Thursday In Law Vents!

MissRissx3 · January 2015

Let's hear em' ladies!
Let loose!

MissRissx3 · January 2015

I don't have one for this week. I've been keeping to myself basically this whole week, for good reason. They're all sick so it's a good excuse for some time alone with DH.

louloutte87 · January 2015

I'm still p*ssed that my MIL has invited herself to stay for 2 weeks straight after due date. I will remain p*ssed until hubs tells her to bugger off (which he won't as he's too diplomatic).

blankenbakerh · January 2015

louloutte87 said:
I'm still p*ssed that my MIL has invited herself to stay for 2 weeks straight after due date. I will remain p*ssed until hubs tells her to bugger off (which he won't as he's too diplomatic).

I don't blame you! I wouldn't want anyone staying until I had time to adjust being at home! Maybe her could just suggest she wait until at least a week after the baby is born?

MissRissx3 · January 2015

louloutte87 said:
I'm still p*ssed that my MIL has invited herself to stay for 2 weeks straight after due date. I will remain p*ssed until hubs tells her to bugger off (which he won't as he's too diplomatic).

That shit wouldn't be flying with me. Hell no. They already throw themselves in whenever they feel like it anyways. I would definitely just tell her you'd like time alone for the first few weeks. Just you, baby and DH. She should understand and if not, she will have to get over it. Don't feel too bad, my MIL and SiL have keys to our house!

Shanfrey82 · January 2015

Yes!!! This is what I've learned today too!!! No stay over guest for at least a few weeks. Be strong mama!! Put your foot down and tell her to come later

AliceKC9876 · January 2015

louloutte87 said:

I'm still p*ssed that my MIL has invited herself to stay for 2 weeks straight after due date. I will remain p*ssed until hubs tells her to bugger off (which he won't as he's too diplomatic).

I would for sure put my foot down on this...tell your husband he needs to tell her no or you will!

louloutte87 · January 2015

She's booked the time off work and I was sooooo angry my hubs said she could come over. I'm biding my time til closer - chances are, baby will be overdue or she'll get bored of the idea. She's so controlling!!

Thanks for the support - glad you all don't think I'm being unreasonable

MissRissx3 · January 2015

louloutte87 said:
She's booked the time off work and I was sooooo angry my hubs said she could come over. I'm biding my time til closer - chances are, baby will be overdue or she'll get bored of the idea. She's so controlling!!

Thanks for the support - glad you all don't think I'm being unreasonable </p>

No, not unreasonable at all. It's completely ridiculous for her to automatically assume that it's gonna be okay with you. In my opinion that's disrespectful as hell. I wouldn't have it. Ugh that aggravates me! Maybe because I can relate a little.

FTArmyM · January 2015

louloutte87 said:
She's booked the time off work and I was sooooo angry my hubs said she could come over. I'm biding my time til closer - chances are, baby will be overdue or she'll get bored of the idea. She's so controlling!!

Thanks for the support - glad you all don't think I'm being unreasonable </p>

Hell no....she has SCHEDULED time off from work...not taken it....just like she scheduled it...she can reschedule it. The longer you wait the worse it's going to be...just put your foot down....she will get over it....they always do....sure she will throw a fit at first...maybe even try to guilt you. Just brush that bs off. You will need time to adjust.

mrs2mommy92 · January 2015

My MIL said to me the other night that if I go back to work after this baby and "resort" to formula or pumping, that I will be "robbing" my child of the necessary bonding experience that occurs when breast feeding. To follow that one up, she said that she will tell everyone she knows who will be coming to my shower, not to purchase my pump or any bottle/accessories off of my registry.

News flash: this isn't 1950 anymore!! Two incomes are needed by most families these days. I only will be working three nights a week, after 10 weeks of maternity leave!

I told her that I will have a lot more time with this baby than most other working women. And I feel extremely lucky for that. She doesn't get it. It infuriates me when she starts talking like that.

FTArmyM · January 2015

mrs2mommy92 said:
My MIL said to me the other night that if I go back to work after this baby and "resort" to formula or pumping, that I will be "robbing" my child of the necessary bonding experience that occurs when breast feeding. To follow that one up, she said that she will tell everyone she knows who will be coming to my shower, not to purchase my pump or any bottle/accessories off of my registry.

