I added the bump app back in October when I discovered it amongst some other pregnancy apps. Didn't really look through much, mostly looked at the articles and good reads, never looked into the community or forum until this week. "Shoot me" I'm a newbie. I read some of the guidelines yesterday, and that's when I realized how many "mistakes" I made. I didn't lurk around first, I went and posted a concern I had asking if my symptoms resembled fake contractions. People jumped at my throat telling me what dumbass questions I had and how I need to research, woah. I specifically said I went into my midwife, as I'm aware that my midwife is the only one who can really help me, but she didn't have any answers for me and said she would get back to me. So I reached out and wanted to see if anyone had similar experiences, I wanted to basically hear if it's something as simple as dehydration, to ease my mind until I got a call back. If I got a call back and my midwife said it was something horrible, at least I had a decent nights sleep the night before because bad events are inevitable. I understand that everyone's situation is different, but sometimes people just want a comparison, sometimes people want as you all like to say, "rainbows blown up their ass."
I moved to the US about 16 years ago, we moved around A LOT throughout my childhood. We lived In about four different countries in Europe alone, escaping our war stricken homeland. Never in my life could I have possibly imagined how that would impact my life at a later time, how differently I would perceive things. Simply, I didn't imagine what an effect it would have on my still expanding character as a human being. You see, I'm a citizen now, and I feel grateful for this country, it's people, and the opportunities. We are lucky in this country, we have yet to experience a war on our homeland. Our generations have yet to experience terror, genocides, concentration camps. They didn't have to see what my home people saw; they didn't have to watch their husbands and sons shot in the head in front of them, the men didn't have to watch thei wives and daughters bent over rows of tables raped in front of their eyes and not be able to do anything about it, the mothers here did not have their crying infants ripped out of their hands because they couldn't soothe them so a soldier decided he would soothe the baby for them by throwing the baby Out of a balcony window, or throwing the baby against the military tank killing him/her instantly.
My mom to this day tells the story of when our car got stopped by a group of soldiers as we were attempting to fled the country, I was about three at the time and don't recall the event. My dad had a pistol in the glove box for protection and my uncle was driving. They pulled my dad and uncle out of the car at gunpoint, my brother, mom, and I left in the car. Two soldiers were designated to hold my dad and uncle at gunpoint to prevent them from moving as one soldier came in to search the car. As soon as he came in I started screaming, "mama help the man is gonna shoot me mama he has a gun..mama please" hysterically crying. My mom said her biggest worry was that we would get thrown off the nearby cliff for crying, but she couldn't soothe me. The soldier, according to the story, tried to bribe me with candy. I refused it but my brother accepted in fear remaining ever so calm. The soldier ran his fingers through my hair and said, "little girl, don't be scared. I have a little girl just like you at home, I would never harm you." He then turned around and told the other soldiers that he searched the car and all was clear. He had not, however. The other soldier turned to my dad and said, "be thankful for your wife and kids, if it wasn't for them you would be counting stars waiting for my bullet to pierce your skull."
Now, not even 20 years later, I'm here in this enormous country. I have healthcare and doctors. I'm surrounded by people similar to the soldier that let us go, compassionate, good-hearted people. I'm grateful. I will bring my first kid into a world of these people, but also into a world of evil and hatred.
You see, I've read posts. I've seen support, but the support was given to a clique member. It seems as if a lot of people on here have time to tally who has supported who, and how many have posted how much. If you're new, and didn't lurk first and formally introduced yourself you're on a hit list. The clique jumps to mock, degrade, harass, and disrespect you. It reminds me of middle school, not high school. In high school you either fit in or you don't, but you're left alone for the most part. In middle school, if you don't fit in, that's it here comes the harassment and name calling. Lol I shouldn't laugh, it's sad. But I'm laughing at the fact that the people doing this have already reproduced and have children, or are about to have a child. These women consider support when you support them mocking others and degrading someone's concerns. What's baffling to me is that humans aren't programmed this way. I could bet that many of us, it a stranger on the street needed help, we would chime in to help. We would have no record of if they're a good or bad person, or how many people they personally have supported in the community. We would help without expecting anything in return, so why expect it on here? I've responded on other forums, offering my support when I could. If I had a similar experience I shared it. If I thought a question was stupid, I giggled or shook my head and moved on. My god people, you don't like butterflies and rainbows? You're "realists" who tell it how it is?? You don't know how It is!
