Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
CaliCarly77
member
Re: Spontaneous Twins
Married to Lee since 9/2/2000
Momma to Hais November 2002 and Carter April 2010 (with use of fertility treatments)
Cancer Survivor
Bringing them both home...UPDATE...The girls are home!!! 1/7/15 after 20 days in the NICU!
Spontaneous g/g twins. I was definitely shocked and spent my whole pregnancy feeling terrified that it was going to be miserable. I am actually enjoying it a lot, though I do have those "oh my goodness, there are two babies" moments. They are #3 and #4 for me, so I at least had knowledge from those two to turn to...though you really can never be totally prepared for twins!!
@CaliCarly77 I totally get what you mean by feeling gyped out of a pregnancy/experience. I always wanted four kids, but with having twins, we made it to number four pretty quick (I am still under 30). I am sad about stopping now, but don't want to have more kids. I also felt like it is much harder to enjoy their individual babyhoods and that pregnancy was so awful I am sad I will never enjoy a pregnancy again.
Spontaneous b/g twins arriving on Monday after one m/c and FIVE years of trying. To say they were a surprise is an understatement!
Now I'm so so so happy to have them both growing and doing well. It is surprising how much you can love them before they are even born. I can't wait to meet them!
I am so happy to have a son and daughter out of one pregnancy since it wasn't an easy one, but at the same time I'm a little sad I'll never again have the excitement of seeing another baby for the first time on U/S, hearing the heartbeat, and all of the wonderful things that do come along with pregnancy.
I'm also feeling guilty sometimes about not having a lot of one on one time with both babies, and not always being able to tend to their needs fast enough because there are two. This twin mom thing is tough for sure. It helps me to remember the saying that what you take for granted, someone else is praying for.
Devastated is a good word!!! Yeah we didn't know if ours were identical or not until birth (it was very obvious they were NOT lol) Two of our friends have di/di identicals so we knew it was a possibility if they were the same sex! (we were team green!)
YES!!! I kind of want that experience of enjoying pregnancy! Though I know a lot of women who have singles don't enjoy the pregnancy so its a lame thing to mourn the loss of. And yes just looking through their photos over the past year has really tugged on me about how they had to share this babyhood (and everything!) with each other.
We found out at my 8 wk US that our let's try for #2 is actually 2 and 3. YIKES...
I didn't realize until after I was asked about family history that there are two sets in my family. One is never talked about bc the twin died early. My great uncle has a set of identical twins.
We have a special needs kiddo who is 6 and did not want her to be alone. I guess she's really not going to be alone now.
I'm 12 wks with di/di spontanious twins. Look to be fraternal.
Excited and scared all at the same time.
I have two sets of spontaneous fraternal twins on my side, and two sets of IVF/clomid twins, also on my side.
I honestly was not shocked at all. We had talked about twins on our first date. This is a second marriage for both of us, and we both wanted two more "newborn phases" so the, what happens if the first newborn phase is twins convo came up. Every since then, we have always joked about having twins. I think it is completely crazy that we actually ended up with them.
Mom to P (12/7/10) Step-Mom-to-be to H (05/29/13)
BFP 10/13/14 TWINS! 20 week loss of both twins, Scott Feivel and Miles Conrad
BFP 06/19/2015 16 week loss, Penny June
2015 Working with RI; Diagnosed with thrombopheiia and celiacs
BFP 03/12/16 TWINS AGAIN! PLEASE BE OUR RAINBOWS
DS1-7/21/2011 @ 1:51am
DD-5/29/2013 @ 2:40pm
DS2-5/29/2013 @ 3:21pm
#4 EDD- 9/28/2016