Almost every post I read has turned into a negative thread

shalana11 · January 2015

I get that people are annoyed when posters don't "search" prior to posting. But really, isn't the whole point of this community to be supportive of eachother going through this amazing but sometimes scary experience? Why not just skip posts that you're not interested in? Instead of berating eachother for double posting? I'm a FTM and was excited when I found this community/board/app for support with all the unknown. Now I just feel like it's become so negative and unsupportive that it's pointless.

kimmarie1105 · January 2015

What's the name of this song again?

mrsmoxie · January 2015

I completely agree. I've been apart of the bump for almost 2 years. I was more active on my last birth month board, but haven't been on this one since I have a crazy toddler, so I mostly lurk.

Crazy things happened, amazing ladies got banned for little to no reason, and I completely understand why everyone was pissed off. I was too. I thought about leaving, but I can't find another website or app that I like because I don't want puppies and rainbows. But what's been going on? Calling women names and belittling them just because they were once lurkers but decided not to be anymore? And I'm still rather appalled by the behavior on that roll call thread the other day. Am I missing something? She just wanted to know who all was here and so she gets called a bitch? Let's act like adults, please.

avazirian · January 2015

I agree with you girls! I hardly come on here anymore because everything is negative. I'm a FTM too and I feel the same.

shalana11 · January 2015

If you don't care about other moms on here, then why respond?

Claire&Cub · January 2015

I'm a FTM too but understood the etiquette and dynamic of the board prior to posting or putting my two cents in. Picking a board or community to belong to is much like picking a neighborhood to live in, some neighborhoods you know you just wouldn't jive with the environment. I'd much rather see the boards clogged with the questioning of the bumps higher ups as to why certain threads and topics were deleted from cherished members as opposed to the following topics : guess what genitalia my child has, it's a boy/girl (when there's a specific place to put that) and topics in realm of asking internet strangers medical questions. Also @mrsmoxie there is a better place to go and it's been mentioned several times.

Whootie · January 2015

I'm usually a lurker as well and I am probably going to kick myself for finally involving myself in this mess, but even as a second time mom I've never been big on the whole boards or Internet bloggs. With that being said something like this was brand new to me and has solidified my opinion of how aspects of technology are destroying us. It has honestly just confirmed the whole reason I feel sorry for my children. I am sorry to see that they are going to grow up in a world so disillusioned by screens and connections with complete strangers willing to tear them down before even knowing who they are. My children may grow up and learn to judge and hate people for what they say or things they believe, or even something a simple as not being familiar with using a simple app. You are right there are other boards to post things and the flooding of repetitive posts are annoying but this is the community board and maybe some us are looking to connect to someone who is going through what we are at that moment. I guess I will go back to socializing with the important people around me and lurk around on the board quietly.

jilly159 · January 2015

I think it all depends on the dynamic of the birth month's active posters. When I was pregnant with my first, the board didn't mind separate "this is what I'm having and here's my a/s" posts, and flamed the living daylights out of people who thought about using non-organic baby products. I've never been very active, but the times I've posted I've never had an issue.. And have also gotten some very sweet and genuine responses back during an emotional time that I still greatly appreciate. Everybody will complain about everybody else no matter what. Everybody will tell everybody not to respond if they don't like want they see. Be it a mean comment or a lets all get along comment. Bottom line... We're all pregnant women. We'll never get along (joking but not joking on that last sentence).

HayesRN13 · January 2015

Just ignore them, there are still good mature people here

Anjelyk2 · January 2015

Agree @HayesRN13‌ - it is simply a matter of maturity. It is really unfortunate seeing grown women behave this way.

MCRM14 · January 2015

I tried to type almost the same thing last night but my phone was being dumb. I as well have just been lurking have posted a few times and have gotten some constructive criticism which I learned from. This site was created to support eachother can we who have decided to stay on go back to supporting one another!
And those of you who are rightfully pissed off, either move on to this new site or stop being so rude! There's no need for name calling th e people who are just now coming out...not everyone finds this site right away or some people just aren't ready to come out and speak.

But can I also please please ask that people start reading a few pages of the board before posting a new topic! Because seeing 5 out of 10 new topics of have you felt movement yet is getting old! And same with seeing baby names threads! There is already one that has been really popular that has about 13+pages to it read it!

bbnmama2012 · January 2015

I've been on this board since October when I got my positive result. But a lurker for the most part. My theory is that there are women here who have struggled with fertility. There are women who have lost their babies. So, no, people don't give a crap about whether or not someone looks "pregnant" or "just fat". Nobody cares that you might be disappointed with a boy instead of a girl! There are women who are just happy to FINALLY have a healthy baby and for moms to post shallow, superficial crap is something worthy of mocking. We all have more important things to worry about than your baby bump or nursery colors or whatever old wives tale you want people to prove right or wrong.