News flash: this isn't 1950 anymore!! Two incomes are needed by most families these days. I only will be working three nights a week, after 10 weeks of maternity leave!

I told her that I will have a lot more time with this baby than most other working women. And I feel extremely lucky for that. She doesn't get it. It infuriates me when she starts talking like that.

Wow....first off all....I applaud you ladies for being so nice about your crazy MIL....I have no problem telling mine where to go and how the hell to get there. Secondly...what or who in the hell gives her the right. My response to her bs about your baby shower is....well if you tell people not to buy things off my list then you are simultaneously univiting yourself from my baby shower and my child's life. She had the choices to raise her children the way she wanted....so what gives her the right to rob you of those same opportunities? I must come off as a crazy bitch to my MIL because she wouldn't dare come at me the way I've seen women post on here and WTE.

rosannewild · January 2015

I'm having a diplomacy issue with this. My mom is coming the last month of my pregnancy because I'm high risk and DH will be on a work trip to Europe. His mom is coming a week before the due date because it "won't seem fair" to her that my mom is here for baby arrival. MIL is a very squeaky wheel and gets a lot more time than any other relative. She will be staying for a few months as she lives in Italy.
I'm feeling a bit resentful because her plans have nixed some of our plans (visit to my family once baby can travel). I will very much appreciate the help after baby arrives, but she comes with a lot of emotional baggage that I didn't put there. I am trying to be a good self advocate, but it feels futile today. Maybe I should go eat!

MissRissx3 · January 2015

FTArmyM said:

mrs2mommy92 said:
My MIL said to me the other night that if I go back to work after this baby and "resort" to formula or pumping, that I will be "robbing" my child of the necessary bonding experience that occurs when breast feeding. To follow that one up, she said that she will tell everyone she knows who will be coming to my shower, not to purchase my pump or any bottle/accessories off of my registry.

News flash: this isn't 1950 anymore!! Two incomes are needed by most families these days. I only will be working three nights a week, after 10 weeks of maternity leave!

I told her that I will have a lot more time with this baby than most other working women. And I feel extremely lucky for that. She doesn't get it. It infuriates me when she starts talking like that.
Wow....first off all....I applaud you ladies for being so nice about your crazy MIL....I have no problem telling mine where to go and how the hell to get there. Secondly...what or who in the hell gives her the right. My response to her bs about your baby shower is....well if you tell people not to buy things off my list then you are simultaneously univiting yourself from my baby shower and my child's life. She had the choices to raise her children the way she wanted....so what gives her the right to rob you of those same opportunities? I must come off as a crazy bitch to my MIL because she wouldn't dare come at me the way I've seen women post on here and WTE.

Exactly like she has said "i've done my time raising my kids so i'm over it. Then be fucking over it and stop trying to one up me!

FTArmyM · January 2015

rosannewild said:
I'm having a diplomacy issue with this. My mom is coming the last month of my pregnancy because I'm high risk and DH will be on a work trip to Europe. His mom is coming a week before the due date because it "won't seem fair" to her that my mom is here for baby arrival. MIL is a very squeaky wheel and gets a lot more time than any other relative. She will be staying for a few months as she lives in Italy.
I'm feeling a bit resentful because her plans have nixed some of our plans (visit to my family once baby can travel). I will very much appreciate the help after baby arrives, but she comes with a lot of emotional baggage that I didn't put there. I am trying to be a good self advocate, but it feels futile today. Maybe I should go eat!

When she comes with the emotional baggage BS...put her in her place. And she is the squeaky wheel because she gets her way from being like that. It works for her and she will continue to do it as long as it continues to work. Bottomline to all of you ladies....people only do to you what you allow them to do....stop allowing yourselves to be run over.....

rosannewild · January 2015

I'm a great self advocate. She doesn't speak English, so there is a significant language barrier here. No one will run me over... Ever

mrs2mommy92 · January 2015

FTArmyM said:

mrs2mommy92 said:
My MIL said to me the other night that if I go back to work after this baby and "resort" to formula or pumping, that I will be "robbing" my child of the necessary bonding experience that occurs when breast feeding. To follow that one up, she said that she will tell everyone she knows who will be coming to my shower, not to purchase my pump or any bottle/accessories off of my registry.

News flash: this isn't 1950 anymore!! Two incomes are needed by most families these days. I only will be working three nights a week, after 10 weeks of maternity leave!

I told her that I will have a lot more time with this baby than most other working women. And I feel extremely lucky for that. She doesn't get it. It infuriates me when she starts talking like that.
Wow....first off all....I applaud you ladies for being so nice about your crazy MIL....I have no problem telling mine where to go and how the hell to get there. Secondly...what or who in the hell gives her the right. My response to her bs about your baby shower is....well if you tell people not to buy things off my list then you are simultaneously univiting yourself from my baby shower and my child's life. She had the choices to raise her children the way she wanted....so what gives her the right to rob you of those same opportunities? I must come off as a crazy bitch to my MIL because she wouldn't dare come at me the way I've seen women post on here and WTE.

I try to be "nice" while I'm in her house because of my husband. He feels as though I just need to relax and let it in one ear blah blah blah. In his mind, I shouldn't let her get me worked up. He knows she's wrong, but he still makes me feel like the crazy one.

Once the baby comes, I will have no problem telling her off. When my husbands brother and his wife had their baby, my MIL showed up unannounced at their house constantly. She would purposely wake the baby, stay for 20 minutes, and then leave. I already told DH that if she pulls that shit, it's going to start WW3.

louloutte87 · January 2015

I haven't figured out how to quote on my phone but to the pp - she sounds like my MiL, perhaps we should start a club???

blankenbakerh · January 2015

Wow!! I feel awful for you ladies! I echo PPs do not let them be controlling! Put your foot down now or it will get worse! As far as men and their moms. It's like I told mine ...... You live and sleep with me so you best make sure I am happy!!! With that said I get along with my MIL and she would never show up announced or impose like that. Thank goodness! The worst I have to deal with is her and mom constantly saying things " like don't have anymore kids" ( which we won't but is still only our business) or ( Do not put this baby in your bed or in your room). I mostly just ignore their unsolicited advice or say "Five Kids! Five happy, healthy kids!". I can tell you now though that I would not put up with any of that BS. My mom knows it, my DH knows it and so does my MIL. Pretty much my entire family knows it! LoL. I am very nice and all but I have my boundaries and have made them pretty clear. Sometimes those boundaries are needed to keep everyone sane and getting along! Hope it gets better for you!

BrooksManor · January 2015

Least yours doesn't live next door. I'll appreciate help when it's needed but if she comes knocking on my door I'm pretending I don't hear it. I don't want a million people in my business and a thousand pieces of advice and how to the first weeks home. She baby sits a friends baby. Lord have mercy. I tried to set him in the floor to play and she about had a stroke. She'll be watching my son while I'm working so hopefully will survive.

MissRissx3 · January 2015

BrooksManor said:
Least yours doesn't live next door. I'll appreciate help when it's needed but if she comes knocking on my door I'm pretending I don't hear it. I don't want a million people in my business and a thousand pieces of advice and how to the first weeks home. She baby sits a friends baby. Lord have mercy. I tried to set him in the floor to play and she about had a stroke. She'll be watching my son while I'm working so hopefully will survive.

Mine does live next door. As well as his brother.. both on the same damn street

mrsmdjbetti · January 2015

I have talked to a few friends about this and read other places about suggesting that she stay at a nearby hotel. She can come and be helpful during the day, and at night you can have your family time with just the three of you. My mom and I are really really close and she even offered to do something like that which I NEVER thought she would say. The more
I think about it the better is sounds. What about having an understanding that she is there to help with the things you won't have time for while you bond with the baby like cleaning, wash, cooking, and errands? Good luck girl it will all work out.

kgabhart · January 2015

I don't see my in laws often despite living in the same city. But, my husband's sister has 7 kids and is extremely religious. We've butted heads a few times over religion and the fact that everyone must play by her rules, even when they are at our house. I can already see that as a ftm none of my decisions will ever be correct if they are not what she would have done. The comparisons are being made already too. I completed a baby registry yesterday and found myself asking myself on more than one occasion what the sister would think just because I don't want the judgemental comments.

My biggest issue right now is that the family is talking about a possible beach vacation in July. It's been made clear that it will be highly frowned upon for us to take the baby since she will only be 2 months old, and the sister never takes her kids on vacation before the age of 3. It's the beach, for crying out loud. DH doesn't even know if he wants to go and I've made it clear that if Lilly doesn't go, I don't go. Still frustrating.

rosannewild · January 2015

Wow! She sounds like a winner. Maybe consider a July vacation holiday for your family at a different beach. At least your little family will enjoy each other

If you do go, you and your husband can make it clear her opinions are unasked for and unwelcome. Holier than thou acts get no respect from me. I'm fine with religion, not bossy bullshit wrapped in someone's take on scripture.

kgabhart · January 2015

Yeah, that's the biggest thing is her holier than thou attitude. She can be very judgemental about everything to the point that we are no longer even able to be friends on social media networks. For example, when Magic Mike came out I posted that I was going out with the girls to see it. I got a pm about how wrong it is to watch "porn" (I didn't consider that movie to be pornographic since it really didn't show much of anything) along with the websters dictionary definition of what porn is.

mamadeuce · January 2015

Sorry late post but wanted to vent.

My MIL has consistently been a pain in my ass. This is the same woman that told me months ago she was going to have a baby shower (and I was not invited) so she can have everything she needs at her house for the baby. After her repeating herself on different occasions. I proceeded to tell her that she could have a baby shower if she wanted but it would be for the Phantom baby she was having because there was no way my child would need a whole set of stuff just for her house. After that she has been even crazier. Our most recent run in was when DH and I went to pick up our two girls from her house. She was braiding the oldest's hair. The first thing I do when I get there is jet to the bathroom. When I get out I didn't get a hello, how are you feeling, or how's the baby. She immediately starts harping on what I'm wearing. Which were maternity jeans, an undershirt, and a large knit sweater. She tells me my sweater is too tight like 5 times. So I tell her to put a couple hundred dollars on a gift card and I'll shop on her dime since my sweater is so offensive. She doesn't take the hint to drop it and keeps pushing it. Well eventually I politely not politely lol tell her that I am a grown woman and can wear what i please but if she was so bothered that I was sure she had some new sweaters in her closet that were definitely large enough to cover my pregnant belly to her liking now and for the growth of it in the upcoming months also. She stared at me like I had sprouted horns. Which I kind of did haha. She shut up though. DH didn't know what to do. Apparently he called her the next day and told her to back off or my mouth may get the best of her.

MissRissx3 · January 2015

mamadeuce said:
Sorry late post but wanted to vent.

My MIL has consistently been a pain in my ass. This is the same woman that told me months ago she was going to have a baby shower (and I was not invited) so she can have everything she needs at her house for the baby. After her repeating herself on different occasions. I proceeded to tell her that she could have a baby shower if she wanted but it would be for the Phantom baby she was having because there was no way my child would need a whole set of stuff just for her house. After that she has been even crazier. Our most recent run in was when DH and I went to pick up our two girls from her house. She was braiding the oldest's hair. The first thing I do when I get there is jet to the bathroom. When I get out I didn't get a hello, how are you feeling, or how's the baby. She immediately starts harping on what I'm wearing. Which were maternity jeans, an undershirt, and a large knit sweater. She tells me my sweater is too tight like 5 times. So I tell her to put a couple hundred dollars on a gift card and I'll shop on her dime since my sweater is so offensive. She doesn't take the hint to drop it and keeps pushing it. Well eventually I politely not politely lol tell her that I am a grown woman and can wear what i please but if she was so bothered that I was sure she had some new sweaters in her closet that were definitely large enough to cover my pregnant belly to her liking now and for the growth of it in the upcoming months also. She stared at me like I had sprouted horns. Which I kind of did haha. She shut up though. DH didn't know what to do. Apparently he called her the next day and told her to back off or my mouth may get the best of her.

