Am I crazy for considering this? — The Bump
Late Term and Child Loss

Am I crazy for considering this?

We are quickly approaching Ben's first birthday. We had agreed to table the idea of TTC a rainbow until after that. As it approached, I realized that if I want to do a masters program I should do it now, before we ttc a rainbow. Am I crazy to put myself under that much stress with my sunshine child, my grief over losing Ben, and working full-time? If I get accepted into the program I want, I would start in May. I've noticed that when I'm stressed my grief is more difficult to deal with. Did anyone else experience that? Does that subside as time goes on? Or is that my new normal?
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Re: Am I crazy for considering this?

  • For me I had to go back to work way to early literally had two and a half days off because I could not financially afford to be at home , & it was extremely hard I would literally have tear running down my face while helping customers, it was stressful and no matter how much I tried to focus I noticed I would grieve more at work, all I can say is time heals. It's gotten a little bit easier for me, he is with me always, he motivates me, chase after your dream, It's going to hard but not impossible. Best wishes and hugs
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  • *****siggy

    I say go for it! With a caveat...

    I had 2 classes left to finish my MBA when Lincoln passed away in May. I finished those classes over the summer and found the distraction and sense of accomplishment helpful. However, it was very draining sometimes. In addition, I found it distracted me from my grief instead of allowing me to face it, which postponed my dealing with things.

    So I saw go for it, as long as you're not doing it to escape your grief instead of dealing with it and as long as you have lots of support.
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  • *siggy Yes I think grief intensifies when you are stressed or Ill, atleast for me. It does get easier with time. I say go for it!

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  • I was actually enrolled in a Masters program when we lost Eliott. I continued the program and finished, and it honestly think it's one of the things that helped get me through. It gave me something to work for and I kept thinking of how proud he'd be of me. Good luck with your decision!
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    Only you can really answer if the stress would be too much, but I hope you don't do it just because you think you *should* be able to handle it.

    Years ago I took a tax class through H & R and it started just a week after my mom died. The class was two nights a week for two hours each and there was a ton of homework. I couldn't deal with it, I hated it, but I pushed myself because I was raised to not quit and work hard. I complained to my dad about it and he said well, if you feel like it's a good distraction, keep at it, but if it's just adding more stress to the stress you already have, then quit.

    It was that simple, I quit. I push myself too hard sometimes, but once my dad (whose opinion I hold in high regard) gave me "permission" to quit, the decision was easy.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
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    Lilypie - (YesX)

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  • @angelsnight‌ that is an interesting point. I know it will be stressful. I want to do this and I found a program that seems like the perfect fit. We are trying to decide if we should begin TTC a rainbow baby. If we do, I probably wouldn't get my masters until that baby was around three. If I decide to get my masters, we would wait another year to ttc until I am almost done with my program. Decisions, decisions....
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  • Im sure whatever you decide will be the right decision for you and your family. Good Luck ! You can do it!

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