We are quickly approaching Ben's first birthday. We had agreed to table the idea of TTC a rainbow until after that. As it approached, I realized that if I want to do a masters program I should do it now, before we ttc a rainbow. Am I crazy to put myself under that much stress with my sunshine child, my grief over losing Ben, and working full-time? If I get accepted into the program I want, I would start in May. I've noticed that when I'm stressed my grief is more difficult to deal with. Did anyone else experience that? Does that subside as time goes on? Or is that my new normal?