Team Green Stories/Reasoning

babybean9 · January 2015

My anatomy scan is on January 13th. When I originally found out I was pregnant, I didn't want to find out the sex of our baby, and my husband supported this.

Fast forward a bit and over the months people have been giving me reasons to find out. My stepson is hoping for a boy and wants to know, so I sort of caved and said okay we'll find out at the scan. My husband is completely supportive of whatever decision I make. Of course I'm interested to know, but I think it's more magical to have your moment at the delivery with your husband. I'll be halfway there by the time I can possibly find out anyway!

I'm a bit on the fence and am again leaning towards not knowing until delivery, and was hoping to hear some nice stories about people that went team green!

(Also wanted to add that I'm just excited to just see my babe at the AS and confirm everything is okay with him or her)

alcrimmins · January 2015

We are team green! I'm all for finding out, however there are few real surprises left in life and this is one of them! I am a FTM and want to find out, but want to wait even more.

laurendutch · January 2015

A good friend of ours wrote an essay on why it's best to wait until the birth (he was trying to convince my BIL and SIL)...he explained that's it's the best surprise in life. He wrote how Christmas morning was so exciting when you are little and how this is a hundred times better than that.

blu-eyedwife · January 2015

We went team green the first time around and we're doing it again this time. I'll C&P from an earlier thread on this topic:

Finding out at birth is really really dramatic and emotional. It is very exciting to find out at 18/20 weeks, but when you give birth, your body surges with adrenaline, oxytocin, and other hormones which makes hearing the news much more....climatic? Remember the day your husband proposed, and all the happy emotions you felt? Now imagine that right after, you get a phone call saying you've won the lottery. It's great to win the lottery whenever, but since you're already so happy, finding out just pushes that excitement over-the-top.

I'm a far from a romantic, except, for some reason when it comes to this topic. For me, it was also a really emotional thing to have DH "know" something first. I was the first to know we were pregnant. I was the first to feel a connection to the baby. I was the first to feel kicks. I was the one experiencing everything while he waited by the sidelines for 9 months. But finding out the sex at birth meant he got to experience something first. He got to tell me something really important about our child that I didn't know.

It wasn't hard at all for us to wait. It gave us more time to daydream about what it was and get excited about finding out. It was really hard for other people. We got nonstop flack from people who thought we were being selfish for not finding out. People who felt like they had a right to know. (Except once we got to the hospital and became the most popular people on the floor. The nurses all loved that we were on Team Green and wanted to be there for the birth to find out. Many of them came and checked in on us after we had the baby just to see whether we had a boy or girl.)

gilder40 · January 2015

blu-eyedwife said:

Finding out at birth is really really dramatic and emotional. It is
very exciting to find out at 18/20 weeks, but when you give birth, your
body surges with adrenaline, oxytocin, and other hormones which makes
hearing the news much more....climatic? Remember the day your husband
proposed, and all the happy emotions you felt? Now imagine that right
after, you get a phone call saying you've won the lottery. It's great
to win the lottery whenever, but since you're already so happy, finding
out just pushes that excitement over-the-top.

I'm a far from a
romantic, except, for some reason when it comes to this topic. For me,
it was also a really emotional thing to have DH "know" something first.
I was the first to know we were pregnant. I was the first to feel a
connection to the baby. I was the first to feel kicks. I was the one
experiencing everything while he waited by the sidelines for 9 months.
But finding out the sex at birth meant he got to experience something
first. He got to tell me something really important about our child
that I didn't know.

THIS!! I just read this to my husband, and he LOVED it! He told me he is going to start telling people this when they get on our case about not finding out. Which for us, it's not family...it's friends and acquaintances. Our families are all cool with it, so it's SO much easier for us to stick to our decision.

carolyngrace · January 2015

We just found out, and part of me wishes we waited. We were hoping for a girl, and it's a boy, so there's this weird disappointment to deal with. If we would have waited it just would have been exciting either way! My sister waited with both of hers (I was at the births) and it was such pure joy when they were born that there was no room for disappointment.

