and I didn't take offense to it... but if he said that to literally anyone else in any other situation he'd be in so much trouble! Made me laugh

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

When DH and were talking due dates with a friend we realized I was EDD 3 days before the summer solstice. DH told me I'd have to "hold it in" until the 21st if baby tried to come before that. I'd like a solstice kid, tho, so hopefully it works out that way

HayesRN13 · February 2015

Our little guy kicks so hard, DH says it's because it's his kid and he's using my umbilical cord as a jump rope and pull-up bar, says he's already physical training in the womb lol. And to top it at our ultrasound he was totally flexing his "biceps", DH said "told you" so cute

cbrtncanadian · February 2015

shahoi said:
When DH felt baby girl for the first time, he said it felt like a perch nibbling on a worm lol.

This made me laugh out loud! We are
Big in to fishing so it's something I would expect him to say!

Esmerelda2012 · February 2015

We were shopping and DH turns around and declares we need one of "those baby carrier things". I turn around to see a mom or something with a unique carrier. I question him and he repeats himself. I ask him to show me what it is he is talking about...he walks over to the car seats and says "we need one of these!". I calmy explain they are car seats and the base is what stays in the car and that way if the baby falls asleep it is easy to bring baby in and out without waking because of this nifty invention. He gets this look of amazement and laughs and says "We SOOOO need one of these!"

Made me laugh

shestorms · February 2015

My hubby has felt the baby kick multiple times and he will just say, "whoah" or "cool" but sometimes when the baby's kicking me a lot and I tell he says " hey you in there be nice to your mother!" Cracks me up everytime.

dancegurl1118 · February 2015

Oh my husband called my boobs floppy today (I had tiny B's before and MAYBE small C's right now). I literally looked at him thinking of the best way to dismember him and he couldn't figure out why I was upset because "he didn't mean floppy in a bad way" (WTF) I know he didn't because he comments on how much he loves my boobs everyday but I was like...you need a better word.

KarasTwin · February 2015

I've recently really began showing and while I love it because it mean little man is growing, I feel like it happened over night. I mentioned last night to DH that I felt like I looked weird and his response was, "No, you just look bulbous". I'm sure he didn't mean it as an insult, but that's not exactly complimentary. Bless him, he didn't realize why it wasn't ok to say that

HoosOnFirst · February 2015

We are car shopping today and I asked if I should play up the pregnancy angle and wear a tighter shirt. My husband confessed he thought of this too, in that if we need to put pressure on or walk away from a bad deal, I can just say I'm not feeling well from baby stuff.

bbnmama2012 · February 2015

I think my DH is trying to steal my pregnancy thunder. Lol. During my first trimester, he threw up more than I did. He has more cravings than I do. He's gained just as much weight as I have. When I complain about my back pain, he has it too (but his pain is worse though). He can't sleep because he "can't get comfortable." The only thing he isn't experiencing is frequent urination, although I'm sure it's just around the corner. He says he is getting man boobs now. Just let me be pregnant, man! At least he can sympathize with me. Trying to be positive!!

momof1tot · February 2015

Lol I enjoyed all of your comments. My husbands says so many things it's hard to pick one, from refusing to read or go to birth class because he can just look it up on Youtube to being so kind to ask me if I need him to help me "Roll off the bed". Oh or double checking "are you should be eating that with all the weight you've gain?" or walking in the bedroom and seeing me laying on bed because of my pelvic pressure pain, to the point I can't move, and he starts "oh you're so chunky now, I love it" and seriouly wants to "get it on!" Hello! I wouldn't walk in the room and hear you complaining about terrible testicle pain and try to "get it on". Crazy husband... but I love him

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

@momof1tot‌ Awww. The loving the chunky and getting it on comments remind me of my man, who constantly says that skinny girls "need a steak" and affectionately pats my "nice, ample ass". Technically not typical compliment territory, but what the hey. They're good guys.

rodriyessi94 · February 2015

HayesRN13 said:
Our little guy kicks so hard, DH says it's because it's his kid and he's using my umbilical cord as a jump rope and pull-up bar, says he's already physical training in the womb lol. And to top it at our ultrasound he was totally flexing his "biceps", DH said "told you" so cute

Something my bf would say lol

karaelaine1991 · March 2015

Had to bring this back today because of something my husband said on the way to church... we were meeting with the car seat tech at the fire department after mass so the car seat was in the back of our car and obviously pretty fresh in our minds. We were talking about how real having it back there made everything feel and DH asked me, "So, when we take her home from the hospital, are you going to put her in the car seat or hold her?" I couldn't help but laugh and explained that for me to hold her in the car on the way home would not only be highly illegal, but super unsafe. DH was very offended that I expected him to know this already and laughed at him... sorry, but it seems like common sense to me!

lovethatcolosun · March 2015

sambojo1105 said:
When one of my co-workers had her baby last year I showed my husband a picture of the baby and he looked at me and asked "can babies open their eyes when their born?" He was dead serious. I died laughing and responded "they're not puppies!" His response... "well how should I know! The last baby that I knew when it was born was myself!" I can't wait to see what all he says after our baby girl arrives!

When my son was being born and his head came out the nurse asked if he wanted to see. He looked just as DS turned his head and opened his eyes. That image is forever etched in my husbands memory. He said he will NOT be looking this time!

jessiehale17 · March 2015

My husband so lovingly pointed out. "Look you have a new line" talking about a new stretch mark.. Thanks hun. BTW I'm having twins. I'm gonna get lots of new lines I'm sure. 8-}

mvargas12 · March 2015

We were telling my husband's coworker how I told him the gender of the baby since he originally didn't want to know. I explained that I had a box and inside put a bunch of balloons and when he opened the box, the pink balloons floated up. His coworker says, "pink balloons? So you're having a -" and my husband cuts him off super quickly and so casually says "a gay boy!"

Thank God I still have control of my bladder because I lost it! I think I was crying from laughing so hard.

(Fyi: he was being funny, not offensive. We don't discriminate)

He also tells me not to drive too fast when I drive us home from the hospital cause he's gonna be in the back with baby. As if! :P

BabsTheBunny · April 2015

RaiEliJusHell1369 said:
Mine said "next thing you know he'll be popping out of your chest... like in Alien."

Guess I'm harboring an alien now guys )

I love this, especially since until I found out the gender of LO I referred to him as my little chest-burster

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