So my little boy is about to turn 3. He has autism. He gets it from me, I have asperger's. He also has a speech delay, and we have been quite proactive in treatments and services. So i work too many hours, and my little boy has special needs, and our house is a constant mess, but I feel mostly ok. It is my first year teaching and I still put in too many hours but I am starting to feel ok about it despite being at a difficult school. I have told my husband we should embrace dog hair as a life style accessary, and again ok with this. Yeah, sometimes the house is a terrible mess, but we are working on it. And it isn't like we can't see the floor. Though I might get a dog treadmill since this winter seems to be cold so far and they need more exercise. DH and I have been discussing the next one. We would do ivf with pdg for gender selection. Right now we don't how our son will do in terms of functioning or academics or any of it. And that is ok. he is going to need supports and we are providing them. He gets weekly speech, and play group, and is about to start preschool which should be great for him. We also take him to additional activities like swim class and little gym and another play group. I do one, my husband does one, my mom does one. I work on embedding applied behavior analysis into our routines (this was what I did before this job, so I don't do formal programs and data for him as it would feel too weird to do that with my son, but definitely have my own little programs and goals). I mentioned this to someone the other day and they were wondering if we were on top of things enough. I said sure there is always a pile of clothes on the bedroom floor, my dresser and desk are pretty covered, and I'm always behind on something or other. But I know what is in the pile of clothes and and dig out the dresser and desk when it gets too bad. We cook balanced meals at least half the time (delivery, frozen, drive through or carry out the rest of the time), our dogs get regular baths and bushings and are well cared for, and we are doing pretty awesome at the parenting thing. And we might well hire someone to help clean with number 2. And if that child has special needs then we will support that child. How did you know when you were ready for a second one? Did you have things "under control" more first?