If you feel equally excited for boy or girl, I would find out

It's just something that's fun to know. But I've never liked surprises much, I like to anticipate and know as much as possible.

tiffbot1985 · January 2015

We have been team green for both pregnancies. There's not even a part of me that wants to know though either way, it's not in a not loving way, my curiousity just doesn't get me that much for whatever reason!
I guess I just love not knowing and thinking about having a boy or a girl the whole time. My H was an absolute mess of tears and crying when DS was born and I was in super adrenaline mode and didn't hear the nurses tell him, so when it hit me I didn't even know yet I asked H so excitedly and he could hardly even say boy through all his crying, and then the next thing I remember saying was 'Ian?' (The name we had picked out for a boy) and he just nodded yes. I just loved that feeling and naming him as soon as we saw him.

gilder40 · January 2015

@carolyngrace I was told something similar by a family friend. He said that if we were partial or wanting one sex over the other, then to wait. The magic of birth and the excitement of having your baby will outweigh and cast aside any possible disappointment you may feel.

finchfeeder80 · January 2015

We're Team Green and I feel like the PP's have said it so well. It just feels so right to me to wait. I'm curious, of course, but it's not eating me alive. I've gotten really excited for a future with either sex and think about different scenes and scenarios with either child and they both make me happy.

I don't know that there would be anything more magical and special than having that last great reveal at their birth. And what a bonding experience for you, your husband and your new child.

vic8504 · January 2015

I found out with DD because I wanted the cute girl/boy nursery and wanted to have everything prepped and no yellow and green clothes. Well with this one I have all of DD's things as well as my 2 nephews who were born in July. So I figured either way I have clothes for this LO and DD slept in our room for the first 6 months so I have time to do up the nursery.

DH wants to find out.....we will wait and see what happens on January 9th I guess!

willowprincess · January 2015

I cannot express how wonderful it is for dh to lean over in the delivery room and tell me whether it was a boy or girl. His face always lights up before he says it and it's such an emotional high. I'm seriously tearing up thinking about it.

I have also heard from family members how exciting it is when he comes into the waiting room and announces. I love that he gets to have that moment. I love that I get to tell him we are pregnant, but he gets to tell me the sex. We both get a wonderful announcement.

It is hard to wait sometimes, but honestly it gets so much easier after the a/s because at that point we can't know. And it is so fun to keep guessing and hearing everyone's theories up until d-day. This is our 4th time being team green and I love it!

babybean9 · January 2015

These answers made me emotional! Thank you everyone. Team green feels right for us!

vanproos · January 2015

I cried reading some of these! Thank you, hormones. We, too, are waiting for some of the above reasons.

FTM team green with twins. I am a total type A... If I can make it through this pregnancy not finding out the sexes of these two miracles (also worth mentioning that we have an ultrasound at every visit... Sooo many opportunities to know!!), then anyone else who is not-sure-they-can-wait can totally do it!!! Good luck! It'll be so worth the wait.

blu-eyedwife · January 2015

vanproos said:

I cried reading some of these! Thank you, hormones. We, too, are waiting for some of the above reasons. FTM team green with twins. I am a total type A... If I can make it through this pregnancy not finding out the sexes of these two miracles (also worth mentioning that we have an ultrasound at every visit... Sooo many opportunities to know!!), then anyone else who is not-sure-they-can-wait can totally do it!!! Good luck! It'll be so worth the wait.

Extra kudos to you with twins! I don't know why, but that seems so much harder to me than waiting to find the sex of a single child. One of the nurses when I have birth was just back from her maternity leave - team green with twins. I think a lot of the admiration is the fact that - twins. More complicated everything from the pregnancy to, well, after!

sammyca · January 2015

I will admit that I'm not team green with this baby or the first two. However, I wanted to add one more reason to be team green as ridiculous as that may sound from one who's not.
When I was pregnant with my first boy, I had a very clear picture of what I thought he would look like. Then he was born and he was nothing like the little boy I'd imagined for 4.5 months. I wasn't in the least disappointed as he was even more beautiful than I could have imagined. However, I was talking to my prenatal yoga teacher about this and she felt it was risky to form that specific picture of a child based on finding out its sex just in case the reality was disappointing. Newborns can be pretty squishy. I'm not sure what people think about that but might be food for thought.

cleopatraphotography · January 2015

Hi Everyone!! This is my first post!! Woot!! We are team green. Well.... I am! This is baby #3 for us and we already have one boy and one girl. I feel like this is , just like everyone else has said, the greatest surprise you can actually have in life.