Some have husbands who've seen the horrific things that happen from hatred and power, and came back never the same again.
Some of you will experience hardship; financially, health wise, and many other ways. Trust me when I say, tomorrow god forbid your child had to face a hardship, you will pray for butterflies and rainbows to be blown up their ass and yours. You will pray for an ounce of hope to keep you going. Respect each other for Gods sake. Don't be children creating posts calling each other cunts, you're strangers! You aren't accomplishing anything, do you feel your egos rising with those "love it's" is that what your life has come to?
It's sad, I prefer kindness and compassion. Butterflies and rainbows. That's why this world exists, that's the world we should raise our kids in. Not this bullshit.
I respect this thread. And you just brought tears to my eyes. Welcome to TB! And I hope you stick around and enjoy it. If you ever feel attacked in any way within the terms of use, you can always report. I'm here if you need me! ❤
I can't believe the responses that I am seeing to this post. I have a hard time believing that anyone who has supplied a negative response to this post would do so in person. Just because you can hide behind a screen name doesn't mean you should be so dismissive or rude.
I'm probably going to be shit on for this, but Jesus you people are brutal.
And you are...???
Oh right... No one cares.
You weren't here, you don't know what truly went down, "you don't know our LYFE!!"
Bye, girl
Oh, I've been around and reading all of this nonsense. I don't write much, as I don't want to deal with the drama or "sarcasm" from the "cool girls" around here.
Shouldn't I be saying bye to you? Aren't you following your little friends to another board?
@wheninrome627 why would you stay around reading threads if it was all nonsense to you? Good luck with the new bump. Since all the "mean" girls left, all the advice on this site has been shit. But I'm sure you can fix it with your sunshine and rainbows.
@wheninrome627 why would you stay around reading threads if it was all nonsense to you? Good luck with the new bump. Since all the "mean" girls left, all the advice on this site has been shit. But I'm sure you can fix it with your sunshine and rainbows.
Just a note to say I appreciated your post and your assessment of the attitude here. I read the forum regularly (and have since September, though I have only been lurking until now) because I want to understand other people's experiences with pregnancy so far. I haven't had an issue I wanted advice on, or really many I could offer useful replies to, but I was still interested in being on the periphery of this community. I'll be curious to see how it changes now, for better or worse. Good luck with your pregnancy!
WTAF is going on here? who in the hell are these people??? the whole "lurking and now i post because the meanies are gone" bullshit?? grow a set or STFU. seriously, i can see them all going to run and lurk on our new home and then start crying all over again... try it and the door will hit you on the ass faster than you came in.
WTAF is going on here? who in the hell are these people??? the whole "lurking and now i post because the meanies are gone" bullshit?? grow a set or STFU. seriously, i can see them all going to run and lurk on our new home and then start crying all over again... try it and the door will hit you on the ass faster than you came in.
hugs to the bitter snatches
>:D<
You all do know if you don't like The Bump you can just delete the app . If it's too hard to understand Google can give you a step by step
@akeva123 clearly, since you seem to be the only one who knows that Google exists, you should create a tutorial for your new found friends! that would be so cute!
Love this post! Love watching what I've been waiting for. Way to go bump! OP your story touched me. I did take the time to read it. I hope you stick around! It's going to get a lot better here soon as soon as people really do what they say they are going to do! :-)
Love this post! Love watching what I've been waiting for. Way to go bump! OP your story touched me. I did take the time to read it. I hope you stick around! It's going to get a lot better here soon as soon as people really do what they say they are going to do! :-)
You have been waiting for a tragic story? I am confused....
