babyshower

firstmommy94 · January 2015

when do you normally have the baby shower I don't know when it's supposed to be done I get a bout the time it's done

firstmommy94 · January 2015

Ok thank you

koehn27 · January 2015

With my last pregnancy I was due at the end of January, so my friends threw the shower about two months before. It was a total surprise! This time around we will be having a combined shower/baby reveal party right after we have the gender scan, so I'll be about 6 months along.

firstmommy94 · January 2015

So it should be after I find out the gender

2dumbdogs · January 2015

firstmommy94 said:
when do you normally have the baby shower I don't know when it's supposed to be done I get a bout the time it's done

You aren't planning your own, are you? Because that is kind of tacky.

firstmommy94 · January 2015

Well I was always taught if you want something done do it your self

firstmommy94 · January 2015

I prefer to do my own

2dumbdogs · January 2015

firstmommy94 said:
Well I was always taught if you want something done do it your self

So you are going to tell your friends and family members to come buy stuff for your baby? That is SO tacky.

firstmommy94 · January 2015

No

firstmommy94 · January 2015

No wat plan on doing for the baby shower is the cooking and the games and being in charge of the guest list

mgarrett921 · January 2015

I had a prego friend last year. She was worried no one would throw her a shower. (I'd already secretly been planning one in case her "best friends" didn't.) So I wasn't stepping on toes, even tho they never did have one for her, I planned a couples shower. We had a bbq in late June and invited all her friends and their spouses, and her husbands friends and spouses. Gifts were optional although everyone brought one. Very casual but still fun and she got great stuff. I'm hoping for a couples shower - so my hubby can be involved - and maybe a girls only with my family and hubby's family.

AshleyM0125 · January 2015

Why do people have to be rude? Everyone does their own thing. You may not agree but who are you to judge?

sunshineandsilver · January 2015

I've known plenty of people to plan a baby shower for themselves. The people who care about you will not consider it tacky, they will be happy to be there. I see it as a celebration of the new baby! Definitely wait until after you know the gender (if you plan on finding out), that way if people bring a gift they can make it gender specific. Have fun planning!

skippinkate · January 2015

At the risk of hurting peoples' feelings:
In my experience, it is unusual to throw your own baby shower, but maybe it shouldn't be assumed that everyone has a support network that can or will take charge of that sort of thing.
We don't know what circumstances OP is in. I hope that someone will step up for you, but if not, I totally understand the need to celebrate on your own terms.

KLB2T · January 2015

Please trust these experienced women when we say you should never throw one for yourself or assume one is going to be thrown for you. Whoever (if anyone) offers to throw one for you, it is possible they will ask for your input, who you want there, when you want it, etc... If asked, you can tell the person throwing it for you that sometime in the beginning of the third trimester is a good time (IMO).

Hope this helps.

divinemsbee · January 2015

No one on here is more than about 2 minutes pregnant, we're not even past first tri. Table baby shower talks for at least another month. There very well may still be someone planning to throw you one (because planning one for yourself is tacky). They're not weddings, they take less than a month to plan, and that's just because invitations have to be sent. Chill.

sunshineandsilver · January 2015

I'm pretty sure people can ask whatever question they want, when they want. As for it being tacky, I understand that is your opinion. My opinion is that it is not, and I know MANY others who also do not think of it as being tacky. Not everyone has the same opinion as you, but no need to be rude. Let's keep it friendly.

aRBe · January 2015

AshleyM0125 said:

Why do people have to be rude? Everyone does their own thing. You may not agree but who are you to judge?

Everyone is also entitled to their own opinion. I know 7 months pregnant I'm not going to be cooking or planning games for a baby shower but FTMs probably know better than me

cuebaby15 · January 2015

I think it's completely up to you on throwing it yourself. I have never and won't this go round simply because I'm not up to the stress it brings on. I don't think it's tacky at all though. People seem to think it's tacky having one for more than just your first child however people aren't paid for their opinion. I also agree being rude is unnecessary but who are we to judge people who seem to have such a strong opinion on other peoples lives through the Internet any ways..... They are normally done towards the end of pregnancy when just finding out the gender it's still a bit to soon.

caranabir · January 2015

I think your family and friends will support you no matter what. I would plan my own. No matter who throws it, it's still people who love and support you and your child. If they want to shower them in gifts then let them. I always have mine around 34 weeks. So it'll probably be the middle of June. And guess what? My first baby shower was a potluck! Because my friends and family love and support me. I don't need a friend to rent out the Four Seasons for loved ones to come together and support the birth of my child. Also, a lot of people think it's tacky to have a baby shower after your first child. I'm pregnant with my third and my sister in law couldn't be any happier to be planning another baby shower. Just go with your guts. You know your loved ones more than strangers.

cowboys2009 · January 2015

Please don't throw your own baby shower. Also, it would be helpful if you used proper punctuation so that people could read your posts.