Schnurette · January 2015

Maybe my feelings on this are different than some but my issue with ignoring repeat or stupid useless AW posts is that they clog the board and end up washing out posts from people who actually need support and advice. People who are dealing with loss (potential or actual) people who have valid concerns about what they are experiencing during this pregnancy etc.

I get pretty upset when I miss an update from someone who is going through a truly difficult time because 10 snowflakes felt the need to AW their babies sex or their name options in separate threads on this board instead of posting in the a/s thread pinned at the top or travelling over to the names board.

hazeldublin · January 2015

@emilyzemily‌ I've noticed a few turn coats show their lick arsey selves!

MCRM14 · January 2015

tiffanyhowton said:
I've been on this board since October when I got my positive result. But a lurker for the most part. My theory is that there are women here who have struggled with fertility. There are women who have lost their babies. So, no, people don't give a crap about whether or not someone looks "pregnant" or "just fat". Nobody cares that you might be disappointed with a boy instead of a girl! There are women who are just happy to FINALLY have a healthy baby and for moms to post shallow, superficial crap is something worthy of mocking. We all have more important things to worry about than your baby bump or nursery colors or whatever old wives tale you want people to prove right or wrong.

I get that people have had losses and that's really tough to deal with. But that's no reason to be rude to those who are excited about being FTM. Yes there is a lot of fluff on there and honestly we all aren't lucky to be stick skinny and look like a bump at first some of us do start off looking fatter than like having a bump! Those posts are sometimes people looking for others that feel the same way! In the world we live in people are shallow and make fun of those that are fat. I am sorry for those who have lost their babies it's a very difficult thing to deal with and talk about. But like I said not everyone deals with it and theirs no reason to be rude to those that aren't dealing with it.

mathistm · January 2015

Lucky enough to be stick thin? Your weight has nothing to do with when you have a bump, when you feel movement etc. Also when the bump was what it was, we were much more supportive of our loss moms. I'm sorry, someone who has lost their child or is in jeopardy of losing their child trumps "omg am I fat or pregnant" any day. I'm sorry for what this board is going to turn into.

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

MCRM14 said:

I've been on this board since October when I got my positive result. But a lurker for the most part. My theory is that there are women here who have struggled with fertility. There are women who have lost their babies. So, no, people don't give a crap about whether or not someone looks "pregnant" or "just fat". Nobody cares that you might be disappointed with a boy instead of a girl! There are women who are just happy to FINALLY have a healthy baby and for moms to post shallow, superficial crap is something worthy of mocking. We all have more important things to worry about than your baby bump or nursery colors or whatever old wives tale you want people to prove right or wrong.
I get that people have had losses and that's really tough to deal with. But that's no reason to be rude to those who are excited about being FTM. Yes there is a lot of fluff on there and honestly we all aren't lucky to be stick skinny and look like a bump at first some of us do start off looking fatter than like having a bump! Those posts are sometimes people looking for others that feel the same way! In the world we live in people are shallow and make fun of those that are fat. I am sorry for those who have lost their babies it's a very difficult thing to deal with and talk about. But like I said not everyone deals with it and theirs no reason to be rude to those that aren't dealing with it.

Just by the tone of your post it's pretty clear that you DON'T get it.

MCRM14 · January 2015

Your right I won't get what it feels like right now to lose a baby hopefully. But this page is not about losses and we all can't focus on that. I am truly sorry for those that have lost their babies my best friend gave birth to lose her baby and have been there for her ever since I found out about it and support her when she is having a tough day. This site is for moms be it first second third or tenth time mom's to come and be able to ask if someone is going through something similar or to ask about certain products they have used to help with symptoms or a baby product being a stiller crib whatever. If you ladies want to turn this site into just about loss than maybe contact the bump about a page for women to be able to do that. It's not that I don't not want to read about it it's that I don't want to read someone getting belittled for asking a question about something they are going through. It may not be as tough as losing a child but not everyone has been there.

ksimo6 · January 2015

This horse is dead. Please stop kicking it.

