What Tips Did You Wish Someone Had Given You?

SeekingSmall · January 2015

I'm 28w5d, coming around the bend to meet our girls. They were a complete surprise! I know no twin mamas IRL so I thought I'd ask here for any tips you'd give for after they arrive. Are there any items that were a godsend? And advice you wish you'd heard ahead of time?

We're military moving overseas when they're 6-8 weeks old (if I make it to at least 38 weeks), so I've got a lot on my plate and just trying to get my ducks in a row! Thank you so much!

cookiesmac · January 2015

I'm in the same boat (only 23 weeks) - I've found doing a search for key terms like stroller, breastfeeding, etc has provided valuable info. And I think there's a thread re: what do u really need two of...hopefully this helps you uncover the tips you are looking for.

Also I read the book I believe entitled "when you're having two" - I felt it really gave a lot of realistic info

jeephappygirl · February 2015

My twins are now 14 mo. The first 6 months is the hardest. Then in ways it gets easier but it's still crazy at different times.

Figuring out how to feed them both at the same time is a big time saver. I wanted to nurse but they weren't good at it. I ended up pumping until last week. Two boppies, or bouncers or rock n plays are really helpful.

Ask for & accept help when you can. I didn't until recently and wished I did sooner. No one is going to do it like you, but as long as the kids are safe, take as much help as you can. This board isn't very active anymore, you may want to find some multiple facebook groups.

Let house work and other things go. There are only so many hours in a day, just do what has to be done. Take lots of pictures & videos.

Don't be afraid to venture out alone. It's really not bad as long as they are fed & dry they will enjoy being moved around in a stroller. I was very anxious about this and now I feel like a pro.

SeekingSmall · February 2015

Thanks @jeephappygirl‌ ! Those sort of tips were just what I was looking for. I have a 3 year old too, so I'm sure life will be insane for a bit!

MrsP419 · February 2015

Congratulations!
My biggest godsend items were my Joovy Twin Roo (or a snap and go stroller), and my giant breastfeeding pillow (My Brestfriend Twin Pillow). I still cannot go anywhere without that stroller, and for months, I relied on that pillow for tandem feeding. I echo the PP who said try to figure out how to feed them (and do other things) at the same time, or at least one immediately after the other. Obviously we have off days, but for the most part, they eat, sleep, get diaper changes, and play at the same times. Accept every ounce of help you are offered, and ask for any help you can. I had people to drive me to appointments at the end, help watch my older kids, help do my laundry, bring me meals, and just keep me company. If you can afford to hire help in the evenings, do that, but if not, it is OK. My mom helped us a lot during the days, but she mostly was in charge of my older two kids while I took care of the twins. DH and I did nights ourselves from our second night home.

Really try to enjoy it. Having twins is such a cool and unique experience. It is crazy and overwhelming at times, but it does not always have to be all survival and chaos. I have really loved being a mom of twins!! Take lots of pictures, and give yourself a lot of grace in regard to your home and any other obligations.

s_cloeter · February 2015

Never warm your wet wipes (unless they are unreasonably cold' room temp is fine) , never warm a bottle (again room temp is fine), never make it absolutely quiet for a nap (or they will always need it that way). Worked for me and have to say made things easier, at least I think! To each their own, and what works for you is the best. It's fine to walk out of the room and "have a moment", make sure they are safe and can't hurt themselves, but walking out to catch your breath or get a break from fussing/crying is not a crime. Never ever feel bad for needing time for yourself.

zazu13 · February 2015

We didn't plan to formula feed so I did zero research on bottles or bottle prep. When nursing didn't work out we had to fly by the seat of our pants. Here are a few things I learned along the way that helped tremendously:

