I think enough is enough

wolflover25 · January 2015

Well, I know that I haven't really been that active on the board...I'm more of a skulker when it comes to online forums (haha)...but I'm out (again).

The last few years have been an interesting journey. I've been pregnant 5 times and am currently going through my 5th MC. My doctor has performed a plethora of tests on me and can't find anything that would cause the consistent losses between 8-10 weeks. This time I made it to 9 weeks 6 days. My husband keeps blaming it on my job (I work on boats), but it's not like my job is really physically demanding...I'm just on my feet a lot. But anyway, I digress....

I think I'm done though. These experiences have been both physically and emotionally draining. When I was pregnant with #1, at 8 weeks, I bought a bunch of cute baby clothes on sale...three days later, I MC'd. I still have them, but think I am going to donate them. I just don't want to go through this anymore. Besides, I'm almost 35 and reaching the end of my years to become a mother anyway.

I wish you all the very best and most wonderfully rewarding pregnancies.

Much love, Melissa

wildermom · January 2015

I can't even fathom how you're hurting right now. Hugs! Absolutely wishing you the best!

elizabetheleven · January 2015

I'm so very for your losses

Miz_Liz · January 2015

I am so sorry to hear about all of your losses. I cannot even pretend to know how horrible this has all been for you and your husband. There are lots of other options out there though - being a mom can still very much be in your cards! Perhaps get a 2nd opinion from a specialist too? Does not mean your Dr isn't good, but when it is your health/future, it is best to do everything possible for the outcome you want. Again, so sorry for all that you have been through. PM me if you want to chat/vent. I would also check out some of the other boards dedicated to losses and fertility issues - the PGAL one helped me my first few weeks this time because I had a loss in November. T&P with you!

malamaza · January 2015

Im so sorry for your loss! I hope you can find peace & answers. T&P

Yellow1998 · January 2015

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Thoughts and prayers are being sent to you.

emmacake08 · January 2015

So sorry for what you have gone through and are going through. I can't imagine how hard this is and of course only you know what's right. My sister had several MC due to genetic issues and I was always impressed with her resilience to keep going. I was in the infertility world and got pretty emotionally exhausted from getting my hopes up during every treatment and subsequent failure and really thought I was done trying. I'm not saying the sometimes awful advice I got of "don't give up, I know it will work", I'm just saying I'm sorry and it sucks and you should always do what you feel is best for you! Best wishes

CupcakecutieRN · January 2015

I'm so sorry you are going through this. That's so awful.

nbalkin · January 2015

I am so so sorry for what you are going through. Please be kind to yourself. My thoughts are with you

wolflover25 · January 2015

Thank you all. I truly appreciate all of your kind words and thoughts.

hcook321 · January 2015

I'm so sorry for your losses. Praying for you.

tessiedu · January 2015

I'm so sorry.

pmcd886 · January 2015

I am so very sorry for your loss, and your previous losses.

ErikaB123 · January 2015

I am so sorry for your losses. Those children are waiting for you in Heaven! Have you ever thought about adoption? There are many children out there needing homes, if you feel the need to have a child, why not consider it? You should talk with your husband about it and see how he feels. I have two aunts that are unable to have children and one chose to adopt and is a very happy/proud mom. I wish you the best on this journey.

Dajart4 · January 2015

Sorry for your loss

SeaLilly7777 · January 2015

I am so sorry. Like you I have been on a rough journey. This is my 6th pregnancy with no children yet. I too feel like it may be time to move on if this last try is not successful. It's such a hard thing to wrap your mind around. I am 37 and I don't know how much more I can take. Luckily this time my doctor has put me off bc my job is very demanding and we want to eliminate that from the equation. I had three early losses before 3 months and one baby I lost at 19 weeks d/t trisomy 18. The last I went into premature labour for no reason. I hate when people tell me that at least you were not full term. I know how hard it is at any stage. Good luck to you and please heal yourself. Grieve what you may not have and look forward to the things you will. Hugs

Lois172000 · January 2015

I can't pretend to understand with the history. It's awful. I wish you peace and comfort and should you try again answers and health.
Best wishes.

manda1214 · January 2015

I am so sorry. I hope you find comfort, wish you all the best. No one should suffer what you've been through.

Heavenwhip · January 2015

I'm so very sorry. I wish you all the very best in the future.

mrspiatt · January 2015

I'm very sorry for your losses Melissa. Positive thoughts being sent your way.

numb3rMel · January 2015

I'm so sorry. I want to give you the biggest hug.

llw42614 · January 2015

I wish I could say something super comforting to put you at peace. I am so incredibly sorry for your losses. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

benmel31 · January 2015

I am so sorry for your losses. Best of luck in the future!

lovepink2007 · January 2015

So sorry and wishing you the best.

kcebeling · January 2015

I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't begin to imagine how this feels for you and your husband. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

laurennowa · January 2015

I am so very sorry for your losses. I can't imagine what you are going through. I have only had one miscarriage and it destroyed me for a long time. You are a very brave woman to keep trying with so many disappointments. I hope you find a way to get your living child.

CarolinaGirl2014 · January 2015

So very sorry for your losses. I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make and an easy journey going forward.

queenb+ · January 2015

I'm so, so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine anything more difficult to endure. My T&P are with you and your husband.

BeautifulBedlam · January 2015

I also send my condolences. FWIW, you sound like a very strong woman who's in the right state of mind for such a difficult situation. Whatever your future holds, best of luck to you and your husband.

ckvan2001 · January 2015

I am so very sorry for your loss(es)! Sending thoughts and prayers your way, and wishing you the best in the future!

sconniegrl · January 2015

So sorry for all you've been through! I agree with PPs - You're so brave to have tried as you did. Praying for you and wishing you all the best.

LilPez · January 2015

I'm so very for your loss. Please take care.

sarawalks · January 2015

So very sorry to hear this. T&P's for your and your husband.

daffodil428 · January 2015

Melissa, I am so very sorry for your loss. I am hopeful that one day some way things will work out. Maybe a new doctor could offer a new prespective. Whatever you decide I wish you lots of love and happiness in your life.

andbabymakessix · January 2015

So very sorry. I hope that whatever decision you come to about your future family, you can find a peace about it

lc&jw · January 2015

Nobody should have to go through this kind of pain. I'm so sorry this is happening. There are many paths to becoming a mom. Nobody can tell you what's right for you. Allow yourself time to grieve, and then I would encourage you to consider all of your options.

I don't know if it's helpful to share my story, but I had 4 losses over 3 years while we were trying to conceive our first. I had totally lost hope that I would become a mom and was convinced that my body was trying to tell me that it was never going to happen. We ended up seeing an RE who convinced us to try IVF after many less invasive efforts failed. I thought it was pointless since I didn't think I could conceive a genetically normal embryo, but was amazed that we had a successful IVF cycle. Nobody could ever give me answers about why I continued to experience losses while TTC, or why it wasn't an issue during our IVF cycle.

Sometimes there are no clear answers. Don't lose faith though. If you want to become a mom, that can happen. However you get there may not be the path you expected to walk down, but in the end that won't matter. Big hugs to you. Feel free to PM me if I can be helpful in any way.