Mother to Joelle (13), Jaxen (3) and Jayla (due 5/6)
As a Jew whose education, upbringing, and family history has been steeped in Holocaust stories and imagery, I find this post extremely offensive. You're not the only one whose family has been through horror at the hands of other countries, and to use that history to make a completely irrelevant point about an internet forum is disgusting.
I hope you don't plan to try and win every argument you ever have in your life by bringing up what your family went through. It's manipulative.
OP-I am sorry you have been through this. But this is extremely disturbing and has nothing to do with TB. If you do choose to stay on here I will be sure not read anymore of your stories as I am already emotional and do not even want to read posts like this. Babies being smashed or thrown off of balconies??? No thanks, I hope you and your family are okay now.
I'm not a fan of some of the bashing that happens on boards either but all the violence you mentioned was uncalled for. There's no comparison between what you mentioned and what goes on in these boards. It will probably be weeks before I get those visions out of my head. You could have made your point without being so graphic. Thanks for ruining my day.
Franco Paul born 6/4/15 at 39 weeks. Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks. Both born via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love them!!
OP you need to think about therapy. This post is completely inappropriate in this setting. The two things you are comparing are incomparable. I'm deeply disturbed that you think they are. As life long victim of child abuse, trauma, and many of the deep dark things in the world that have kept me in therapy for decades, I am deeply offended to see this being used as a tool to make a point. This is unconscionable.
I seriously can't believe that people are reading the OP and getting that she is comparing her life experiences with the forum. She told her life experiences to illustrate how grateful she is to be in America where stuff like that doesn't happen and how people generally help strangers here. She only did comparison when saying how in real life people help strangers without knowing how they contribute to the community so why do that here in a virtual forum. My God...are you people so twisted that you only see/read what you want in order to bend her words to your own meaning for the sake of controversy?
I seriously can't believe that people are reading the OP and getting that she is comparing her life experiences with the forum. She told her life experiences to illustrate how grateful she is to be in America where stuff like that doesn't happen and how people generally help strangers here. She only did comparison when saying how in real life people help strangers without knowing how they contribute to the community so why do that here in a virtual forum. My God...are you people so twisted that you only see/read what you want in order to bend her words to your own meaning for the sake of controversy?
No. I'm quite familiar with what OP did here, unfortunately. She brought up that experience in order to make a point with great emotional impact in order to stun and shame anyone into daring to disagree, because the only appropriate response to such a horrific story is, well, horror.
As to the bolded: One could make that point very clearly without the backstory, but you know what I'm going to refute it anyway just for kicks. First, just like real life communities, if someone really NEEDED help, this community was always supportive even if she was a complete stranger. Second, in any real life community, members who take and never contribute are always side-eyed. Third, members of any real-life community who actively badmouth other members are real-life shunned.
I seriously can't believe that people are reading the OP and getting that she is comparing her life experiences with the forum. She told her life experiences to illustrate how grateful she is to be in America where stuff like that doesn't happen and how people generally help strangers here. She only did comparison when saying how in real life people help strangers without knowing how they contribute to the community so why do that here in a virtual forum. My God...are you people so twisted that you only see/read what you want in order to bend her words to your own meaning for the sake of controversy?
No. I'm quite familiar with what OP did here, unfortunately. She brought up that experience in order to make a point with great emotional impact in order to stun and shame anyone into daring to disagree, because the only appropriate response to such a horrific story is, well, horror.
As to the bolded: One could make that point very clearly without the backstory, but you know what I'm going to refute it anyway just for kicks. First, just like real life communities, if someone really NEEDED help, this community was always supportive even if she was a complete stranger. Second, in any real life community, members who take and never contribute are always side-eyed. Third, members of any real-life community who actively badmouth other members are real-life shunned.