My babies wouldn't take a cold bottle and warming pre-mixed bottles was a pain (we tried for a while using a crock pot of warm water which worked OK.) We started sitting a Brita water filter pitcher on the counter so we always had room temp water to mix bottles with. They did fine with room temp bottles, just not cold. We also prefilled the bottles with water and left them on the counter so we weren't fumbling to measure water when we had screaming babies and were half asleep in the middle of the night when we needed them. I still do this at 11 months for their first bottle of the morning. I pre-fill with water the night before so when they wake me up before the sun, I don't even have to turn on a light to mix the bottle. I just scoop the powder in the dark. I also love the little Munchkin brand baskets for washing bottle parts in the dishwasher. I have two and I leave them on the top rack in the dishwasher. One is open all the way for rings, and the other is partly closed for the nipples. When one gets full, I reverse them and fill up the other with rings or nipples. It's a little thing but when you are washing 16+ bottle parts a day in the beginning it saves a little time. Also, some people will scare you about not refrigerating leftover formula, but we did all the time. That shiz is too expensive to throw out. If it was within an hour of mixing and the babies didn't drink it, in the fridge it went. I still do that now and use the leftover bottles later to mix their baby cereal. When they were around 5-6 months I started encouraging them to hold their own bottles. They could hold the small 2 oz bottles first, then the 4 oz. It was a life saver! Now at 11 months they can hold a full 8 oz Dr. Brown bottle no problem. I also propped bottles all the time (again some people think this makes you the devil, but it just meant I was able to go potty and blow dry my hair on occasion.) The RNP were awesome for this using a receiving blanket.

jeephappygirl · February 2015

You have gotten a lot of good advice here. Things I forgot about too. Like bottle propping. We did that but were right there. Usually changing a diaper or trying to eat myself. Nothing ever happened. Do what you are comfortable with.

Lots of people say get them on the same schedule. Thus is good but go with the flow. I still enjoy days where they nap separately because I get some one on one time.

I had a lot of mommy guilt about not spending bonding time with them like I did with my now 3.5 yr old. I always cuddled with her after feeding. Took long baths together. ..that can't be done with twins. Seemed like I was always rushing to fed one or get one to sleep just to repeat with the other. Once they slept I had to do housework or play with DD. Guess what? I have super cuddly 14 mo olds now. And we all bonded just fine.

KDR1979 · February 2015

I wish we had interviewed helpers/nannies/night nurses while we were pregnant. We had no idea how hard those first few months were going to be!! My husband went back to work (attorney-long hours) when the kids were 7 days old and I was by myself most of the time! My twins were 36 weekers, no NICU, good weights, but would NOT breastfeed! I had a infant scale in my house for a month and would weigh them before and after feedings. Each feeding= 4 bottles, 2 breastmilk, 2 formula and ended with me pumping. It was SO hard! I was adamant about them getting breastmilk, so I didn't give up. But, I know it was much harder for us b/c of that. They finally learned to latch when they were 10 & 14 weeks old! I was never able to give them 100% breast milk, so they always got formula too. So, for us, having LOTS of bottles was important. We went through 32 small bottles (8 feedings/day x 4 bottles) a day in the first 2-3 months! I also used the twin breastfeeding pillow.

I loved my graco snugride 35 infant car seats. They clicked right into the double snap and go stroller (cheap frame stroller). I kept the kids in that until they were 12-13 months old b/c it was SO easy to take them inside stores, run errands, etc. Once I switched them to convertible car seats, we started using the Baby Jogger City mini stroller and we still use it and LOVE it! I put them in Britax Boulevard car seats, but just bought Chicco Nextfit car seats b/c I am keeping them rear facing as long as I can. I wish I had known about extended rear facing when I bought the Britax car seats. My son is outgrowing it in height before weight for rear facing.

Rock n plays were lifesavers for us, but I know that they are not recommended for night sleeping now.

We had 1 really nice swing and 1 older, used swing. We used tall, high back bouncer seats to feed them bottles once they got to be 2-3 months old.

Start a bedtime routine early!!! We turned off the lights, turned on a sleep sheep, used the Velcro halo sleep swaddle blankets (until they started rolling over). Sleep has been a huge struggle for us, so start good sleep habits early!