Dude I love that come back! I applaud you! And excuse me, but your MIL sounds like a giant pain in the ass. There's no way I could fathom dealing with that bullshit

mamadeuce · January 2015

@MissRissx3‌ she is a pain in the ass. The stories I have....This woman is a huge shit talker and her whole family ignores it. I let her make it until she gets disrespectful or crosses a boundary. That's when I get mouthy;) My parents always raised me to be respectful but never a pushover.

blankenbakerh · January 2015

Wow your MIL sounds in insane!!!!

afidalgo12 · January 2015

WOAH - I can't believe some of this. My MIL is annoying sometimes but nothing like this! Luckily I saw some of the issues we might have with her a MILLION MILES AWAY and already told my husband the things that I was not going to tolerate - so he can deal with it....she also wanted to buy 2x the baby stuff for her house (a mile away from ours....bizarre)

She still tells me about how she had all her kids sans epidural, and how her kids were all over a certain weight and how I shouldn't let my Dr. do a c-section or induce ...and my reply to all of that is...we're going to do what we do, and frankly I have very little control about how or when this little girl will make her appearance. I just want to have a healthy baby, delivery, etc...and we're going to take it one day at a time.

I'm hoping she gets it...If not, whatever, she can think whatever she wants!

ewkeller · January 2015

Mrs2mommy92: So, is she planning on supplementing your husband's income? If not, she really can't justify claiming that you need to stay home. Also, if she's asking baby shower guests not to purchase something, you should tell her you expect her to pay for the supplies! (side note: Target has a service where they'll help you arrange for your insurance to pay for a breast pump...you should check it out!).

mrs2mommy92 · January 2015

ewkeller said:
Mrs2mommy92: So, is she planning on supplementing your husband's income? If not, she really can't justify claiming that you need to stay home. Also, if she's asking baby shower guests not to purchase something, you should tell her you expect her to pay for the supplies! (side note: Target has a service where they'll help you arrange for your insurance to pay for a breast pump...you should check it out!).

No she's absolutely not planning on helping us out financially. She thinks that DH should get another job and I should stay home. She didn't leave her kids for "not even 15 minutes" until they were over a year old. My FIL never saw the kids because all he did was work so she could stay home. I'd rather my husband be able to spend time with his son.

And yeah, I'm looking into getting the pump through different resources, but it's on the registry as a back up. So far, two different places told me that DH and I make too much money. Not giving up yet though!

dec2018mom · January 2015

Vent here! I've been wanting to participate in the In Law vents for SO very long, lol.

Mine is about MIL whom I've never had a good relationship with.

A little history:
*The first day she met me she told my husband to take me shopping at a plus size store to buy some clothes since I likely wasn't able to find any clothes anywhere average women can buy them. This was within the first 5 minutes of meeting me and she said this before she even said hello to me.
*She called my parents to snitch me out for every little thing that she didn't like about me...keep in mind I was 22 years old when I met her and wasn't living with my parents.
This woman hated me, DH has nothing to do with her and she blames me for it. In all reality he made that choice and I'm not going to try to change his mind.

Now...to my most recent vent about her (as if that wasn't enough, lol.)
She spoke to my brother in laws ex girlfriend and asked her for a ride to come up here when my baby is born. Nobody asked her to come, nobody even told her I was pregnant until the ex girlfriend of brother in law told her. Shes flat out not welcome and I had to tell the ex girlfriend that she better not bring her up here. If the MIL from Hell wants to find a way here, so be it, but I'll be sure to let the staff at the hospital know that she is not welcome in the room.

She makes all sorts of snide remarks about me, my weight, and how I'm just flat out not good enough for my husband. I don't need/want that stress after or during the birth of our child.

BrooksManor · January 2015

MissRissx3 said:

BrooksManor said:
Least yours doesn't live next door. I'll appreciate help when it's needed but if she comes knocking on my door I'm pretending I don't hear it. I don't want a million people in my business and a thousand pieces of advice and how to the first weeks home. She baby sits a friends baby. Lord have mercy. I tried to set him in the floor to play and she about had a stroke. She'll be watching my son while I'm working so hopefully will survive.
Mine does live next door. As well as his brother.. both on the same damn street

Ewwww ewwww but his brother also lives at home currently. So I understand.

