SAIF Regs - please come in

TJ1979 · January 2015

Hello all my girls! I hope everyone is doing well.

I was thinking that we need to get a board summary put up at the top of the board, and also a newbie post stickied at the top so that we can put board-specific information in there.

I was wondering if anyone wanted to volunteer to help me write these things? The board summary would just be a little 1-2 sentence "This board is for women who have successfully brought home a baby (or babies!) after infertility. Please refer to the newbie post below for details on how we roll." or some such.

For the newbie post, I would of course like to start with congrats and welcome. I would like to include that if you are pregnant after IF, please join our awesome sisters at PAIF, and we hope to see you back in 9 or so months. I would like to include that we do a TTC check in weekly, and PG check in weekly, and we try to keep TTC and PG posts to their respective check ins. What else do we need to say? Please intro with your story? Please put a recognizable avatar and siggy so we can remember you?

I want to make sure that we are welcoming and kind to our newbies, but that we also teach them the way of our board, so that they can intro and join us and everyone remains comfortable and happy.

Please, please, please, give me your feedback. PM me if there is something you want to say that you don't want public. If you want to volunteer to help write the board summary or the newbie post, please, please, please post here or PM me. I need help y'all!

TJ

Robeano · January 2015

I think this is a great idea. I know for mysekf when looking at other boards I always appreciate the etiquete post.

kmc84 · January 2015

bellalou32 said:
I think what you have written down sums it all up. If think of something else, I'll let you know, but it seems like you covered it all.

Ditto!

Mrs.AmyDylan · January 2015

I'll jot a few things down. Let me think for a smidge.

Cwhitaker27 · January 2015

I like what you said above. I might Add to the newbie post something along the lines of... If you don't know where to start please check out our weekly HDBD post where you can share pictures of your little one and get to know the other ladies and their children.

CarrieB. · January 2015

I think this is great TJ.

Can we get a group hug in here too! I know I don't post as much since I'm done TTC, but seriously in light of all this crazy bump drama, I love this little corner of sanity.

If it wasn't for you ladies, and the ladies of IF, PAIF years back, I don't know if I'd be where I am today.

Aww... :::hugs::::

Mrs.AmyDylan · January 2015

Huge hugs to @CarrieB.‌

I'm in camp SAIF is primarily a parenting board, not a TTC board. However, I'm totally in favor of cheering/shouting out our BFPs.

kaf7 · January 2015

I think what you have summarized sounds great. I like @Cwhitaker27‌ s idea too...even if the bump board burped a few times on that one

my only other suggestion is having the post be a closed one. I find people's intros get a bit lost when they are open posts and only some bumpies intro there or the line of welcomes gets added on. But others may disagree and I don't feel really strongly about it.

Julie21613 · January 2015

chiwifey said:

What you have sounds great TJ! But like others if something pops into my mind, I'll let you know.

Thank you for doing this!

Ditto this! Great idea!

MoFree · January 2015

I don't see the board as parenting centered when the majority of posts, at least from my bitter point of view, are focused on pregnancy and successful treatment. Unfortunately it is not a very comfortable place for someone who is struggling to conceive because it feels like no one else is in that situation.

mnj05 · January 2015

@MoFree ((hugs)) I hate it's so hard for some still.

I like the idea of it being closed as well so new members can be recognized rather than their posts being buried.

TJ1979 · January 2015

MoFree said:

I don't see the board as parenting centered when the majority of posts, at least from my bitter point of view, are focused on pregnancy and successful treatment. Unfortunately it is not a very comfortable place for someone who is struggling to conceive because it feels like no one else is in that situation.

@MoFree I think the original point of SAIF was to be parent centered, and we're trying to get it back there. We hate to see any of our beloved board members in pain, or feeling uncomfortable. And we really hate to see them leave because of that. If we got the majority of the TTC and PG posts into their respective check ins, would that make this a more comfortable place? That's what we're trying to do. Do you have other suggestions?

Millie1984 · January 2015

TJ1979 said:

MoFree said:

I don't see the board as parenting centered when the majority of posts, at least from my bitter point of view, are focused on pregnancy and successful treatment. Unfortunately it is not a very comfortable place for someone who is struggling to conceive because it feels like no one else is in that situation.

@MoFree I think the original point of SAIF was to be parent centered, and we're trying to get it back there. We hate to see any of our beloved board members in pain, or feeling uncomfortable. And we really hate to see them leave because of that. If we got the majority of the TTC and PG posts into their respective check ins, would that make this a more comfortable place? That's what we're trying to do. Do you have other suggestions?

@MoFree Im so sorry thats been your experience.

@TJ1979 If the goal is to have the discussions on the board be more parenting centered, it might help to say that explicitly in the newbie post? To add to what you already wrote, you could say something like: we do a TTC check in weekly, and PG check in weekly, and we try to keep TTC and PG posts to their respective check ins, as we would like this to be a parenting-centered board where women who may be experiencing difficulty conceiving their second + children feel comfortable.