My hubby on the other hand, has said he wants to find out and won't tell me.... I'm sure he won't be able to hold it in for 4.5 months and I don't want the surprise to slip! I dont mean outright tell me either !! I mean when I'm ooo-Ing and aww-Ing pink or blue - His eyes and goofy little smirk will tell me if I'm looking at the wrong color outfit!!! So it's my mission to convince him. HA! In the end he will probably go along with team green because that's what I truly want....

It makes me feel giddy! Like a little kid when I imagine a new baby girl OR a new baby boy.... We found out with the first two. Facing the fact that this one is probably our last:(
it's my last chance to experience the "it's a ....." Moment. Eeeeek!

I'm a super planner and organizer. Aka control freak. So it's hard for me as well because I'm curious and want to plan ahead and ahead and ahead!! .... But to use a fun analogy - it's like peaking at the presents before they are wrapped.... I want my most precious gift to be "unwrapped" On his or her birthday.

As far as our family and friends everyone thinks I'm crazy. They all want to know. Some have told me if my Hubby finds out , they will "get it out of him" lol
All the more reason for him to join the green team with me lol

I'm so excited either way!!!

staceyfern · January 2015

babybean9 said:
My anatomy scan is on January 13th. When I originally found out I was pregnant, I didn't want to find out the sex of our baby, and my husband supported this.

Fast forward a bit and over the months people have been giving me reasons to find out. My stepson is hoping for a boy and wants to know, so I sort of caved and said okay we'll find out at the scan. My husband is completely supportive of whatever decision I make. Of course I'm interested to know, but I think it's more magical to have your moment at the delivery with your husband. I'll be halfway there by the time I can possibly find out anyway!

I'm a bit on the fence and am again leaning towards not knowing until delivery, and was hoping to hear some nice stories about people that went team green!

(Also wanted to add that I'm just excited to just see my babe at the AS and confirm everything is okay with him or her)

staceyfern · January 2015

Wow. Similar situation but the opposite. I want to know but my husband does not. We are only going to have one and I think if we were going to have more than that I would be more willing to have the surprise. My stepson has two young sisters at his moms house and is dying for us to have a boy! He says if it is a girl he is going to foster it!!! I think it will be good for him to be prepared. Getting a sibling in the home he is so used to being the single child at ( he sometimes thinks of it as an escape from his crazy busy other house) is going to be a big change as it is so I like trying to prepare him the way we can.

mamahawk12 · January 2015

We're team green this time around, but found out with my previous two. I never had a single iota of a desire to be team green until this time around. I'm really, really looking forward to that moment in the delivery room where DH gets to finally announce the sex.

I know you didn't ask, but there are some perks to finding out as well. Besides the obvious (being able to buy gender specific items), knowing somehow made me feel a lot closer to the baby - sort of like I knew who they were more... if that makes any sense. This baby is just a little enigma.

vanproos · January 2015

blu-eyedwife said:

vanproos said:

I cried reading some of these! Thank you, hormones. We, too, are waiting for some of the above reasons.

FTM team green with twins. I am a total type A... If I can make it through this pregnancy not finding out the sexes of these two miracles (also worth mentioning that we have an ultrasound at every visit... Sooo many opportunities to know!!), then anyone else who is not-sure-they-can-wait can totally do it!!! Good luck! It'll be so worth the wait.

Extra kudos to you with twins! I don't know why, but that seems so much harder to me than waiting to find the sex of a single child. One of the nurses when I have birth was just back from her maternity leave - team green with twins. I think a lot of the admiration is the fact that - twins. More complicated everything from the pregnancy to, well, after!
</blockquoti.

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Throughout our years of marriage, we have battled back and forth on finding out before vs waiting. DH finally convinced me to wait when we knew we were pregnant, and then when we find out we were having twins, I instantly wanted to know the sexes... But I have had time to mentally prepare now and I think it makes it that much more exciting that we will not only get one surprise come June, but TWO!! Shopping for baby stuff I thought was going to be tough, but I actually prefer the gender neutral colors (browns, light green, light yellow, black, etc) to having everything pink or blue. And honestly, those first six months my kids will probably very rarely have nice outfits on unless some sort of special occasion. I'll just be happy if at night everyone is fed, diapered, burped, and sleeping!