KonaCoffeeBean · January 2015

I agree that this board should be for support. It's funny how when your post history, you've never once offered support to a loss mom or limbo mom. Hmm....

mrscampos4life · January 2015

shalana11 said:
I get that people are annoyed when posters don't "search" prior to posting. But really, isn't the whole point of this community to be supportive of eachother going through this amazing but sometimes scary experience? Why not just skip posts that you're not interested in? Instead of berating eachother for double posting? I'm a FTM and was excited when I found this community/board/app for support with all the unknown. Now I just feel like it's become so negative and unsupportive that it's pointless.

QFP

::yawn::

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

@MCRM14 your latest post is probably in the top 5 most insulting things I have ever read on here. And yes, I sincerely hope you never have to experience a loss.

Seriously, what happened to this place.

ksimo6 · January 2015

MCRM14 said:
Your right I won't get what it feels like right now to lose a baby hopefully. But this page is not about losses and we all can't focus on that. I am truly sorry for those that have lost their babies my best friend gave birth to lose her baby and have been there for her ever since I found out about it and support her when she is having a tough day. This site is for moms be it first second third or tenth time mom's to come and be able to ask if someone is going through something similar or to ask about certain products they have used to help with symptoms or a baby product being a stiller crib whatever. If you ladies want to turn this site into just about loss than maybe contact the bump about a page for women to be able to do that. It's not that I don't not want to read about it it's that I don't want to read someone getting belittled for asking a question about something they are going through. It may not be as tough as losing a child but not everyone has been there.

@MCRM14‌ your empathy is amazing. Remind me never to bother you with any feelings about my dead children. Wooooow.

shalana11 · January 2015

I think the point is that the bump is for all moms. And certainly those who have experienced loss need support through such a difficult time. I'm glad this group can provide that. It still doesn't mean other moms or their concerns or questions aren't important. If you don't agree with their post, don't comment. The reason I made this post is because when lurking, I usually look at threads with the most comments thinking they have must some important info - nope. Just moms acting immature and mocking eachother. So if you want to be able to support those who have experienced loss than do that, because it sure seems like most of the posts on here are just cutting one another down.

shalana11 · January 2015

With the time you spend replying negatively on a thread, you could have probably scrolled through a few pages to find that mom who needs support.

NirvanaGreen · January 2015

sidneyvicious said:

Your right I won't get what it feels like right now to lose a baby hopefully. But this page is not about losses and we all can't focus on that. I am truly sorry for those that have lost their babies my best friend gave birth to lose her baby and have been there for her ever since I found out about it and support her when she is having a tough day. This site is for moms be it first second third or tenth time mom's to come and be able to ask if someone is going through something similar or to ask about certain products they have used to help with symptoms or a baby product being a stiller crib whatever. If you ladies want to turn this site into just about loss than maybe contact the bump about a page for women to be able to do that. It's not that I don't not want to read about it it's that I don't want to read someone getting belittled for asking a question about something they are going through. It may not be as tough as losing a child but not everyone has been there.
Welcome to the New Bump, where loss moms are shamed into a dark corner where no one has to think about them, care about them, or show them any kind of love or support. Yes, this site will go on after all the meanies leave, but who would want to be a part of such a disgusting place?

That's not even close to what she was saying. Seriously. People have losses. They have threads, everyone supports them. GREAT. No one is saying not to do that.

But if someone wants to post a thread about something OTHER THAN a loss, it really doesn't need to be flooded with 40 responses saying "Someone had a loss today, your problem is nothing in comparison, you shouldn't be posting." Because this ISN'T the loss board. EVERY THREAD doesn't need to be about a loss to be considered "thread worthy." There are people in war-torn countries being raped and having their entire families blown up, should we only post about that and nothing else?

I have been participating on message boards (for different sports, not babies) for 15 years. On every other board I frequent, if someone posts a thread with a stupid question or whatever, we just don't respond to it, and it quickly gets buried. Problem solved. There is way less drama, and no crying over who posted what where. It is absolutely asinine to turn a thread into a .gif party or spend four pages flaming the OP while claiming that their one single post is somehow clogging the board while thinking your 75 posts responding to it and shooting the thread back to the top of the page aren't.

You are NOT REQUIRED to respond to every thread. If you don't like a thread, DON'T RESPOND. If no one responds, it will be sitting back on page 3 by the end of the day, and you never have to see it again. That is how successful forums actually function. This forum was not functioning well before the TOU changes/bannings (obviously it isn't functioning well now either), because every other thread was a flame war. Flame wars that actually WERE causing serious posts about losses etc. to be pushed down. If you're afraid that someone will just post the question over and over again if they don't get a response, then report that post as spam and let the moderators take care of it. It doesn't have to be a problem.

