Sad about gender reveal?

ooopswediditagain · January 2015

Also I've suffered a loss before and in no way don't find this rude or selfish etc... It's a normal emotion. You don't have to apologize for feeling that way.

ooopswediditagain · January 2015

poohbearlove123 said:

ooopswediditagain said:

Also I've suffered a loss before and in no way don't find this rude or selfish etc... It's a normal emotion. You don't have to apologize for feeling that way.

It might be a good idea for her to apologize for rubbing it in loss moms faces though and being ungrateful. Maybe you and her can go out for a nice lunch of tubesteaks.

This isn't a loss board only. This a June birth board... Not every poster needs to think carefully about all the loss moms before every post. I don't expect moms to think of me and my loss before every post. I expect moms to come on here and feel okay being open and honest and looking for people going through the same thing she is going through.

staciecoffey · January 2015

Uh stop right there...given the amount of losses on this board or near losses, these moms especially need to be taken into consideration. Her post was insensitive and quite honestly not necessary. I totally get gender disappointment, dealt with it myself but I have not let it put a damper on my pregnancy. In fact I was very humbled by it especially after joining the bump. Now I'm elated to be having a boy and all that comes with having a boy, shooting pee everywhere, bow ties and mustache binkies.

mathistm · January 2015

Hmm...apparently a large percentage of June 15 moms care about our loss moms as can be seen with 4 pages of those going to bat for them. Many of us stated that we get gender/sex disappointment and even provided the positives and insight she was looking for, but the way the poster who posted, what, twice total was insensitive. @oopswediditagain I have seen you post many intelligent posts so I'm not too sure why you are WK for someone who never came back and never had a nice thing to say to those who did actually offer her good advice and insight.

Karissa764 · January 2015

ooopswediditagain said:

poohbearlove123 said:

ooopswediditagain said:

Also I've suffered a loss before and in no way don't find this rude or selfish etc... It's a normal emotion. You don't have to apologize for feeling that way.

It might be a good idea for her to apologize for rubbing it in loss moms faces though and being ungrateful. Maybe you and her can go out for a nice lunch of tubesteaks.

This isn't a loss board only. This a June birth board... Not every poster needs to think carefully about all the loss moms before every post. I don't expect moms to think of me and my loss before every post. I expect moms to come on here and feel okay being open and honest and looking for people going through the same thing she is going through.

**quote fail**

Actually everyone does think of the loss moms before they post insensitive comments like op did. This is a community and we look out for each other. So you can bet your ass that any one of these amazing ladies is going to jump to the defense of a loss mom who is established here. This is a place where we look out for each other and if you need the support it's here for you. But it's earned support. You get what you give. You don't just show up and start blowing smoke out your ass to a community of people who have come to know each other over the last few months and expect for it to go over well. I think you might enjoy a tube steak..

ooopswediditagain · January 2015

I get that and the wording was certainly not optimal.... And I had to get over it at first too because it was crass. I think it's great that loss moms are given such great support here. I wish I had that when I went through it... Or when my sister lost three and had a full term still birth. We didn't know about these communities.

I'm saying as a loss mom it doesn't hurt my feelings, it is a normal emotion and I can understand that and not internalize it as if she was rubbing something in my face. I realize she is just looking for some support too and that's okay.

Twinteriscoming · January 2015

Yikes! This is an offensive post. I too cringed for GirPipley having to read it right now. I couldn't ever hold a pregnancy, and I spent years trying. My kids are adopted (from birth) and both of their birth mothers expressed a whole lot more love for each of them than you've shown for your son in this post. I was gonna say you could always place him for adoption, but you don't seem to like him enough for that.

Still, I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt, OP. I'd like to think you just forgot to say the obvious - that you are thrilled to have a healthy baby growing and you are only concerned about certain aspects of having two boys. I also know that once he is in your arms, you'll fall in love with him and wonder how you ever could have wanted anyone else. So I will just say of course there are positives. Millions of them. One day you'll be struck by how perfect he is for your family and you won't begin to imagine how it all came together. Just be patient. Oh, and do try to be more sensitive to others in your choice of words in the future. As others have said, this thread could have been completely different had you chosen your words more carefully.

ooopswediditagain · January 2015

mathistm said:
Hmm...apparently a large percentage of June 15 moms care about our loss moms as can be seen with 4 pages of those going to bat for them. Many of us stated that we get gender/sex disappointment and even provided the positives and insight she was looking for, but the way the poster who posted, what, twice total was insensitive. @oopswediditagain I have seen you post many intelligent posts so I'm not too sure why you are WK for someone who never came back and never had a nice thing to say to those who did actually offer her good advice and insight.

I have no clue if she ever came back. I don't normally read through pages of posts because I just don't have time. Just gave her my advice on the subject.

Jessica16393 · January 2015

@twinteriscoming that was rude to assume or to even say she doesn't like her kid enough for adoption. She has gender disappointment..it's not like she is a monster.give her the benefit of doubt? Wow

ombradellarosa · January 2015

@blastocarrier30 YES. I was thinking of that exact flowchart when I made the post! You read my mind.

ooopswediditagain said:

ooopswediditagain said:

Also I've suffered a loss before and in no way don't find this rude or selfish etc... It's a normal emotion. You don't have to apologize for feeling that way.

It might be a good idea for her to apologize for rubbing it in loss moms faces though and being ungrateful. Maybe you and her can go out for a nice lunch of tubesteaks.
This isn't a loss board only. This a June birth board... Not every poster needs to think carefully about all the loss moms before every post. I don't expect moms to think of me and my loss before every post. I expect moms to come on here and feel okay being open and honest and looking for people going through the same thing she is going through.

I think one can be open and honest while still considering the audience. In the case of June '15, this includes loss moms. As you yourself exemplify, this includes women who still have babies due in June. I think a lot of us have agreed that gender disappointment is a normal thing people deal with. The bigger issue here was the seeming lack of gratitude for a child at all because he was seen as a repeat. You even admitted that it took you aback. The considerate thing to do would be to think about that wording Before posting and failing that, apologise after it's taken wrong and explain better. She didn't do that. She called the responders insensitive. So yeah, not a lot of sympathy for her coming from me. I don't think it's much to ask. It shouldn't overburden anyone who takes the time to post.

girlymama79 · January 2015

What is wrong with everyone.

MJMum524 · January 2015

This makes me sad...

staciecoffey · January 2015

GIF party than?

girlymama79 · January 2015

Yes let's

girlymama79 · January 2015

ombradellarosa · January 2015

Do we have a theme? For now I am going with Captain Hook is hot.

Plus we have a nice oral-fixation continuity going here.

girlymama79 · January 2015

lkr004 · January 2015

girlymama79 said:

YAAAAS!

marshmallowmadness · January 2015

DH and I just found out we are having our third girl. It didn't take two seconds after hearing the news for my DH to get a huge smile on his face. He's been wanting a boy since DD2, but there's no way in hell he would be "disappointed" by whatever the sex is! There's always a 50/50 shot when it come to this... Maybe you should have considered adopting a girl if it was going to be a big issue.

moret07 · January 2015

TUBE STEAK!!

ombradellarosa · January 2015

@mrskblack11 I love you! That is glorious!

Want a personalized experience?

Sad about gender reveal?

Re: Sad about gender reveal?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards