I don't want her in there, is that selfish of me????

lcronk7014 · January 2015

No you are fine! It's a private moment and you can request who you want there or not. If they are too persistent have the nurse boot then out lol

Lulamae123 · January 2015

My MIL and my husband got into a huge fight over going in with me for my second. I never asked her but she felt it was her turn. I let her because you are allowed two and the only person I wanted in there was my sister. For my first I had my husband and my mother. My mother was useless didn't grab my leg ad my husband almost fainted. So now with my third my husband might come in but sister is! She is a nurse and when I'm having a baby you are in there to do your job. So my mother and MIL were fired!

bjwoods · January 2015

No

irelandsangel81 · January 2015

When I had my dd my mil insisted she should be in the room. She said she "had a right" since it was her grandchild. I wanted my mom in the room so I caved and said she could be too but had to stay by my head the whole time. That made her pissed because she wanted to watch. She even insisted she should be the first to hold baby. Dh and I decided we would kick everyone out when it was time to push but that we wouldn't tell anyone until that time. So we let my mom and MIL come in and out of my room while I was in labor. It turned out I needed a csection anyway so only DH was there.

Don't feel U have to let anyone be there for the birth. Would it be a good compromise to say she can come in and out of the room during labor but she can't be there for the birth?

kellmoria · January 2015

Nope, you're not doing anything wrong. People are there because you have said they can be there. Also, tell people you'll call them when you're ready for guests. Those first few hours are wonderful- and you can't get them back if interrupted by guest after guest.

manda82585 · January 2015

I feared having that convo with my mil with my first. Luckily, she never brought it up or pressed the issue even after my husband did. I don't think she would have been comfortable either, which was perfect. He wanted her there and I said no way. It is all about what you are going to be comfortable with. In my opinion, labor is a situation in which you are entitled to be selfish. It is about you and what scenario is going to be the best situation for you to get through labor. It is selfish of mil to try and put you in a situation she knows you dont feel comfortable with. If you are worrying about your mil staring at your hoo-ha while in labor, then you arent going to be fully focused on getting baby out. Everyone can see baby after he/she is born. Up until that point, I think it is all about you and building up the positive support team and comfort zone that you need in order to get baby there. My mom, sis, and hubby were there during the birth of my 1st and same will go this time around. Luckily, no worries about my mil this time around since someone will have to take my daughter while we are at the hospital.

bibiwoo · January 2015

One way to put it in perspective is to ask him : if the roles were reversed, would he like to be naked, spread eagle, with his junk hanging and you mother as a spectator????

zaakia7 · January 2015

My sister in law invited herself as well. My mother in law recently passed and everyone is super fragile. I did mention, casually, to my husband that I wanted it to just be the two of us for the first delivery (not even my mom)...he didn't say anything. So I gather im gonna have to be the one that breaks it to her that she's not invited which I don't have a problem with but of course I'll look like the bad guy.

I just think it's rude when anyone assumes they're automatically gonna be in the room if you two have never discussed it (keeping in mind I don't have a sister so maybe it goes without saying between siblings). You've got a lot of nerve to just say "oh I'll be in the room"...you don't invite yourself to watch me take a shower or take a dump so why would u just assume it's ok to invite yourself to see all my intimate parts in the name of "my nephew is coming" meet him after we've all had a nap....!!!

Disneygeek77 · January 2015

jamiejasonfiske said:

Those are my fears as well, but he says if my mom is there his mom should be there, so I can't even have my mom who has always been my comfort and my strength.

No, that's not how it works. This isn't about being fair and this isn't a show. This is a medical procedure and if your mother can give you comfort, encouragement and peace in a way that he can't during one of the most painful experiences of your life, than you should be allowed to have that and it isn't fair to deny you that. Keep telling him it isn't about giving your mom a privilege that his can't, it is about you having as much as support as possible and no his mom's presence would only make you uncomfortable and nervous and might even stall labor.

whynot23 · January 2015

Thats bullshit. He's not pushing her out. Whoever you need or want to get through it you should have.

biaromoy · January 2015

Hell no, she pushed out her baby long ago. Her time has passed.

It'll be me, my fiancé, the midwife and hopefully my stepmother. My actual mother will want to be there but she has not seen me in 7 months and blows me off all the time. Plus she has not even met my fiancé even thought we have been together for 2 years because we have an age gap of 10 years, it hurts but it's mine and my fiancé's choice.

nbf7 · January 2015

I hate when people put me in an awkward position I mean who would want a whole line of spectators just standing there

I know my MIL would drive me nuts in there and later on she'd be telling the story to strangers.I just want my husband and my mom to be there no one else

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I don't want her in there, is that selfish of me????

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