I refuse to go back and forth with people over petty things on the internet, so this will be my only writing on the topic. Thank you.

shalana11 · January 2015

emilyzemily said:

shalana11 said:
I think the point is that the bump is for all moms. And certainly those who have experienced loss need support through such a difficult time. I'm glad this group can provide that. It still doesn't mean other moms or their concerns or questions aren't important. If you don't agree with their post, don't comment. The reason I made this post is because when lurking, I usually look at threads with the most comments thinking they have must some important info - nope. Just moms acting immature and mocking eachother. So if you want to be able to support those who have experienced loss than do that, because it sure seems like most of the posts on here are just cutting one another down.
You think most of the mums here are immature yet you've made a thread just to start some drama.

Hi pot, meet kettle.

GET OVER IT. Oh and we will start threads to support our loss mums because they were a valued part of this community and people who I have spent the last 4 months or so getting to know. Pardon me if I don't take kindly to a stranger to this community barging in and having a shit fit over our behaviour over the last couple of weeks when TB screwed over many of our valued members. I for one will continue to make my opinions known until I get the ban hammer. Either deal with or get the fuck out of my way.

Nope didn't say most moms are immature. It's just unfortunate how the ones who are stand out. Start whatever threads you want. Clearly others will do the same with or without the negative comments.

mommacandi · January 2015

emilyzemily said:

I think the point is that the bump is for all moms. And certainly those who have experienced loss need support through such a difficult time. I'm glad this group can provide that. It still doesn't mean other moms or their concerns or questions aren't important. If you don't agree with their post, don't comment. The reason I made this post is because when lurking, I usually look at threads with the most comments thinking they have must some important info - nope. Just moms acting immature and mocking eachother. So if you want to be able to support those who have experienced loss than do that, because it sure seems like most of the posts on here are just cutting one another down.
You think most of the mums here are immature yet you've made a thread just to start some drama. Hi pot, meet kettle. GET OVER IT. Oh and we will start threads to support our loss mums because they were a valued part of this community and people who I have spent the last 4 months or so getting to know. Pardon me if I don't take kindly to a stranger to this community barging in and having a shit fit over our behaviour over the last couple of weeks when TB screwed over many of our valued members. I for one will continue to make my opinions known until I get the ban hammer. Either deal with or get the fuck out of my way.

YEP...This. This place has gone downhill fast. Where was everyone who is now coming out of the woodwork earlier on when so many of our mom's lost their babies or were in limbo? No where to be seen. Why now is everyone "brave" enough to speak up (read: start drama). This board will belong to the special slowflakes soon enough, and I'm sad for those of you who ever need support or want actual information.

staciecoffey · January 2015

NirvanaGreen said:

sidneyvicious said:

MCRM14 said:
Your right I won't get what it feels like right now to lose a baby hopefully. But this page is not about losses and we all can't focus on that. I am truly sorry for those that have lost their babies my best friend gave birth to lose her baby and have been there for her ever since I found out about it and support her when she is having a tough day. This site is for moms be it first second third or tenth time mom's to come and be able to ask if someone is going through something similar or to ask about certain products they have used to help with symptoms or a baby product being a stiller crib whatever. If you ladies want to turn this site into just about loss than maybe contact the bump about a page for women to be able to do that. It's not that I don't not want to read about it it's that I don't want to read someone getting belittled for asking a question about something they are going through. It may not be as tough as losing a child but not everyone has been there.
Welcome to the New Bump, where loss moms are shamed into a dark corner where no one has to think about them, care about them, or show them any kind of love or support. Yes, this site will go on after all the meanies leave, but who would want to be a part of such a disgusting place?

That's not even close to what she was saying. Seriously. People have losses. They have threads, everyone supports them. GREAT. No one is saying not to do that.

But if someone wants to post a thread about something OTHER THAN a loss, it really doesn't need to be flooded with 40 responses saying "Someone had a loss today, your problem is nothing in comparison, you shouldn't be posting." Because this ISN'T the loss board. EVERY THREAD doesn't need to be about a loss to be considered "thread worthy." There are people in war-torn countries being raped and having their entire families blown up, should we only post about that and nothing else?