Each couple is different, as is each pregnancy. There are pros and cons for finding out and for waiting. Figure out what works for you as a couple and go with it. I think finding out the sex (either earlier or later) and choosing the name are some of my favorites with having a baby/babies!

JTA2426 · January 2015

Still debating about team green here. we were planning to do it for my first pregnancy, but then it was twins and we both felt like we'd had enough surprises. I'm not sure if DH wants to know for this one or not, but I think I do. We have identical boys, so plenty of boy stuff and zero girl stuff. It doesn't bother me to wait to do the nursery, I guess my main issue is that I'm a planner. I'm not sure if this is my last baby. Sure, it sounds fun to be surprised, but I don't know if it will be fun for ME.

courtyowl427 · January 2015

All of what PP's have said just reinforce to me why we are Team Green. We waited 12 years (6 married) to start a family. We really, honestly, made a concious choice to become parents after many years of being child free by choice. I just want that moment in the delivery, when we become a family of 3 to be as awesome as possible.

My sister is due with her first in about 8 weeks. She found out the sex and told everyone the name. In my opinion, she let too much of the magic go to early. Obviously, the birth with still be excited and wonderful, but it's just not for me. And watching her get flack from people about the name has made me want to tell no one anything!

We've gotten mostly positive feedback about waiting. All except my mom and sister who just don't understand my excitement about keeping it a surprise!

JuneBug0611 · January 2015

Lurking from July but wanted to pitch in. We were team green with DD and are again with this one.

One of my favorite memories is DH saying to me, "It's a girl. It's a beautiful baby girl." We told DD the story of her birth and she loves that part too. She says about this one, "We'll have to see what papa says when this one pops out!" She is totally cool with waiting and doesn't even know it is an option to know ahead of time. I think she enjoys the anticipation too, and she flips back and forth about whether she wants it to be a brother or a sister. It's a lot of fun sharing the anticipation with her.

courtyowl427 · January 2015

Also wanted to add, whoever said doing a gender neutral nursery was boring didn't have pinterest!

girlyjo · January 2015

Wow guys, I was totally all for finding out next weekend at the a/s but you've all convinced me to wait. How magical to have that moment after delivery! And what you've all said about DH finally getting to know something first, that really hit me.

We're Team Green now!! Thanks for the insight!

angielayne926 · January 2015

We were Team Green with DS and will be again with this LO. It made my induction, pushing for three hours, and c-section totally worth it when the Dr said, "OK, Dad, tell Mom what you got." and he stood up and looked and said (because DS came out screaming) "It's a boy, and he's pissed!" LOL...it's a funny story that we talk about still today.

It is fun with family and friends because everyone is guessing up until the last minute what the baby will be.

lwyz · January 2015

We're half team green. And by that I mean, we're going to find out but not tell anyone. My whole reason for that is I want to start referring to baby by their name. I don't know. I feel like it'll be easier to bond during pregnancy with a name. But I DON'T want the excessive gender stereotyping and blah blah blah and don't see why anyone else needs to know. So it's just for us.

dancegurl1118 · January 2015

As a labor and delivery nurse, there is no moment more raw than when a surprise sex baby is born. All the hormones and adrenaline kick in and it really is just a beautiful moment (even for the nurse and doctor or midwife to be a part of as well). Seeing it first hand is what led me to be team green (DH doesn't have a choice).

I'm a planner, so it's very tough for me, but I can't wait for that moment when someone says what it is after 40 long weeks of waiting. No greater payoff!

Now we just have to stay strong next week at our scan...I'm probably not even going to open my eyes until the tech says all clear at the start just incase baby is positioned crotch up at the beginning.

This all being said, it is the norm to find out the sex in my experience and it in no way diminishes the birth experience. I personally am just continually moved by the births that are a surprise!

emwaiting · January 2015

I am team green all the way. This is #2 for us and with #1 my husband wanted to find out. We had to do IVF and it took a lot of the "fun" out of getting pregnant and finding out that we were pregnant. Our family and close friends knew we were going to find out about the IVF and so it wasn't as much fun giving them a big surprise that we were pregnant. So I wanted the surprise of finding out the sex at the time of the birth. When we got down to the final weeks I got anxious to find out and just have him here but was more excited for the surprise. We ended up needing a c-section and right before we went in for surgery I asked my husband one more time and we both said we thought it was going to be a girl. Welp we were wrong and it was so fun finding out. We didn't have our hearts set on a girl by any means. When my doctor told me it was a girl my response was SERIOUSLY??? I can't wait for that surprise again and like others have said as you get older there just aren't as many fun surprises any more so I highly recommend waiting. I get the planning ahead with decorating and clothes but in my opinion there are plenty of ways to decorate a gender neutral room cute or add to it afterwards based on the gender.

missjenniebean · January 2015

All these responses are beautiful.