BeautifulBedlam · January 2015

When to have a shower is up to the MTB and the host. I've never been to one that was thrown earlier than 6mos.
It's generally considered tacky and greedy to throw your own shower.
However, I've been to several showers hosted by "older" (30+) parents - to - be themselves: but they are usually more "expensive" when hosted by the mom & dad, then when not--the ones I've been to had a large array of nicer food, alcohol or drink selection and plush dessert spreads. The theme seems to be that the hosts provide a great party/get-together in return for the gifts they may receive. I didn't care who it was hosted by and enjoyed the party, but there's many people who will not even rsvp to a shower like this.
Don't be surprised if people tell you you're being gift-grabby or don't want to come.

Eta: age, details

caranabir · January 2015

If I'm not mistaken, she wasn't even asking for advice on if she should throw her own but rather when she should throw it.

wildermom · January 2015

If you want that kind of total control over getting the items you want/need, it makes a lot more sense to just go to Babies R Us and buy what you need. Spending your own money on your own party and concurrently ticking off your friends sounds a bit, umm, (searches for wording that complies with the glorious new guidelines) counterproductive..

caranabir · January 2015

@rainbowsandunicorns‌ That's a matter of opinion, that she wasn't asking for.

thesportsgal · January 2015

caranabir said:

@rainbowsandunicorns‌ That's a matter of opinion, that she wasn't asking for.

sunshineandsilver · January 2015

How is throwing your own shower being controlling of what items you want/need? That doesn't make any sense. Being in control of what items you receive has to do with the registry, and nothing to do with who throws the shower.

KLB2T · January 2015

sunshineandsilver said:
How is throwing your own shower being controlling of what items you want/need? That doesn't make any sense. Being in control of what items you receive has to do with the registry, and nothing to do with who throws the shower.

This isn't entirely true. Sure you have a registry, but I'm pretty sure 75% of the items I received were not on my registry and I think others would say the same....so yes, if you want to be in control of what you receive its better to buy them yourself.

sunshineandsilver · January 2015

"how

KLB2T said:

sunshineandsilver said:
How is throwing your own shower being controlling of what items you want/need? That doesn't make any sense. Being in control of what items you receive has to do with the registry, and nothing to do with who throws the shower.
This isn't entirely true. Sure you have a registry, but I'm pretty sure 75% of the items I received were not on my registry and I think others would say the same....so yes, if you want to be in control of what you receive its better to buy them yourself.

Obviously, but that applies to EVERYONE, regardless of who throws the shower. Her comment implied that was OP's goal.

wildermom · January 2015

sunshineandsilver said:
How is throwing your own shower being controlling of what items you want/need? That doesn't make any sense. Being in control of what items you receive has to do with the registry, and nothing to do with who throws the shower.

Ok, so... WHY do you feel the need to throw yourself a shower? There seems to be quite the miscommunication here. Could just be the grammar/punctuational errors that I'm trying to navigate...

sunshineandsilver · January 2015

I'm done posting on this topic, you girls go ahead and keep posting post after post on how tacky she is. I'm sure she didn't understand after the first few girls who told her.

AshleyM0125 · January 2015

aRBe said:

AshleyM0125 said:

Why do people have to be rude? Everyone does their own thing. You may not agree but who are you to judge?