BrooksManor · January 2015

My mother in law is also building like a nursery......her husband never had children so he's like oober excited...anyways...I was like okay, sure. You'll need something for the baby to be in and play while you have him. Well I conduced it down to a pack and play and a swing. Nope...crib the whole 9 yards. Her youngest son moved out and she's turning that room into the nursery. 1. She hasn't moved the stuff out yet cause she's hoping he'll move back home....I'm like your not doing all this last minute and getting help from me. My friend gave us there old crib, instead of us keeping it, I'm letting them use it, as like a repayment of some debt, but I feel kinda guilty about it, even more since my sister insisted on buying me the crib I wanted. But I'll sell it one day and give my friend the money for it. 2. She can't make up her mind what she wants to do with the room, bedding ect. 3. She's bought tons of clothes for her house, cause I don't like certain outfits.....side eye....I don't know right now it's like I'm building my nursery from scratch and she's like we'll what about my nursery? I'm like what about it lol get the basics and it will work out just fine. I feel like we're both having a baby. Sorry that was a novel.

khaleesi123 · January 2015

I have never had a problem with my mother Inlaw we have always been very close.. Except she now has done one thing that has irritated me.. Instead if DHs aunty holding a baby shower for me in April mother Inlaw has taken over... And it is 3 weeks from now.. :-| I am now off to do a registry and had to message people about it to let them know so that people don't already have plans.

Rosie3rd · January 2015

My MIL is on the other side of the country

Shanfrey82 · January 2015

@mrsphillips610‌ your MIL sounds awful!!!! SO awful! Yuck!!

dec2018mom · January 2015

Shanfrey82 said:
@mrsphillips610‌ your MIL sounds awful!!!! SO awful! Yuck!!

Yes, yes she does sound awful. Shes one of those weirdos that is terrified of getting old. Shes about 45 now and has a grandbaby that she actually calls her own child because she is just that scared of being thought of as old. Ick. She drives me up the wall. I hope she doesnt come to the birth...I wont hesitate to hurt her feelings.

Brannykaye · January 2015

A little late on the Vent... But I'd love to share.

My MIL is sooo overbearing. We moved across the country to be in the same state as my parents and she constantly guilts us about it. She is too darn attached to my husband. If I have an opinion about something, she will try and guilt him into choosing her opinion over mine and then she gets all crazy upset when he doesn't.
She texts us and calls us constantly.
If we ever talk about future plans, she will say how they won't work out and such unless it was back in Oregon.
She wants to fly out for the baby shower out here in March, then fly out the beginning of May, and then fly out here again when the baby comes at the end of May. But is bothered she can't stay with us, my husband won't allow it. We are only in an apartment right now and he says he couldn't handle her staying here with us. We aren't asking her to come out, we keep telling her to just wait until the baby comes because she already got to do a babyshower when we were home for Christmas.
She is constantly messaging and emailing me articles and videos about baby safety, pregnancy safety, and parenting videos.
She's thinks the worst of my family and keeps telling my husband to not let them influence our child too much.

Gosh I can go on and on and on.
She's so overwhelming and I am so glad we moved across the country, she was so much worse when we were living in the same town as her, but she still bugs me to no end.

End vent.
Thanks ladies.

MissRissx3 · January 2015

Brannykaye said:
A little late on the Vent... But I'd love to share.

My MIL is sooo overbearing. We moved across the country to be in the same state as my parents and she constantly guilts us about it. She is too darn attached to my husband. If I have an opinion about something, she will try and guilt him into choosing her opinion over mine and then she gets all crazy upset when he doesn't.
She texts us and calls us constantly.
If we ever talk about future plans, she will say how they won't work out and such unless it was back in Oregon.
She wants to fly out for the baby shower out here in March, then fly out the beginning of May, and then fly out here again when the baby comes at the end of May. But is bothered she can't stay with us, my husband won't allow it. We are only in an apartment right now and he says he couldn't handle her staying here with us. We aren't asking her to come out, we keep telling her to just wait until the baby comes because she already got to do a babyshower when we were home for Christmas.
She is constantly messaging and emailing me articles and videos about baby safety, pregnancy safety, and parenting videos.
She's thinks the worst of my family and keeps telling my husband to not let them influence our child too much.

Gosh I can go on and on and on.
She's so overwhelming and I am so glad we moved across the country, she was so much worse when we were living in the same town as her, but she still bugs me to no end.

End vent.
Thanks ladies.

Omg what is up with all of these crazy MIL's?!

sheesh girl I'm sorry you've gotta deal with it

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