Bedtime woes, I need your help!

Cwhitaker27 · February 2015

I recently posted about this but it's getting crazy and I'm at a loss on how to handle the situation.

My previously great sleeper (3.5y/o) is going crazy at bedtime. Last night I did our usual routine, bath, brush teeth, read books say our good nights. About 5 minutes after leaving his room he calls me. I go back in his room he asks some silly question I answer, tuck him in give him kisses and tell him it's time for bed and he needs to go to sleep. Again he calls me literally 2 mins after I leave. I ignore it this time hoping he'll go back to sleep but he progresses to screaming my name and having an official meltdown kicking and screaming. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I put him in timeout for that charade and told him that wasn't ok.

Anyways, he has been consistently doing this at bedtime. sometimes saying he misses me or just that he wanted a kiss or asking me questions about the next day.

What would you do? Send him to time out? Ignore him knowing it will lead to a meltdown? Go into his room every 5 mins until he finally goes to sleep and stops calling... I have no idea.

Eta: he's been very clingy to me as of late, not wanting me to go to work and worrying I won't come back or pick him up from school.

CarrieB. · February 2015

Can you just lay next to him until he calms down and is closer to falling asleep? I usually do this with my 3 1/2 year old. Sometimes we do loving kindness meditations which is kind of like doing prayers which is very calming.

She's been having lots of bad dreams and waking in the middle of the night and coming in our bed, so we are having our own problems. Also both kids have been sick for the part two months, so I'm sure that messing up everyone's sleep.

mdiblasi10 · February 2015

I was going to say something similar, like offering to rub his back until he falls asleep. That works for us on difficult nap days. It also helps if I explain that it's time to sleep for everyone; Mommy, Daddy, friends, etc.. I list lots of examples, and sometimes explain that he gets to do something or see someone when he wakes up if he goes to sleep and only if he goes to sleep. We mostly have issues with nap time, not bed time, but I hope that helps!

Mrs.AmyDylan · February 2015

I'm not much help. J is two. I stay in her room until she is asleep. I pet her back/head while we are doing prayers. Then I move off the bed (she has a mattress on the floor) and I do my PT stretches and exercises in the dark. She often calls "mama", but I pat the side of her mattress with three taps, letting her know I'm there.

It works for us right now because us now because I would otherwise never do my PT routine. If we have another child, this may need to change.

kaf7 · February 2015

I don't think time out was a bad idea. I know of a ticket system where you involve the child in making 3 special tickets. Each night They then either use up a ticket each time they call you back in or they get out of bed. After that there are no more. If they don't use up tickets they don't have for a few nights in a row then they get a reward (like a trip to the park...something family based). You can then try to extend the goal number of nights without using up all of your tickets and go from there. Any extra times out of bed or demands for more attention to ignored/you silently return them to their room. It is like re-sleep training.

Cwhitaker27 · February 2015

@kaf7‌ that suggestion sounds amazing!!!! Thank you. I'm definitely going to try that.

mcgeeva · February 2015

Eh I'm terrible with this stuff but when it does happen I will go in a few times and then enough is enough. I will say it's bed time and he can play quietly and that's it until he falls asleep. But as far as meltdowns go if he is kicking and screaming before I get him to bed I would do timeout. If it's freak out once I leave I will give my son a few minutes then go check on him. For us it may be a meltdown but it never lasts but a few minutes. Hopefully this phase passes fast.

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