Everyone is also entitled to their own opinion. I know 7 months pregnant I'm not going to be cooking or planning games for a baby shower but FTMs probably know better than me

I'm not saying you can't have your own opinion. My only point was that there is no need to be rude about it. Present your own opinion in a way that is respectful. It just doesn't seem that complicated to me.

firstmommy94 · January 2015

Well me and my friend are planning it and yes I'll b planning the cooking and the games and being in charge but we didn't know when the best time to do the baby shower

deviduke412 · January 2015

My best friend who threw my bridal shower is also doing my baby shower. I'm due Aug 4 and the shower is being planned for May 16. The only thing I am in charge of is creating the guest list. And I hate surprises so she kindly obliged to letting me know date, time, and location this time around. All details will be her decision and I'm so ok with that!

keenebride2015 · January 2015

I would say the best time for a baby shower is when you're about 7-7.5 months along. Just personal preference. You're big enough for the games to be fun, but not full on bloated whale status.

As for the etiquette portion, I understand wanting to have a say in food, games, etc. That doesn't mean you have to plan it yourself. My best friend threw my party, and she knows how controlling I can (sometimes?) be, so we made all the decisions together. It was as simple as phone calls back and forth ("hey, what do you think about a slider bar? Ohh, I just found a great punch recipe!" all the way to "I effing hate that game, and I will not be amused if people are sniffing chocolate diapers at the shower") Let someone else hold the reigns, but I think you still having an opinion on what type of "theme" or whathaveyou is perfectly reasonable. But no, I don't think you should do it all yourself, send out the invites, blah blah blah, that is tacky. Sorry, but it is.

elc9311 · January 2015

Darbie914 said:

firstmommy94 said:

Well me and my friend are planning it and yes I'll b planning the cooking and the games and being in charge but we didn't know when the best time to do the baby shower

The best time to have the shower that you are planning yourself is never. Let your friend host it and you sit back and enjoy the gift you're being given. A baby shower is, in and of itself, a gift and you should never be involved in planning your own gift.

I politely disagree. Speaking from personal experience, I had to have a heavy hand in planning a good portion of the baby shower I was given for my son. Why? My family and hubby's family come from vastly different backgrounds and I had to ensure the food, games, and other things wouldn't cause problems between them all. Additionally, since we were not renting a space for the shower and no one else had a space large enough, the shower was held in my own backyard. I needed to know details to ensure we had enough seating, shade, etc. The key here is that I was ASKED by those wanting to throw my shower for my input and help. They wanted to make sure it was a day that could be enjoyed by all and to do that they needed my help.

I see no problem in helping plan your own shower. I do, however, agree it is rude to do it completely on your own.

Since the OP is helping her friend plan it, I see nothing wrong with what she is doing. (And maybe the food piece is because people have allergies and she's trying to be sensitive. Ever think of that?)

Lois172000 · January 2015

We had ours around 7 mos.
I would never throw my own. Seems VERY tacky to me.
However, if no one wanted to throw a shower for me as a FTM. MAYBE I would consider throwing a "meet the baby" party myself once the baby arrived and secretly hope people would bring gifts. Still could be frowned at but it's an option. But then again germs around a newborn... not so much.

rebeccafoster2014 · January 2015

I'll be planning my own baby shower. My husband is in the military so we are currently half way across the world for family or friends to come let alone plan it. We will have some friends but it'll mostly be a get together with some of his coworkers. Not everyone has a traditional baby shower because of their situation and or families stance on the pregnancy.

jerzegirl201 · January 2015

I am sorry but why the hell can't someone throw their own baby shower? My family doesn't have a lot of money and I dont expect anyone else to pay for it. We are throwing a nontraditional BBQ/shower. It's going to be for all of our friends and family, male and female. I see nothing wrong with throwing your own shower. What's the difference you already went to a store and picked specific gifts you want... why is that not tacky but throwing your own shower is?

I would not feel offended if someone planned their own shower. So weird I just dont get how it's "tacky".

JumpAroundBucky · January 2015

The baby shower is thrown whenever your friends or family throw one for you. It's usually toward the end of pregnancy, but it's really up to them.

malamaza · January 2015

I've never had a baby shower since I live in a country where that is not practiced. Friends and family visit you after the baby is born and most bring gifts (of their own choosing, no registries).

However, I am familiar with the idea of bridal and baby showers and am seriously curious as to why it is considered tacky to plan your own, especially since most women register for their own gifts as well (which for me is tackier than throwing your own party- you are literraly telling people what to buy you!!)

Wouldn't throwing your own baby shower be similar to throwing your child a birthday party the following year? Sure, people bring gifts but those same friends and family invite you to their celebrations and you bring them gifts so I really don't get what the big deal is....?

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