Good luck!

KDR1979 · February 2015

Also, if you are getting a new vehicle...get the Honda Odyssey! My dad retired from Ford, so we always buy Ford (get a discount). They don't offer any minivans right now. We got the newer Explorer. It has 3 rows and we got captain seats in the middle. I love a lot of things about my Explorer. It has 4 WD and lots of safety features. BUT I wish I had known what it was like to have 2 kids rear facing in a SUV for 3+ years. My 3rd row is usually folded down to keep my double stroller in it.

Now, I know that a minivan would have been great from birth until age 6-8. Then the SUV with captain seats would have been better for kids in booster seats.

jeephappygirl · February 2015

One more thing.. I would recommend the smaller space saver portable highchairs instead of traditional ones. I had a regular plastic under neath cloth cover one so I just got a second one. They take up a lot of space. Not practical to take with you. And I ditched the cover months ago. It's really hard to take them to eat at other people's houses. I wish we had the smaller ones in plastic only. They would go with me everywhere. Instead I use what people have...older wooden ones that my kids slide around in too much. Or their carrier car seats while still in them. Or I hold one on my lap....

daisy19782011 · February 2015

Don't buy so much baby crap---you won't use most of it and you definitely don't need 2 of most things! We still never use the 2 large and lovely high chairs we registered for. What a waste. Also, get a light weight double stroller---My $600 City Select is beautiful and we have used it like 3 times...

MKateG · February 2015

My twins are 6 weeks old. Getting into a good routine has been key. I feed every two hours during the day and on demand at night. Im bf, pumping, and sometimes supplement with formula. (Don't beat yourself up if you don't exclusively BF, do what works for you) w have loved our womb sounds bear! It lulls them to sleep if they are fighting it and fussy. Swaddle me's work great. We haven't used them as much lately but they were the only way we got them down in the beginning. You don't need two of everything although we have two swings and it helps! Other than that we have a vibrating rocker seat and a pack n play. All of which we use daily. And fyi we go through about 100 diapers per week. So if someone asks what you need.... diapers! Congrats on your twins!

MKateG · February 2015

Oh and as someone else said prepreparing bottles is a life saver. We keep bottles with water in them by the formula. Mine will take room temp bottles. I also keep breast milk measured in bottles in the fridge so I just grab a bottle and warm it. :-)

cls78 · February 2015

My twin girls are two weeks and here is what we love and use so far....

2 Chicco key fit 30's with the twin joovy roo snap and go stroller frame.

2 Rock n Plays with auto rock and vibrate. We use these at night bedside as well.

Dr. Brown Bottles I didn't want to use these due to all the parts, but my girls were to fussy on the prefilled similiac bottles from the hospital. Dr. Brown bottles have helped a lot.

Dr. Browns Formula pitcher to batch make formula. You can store the formula in the pitcher in the fridge for 24 hours. We were gifted the Dr. Brown bottle warmer and have been usung that as well, but wouldn't have bought it ourselves.

Zip up newborn sleepers!!! Screw snaps get zip ups. Sleep gowns are nice too for easy changes. We have one size sleep sacs, but still to big on the girls right now.

Halo swaddle/sleep sac they used these in the hospital, but we had to give them back. After getting home we purchased a couple for the girls.

And of course the basics short sleeve onsies for under the sleepers, burp cloths and blankets!

I am wishing I had a changing table down stairs, but making do with the flimsy changing pad for down stairs.

GL!

WillyBean · February 2015

I wish someone had given us ideas about how to feed two at once when you're by yourself. I know a few families with twins and this topic just never came up but it would have been very useful to talk about! When my husband went back to work after the babies were born, I really struggled feeding them by both myself! Definitely took a crash course in "propping bottles" and holding bottles for so long my arms hurt! It wore me out! Build up your arm strength now so you can hold those bottles! Lol.

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