And yet you are still missing the point. If you saw a stranger on the street you wouldn't know if they contribute to the community, bad mouthed someone, etc. or not.
My story was never meant to offend anyone. My point is exactly as some members have stated, you don't do things for people so They can do them for u, u do them because its humane. And you don't bash people in real life, so don't bash people on internet sites. At least i hope You're Not immature in real life to the extent you display on the internet. My story's point is that even during a war, during the worst possible desperation and fear ppl still can act humane. It has nothing to do with comparing the way people are treating others on here with how people get treated during the war. That's incomparable. My story isn't for pity, as I don't know you and don't need your pity, nor will your pity change history the past is the past. My story is to describe events I've experienced and how they've built my character, and why even posts on a forum such as this one are disturbing to me, and I'm sure many others. Like ive said before, a lot of women on this forum spend more time degrading others with snarky remarks and insults than they do supporting them. I've seen other posts. Someone vents and other people jump at their throat, why do u need to respond at all? If you can't support them then ignore the post, it's simple. People will post repeats, they'll post stupid shit, but u make urself look worse by attacking them for it. You can't control what others say and do, but control yourselves. You're humans, self control is what separates you from animals.
And just because u don't say anything, doesn't mean ur innocent. Supporting someone's mockery and disgusting behavior is just as bad. This kind of behavior is what leads to terrible harassment in schools, and depression in children. You make them think it's not okay to not fit in, instead of doing the opposite. You're grown women, shame on you.
And before making ignorant remarks calling me manipulative, look up the definition. I can't manipulate you as I have absolutely no use from u. I don't know you and will never have any contact with u, nor am I attempting to seek any power through you. If you call using my story to make people realize that compassion exists even in worst case scenarios as me being manipulative, then take it for what it is. At least I'm trying to get people to respect each other instead of using it to justify supporting other peoples disgusting mockery and harassing behavior.
I apologize sincerely to anyone who's mind I may have disturbed with my post, and "ruined their day" but reading these posts and how people are acting to others ruins mine. It makes me cringe. There's people out there who suffer way worse than what I or most other people on here have been through as it's not the norm, but all I said is when the day comes to any of us and we go through horrible times we will all need hope, support, and kindness.
If my post offends you that deeply, then report it. The site can take it down. I love the articles and informative information and therefore will keep my account for that purpose. If I see a post that I can contribute positively too, I will. But I'm done creating discussions so people can flip them into something they're not, or even worse harassing others on my discussion.
Good day to all. I do truly wish each of you A healthy pregnancy and healthy babies!
My story was never meant to offend anyone. My point is exactly as some members have stated, you don't do things for people so They can do them for u, u do them because its humane. And you don't bash people in real life, so don't bash people on internet sites. At least i hope You're Not immature in real life to the extent you display on the internet. My story's point is that even during a war, during the worst possible desperation and fear ppl still can act humane. It has nothing to do with comparing the way people are treating others on here with how people get treated during the war. That's incomparable. My story isn't for pity, as I don't know you and don't need your pity, nor will your pity change history the past is the past. My story is to describe events I've experienced and how they've built my character, and why even posts on a forum such as this one are disturbing to me, and I'm sure many others. Like ive said before, a lot of women on this forum spend more time degrading others with snarky remarks and insults than they do supporting them. I've seen other posts. Someone vents and other people jump at their throat, why do u need to respond at all? If you can't support them then ignore the post, it's simple. People will post repeats, they'll post stupid shit, but u make urself look worse by attacking them for it. You can't control what others say and do, but control yourselves. You're humans, self control is what separates you from animals.
And just because u don't say anything, doesn't mean ur innocent. Supporting someone's mockery and disgusting behavior is just as bad. This kind of behavior is what leads to terrible harassment in schools, and depression in children. You make them think it's not okay to not fit in, instead of doing the opposite. You're grown women, shame on you.