ETA- words

mdiblasi10 · January 2015

Everything you wrote sounds good! I would agree with Millie that we make it clear in the intro/newbie post that all posts should be parenting centered, with the exception of the pregnancy check-in, and maybe suggest visiting PAIF if you find yourself pregnant again. Thanks @TJ1979

CarrieB. · January 2015

Now that my baby month board has officially blown up, I would be interested in more parenting threads on this board. I feel it has been TTC heavy which I don't have much to offer on. Maybe if we had a sticky on doing a FET that would be nice. I think that question gets asked a lot.

TJ1979 · January 2015

richzep said:

And someone may have mentioned but taking it out of the pregnancy category and putting SAIF in parenting.

Oh... I was told this had been done recently? Checking... (not that it would likely get fixed any time soon if it wasn't.)

TJ1979 · January 2015

TJ1979 said:

richzep said:

And someone may have mentioned but taking it out of the pregnancy category and putting SAIF in parenting.

Oh... I was told this had been done recently? Checking... (not that it would likely get fixed any time soon if it wasn't.)

It shows up under parenting now for me... am I missing it somewhere?

mdiblasi10 · January 2015

TJ1979 said:

TJ1979 said:

richzep said:

And someone may have mentioned but taking it out of the pregnancy category and putting SAIF in parenting.

Oh... I was told this had been done recently? Checking... (not that it would likely get fixed any time soon if it wasn't.)

It shows up under parenting now for me... am I missing it somewhere?

I also just checked and it's under Parenting now for me too.

Cwhitaker27 · January 2015

mdiblasi10 said:

TJ1979 said:

TJ1979 said:

richzep said:

And someone may have mentioned but taking it out of the pregnancy category and putting SAIF in parenting.

Oh... I was told this had been done recently? Checking... (not that it would likely get fixed any time soon if it wasn't.)

It shows up under parenting now for me... am I missing it somewhere?

I also just checked and it's under Parenting now for me too.

I'm on mobile and it still shows up under pregnancy for me. I also checked parenting in case it's under both but it wasn't there

itsmevkb · January 2015

I've been on this board forever and back in the day when there were many more members there were tons of parenting posts right along side tons of ttc #2 or more posts. Honestly, I think it's really hard to separate the two things as there will always be sets of women at totally different spots in their lives.

I'm also not a fan of trying to tell people what and what not to post and where but hey, that's just my opinion.

TJ1979 · January 2015

Well, that's part of why I posted this, to get an open dialogue going.

Please, everyone chime in with your opinions. This is YOUR board.

ccam · January 2015

Ducky719 said:

itsmevkb said:
I've been on this board forever and back in the day when there were many more members there were tons of parenting posts right along side tons of ttc #2 or more posts. Honestly, I think it's really hard to separate the two things as there will always be sets of women at totally different spots in their lives.

I'm also not a fan of trying to tell people what and what not to post and where but hey, that's just my opinion.
This is how i feel too...it's hard to separate the two. And i don't like telling people what they can and cannot post either.

It's tough bc by saying you can't do one (or the other) you run the risk of alienating someone.

I have to agree with this and with @cinciem‌. I wasn't even going to comment earlier because I felt like I was in the minority. But where do you draw the line with something like this?

This is a really small, close-knit board compared to some of the others and I feel like we all kind of "know" one another. I have turned to you all for support and I want to be there for other people, whether it's good or bad. On the other hand, I hate that some ladies feel they can't be here because it's painful.

That doesn't really help answer the question I guess but maybe a warning in post titles so that ladies will avoid it if it might be upsetting? I don't know....

ETA: hope that doesn't sound insensitive.

kaf7 · January 2015

I can share some of @mofrees pain but I also recognize that where I am at in life changes and I don't think it is a negative thing necessarily to step away from the board a bit when you need to. Sometimes when I am having a tough time seeing PG announcements I just don't bump for a bit, or I don't look at every post. I agree that fostering more posts that are not TTC or PG related would be more inclusive....whether that be parenting related or not. I think having descriptive post titles helps because then I can choose what to avoid if I need to. I know I'm not grest at that though. I also agree that I love how tight knit our board is. I can still remember @pennylane encouraging me to POAS back when I was really late for AF and nauseated. And In my new town you guys are really my friends right now (I feel both sappy and a bit embarrassed admitting that). Now I feel like having a group hug in the midst of this thread.

mdiblasi10 · January 2015

I also agree with the others about the bonds we share here. We all went through IF one way or the other, and I would hate to see us split up because that's what brought us together. And one would hope that our common bond is what matters most. I also don't want to see anyone hurting - I don't think any one of us does. On the flip side, we should be able to share in other's joys too.

Thank you @TJ1979‌ for all you do!

phishgirl29 · January 2015

The rest of the boards I follow have all up at left TB as of this week, so you and Secondary IF are all that's keeping me here. The posts are sad to read sometimes but in the end, I "know" the posters well enough to put my sadness aside and be happy for them. I'm indifferent as to a solution.

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