STM and Baby Showers (why I am happy)

lilitaliangirl · January 2015

First, I want to say there isn't much to this except my observation/opinion. I'm pregnant with my second DS, so I already did the shower stuff with my first. And, yes I am VERY grateful for the party and gifts, but so glad I don't have to deal with the drama of a shower like I did then. I've been reading threads on shower drama and really feel sorry for you ladies dealing with the BS. I've been there and at one point spent an evening crying asking my husband to tell them just cancel everything. (He really stepped up and told his mom, my mom, sister and BFF they were all ruining this event for me). But, once the showers happened, it was all done and good and the drama passed. So I guess I'm going to give a bit of advice (wasn't my intention when it started typing. Sorry). Just roll with whatever is planned, even if u think it's tacky or wouldn't throw the same type of shower. Don't worry about the guest list (unless someone you feel is important is left out). Just have fun. And if end up not getting one, throw a "Meet X" party after LO arrives

lfaithlove · January 2015

I agree with you in this 100%

bossybluejay · January 2015

This is why I'm doing a sip and see and not a shower...way less drama

robynjeannette · January 2015

What's a sip and see?

preggopooters · January 2015

robynjeannette said:
What's a sip and see?

Not done in my neck of the woods but what Ive gathered it can be either A) unwrapped gifts? Or

after baby is born everybody comes by and sees the baby with or without gifts. I might be way off base though because like I said we don't do them around here.

kristennflickk · January 2015

We don't really do sip and see's where I'm from either, but I'm liking the idea of it more and more. I think I'll do like a birthday barbeque maybe? No gifts is a requirement unless they get all weird about not being able to get a gift, then they can bring me diapers!

PongoLePond · January 2015

My first shower was a nightmare for a while during the planning stages. I ended up snapping on my SIL because she kept coming to me to vent about how my mom wasn't pitching in money wise (my mom had just been laid off from a job she worked 18 years and my dad was about to have hip revision surgery). I'm very glad I don't have to do that again. The shower was fun but the events leading up to it made me wanna hurl.

Schnurette · January 2015

Yes this! It is horrible and stressful (or at least mine - wedding and baby - were) but keep in mind that this is someone throwing a party on your behalf and to an extent you need to just suck it up.

I learned my lesson with the bridal shower, I tried to work with my mother a bit but she steamrolled anything I said and invited literally everyone she had ever met (not that I had met, most people had a tenuous connection to me) and didn't bother to actually confirm who anyone was so I couldn't even do thank you cards. I played nice during the shower but afterwards made my displeasure known when I was trying to get help from my mother to track all of these people down and she seriously didn't know who half of them were.

My baby shower was planned by DH's family and the only input I had was to say that if my mother wouldn't cooperate for a joint shower to just plan one for DH's family only and leave my family to their own devices.

MZavakos · January 2015

Theres just something about sitting in the center of the room, opening gifts from people with all the attention on me th at makes me feel uneasy. I appreciate the gesture and the gifts/thoughts but I hate pretending to like something I genuinely am thinking "What the hell am I gonna use this for??"

sammyca · January 2015

I am not a baby shower person however my close group of friends (5 of us) always take the mother-to-be out for a beautiful ladies' lunch usually around 7-8 months. We don't do gifts until after baby is born.
ETA: we do this whether 1st baby or 4th.

Sugarbean17 · January 2015

My MIL insisted I have a baby shower.... this is number 3 for me. She lives across the country from us but hubby's family is within 3hrs of us. She was really upset when I told her we wouldn't be having a baby shower this time around. My mom hosted my first one. The second time around we did a reveal the sex party with close family and friends some people brought gifts some didn't which was great! My mom and MIL both hosted that one. This time we aren't finding out the sex and I would really prefer to do a sip and see a couple weeks after the baby is due. That way people can wait to travel until the party and don't feel the need to come the day of the birth. She still isn't happy about it and says, "Every baby should be celebrated". But oh well she is very far away and at least she will be in town for the sip and see. That will be the baby's celebration. Lol

bossybluejay · January 2015

preggopooters said:

What's a sip and see?
Not done in my neck of the woods but what Ive gathered it can be either A) unwrapped gifts? Or after baby is born everybody comes by and sees the baby with or without gifts. I might be way off base though because like I said we don't do them around here.

@robynjeannette it's a party hosted by the parents after the baby is born so that you can have everyone come by at the same time, rather than having random people wanting to drop by to see the baby at various times. Gifts are not expected.

bossybluejay · January 2015

MZavakos said:

Theres just something about sitting in the center of the room, opening gifts from people with all the attention on me th at makes me feel uneasy. I appreciate the gesture and the gifts/thoughts but I hate pretending to like something I genuinely am thinking "What the hell am I gonna use this for??"

Same here- that's exactly why I dont want a baby shower. The whole idea makes me uneasy.

WifeDeAngel · January 2015

bossybluejay said:

MZavakos said:

Theres just something about sitting in the center of the room, opening gifts from people with all the attention on me th at makes me feel uneasy. I appreciate the gesture and the gifts/thoughts but I hate pretending to like something I genuinely am thinking "What the hell am I gonna use this for??"

Same here- that's exactly why I dont want a baby shower. The whole idea makes me uneasy.

***edited for quote fail***

Tritto this. I was so awkward for both my wedding and baby showers. My sister has asked me a few times if I was sure I didn't want a shower for this baby. She's so sweet to offer, but I keep telling her that if she wanted to have a luncheon with the family that's cool, but I don't want more than that.

apeschka · January 2015

MZavakos said:
Theres just something about sitting in the center of the room, opening gifts from people with all the attention on me th at makes me feel uneasy. I appreciate the gesture and the gifts/thoughts but I hate pretending to like something I genuinely am thinking "What the hell am I gonna use this for??"

This is my feeling exactly. My co-workers threw me a shower because I don't have family where I live and I loved them for it but I hate being the center of attention

GirPipley · January 2015

WifeDeAngel said:

bossybluejay said:

MZavakos said:

Theres just something about sitting in the center of the room, opening gifts from people with all the attention on me th at makes me feel uneasy. I appreciate the gesture and the gifts/thoughts but I hate pretending to like something I genuinely am thinking "What the hell am I gonna use this for??"

Same here- that's exactly why I dont want a baby shower. The whole idea makes me uneasy.

***edited for quote fail***

Tritto this. I was so awkward for both my wedding and baby showers. My sister has asked me a few times if I was sure I didn't want a shower for this baby. She's so sweet to offer, but I keep telling her that if she wanted to have a luncheon with the family that's cool, but I don't want more than that.

This for me too. My shower for DD was fun, but it was at my house, and I felt stressed having to have the house in perfect condition and then clean it after. I also did not like opening the presents. I had two bags that had like 100 tiny presents in them, all wrapped individually. I could tel guests were getting bored and uncomfortable, but I couldn't just be like "welp, this one's taking too long, NEXT!" I felt really bad for my guests.

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