And before making ignorant remarks calling me manipulative, look up the definition. I can't manipulate you as I have absolutely no use from u. I don't know you and will never have any contact with u, nor am I attempting to seek any power through you. If you call using my story to make people realize that compassion exists even in worst case scenarios as me being manipulative, then take it for what it is. At least I'm trying to get people to respect each other instead of using it to justify supporting other peoples disgusting mockery and harassing behavior.
I apologize sincerely to anyone who's mind I may have disturbed with my post, and "ruined their day" but reading these posts and how people are acting to others ruins mine. It makes me cringe. There's people out there who suffer way worse than what I or most other people on here have been through as it's not the norm, but all I said is when the day comes to any of us and we go through horrible times we will all need hope, support, and kindness.
If my post offends you that deeply, then report it. The site can take it down. I love the articles and informative information and therefore will keep my account for that purpose. If I see a post that I can contribute positively too, I will. But I'm done creating discussions so people can flip them into something they're not, or even worse harassing others on my discussion.
Good day to all. I do truly wish each of you A healthy pregnancy and healthy babies!
Im not sure how this post was misinterpreted and I agree with the op but hopefully it gets better here now and hope this isn't your last post. This website/app has been crazy. Pregnancy can be hard and no one should have to put up with so much negativity and hostility during such a sensitive time. Im still partially confused why everyone's so outraged they have to be nicer now.
Re: My introduction. And most likely last post.
Some of you will experience hardship; financially, health wise, and many other ways. Trust me when I say, tomorrow god forbid your child had to face a hardship, you will pray for butterflies and rainbows to be blown up their ass and yours. You will pray for an ounce of hope to keep you going. Respect each other for Gods sake. Don't be children creating posts calling each other cunts, you're strangers! You aren't accomplishing anything, do you feel your egos rising with those "love it's" is that what your life has come to?
It's sad, I prefer kindness and compassion. Butterflies and rainbows. That's why this world exists, that's the world we should raise our kids in. Not this bullshit.
I'm here if you need me! ❤
I think I just shit a rainbow, amazing!
Oh, I've been around and reading all of this nonsense. I don't write much, as I don't want to deal with the drama or "sarcasm" from the "cool girls" around here.
Shouldn't I be saying bye to you? Aren't you following your little friends to another board?
K, thanks!
Your point ??
You all do know if you don't like The Bump you can just delete the app . If it's too hard to understand Google can give you a step by step
Franco Paul born 6/4/15 at 39 weeks. Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks. Both born via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love them!!
And yet you are still missing the point. If you saw a stranger on the street you wouldn't know if they contribute to the community, bad mouthed someone, etc. or not.
And just because u don't say anything, doesn't mean ur innocent. Supporting someone's mockery and disgusting behavior is just as bad. This kind of behavior is what leads to terrible harassment in schools, and depression in children. You make them think it's not okay to not fit in, instead of doing the opposite. You're grown women, shame on you.
And before making ignorant remarks calling me manipulative, look up the definition. I can't manipulate you as I have absolutely no use from u. I don't know you and will never have any contact with u, nor am I attempting to seek any power through you. If you call using my story to make people realize that compassion exists even in worst case scenarios as me being manipulative, then take it for what it is. At least I'm trying to get people to respect each other instead of using it to justify supporting other peoples disgusting mockery and harassing behavior.
I apologize sincerely to anyone who's mind I may have disturbed with my post, and "ruined their day" but reading these posts and how people are acting to others ruins mine. It makes me cringe. There's people out there who suffer way worse than what I or most other people on here have been through as it's not the norm, but all I said is when the day comes to any of us and we go through horrible times we will all need hope, support, and kindness.
If my post offends you that deeply, then report it. The site can take it down. I love the articles and informative information and therefore will keep my account for that purpose. If I see a post that I can contribute positively too, I will. But I'm done creating discussions so people can flip them into something they're not, or even worse harassing others on my discussion.
Good day to all. I do truly wish each of you A healthy pregnancy and healthy babies!
Love this X's 100