I have been participating on message boards (for different sports, not babies) for 15 years. On every other board I frequent, if someone posts a thread with a stupid question or whatever, we just don't respond to it, and it quickly gets buried. Problem solved. There is way less drama, and no crying over who posted what where. It is absolutely asinine to turn a thread into a .gif party or spend four pages flaming the OP while claiming that their one single post is somehow clogging the board while thinking your 75 posts responding to it and shooting the thread back to the top of the page aren't.

You are NOT REQUIRED to respond to every thread. If you don't like a thread, DON'T RESPOND. If no one responds, it will be sitting back on page 3 by the end of the day, and you never have to see it again. That is how successful forums actually function. This forum was not functioning well before the TOU changes/bannings (obviously it isn't functioning well now either), because every other thread was a flame war. Flame wars that actually WERE causing serious posts about losses etc. to be pushed down. If you're afraid that someone will just post the question over and over again if they don't get a response, then report that post as spam and let the moderators take care of it. It doesn't have to be a problem.

I refuse to go back and forth with people over petty things on the internet, so this will be my only writing on the topic. Thank you.

Are you fucking kidding me? Not once has anyone said, we had a loss today all other threads aren't important. You're clearly an ignorant piece of shit to even think that, let alone say it. What has been said is that all of the damn "guess my gender", "it's a boy/girl", "need help with a name" posts belong in the stickied boards.

mccall35 · January 2015

@scoffey0615‌ let these old threads die. This and the other one you just commented on were almost off page one. Let them go. They're not worth the prime real estate on page one.

I understand by commenting I bumped this again, but you seem to be bumping a lot of junk. Try to stick to useful threads and hopefully we'll get the board back to normal.

staciecoffey · January 2015

I haven't commented on much of anything until today. And I won't let a thread die without setting it straight. If that's a problem, we'll just ignore my post.

mccall35 · January 2015

scoffey0615 said:
I haven't commented on much of anything until today. And I won't let a thread die without setting it straight. If that's a problem, we'll just ignore my post.

That's a selfish perspective to take. We're trying to clean up the board, not perpetuate drama. No one on here needs to be "set straight". The sooner the posts fade away, the sooner we can get back to being a productive community.

staciecoffey · January 2015

Well seeing how half the people posting think that the reason the meanies left was because of the TOUs, justifies setting a few things straight. Plus the comments about it not being a loss board needed to be addressed as well. This board will never go back to normal because the ladies that made it normal and kept things running smoothly are no longer here

taisree · January 2015

@scoffey0615‌ it's not worth it, trust me. The people you are trying to set straight don't really care, and the drive by's will only continue.

If this place is to return to some normalcy (and I'm not holding my breath) the majority of the annoying/redundant/your so mean threads need to be ignored & not continuously bumped.

staciecoffey · January 2015

You are so right, it's time to officially say fuck this shit, and be done with TB

megron · January 2015

I'm so glad we have the new site. Some of these girls are just too much!

Nruiz29 · January 2015

shalana11 said:
With the time you spend replying negatively on a thread, you could have probably scrolled through a few pages to find that mom who needs support.

You couldn't have said it any better! Exactly how I feel about this mess.

amooraxo · January 2015

emilyzemily said:

@amooraxo‌ when did you start being all speshul sneuxflake? I've noticed you love titting all the WK's making threads against the regs and have just this to say to you

I don't know ANYONE of you IRL.... so no, I'm not "Loyal" to anyone. Get out of here with this nonsense. I have been on this board since October... and honestly, I come here, have my opinions and usually don't ever post anything because it's not worth my time. Most of the crap on here is childish and annoying, but some of the ladies post really interesting and relevant things which I enjoy taking part in. But thanks for taking YOUR TIME to find special GIF's to post just for me. Lucky for me someone who has no idea who I am and will never meet me IRL cares so much! LMFAO.

EDIT: Now I'm LMFAO even more that I noticed I didn't even post in this thread and you actually took the time to stalk who's posts I was liking... seriously, wtf, I don't even remember you. Sorry, not sorry.

moret07 · January 2015

Someone call the wahmbulance!!!

briij · January 2015

shalana11 said:
I think the point is that the bump is for all moms. And certainly those who have experienced loss need support through such a difficult time. I'm glad this group can provide that. It still doesn't mean other moms or their concerns or questions aren't important. If you don't agree with their post, don't comment. The reason I made this post is because when lurking, I usually look at threads with the most comments thinking they have must some important info - nope. Just moms acting immature and mocking eachother. So if you want to be able to support those who have experienced loss than do that, because it sure seems like most of the posts on here are just cutting one another down.

I can't believe some of these women are about to be moms. How can these children even think about raising children!

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

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