I have no desire to find out until birth - either way the child will be loved.

tinybugsmom · January 2015

We are team green.

My SS wants a boy, and SD wants a girl. That is one of the reasons why we are choosing to wait. If we find out at the end of the month, there is going to be someone disappointed. Since DH and I will be happy with either, we really don't want the 5 months of hearing complaining about the baby not being what one of them hoped for. They both tried to convince us to find out. We know if we wait and they have the surprise the moment they come in the room, no one will be disappointed, because the awe of their new sibling will over power that.

We are also team green because DH found out with his two, and I want him to experience the moment of calling out what the baby is at birth.

I personally want the surprise and the rush I hear you get in that moment.

btm013 · January 2015

I always thought I needed to know so I could prepare - both mentally and physically. Plus, I'm not one for surprises!! It wasn't until my 12 week ultrasound when I thought to myself even if they could tell me today what I was having (which of course they couldn't) that I wasn't ready to know just yet. I kept rationalizing that come 20 weeks I would "be ready" but as I'm only one week away I realized that I'm not! My husband and I registered for some things and I noticed we were gravitating towards gender neutral colors anyway so that's not an issue. I am going to have the doctor put it in an envelope so I have the option if I change my mind. Regardless of how we find out, I want my husband to look me in the eye and tell me what we are having. Whether it be opening the envelope or when I finally deliver. I want that moment. Also, and I mean no disrespect to others out there, but I lose complete interest once someone tells me the sex AND the name!!

slr1229 · January 2015

There are so few surprises in life that are wonderful. You'll have a lifetime to buy them clothes and all sorts of things for them...worth the wait. Going to add more excitement on delivery day.

hjdaniels0415 · January 2015

I'm not one for surprises- in fact I hate them! Biggest surprise ever is we are TEAM GREEN all the way. I've surprised myself with this one! I thought for sure we would find out the second we could, we didn't!!!! It's going to be amazing when my husband tells me in the delivery room and everyone else. Pregnancy is so much about the woman and I am so excited to include him! It's going to be an amazing day when our baby comes. We have gotten a little bit of slack, but nothing too bad. I can't wait for our baby and the surprise is making it even sweeter. What a wonderful experience and it's making me feel even more grateful. Whether your team green or not, just go with your heart.

junch817 · January 2015

Just adding in my two cents. I was team green with my first, and this time we are finding out. Just want to experience it both ways. I had a csection and our rules were that DH couldn't even stand up during the surgery - probably to prevent him from seeing my insides and passing out. My OB announced the sex while I was behind the blue curtain, blind to everything. It wasn't quite that moment I had been imagining, but it was still wonderful and I'll never forget it. I don't regret not knowing. I guess I'm just sharing this so you tell your OB ahead of time that you want DH to tell you. It never occurred to me to do this. Perhaps they would've taken her closer to DH so he could get a peek and tell me, and maybe I could've caught a glimpse of her too.

I'm totally not intending to be a Debbie Downer, but I just want to suggest you inform your OB right before that big moment if that's how you are picturing it to be. Don't assume they will let DH be the one

Good luck mamas! Once the AS is over, the temptation goes way down!

eshap90 · January 2015

I want to bump this thread and ask a couple questions:

How are you all bonding with baby? What are you calling "it"?

I've noticed my boyfriend saying he about everything so I am too but I really have no inklings or idea what we're having.

I'm excited to be team green but I'm a first timer and almost feel like I'm missing an aspect of my time with my fetus haha this is making less and less sense as I ramble but please if you're still with me I would love some insight!

jcprn · January 2015

FTM here. We call him/her Baby P or just Baby. DH wants to know the sex but he's humoring me. I love the idea of him announcing the sex upon delivery. I take chalkboard pictures every week with the week number and a picture of the fruit/veggie for that week. Also I'm constantly touching my belly, mostly subconsciously but I think it helps connect me to Baby.

