4 days pp and can't stop worrying/feeling anxious

jazz2122 · February 2015

So I had my son on February 4th at around 2:29 am. He was a VBAC, and the doctor who delivered did an episiotomy because he said if he hadn't, I would have torn. It seemed like he stitched forever, but it may have only been a few minutes.

While in the hospital, the nurses constantly checked and said I wasn't swollen or anything like that. They gave me some sort of pain relieving spray to bring home, as well as witch hazel pads. I've been using them, as well as taking warm showers(can't do baths because my tub is messed up and my landlord hasn't fixed it yet).

Anyway, it's been 4 days since I've had my stitches and I feel like I'm just making things worse instead of healing. When I sit, it feels like things are stretching and pinching down there. It's so sore and tender, and I can't seem to get comfortable, no matter what I do. I can't stop thinking I've pulled the stitches and will get infected.

I also, according to the nurses, had some blood loss, and my hemoglobin levels had dropped to around 6(they're supposed to be 11-12 or so). I'm on iron pills, and a high in protein/iron diet to try and bring my levels up so I don't need a transfusion. I've only just started it yesterday, but I feel like it's not going to help and I'm going to have to be hospitalized again.

Thirdly, baby was tested for jaundice and was only in the intermediate range, so they told me it was nothing to worry about and would most likely go away on its own. To me, when I breastfeed him or just look at him, his eyes seem yellow to me, but only just slightly. That worries me, even though I don't think it should.

Fourth, I had him circumcised in the hospital(personal choice that SO and I agreed upon after he was born) and was told Vaseline on the cut + in the diaper so it didn't stick would help. And if I was going to sponge bathe him, just drizzle warm water over the area and let air dry. I've been doing all of that, but now I can't tell if it's healing or more of an infection. SO said it's not leaking pus and it doesn't smell, so he's not worried about an infection. Baby goes to see the pediatrician on Tuesday, but I'm going to call tomorrow just to maybe try and ease my anxiety.

SO has told me everything is fine and to try and stop worrying so much. He really has been a rock these past few days, helping me in any way he can. But I can't seem to stop worrying over every little thing, and I even had a crying jag in the shower yesterday before getting myself under control.

I guess what the point of this post is, does anyone have any advice or similar stories? Should I really be worrying like a crazy person? I just don't know what else to do. It's been 8 /2 years since I've dealt with an infant(my older son will be 9 in June), and I feel like I'm a first time mom all over again. I just think I need some reassurance or something.

deanna1313 · February 2015

It's so normal to worry and have anxiety after all these hormonal changes after having a baby.

My son is 8 mths and had to go under the light for jaundice. It cleared up quickly. Babies eyes are foggy and strange looking for a while, if you ask me.
It always felt like a mess down there until things started to heal. I couldn't get up and down off my bed without feeling like it would rip. You'll heal up quickly.

We didn't know we had to put Vaseline in his penis. They never told us!!! It is red for a while. My sons reattached a little because of it and the dr just pulled it back and he didn't even cry.

As far as blood loss, I also lost too much blood and was anemic afterwards. It was so bad that I was passing out in the hospital and they struggled to revive me. It was so scary. The blood loss pretty much caused my PPD and post partum anxiety. My son is 8 mths now and I am completely different. Just found out I'm pregnant again and a little anxious, but hoping it is temporary.
Hang in there! The post partum period is a major transition both physically and mentally. If it doesn't pass or gets worse see you OB/GYN. You're not alone. Anxiety is a serious condition.

poohbear033 · February 2015

Everything you are feeling is normal. I did not have an episiotomy, but I had a foreceps delivery and had a third degree tear. Did they prescribe pain meds? I alternated between Motrin and something called Norco. The spray was amazing, keep using it. I had a lot of trouble sitting after giving birth. The nurses at the hospital gave me a blow up donut to sit on. It popped after a week or so, but I found that sitting on a boppy pillow was also helpful.

I had a lot of blood loss too, but was never told I was anemic. I was as white as a ghost for a long time. So I'm not much help there.

I have a girl, so I'm not much help with the circumcision. DD wasn't jaundice but my niece was and she had to be kept in the sunlight, like sit in front of the picture window in the family room.

I'm glad your husband is supportive. My DH helped me realize I had PPD and I was diagnosed at 8 days PP.

Chichigo · February 2015

Have things improved any over the last few days? If you're still worried about the stitches, try a sits bath. It's a little plastic tub that sits right on top of the toilet, and comes with a bag similar to an IV that drips warm water through a tube into the bowl. Similar benefits of a bath, although not as comfortable.

jazz2122 · February 2015

Things have finally improved. Stitches have been healing and it stopped hurting to sit/stand/etc after about 2 weeks. Baby is also doing well. No more jaundice. That went away a few days after I posted this because I kept him in as much natural light as I could. His circumcision healed up fine, as well. I've gotten over my anxiety, for the most part. Thankfully it didn't turn into extreme PPD or anything like that. I've definitely been doing a lot better now. And so has baby.

4 days pp and can't stop worrying/feeling anxious

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