I think I'll feel even more of a connection once I feel moving/kicking (anterior placenta X( ). I've had a relatively easy pregnancy (don't hate me) so sometimes I feel like I'm not pregnant at all and I think the movement/kicking would really help.

blu-eyedwife · January 2015

eshap90 said:

I want to bump this thread and ask a couple questions: How are you all bonding with baby? What are you calling "it"? I've noticed my boyfriend saying he about everything so I am too but I really have no inklings or idea what we're having. I'm excited to be team green but I'm a first timer and almost feel like I'm missing an aspect of my time with my fetus haha this is making less and less sense as I ramble but please if you're still with me I would love some insight!

My first we called Muppet. This one is Gelfling. (I obviously have a thing for Jim Henson). I do a lot of talking to the baby. I know s/he can't hear me, but it gives me a sense of connection.

mishmardhiono · January 2015

blu-eyedwife said:
We went team green the first time around and we're doing it again this time. I'll C&P from an earlier thread on this topic:

Finding out at birth is really really dramatic and emotional. It is
very exciting to find out at 18/20 weeks, but when you give birth, your
body surges with adrenaline, oxytocin, and other hormones which makes
hearing the news much more....climatic? Remember the day your husband
proposed, and all the happy emotions you felt? Now imagine that right
after, you get a phone call saying you've won the lottery. It's great
to win the lottery whenever, but since you're already so happy, finding
out just pushes that excitement over-the-top.

I'm a far from a
romantic, except, for some reason when it comes to this topic. For me,
it was also a really emotional thing to have DH "know" something first.
I was the first to know we were pregnant. I was the first to feel a
connection to the baby. I was the first to feel kicks. I was the one
experiencing everything while he waited by the sidelines for 9 months.
But finding out the sex at birth meant he got to experience something
first. He got to tell me something really important about our child
that I didn't know.

It wasn't hard at all for us to wait. It
gave us more time to daydream about what it was and get excited about
finding out. It was really hard for other people. We got nonstop flack
from people who thought we were being selfish for not finding out.
People who felt like they had a right to know. (Except once we got to the hospital and became the most popular people on the floor. The nurses all loved that we were on Team Green and wanted to be there for the birth to find out. Many of them came and checked in on us after we had the baby just to see whether we had a boy or girl.)

My DH didn't want to know and I did so I said I'll just keep it a secret. And then I read this and am so glad I never found out.

Katerina&Baby · January 2015

@eshap90‌ We generally just refer to the baby as "Baby" (as in "Baby is really moving around in there" or "what do you think about this color for Baby's room?") though I'll sometimes drop male pronouns without thinking (I attribute this to linguistic sex bias, not a sign that baby is a boy). Other than that, I picture us hanging out in the rocking chair that I'm going to buy for the nursery and going on strolls with DH and the dogs - I don't think knowing your baby's sex allows you to bond more with your baby.

babybean9 · January 2015

eshap90 said:
I want to bump this thread and ask a couple questions:

How are you all bonding with baby? What are you calling "it"?

I've noticed my boyfriend saying he about everything so I am too but I really have no inklings or idea what we're having.

I'm excited to be team green but I'm a first timer and almost feel like I'm missing an aspect of my time with my fetus haha this is making less and less sense as I ramble but please if you're still with me I would love some insight!

I'm a FTM as well, I can't believe how excited and happy I am to be team green! Had my AS last Tuesday and found out yesterday that the baby didn't cooperate so absolutely nobody knows the sex.

I feel very connected/bonded with my babe. I refer to him/her as Bean (I honestly think the nickname will stick once they're born at this point). I alternate she/he in conversation to avoid saying "it", but say Bean 90% of the time.

I'm have a posterior placenta and have been feeling movement since 16w4d and outside movement since 17w6d, so my husband gets to connect too. I'm always day dreaming and holding/rubbing my belly. Feeling movement or not, I absolutely do not feel like team green moms are missing out on connection. Sounds corny but I find the not knowing and day dreaming makes it more magical. (That's not to imply anything bad about those that do find out, it's a preference thing as with everything else)

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